


The Best of Friendships Have Benefits

by ArrowheadProductions



Series: All the Universes [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternative Universe - No Arrow, Best Friends, Complicated Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Humor, Implied/Referenced Cheating, In which Laurel Tommy and Ray are all super AU, Loneliness, Rebound romance, Robert Queen is super AU as well btw, no island au, sex buddies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-05-09 11:50:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 106,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5538800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArrowheadProductions/pseuds/ArrowheadProductions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like Communism or time travel, having a sex-buddy sounds a lot better in theory than in practice. However, Oliver and Felicity see it as a means to rebuild each other. So, inevitable consequences be damned, they still give it a go, not expecting to gain a whole lot more than what they initially bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shoulder to Cry On

**Author's Note:**

> Some chapters will be rated E, but I'll address those when they come into fruition. I do plan on actually giving this story some plot and not just filling it with endless smut so I went with the M rating. There will be some buildup before we get to the sexytimes so be prepared for angst.

            Oliver didn’t know what else to do other than sit on the cold cobblestone steps, staring in disdain at the bright diamond that glimmered in the sorrowful 2 am lights. One piece of jewelry was remarkably life changing. He didn’t know whether to mourn the tragically Shakespearean downfall of his longest relationship to date or to panic over the fact that he was almost willing to actually use the damn ring.

            He just didn’t know much of anything anymore given the past eight years of his life were unhinged in about thirty seconds. Well, he assumed it was a longer go than that, but that was as long as his brain would allow him. Anything else would just be self-deprecation.

            The only things he did know were all the terrible truths that lie ahead of him. He was now single, jobless, homeless, and practically friendless. It was astounding how huge of a part someone could create in your life; the kind of part you don’t realize is there until it becomes an empty hole.

            He scrubbed his hands over his face, silently hoping to rub all the residual pain and betrayal that soaked through his pores. He hadn’t even realized he was crying until now, vision blurred and limbs heavy in defeat. There was a shame that came with outright sobbing over losing the love of your life to another man. It felt like he was letting them win, take away his pride, even. 

            What made him angrier was the fact that he couldn’t bring himself to hate her. More than anything did he want to take that ring and throw it in the nearest body of water, but he could never. He was sure in time, he’d feel more intense anger, but he blamed himself for not being enough. He wasn’t enough, because he didn’t give enough to the relationship.

            His pity party was interrupted by a light touch. He could pinpoint the person for two reasons. One, they’d been in a situation nearly identical to this one not even six days ago. The roles were simply reversed. In fact, it was that moment that gave him the clarity he needed to see that it was well overdue that he proposes. Funny, how things work out.

            This was also her apartment complex.

            Felicity let out a heavy sigh, one he’d released so recently that he was surprised it wasn’t his own breath. A little puff could be seen and it reminded him that there was snow on the ground. Yet, he felt no cold. All he felt was shame, loss, scorn, and most importantly, heartache. He ached to have the blissful ignorance of yesterday. It made his face hot.

            “I’m so sorry.” She was rubbing circles in his back. “She said no?”

            Oh, but he did. There was no denying that he did. Who dates a woman for eight years without proposing? Without taking time from work to go on vacations? Sure, there was a time where they were in school and couldn’t afford such luxuries due to lack of time. He should have proposed to her when they graduated. Then, she moved temporarily to Central City for an excellent internship. She came back after the year. He should have proposed then. The rest was all meaningless excuses. They were perfect for each other. Instead, he took her for granted.

            “She didn’t have to.” He sniffled. Part of the reason he came to Felicity was he wouldn’t feel any shame crying in front of her. She’d done the same last week. Let’s just say Ray Palmer was the scum of the earth in his eyes. There’s a man that proposed and _still_ continued to sleep around with other women. Felicity threw the ring off the bridge. He stood there with her and grinned as the family heirloom tumbled into the water.

            That was different, though. Oliver never liked Ray for Felicity. It was a tale as old as time that matched his situation in a way. They’d met in high school when Palmer wasn’t tall, dark, and handsome and never parted. Ray and Oliver were actually friends back then, too. Back then, Oliver feared their dating would ruin the friend group, but was surprised when they outlasted he and Ray’s friendship. They were just two awkward teenagers that bumbled around together on the robotics team. Then, they all went to college and Palmer became a major dick along with incredibly handsome and rich. 

            Her brow wrinkled in that curious way it always did when she was calculating anything from coding to people. She pushed her glasses up her nose and stared at him until he offered her a suitable explanation. 

            He swallowed and roughly wiped his eyes. “You know how I had a huge business meeting with Wayne Enterprises before my date with Laurel?”

            “You guys were going to hire some guys from their science division, right?” 

            “Right. Well, Laurel knew that too. I made it seem like I was cancelling on her and told her to check into _The Star_ Hotel on me. I booked the romance suite and everything. I wanted to make her upset with me, you know so she could be even more surprised by the proposal.”

            “And that’s where you guys stayed after prom too, right?”

            On a normal day, he’d smile at her impeccable memory, but now all he could do was nod and grimace at this. It seemed Laurel didn’t make the romantic connection. He didn’t blame her, though. He did make it seem like he was flaking.

            “So, I wear that suit she really likes, the gray one… Buy some flowers…” He finds himself breathing heavy at the memory, the false joy that spread throughout his chest. He was finally making the right decision, finally grew up. He had a good job, a good girl, good friends, and was now ready to be a man.

            He was too late, apparently.

            “Her and Tommy… They were fucking on the- I can’t even say _fucking,_ because guess what? They’re in _love_! Isn’t that just great news, Felicity? My old roommate in college, my boss, the man I was probably going to make my best man, actively pursued and stole my girlfriend. Not only that, but she fell for him, because Tommy is a man. Tommy is ready for commitment. He’s been there for her through all of my bullshit.” 

            Through his fogged vision, he could see Felicity processing this information. Her hand was over her mouth, face scrunched up, and eyes sullen and wide. The hand that stroked him stiffened on his shoulder, squeezing him for stability. 

            “Laurel… and Tommy?” Her face evened and she closed her eyes. “Fuck.” 

            “What?”

            “I never suspected anything.” She assured him. “But upon reflection-”

            “-It makes a lot of sense. I know. On my way over here I just kept thinking about every time we’ve hung out, the three of us. I was always so psyched that they got along so well. Now, I know why.”

             “How long has this been going on for?” She still maintained an absolutely horrified expression on her face. She could barely talk about it without sounding too disgusted. Laurel and Oliver was the power couple of high school. They were inseparable and unbeatable.

            He sighed. “Through their strained explanation, it’s been about a year from what I gather… Last Christmas. It all started as a friends with benefits kind of thing after Laurel’s dad was in the hospital and I was out of town on business. Tommy was there for her and I wasn’t. As, always, apparently.”

            “That’s bullshit. You were a great boyfriend.”

            “You have to say that. You’re my only friend left.”

             “No, seriously, Oliver. I would tell you if you were a shitty boyfriend and you weren’t. I know shitty boyfriends.”

            Ray Palmer became a pretty shitty boyfriend, but he started as a sensitive, caring, loyal guy that would have changed the entire world’s molecular structure to be with her. She couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment that all went away, but she was convinced it was a gradual process. The cheating, of course, was the final straw.

            “I was afraid to commit. I should have proposed sooner.”

            “What? So you two could be going through a divorce right now? This is not your fault. It’s a blessing you didn’t give her that ring. And okay, so you waited a long time, but you guys started dating in high school for God’s sakes. Those don’t count as real years. Then we were in college and everyone was busy and stressed. There wasn’t any time for marriage. Then, Laurel went off for that internship and just returned a year ago.”

            “So what’s my excuse for this year?”

            “You shouldn’t “have” to propose to someone. You should want to. You didn’t feel like you were ready until this year and when it comes down to it, that’s when it really counts. You were serious about a relationship and future with her and she evidently was not. So much so that she went behind your back and cheated on you with your best friend.”

            “ _You’re_ my best friend.” He smiled weakly.

            “God, how did that happen?” She huffed and pulled him so his head rested in her lap, hands threading through his short hair. He closed his eyes at the warmth of her body heat and allowed himself a moment of peace. It wasn’t long before another tear trailed down his face. This time, she wiped it away for him.

            “I’m sorry this happened to you.” She whispered. “I’m sorrier you feel like this is your fault.”

            She didn’t have much room to talk in that department, though. When Felicity found out Ray was cheating on her with numerous women, she went out of her way to figure out how it was her fault. It didn’t help that Ray’s initial reaction was to go offensive and mold her into the villain. If anything, Oliver’s situation gave her insight on the both of them, that they were both the victims here.

            “I quit my job. He’s my boss. I couldn’t work for that.” 

            “You don’t have to justify anything to me.”

            “I just feel so lost. My life has flipped itself inside out.”

            “You’ll find your way back.” 

            “How do you know?”

            “Because you’re not alone.”

            She had to find her way back too.

 


	2. Two Months Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To rebuild yourself as a human being, you have to start at the bottom.

            Oliver and Felicity made little progress in the means of bettering themselves due to the situation. There were small steps. For instance, Oliver got himself his own apartment (mainly because living in his parent’s old place was driving him up a wall) on the opposite side of town. As for the job front, the only interview he landed was one that initially started as a joke. When he actually got the position, he knew he had to speak to a confidant before accepting, even if it did mean steady income.

            And that’s how Oliver Queen ended up on Felicity’s doorstep, this time without soft sobs and expensive jewelry. Instead, he held two cups of coffee and from the warm aroma she could tell he got her order just right.

            They’d seen each other a couple times since their love lives came to a halting stand still, keeping each other updating as much as they could and swapping old stories from the better days. It was comforting to know someone else was going through a very similar experience. The difference was, Felicity still had her job at Kord Industries.

            “Shouldn’t I be the one paying for coffee? Given that I can afford it, that is?” She still took the cup from him and let him into her house with ease. Saying no to Oliver and coffee were impossible on their own, let alone as a combo pack.

            “I got a job offer, actually.”

            “Oh my God, that’s wonderful!” She grinned, but her smile faded at his reluctance to celebrate the avoidance of eye contact. She glanced back down at the coffee and then back at him. This was comfort coffee. Oh Christ, what did he do?

            “Where is the job?” She pressed.

            “…Palmer Tech…” He mumbled.

            “WHAT? Oliver!” She placed the coffee down firmly in case her hands started vibrantly flailing as they usually did when she got angry.

            “Felicity, remember a couple weeks ago when we were joking around about my applying there for a position as EA and how that would be the only thing worse than unemployment, depression, and the absence of love?”

            “Yeah, I said those words exactly.” She gritted. “Tell me you didn’t.”

            “I was out of options!”

            “I told you I was trying to get you in at Kord Industries.”

            “And I will still gladly take that job if there is one, but I need money… And the only other option right now is becoming a stripper.”

            She knew he was kidding, but she gave him a once-over as if she was considering it. She was considering it, actually. There wasn’t much to debate. Oliver was, tall, buff, scruffy, and had blue eyes that were basically hypnotic. The man would make an excellent stripper. The only concern would be the amount of women (and men) taking off their clothes _for him._ It would get a little confusing.

            “Felicity.” He popped her brief fantasy bubble. “I’m sorry. Believe me, I am going to hate this more than anyone. I have to serve your ex-boyfriend’s every whim. Ray Palmer, total king of douchebaggery.”

            “He’s going to abuse you. He knows you’re still friends with me.”

            “And as soon as I get another job, I’m going to beat the shit out of him.”

            “Do you think you could spit in his coffee a few times?” She murmured.

            He broke out into a laugh. “I will do my best to set an all-time record.”

            She leaned back with a smile. “Thank you. I figure he can add you to the long list of people whose spit he’s had in his mouth.”

* * *

 

            Oliver’s first day at work with Ray Palmer wasn’t terrible. It was absolute hell.

            And after an entire week of working there, he was just about to go on a homicidal rampage. It was locking so much fury inside him.

            Yeah, there was no doubting the man had some kind of “nerd after high school” complex, where he felt the need to trump Oliver in just about every arena of his life. It was infuriating, but he just kept telling himself that this was only temporary and that hitting Ray would result in an even worse situation. The bitch would totally press charges.

            Instead of calling him or paging him, Ray had a little bell that he rang whenever he needed something from Oliver. Through the clear glass doors, he would wait for Oliver to sit down and then ring the bell. It would be torture if he didn’t have impressive endurance from the gym. It was still torture, because it was Ray Palmer.

            Without a doubt, the worst part of the day was the lecture he gave him at the end of the shift. One final “fuck you” before the day was done. It was a reminder to Oliver that Ray was better and he would proceed to kick him down every time he tried to get up. How the fuck did Felicity date this guy for seven years?

            “Remember when we were lab partners in junior year and you took all the credit to try and impress Laurel and show her you were smart?”

            Oliver merely grunted in response.

            “Teachers were really right. You may have gotten the good grade, but where did that really get you? If you knew a bit more about chemistry, you might be making a difference in the world. Instead, you’re bringing me coffee and feeding my dog.”

            He let out a sigh, but the more he tried to become zen, the less zen he was.

            “Merlyn was a pretty smart guy.” Ray quirked. “I mean, not like me or Felicity, but he hid his intelligence, always did his own work. You never quite compared at the end of the day.”

            The truth was, maybe Felicity was every good part of Ray. Now that they weren’t together, all that goodness was gone and he was nothing but bitter and unsatisfied despite his extreme success. He was secretly spiraling and that’s what Oliver told himself to get through the insulting daily reminders.

            “I am sorry about your fallout with Laurel, though. I heard you were going to propose, too.”

            “Yeah.”

            “I thought you guys were going to go the distance. I didn’t realize the distance was only a few hundred feet.”

            “I heard you and Felicity split. That sucks.” He returned.

            Ray’s smugness flickered and he looked down at his desk. “Yeah, she’s a good girl.”

            _Too good for you, asshole._

            “I thought I was going to marry her, but… you don’t ever marry your first love. Things don’t work that way.”

            _Maybe they would if you didn’t stick your dick into whatever you met._

“I’d never been with anyone else in my entire life. All I knew was Felicity.” He sighed. “I know it probably sounds like a dick move, but I wanted to make sure that what I had was the best it could get. That’s what I want, the best. How do you know that if you’ve been sleeping with the same girl who kept her bra on during your first time in high school?”

            Oliver was silent and although he didn’t agree with Ray, he couldn’t help but ponder the fact that he, too, had only ever been with one person in his lifetime. If he was truly going to move past this, he’d have to be comfortable with the idea of being intimate with another person. He wasn’t sure if he could handle that, the entire process of getting to know someone with the slim possibility that it could work. No, he definitely didn’t need another relationship right now, that’s for sure.

            “There are rumors that she’s moved on… Is that true? I didn’t think she had it in her.”

            She never said anything to him.

            “She could have anyone.” He defended. “She’s brilliant, kind, beautiful…”

            “Well, have _you_ moved on? You, the sports superstar, are sitting here moping. You could probably step outside and ask for sex and get it. If you can’t move on then how could she?”

            “Goodnight, Ray.”

            “Mr. Palmer.”

            “Yeah, fuck you.”

            “What was that?”

            “Fuck you, _Mr. Palmer._ ” He slammed his finger on the down button of the elevator and watched the doors shut before he closed his eyes. No job was worth this, right? He needed another and he needed one soon.

* * *

 

            “What are you doing tonight?” Sara asked as she stepped into Felicity’s living room decked out in a short party dress. She was meeting Nyssa at the club later that night to let loose after the hectic workweek. Bodybuilding was a tough industry, no doubt.

            “Party?” She replied weakly, despite her cupcake pajama bottoms and hoodie that read: MIT.

            “You’re watching _Lord of the Rings_ , aren’t you?” She nodded at the stack of Blu-ray discs.

            “ _The Hobbit_ , thank you very much. We obviously have different definitions of what constitutes a party.”

            “Is this how you’re planning on spending all of your Friday nights? You’re 24, single, and cute. This is the time to live.”

            She loved Sara, she truly did, but there was certainly awkwardness to being close friends with the sister of the person who cheated on your other friend. They just avoided all talk of the subject. Sara flipped shit when she found out Ray was cheating on Felicity, but was awful silent about the Laurel and Oliver dilemma.

            “I am living! When I was in a relationship, I never got to watch entire movie franchises in one sitting. I was always interrupted by stupid distractions-”

            “-Yeah, like getting _laid_ , which is far from stupid, mind you. In fact, I think it’s exactly what you need.”

            “I’ve never been a hook-up kind of girl and you know it. I’m weird and tend to do a lot of talking, which is only really appreciated by people I’ve known for a long time.”

            “How long has it been since you’ve had sex?”

            “…”

            “Hello?”

            “Sorry! I’m doing math.”

            “Okay, you definitely shouldn’t have to do math to figure-”

            “-About 6 months. I’m not even sure I should say that, because that barely counted because I didn’t… you know, finish.”

            “A. You and Ray have been broken up for _two_ not _six months._ That’s ridiculous. B. It doesn’t count if you didn’t come.”

            “…”

            “When was the last time you came, Felicity?”

            “Ages ago...” She groaned and tilted her head back. “He used to be really good… I’m guessing that was when I was the only person he was… you know.”

            “-Ray may have looked like a sex God, but from what you’ve said, he sounds like a “Let me come and I’ll get you later, I promise” kind of guy.”

            “He literally said that before. Oh my God, my life is sad.”

            “Yeah, it is, which is why I want to help you. Let me take you out tonight, get a few drinks in you, and find you a real nice guy to play with.”

            “But-”

            “Six. Months.”

            She huffed. “Fine. Bilbo can wait.”


	3. Fake-out Make-out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If the only issue at hand was Felicity’s need to get laid, it would be an easy fix, however, things run a lot deeper than what meets the eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is totally me and how I would be if my friends tried to have me get with a total stranger

So Felicity Smoak, who hadn’t even been to a party since her Sophomore year of college, allowed Sara, Nyssa, and Iris to wrestle her into a short, bright red dress with a sweetheart neckline. Naturally, the ensemble would be incomplete without a pair of spiky ruby heels to match.

            “You look hot!” Sara clapped. “I’ve done a good job.”

            “And girl, you rock loose curls.” Iris snapped her fingers. “It’s a nice change from your go-to, and adorable, straight ponytail look.”

            “I’d say I killed it in the makeup department.” Nyssa grinned. “You are going to slay whichever man is lucky enough to bed you.”

            Felicity almost didn’t recognize herself in the mirror. It was the amplified version of her, accentuating all of her best features in a very big way. She’d seen this person several times in her lifetime. There’d been prom, formals, and galas with Ray. It was odd that this was the first she’d be attending without him. Perhaps, it would be liberating.

            “This is going to be good for you.” Sara nudged her, obviously reading into the uncertainty on Felicity’s face. “I promise.”

            “Verdant has a lot of cute guys, Felicity.” Iris went on as they all climbed into the back of a cab. Nyssa and Sara promised to stay fairly sober for Felicity’s sake, considering they weren’t going out for a hookup. Iris would show her how to act and lead by example.

            Everyone around her chattered in excitement to see their blonde friend in action. She didn’t catch quite the same vibe as they did, feeling knots twisting in her stomach. She swore she was going to have a heart attack on the spot if this nagging anxiety didn’t leave her soon.

            Don’t get her wrong, she could probably truly use to get laid. Good sex would be a nice mind-clearing mechanism, especially with everything going on. She just never did this with anyone except Ray. All her moves extended to what he could do and liked. Besides, her trust in total strangers was about as slim as it got. She would mess it up and talk. She knew herself well enough to know this was going to go horribly.

            The first thing they did was get two drinks in Felicity, which by Iris’s estimate, would be enough to have her feeling good, but not unable to consent or know her whereabouts.

            “See anything you like?” She asked.

            “I don’t know… I’ve never… done this before.” Felicity stuttered. Great, the alcohol was only making her clumsier.

            “Oh come on, you’ve always had eyes behind those glasses. You never looked at other guys?”

            She totally looked at other guys, especially in the last year of their relationship when things were exhausting and she was the only one who was really trying. She just never considered herself capable of obtaining any of them due to the comfort bubble of being in a relationship for so long and since a young age.

            She scanned the crowd of drunk dancers and spotted a tall man with wavy black hair and gray eyes across the room. He was looking at her and even though she felt like a rusted bucket of bolts, even she could recognize that look from a mile away.

            “I think we have a winner. This is great. He’s hot. Make sure you have nothing in common and then go for it.”

            “Wait, what?”

            “If you have anything in common, you might want to build a relationship and get attached. That’s the biggest no-no of casual hookups.” Iris pointed out. “Let that happen and you’re doomed to failure and life without sex and happiness.”

            “I don’t think those things are necessarily a package deal.”

            “Were you happy this year?”

            She didn’t answer and nodded at her friend’s tough love scheme. She awkwardly moved towards the man giving her attention. She could feel Sara, Nyssa, and Iris watching her like a hawk, probably being sure she didn’t run in the opposite direction.

            “Be confident.” She whispered and plastered a smile on her face before stepping into speaking distance.

            “Hi.” He looked her up and down and she felt all the thoughts that once occupied her head pop away like bubbles.

            “Hey.” So far, so good.

            “Look at her.” Sara smiled. “Our girl is growing up.”

            “We’ve got to keep in mind, she’s never done anything like this before.” Nyssa added while handing her girlfriend a fresh drink. “She was with that guy for seven years!”

            “It doesn’t help that she was only 17. She doesn’t have the luxury of past-experience to fall back on.” Iris nodded. “I know she doesn’t see it this way, but this was all probably a good thing.”

            “You never get married to the first person you sleep with. How are you supposed to know what the rest of the world has to offer if you stay in this safe bubble? We’re just nudging her out of her comfort zone.” Sara affirmed.

            “I’m Adam.” He reached out and shook her hand.

            “Felicity.”

            “Felicity? I like that name. I like it a lot.”

            “Really?” She couldn’t come up with anything better to say. For God’s sakes, it felt like she overdosed on drugs and was now suffering the consequences of coming down of a terrible high. She was practically shaking. The neon lights that flashed through the club disguised that pretty well.

            “Really.” He laughed. “I happen to think you’re the hottest girl in here.”

            “You’re pretty hot too.” All she was really doing was twisting what he said and rephrasing the structure slightly to produce something else. She was fairly sure she was incapable of formulating her own thought process right now.

            “Do you want to go someplace quiet?”

            She glanced over at her excited friends, who were currently watching her like she was the latest high-speed chase on the news. Something told her if she went back there, she’d never hear the end of it. Plus, she refused to chicken out. How the hell was she going to snap out of this funk if she didn’t let her?

            “You’re not a serial killer, right?” What? Who the hell says that to a person they’ve just met? Then again, it was a reasonable question in the grand of scheme of things, being that he was offering to make out with her after 60 seconds of conversation.

            He chuckled, which she couldn’t decide was because he took what she said as a joke or if it was the irony that he was, in fact, a serial killer that had a particular interest in blondes and cutting off their toes.

            She watched way too much _Dexter._

            “I swear on all the dead bodies in my car that I am not a serial killer.”

            She laughed, but God, imagine if he was one and this was all just a great big chunk of irony. She should have taken benzos and skipped on the alcohol.

            “Okay.” She found herself forcing a tight smile. Even so, she pre-dialed 911 into her phone and kept it close as they left the main dance area. It was quieter in the coat closet he took her to. It was clear he’d been here many times by the precise navigation.

            He reached up to take her face in his hands and she couldn’t help but flinch. In her defense, she thought he was going to grab her neck.

            “Are you okay, there?”

            “Me? Oh yeah!” She affirmed. _Come on, Smoak. Be brave. You got this._

“Let me know if you want me to stop at any given point.” He pulled her close and they were kissing. It was… sub-par. She willed herself to close her eyes and try not to compare it to Ray.

            _What if this guy has herpes?_

_Shut-up. Please shut-up._

It wasn’t long before his hands were roaming around parts of her that hadn’t been touched in forever. She really hoped he mistook her shaking for anticipation and not pure fear of every single move. At least she could probably ease the whole “serial killer theory” out of mind.

            _What if the condom breaks? Shit, I can’t raise a child with Adam. Who the hell even is this “Adam”? Oh my God, I’m making out with a stranger. A stranger is touching my boob… and not very well either. He’s pretty decent with his tongue all things considering._

            He was starting to hike up her already short dress, she couldn’t even feel her heart at this point. His mouth was on her neck and she never wanted to squeeze her legs tighter together in her entire life.

            _What if he’s a drug dealer? Oh shit, what if he’s a criminal? I’m going to turn on the news and see this incredibly attractive man all over the- I can’t do this. Panic attack._

She quickly pushed him backwards and he stared at her in confusion.

            “I’m so sorry.” She begged. Jesus, she didn’t even know if he was the kind of guy that could take no for answer. Was she going to have to use her phone anyway? Would she be making a run for it in stilettos? Either way, she was about to throw up.

            “You can’t do this.” He breathed and she could detect a smile on his face. “I knew it.”

            “Wh-what?”

            “Mr. Palmer sent me. He wanted to check and see if the rumors were true, that you’d really moved on.”

            And that was the story of how Felicity tried and failed at casual sex, developed extreme trust issues, and threw up on her ex-fiancé’s employee’s shoes after an overwhelming panic attack.

            Not that the asshole didn’t deserve it.


	4. Stress Relief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver makes a stupid-smart decision all in the name of friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one... Don't know whether to apologize or say you're welcome?

If there was one thing Oliver knew to be true about his relationship with Laurel, even after the bitter betrayal that stood between his long-time friends, it was that he was very good at sex. He’d considered himself a performer by nature when it came to just about anything. He was the star of the football, baseball, and lacrosse team, threw the biggest and craziest parties in which he consumed the most alcohol, and produced the best public speeches for class. Ray used to use the word “show-off” when describing Oliver, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing in certain fields. One of those fields being sex. He always asked Laurel what she wanted, how she wanted it, when she wanted it. Beyond that, there was never a single moment in their relationship where he allowed himself to come before her. Neither of them came their first time (no matter how much Oliver wanted to), because he wanted it to at least be even.

            Having sex with other women wasn’t necessarily the difficult part. He knew what to do, how to do it, and how to do it more than efficiently. This one girl, Mary-Anne, literally screamed so loud that her neighbors were banging on the wall. No, the problem was the fact that Oliver yelled Laurel’s name. Every. Single. Time. Each girl was rightfully offended and soon he was left with a cold bed.

            There was also the matter that he felt nothing afterwards. He’d grunt and groan a bit during the sex, but mostly just tried to appease the women he spent his nights with. So far, he’d slept with a different woman every night (and on Wednesday and Friday he slept with two women) and couldn’t remember the last names of any of them or which night which slept over. He just couldn’t bring himself to do that again tonight. This was supposed to be liberating for him. This was supposed to show himself that he could feel okay in his own skin and just indulge in life’s natural pleasures without heartache.

            Maybe the problem was the fact that he was trying to hard to get over Laurel? It wasn’t just her. It was the loss of his life, as he knew it. He didn’t know who he was supposed to be and though he knew he wouldn’t find that person in a plethora of attractive women, he wanted to feel again. Beneath all this hopelessness and loneliness, he was a man that was his own person and undefined by a woman. He just wanted to find that while also feeling an outlet of intimacy. Evidently, fucking total strangers in his shoebox apartment was not doing the trick.

            He felt more and more like throwing up every time another left, wordless and without a single goodbye. He didn’t need that kind of coldness in his life, but he did need warmth and comfort.

            He picked up his cell-phone and dialed Felicity’s number. She was the first person to come to mind as far as warmth went. Sure, she was going through her own drama, in fact, she was probably going through a very similar cycle, but they could be there for each other.

            The phone rang twice before she picked up. “Hello?”

            “Hey, did I wake you?”

            “Oh, no! I was just… busy.”

            “Oh, God. Do you have a date? I’m sorry.” He groaned.

            “Date? No, I’m currently… uh…”

            “Self-motivating…?” He tried to find the words without sounding like a pervert. How do you ask your female best friend if she was masturbating before she answered your phone call? You don’t.

            “No!” She squeaked and he could practically see her red cheeks before his eyes.

            “I was building the Millennium Falcon out of Legos, okay? It was supposed to be a gift for my nephew, but I really needed a stress-reliever.”

            “So you picked what’s easily the most stressful toy in the entire universe? The world basically crumbles if you lose one piece.”

            “Well, I’ve always been pretty good about keeping my pieces together.”

            “The directions are cryptic too.”

            “They’re pictures! Oliver, they literally show you what you’re supposed to do.”

            “I wish everything was more like that.” He grumbled and hated himself for how depressing his tone of voice was. Felicity was going through a hard time too and was clearly experiencing stress if she ripped open her nephew’s gift and started building it at 1 am. The last thing she needed was someone bogging her down.

            “What’s wrong?” She still asked, layered with concern.

            “You know how we’ve only been with one person for our entire lives? Like, that’s it. No more sexual experiences outside of our comfort zone?”

            “Yeah.”

            “Well, I miss the comfort zone and I made that very evident for the seventh night in a row.”

            He knew her well enough to know for a fact that her hand was currently covering her mouth right now.

            “You’re sleeping with someone else?”

            “Eight someone’s.”

            “Eight? How does that even happen? I guess I just don’t get hook-up culture, which is fine, except I can’t wrap my head around going home with eight different people night after night. Like, do you waltz up to these girls and they know the deal?”

            “I believe what you’re insinuating is prostitution, which just to clarify, is _not_ what happened.”

            “Well, of course not.” She clicked her tongue. “You’re _you_. I’d be severely worried about your self-confidence if you felt the need to get a lady of the night to relieve your stresses.”

            He chuckled. “What do you mean I’m _me_?”

            “Stop it, you know you’re hot.”

            “It’s not a terrible thing to hear when you’re down. I was working for your dick-wad of an ex-boyfriend.”

            “ _Was_?”

            “Ah, yeah. I’m once again unemployed. Apparently I still have some pride left, which is good.”

            “True. Have I mentioned you’re hot?”

            “Thank you.”

            “So, is this revolving door of women going to be a continuous thing or can I feel safe that you won’t be diagnosed with any STDs any time soon?”

            “I’d say the carousel of women has been put to a rest for me. I think I’ve gotten whiplash from the whole ordeal. All I feel is unsatisfied, pathetic, and like I was trying to be someone I’m not. You know what I mean?”

            “It wasn’t for you and I totally get that. We’re both in a very vulnerable place in our lives.”

            “We can’t stay in this rut forever though, can we?”

            “Not unless we want to start looking for a bunch of cats and become old cat people.”

            “I’m more of a dog person. I just want to feel like I’m moving forward but also…”

            “Safe.” She murmured.

            “Safe.” He confirmed. “Hooking up with strangers was safe in a weird way, because I didn’t let myself feel, but now I just feel… empty. That’s not moving forward at all.”

            “I know what you mean. I can’t hook up with strangers. I know if I ever stand a shot at getting laid again, I need to let myself be a little bit vulnerable with people I don’t know, but I’m so terrified of getting hurt and it doesn’t help that Ray hired a spy to hit on me to try to get into my pants just to see if I moved on. I mean, who does that?”

            “He… What?” Oliver’s self-pity washed away and was now replaced with unbridled rage. He was now upright in bed, putting his pants and shoes on as he kept his phone crushed against his face by his shoulder. The only satisfying thought that came to mind was the fact that he was going to beat the gel off his head and it would bring a smile to his face.

            “Oliver?”

            “I’ll talk to you later.”

            “Oliver, what are you doing?” Her voice was grave.

* * *

 

            It doesn’t take him long to make his way to Ray Palmer’s. He half-expects Felicity to be there as well, trying to make a lousy attempt at defending the asshole. She’d texted him a thousand different times, all ranging from “Oliver, it’s okay, I’m fine.” To “I swear to fucking Google if you do something stupid I am NOT picking you up from the SCPD”.

            He considered wearing a disguise of sorts, but he decided he was done being a little bitch when it came to Ray Palmer. He was surprised his reign as company fool lasted as long as it did. He didn’t know whether to be proud or to kick himself for having no self-respect in the first place.

            Oliver held a pizza in his hands, giving the perfect excuse why he was knocking on the door. He walked right up to the front door and simply knocked. Part of him was surprised the man answered himself.

            “Oliver Queen? Here to beg for forgiveness? Or is pizza deliveryman the next slot on your résumé? I have to say, future employers will pride you on your diversity.”

Oliver couldn’t help but smile as he set the pizza aside. Yes, Palmer was enjoying the decline of his success, but he wasn’t the one that was going to be having fun tonight.

“No, actually I came here to deliver a small message.”

            Ray quirked a brow. “If it’s your two weeks notice, I think I already beat you to that punch.”

            “True, but not this one.” And in one swift movement, that seemed to happen in slow motion in Oliver’s head, he swung and hit Ray so hard that the larger man stumbled against the doorframe and slid to the ground.

            Oliver leaned down and grabbed him by the sweater. “Okay, you pretentious fuck, if I ever, and I mean _ever_ find out you’ve been harassing Felicity ever again, I will make sure all that money you have is going towards hospital bills.”

            Ray’s eye was already red and swelling from impact, and Oliver didn’t even notice the throbbing of his aching knuckles.

            “Is everything okay?” A shrill voice came from inside the house. Great, he even had a woman over.

            “Call the cops.” He ordered. “Tell them I’ve been attacked.”

            He must have expected Oliver to cower away and beg for forgiveness, but that’s the opposite of what happened. Instead, he shrugged and leaned against the side railing, appearing to be completely unbothered by the situation.

            “I’m pressing charges.” He tried sounding high and mighty, but he was still on the ground.

            Oliver shrugged again. “Okay.”

            “Okay? This was pre-meditated. You could get jail time!”

            Oliver rolled his eyes. “I’ll just explain to them how you hired a guy to stalk Felicity. I’m sure I’ll still get in trouble, but using corporate resources to pay a man to stalk and attempt to publically solicit sex from your ex-girlfriend? You could lose the company. That’s stalking, harassment, and fraud.” Okay, so he guessed about the “corporate payment” part, but it appeared he called Ray’s bluff, because the hardened expression on his face vanished altogether.

            Whether he liked to admit it or not, Ray was a smart man and as much as smart men don’t like being outwitted by their supposedly inferior former friend, he cared for money more like the profound Scrooge he was.

            “Fine. I’ll drop the charges.” He covered his eye. “But not until tomorrow.”

            The man was too proud not to let Oliver Queen rot in prison for at least one night. Oliver could never pinpoint why Palmer grew such an utter disdain for him, but it didn’t truly show through until he and Felicity broke up. Before that, there was just subtle recognition, so subtle that it was too difficult to explicitly address. Now, at least he had this night as a more grounded reason to hate him.

            The police came and shoved Oliver into the back of a police car. The last time he’d been in one of these was that time in college when he peed on one when caught at a party. Yeah, that was a fun story to tell the parents. Laurel didn’t talk to him for a week after that happened. He wondered if Tommy consoled her even though he was very much there too. He was the one who dared him to do it, too. He just hadn’t consumed as much liquid.

            The holding cell was bright and cold, but even though he knew tonight would be a long night, it was worth it. He meant what he said to Ray about staying away from Felicity. It was difficult to get over a seven-year relationship. It was even more difficult to get over a seven-year relationship that ended in infidelity. There was no need to make it near impossible by adding stalking and manipulation to the mix. It surprised him how much better he felt. It wouldn’t last long though. His hand was starting to ache.

            The surprises just kept rolling in when the officer on duty opened the gate to his cell.

            “There’s someone here to pick you up.”

            He rounded the corner with two officers to see none other than Felicity Smoak in the waiting area. He couldn’t gage her mindset or her emotional position on the matter, but she was here and that spoke volumes.

            “You didn’t have to do this.” He mumbled as she pulled out of the station’s parking lot. “Ray said he was dropping the charges tomorrow.”

            “You’re lucky.”

            “You still came.”

            “Yeah.”

            “You said you wouldn’t.”

            She glanced over at him. “That’s why you’re lucky.”

            “I can’t tell if you’re mad at me or not.”

            “Oh, I am. Incredibly so. You didn’t listen to me, punched my ex-boyfriend and your boss-”

            “ _Ex-boss_ now.”

            “-like some caveman and you’re walking around like you just won the lottery or got a hundred blowjobs or something.”

            “One-hundred?”

            “You’re that giddy. And it makes me _so_ mad that I feel… good about this.”

            “Yeah?

            “I shouldn’t, but I do. In fact… This is like… the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.” They must have been parked for a while, but neither had noticed.

            “Felicity, I’m sorry, but the Ray-”

            “-I fell in love with is completely gone. Yeah, I know. I’m never going back.”

            “Honestly, I think the best parts of him were you.”

            She mulled that over for a moment before gently taking his wounded hand into her hands, resting them on her lap. He no longer felt throbbing pain anymore, just comfort.

            “Just so you know, if there was a “friend of the year” award, tonight’s performance would have totally pooled all the votes in your favor.”

            “Do I get a trophy?”

            “Hmm, well, I didn’t expect the results to come in so early in the year so the trophy is not yet finished. I can, however, offer you the alternate prize of beer and a handjob.”

            He raised his eyebrows and her face turned a dark red.

            “And by _that_ , I swear I meant wrapping up your hand. I’m never going to try and be coy ever again.”

            Oliver shook with laughter. “I’ll take it.”


	5. Point of No Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In many friendships, there’s a moment or a series of moments in which one or both parties arrives at a crossroad. The crossroad gives need for action, because you can’t stay at a standstill. You either continue straight ahead and stay friends or you take a new direction entirely despite not knowing what exists over the horizon.

Neither was sure what prompted them to grab lawn chairs from storage, a case of beers, sit on top of Felicity’s building in the brutal chill of early March, and reminisce. After Felicity wrapped Oliver’s hand and alcohol was consumed, it just seemed like a decent idea. Fresh air sounded wonderful and both stood by their decision as their noses and cheeks vibrantly flushed pink.

            “ _Pretentious fuck._ ” She mused and took another sip from her can. “I like it.”

            “I thought it suited him.” He chuckled. “Not as much as I thought my foot would have suited his ass, but you take what you can get.”

            After laughing for a little while, which partially may have been extensive due to the warm alcohol that swirled in her belly, her face softened as she looked at him carefully. Her gloved hand gently stroked his arm. How he wasn’t freezing, briefly skated across her mind, but it was soon abandoned at his next sentence.

            “Do you still love him? Even after everything?”

            She paused for a moment, feeling a bit of sadness creep into her scope of feeling again, and knew she couldn’t avoid it in the presence of Oliver. He would be able to tell, even in a buzzed state of mind. She could feel his eyes bearing into the side of her head, eyeing her profile.

            “Yes.” She finally answered and tears were finding their way to the surface.

            “I still love Laurel. Even after everything.” He looked just as stricken as she felt and she squeezed his arm gently.

            “It would be kind of weird if we got over them overnight, right?” She swallowed dry air. “They were our first loves and no matter how awful everything turned out, no matter how awful some people turned out, that’s a hard thing to recover from.”

            “The best I’ve felt over the past two months was when I hit your ex-boyfriend.” He used his bottle to emphasize his point.

            “The best _I_ felt in the past two months was when you hit my ex-boyfriend. Well, it was simultaneously the best and the worst.”

            “Oh yeah?”

            She nodded. “On one hand, you did this incredibly sweet, and stupid, thing in my honor, but on the other hand, I still felt protective of him. I’ve never felt more conflicted and furious with myself. He’s terrible and totally deserved it, but it still hurts for me to say that.”

            “Hey.” He used his good hand to take hers, fingers interlocking.

            “I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

            “No, no, I’m thanking you… Even though upon reflection it’s a really shitty thank you… Anyway, I think you’re good for me. You’ve caused me to make more progress tonight than I have in over two months.”

            A glazed smile brightened the dark night. “Believe me, it was my pleasure.”

            The two were surprised they didn’t freeze to death as they continued to drink and talk while the moon slowly fell and was replaced by a light glow over the horizon. Of course, the beer eventually ran out, but conversation never did. Neither felt particularly tired either. In fact, it was like the conversation was warming their bones in a manner they hadn’t even recognized due to the serenity it offered.

            They’d transitioned to laying on the cold ground a while ago, arguing it was a better view of the distant stars that tried to break through the barrier of light that Starling City displayed.

            “Who was your first real crush?” Felicity asked, even though the question was borderline explosive for her.

            “Celebrity or real person?” He returned and the man made a good point.

            “Both.” She was greedy.

            “Okay, my first celebrity crush was… Who played Kelly Kapowski on _Saved By the Bell_?”

            “Tiffani Amber Thiessen?”

            “Yes. Her.” He grinned. “I always caught the re-runs as a kid and thought she was the shit.”

            Felicity broke out into shaking laughter that on a normal day would have caused her to question her sanity, but the irony of it all was just too good. “Mine was Mark-Paul Gosselaar.”

            “No way! You had it bad for Zack Morris?”

            “It was the hair.” She joked and there was a moment of silence. “And real-life?”

            He popped his lips. “Real-life? I’m guessing we’re talking beyond elementary school when we didn’t know the first thing about love, so I’m going to go with Jenny Matthews in 9th grade. She was the first girl I _really_ liked. I used to go out of my way to find her after cheerleading and football practice. It’s how I met Laurel, honestly.”

            “Jenny Matthews is a lesbian.”

            “I know that _now,_ thank you.”

            Felicity’s smile disappeared and she stared straight into the sky to avoid all possible chances at eye contact. It was dawning on her clustered mind that her true answer was extremely embarrassing. “Mine was you.”

            Oliver sat up immediately and looked at her. “What?”

            “Everyone liked you!” She defended, joining his level. “And I was 15! I hadn’t met Ray yet and you were so nice to me on my first day of school when I was lost. I’d just moved here from Vegas with my mom.”

            “I remember meeting you.” He nodded. “Your backpack exploded all over the place.”

            She groaned as if the memory still kept her awake at night. “I certainly know how to make a first impression, don’t I?”

            “You broke your glasses that day.”

            “Definitely not the first or last time that’s happened. They fell off my face mid-tumble. You kneeled down and picked them up for me.”

            “And then you went on this whole rant about Velma from _Scooby Doo_.” Oliver’s smile stretched ear to ear at the fond memory of meeting his long-term friend.

            “You called me cute.” She murmured quietly. She still refused to look him in the eyes, a soft blush spreading down her neck and to her chest. She bit her lip as she looked at the ground.

            “And then I met Ray.” She added.

            “And then you met Ray.” He affirmed. “And then I really met you.”

            “And now we’re friends.”

            “Now we’re friends.”

            “I have to say, if someone would have told me that you and I would be friends the longest, out of everyone in our friend-group, I would have laughed.”

            “Me too.” He agreed. “When did we even become friends?”

            “Well, you were already best friends with Tommy, dating Laurel, and good friends with Ray. I met Ray and Barry through robotics and the scholastic decathlon. Ray introduced all of us and that’s when it all started.”

            There was a moment of quiet that could only be filled by the blissful thoughts of yesterday and the simplicity of it all. No one expected Tommy and Laurel to hook up, Ray’s heart to go black, Barry to move away to Central City and to become distant at his mother’s passing, and for Oliver and Felicity to be the only ones standing behind.

           "I remember when we became friends." He chuckled. "We were all supposed to go to see  _Blink 182_ at the Beaumont Center and-"

           "Literally everyone got that flu but us." She smiled. "I remember feeling so weird about going with just you. We'd never hung out before."

           "And I remember thinking you were going to hate it and end up leaving."

           "I had a lot of fun though. With you."

           "Me too."

            “We’re best friends by process of elimination.” She chuckled. “That’s fate.”

            “I’m glad it’s you.”

            She looked at him thoughtfully. “I’m glad it’s you, too.”

            “So.” He started. “Everyone in school liked me, huh?”

            She smacked his shoulder, her face was an even deeper shade of crimson and it had nothing to do with the cold. “Stop acting like you don’t know you’re hot!”

            “As soon as you listen to your own advice!”

            Her face went blank as she turned to stare at him, momentarily enjoying the heat that radiated off his skin, because _damn it was cold out here._ However, her slowed circuits were processing his words and she couldn’t help but feel flustered.

            “You think I’m hot?”

            “Well… Yeah!” He looked at her like he just had to explain that two and two equal four, like it was a commonly known fact. It wasn’t that she thought she was ugly. She had a higher self-esteem than that. It was the idea that he thought she was, because they’d never talked about it. She’d referenced his appearance more than once in an offhand manner, but a lot of people did and they all joked about it when they were a group and not just a duo.

            “15 year old me would totally be geeking out right now.”

            “What would you tell your 15 year old self if you could say anything?”

            “Anything, huh? I’m sure you’d like a more insightful answer than a _Back to the Future_ reference.”

            “Uh, yes.”

            “Well, I’d tell her she’s worth more than she thinks she is. I’d tell her to put her needs and happiness above anything else. I’d tell her to have a boyfriend not a safety net, because otherwise, you fall and not in a good way. And you know what she would tell me?”

            “What’s that?”

            “To get up.” She said softly and gazed at him.

            “I’d tell my 15 year old self to take hold of life and never let it go, but to allow himself to be spontaneous and really step back and enjoy being young. He’d probably ask me how many women I’ve gotten with.”

            She sighed. “At least you would have something to tell him.”

            “I’d say there have been nine women and I could only remember one. And that one hurt me so bad that I thought there couldn’t be another… But, I’m tired of feeling that way, Felicity.”

            “Me too.” And both took in deep breaths of cold air, but it was Oliver who moved first. He stood up, reaching out to take her hand and pull her to her feet.

            “I’m done with heartbreak!” His voice echoed through the air.

            She followed suit and cupped her hands to project her voice. “I’m sick of being unsafe but I’m also exhausted with how careful I always am.”

            “I’m annoyed that Laurel invades my thoughts and my heart even though she’s probably currently fucking my old best friend as we speak!” Their hands never relented in grip on each other. It felt like a lifeline in a sense while they released their troubles to the world, yelling exactly what crossed their minds.

            “I hate that Ray Palmer is still wedged under my skin like the parasite he’s become.”

            “I’m terrified it’s not going to get better than this!”

            “I’m just… afraid!” was Felicity’s final, but poignant shout into the heavens or hell.

            Oliver finally allowed his voice to drop in volume. “I don’t know what to do, but I have to do something.”

            Loud silence fell between them.

            “Oliver…” His name lingered on her lips and suddenly an overwhelming conglomerate of feelings struck the breath out of her. She wondered if he was feeling the same strangeness too, because he was tense and his fists were clenched. His eyes screamed months of hurt, loneliness, confusion, and anger. What shined through brighter than anything else, which she was positive burned within her at the same intensity, was frustration of the sexual nature.

            It wasn’t that they were seeing each other in a new light, but that they were just realizing how alike and together they were right now. They were walking side-by-side in the pits of loneliness and attempting to shoulder these feelings alone or through words instead of taking any sort of action to solve it. For the past couple months, neither had been truly living. Instead, they made weak-attempts at recovery that weren’t right for them. In truth, they were both two heartbroken, lonely people that were carrying too much to handle on their own and needed an outlet.

            “Felicity.” He whispered. Wordlessly, he took her face in his hands and his icy hands should have made her shiver, but instead they only eased the heat that she hadn’t realized was rising through her. A million thoughts ravaged her brain, telling her to move back, screaming to break through the barrier to question her sanity. Her sensible brain did nothing, because even as she leaned in, the greater part of her knew that there was no going back. The moment their lips touched, everything would blur and fade into oddness and potential loss. They shouldn’t have even considered this, but alcohol and heartbreak take a toll on the mind especially as one unit.

            That didn’t stop the sigh of contentment that escaped her throat when his warm mouth hesitantly covered hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you guys know what comes next... (;


	6. Uncharted Territory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the best decisions start as bad ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forewarning: This chapter is proudly stamped rated "E".

            All previous reservations were long forgotten, at least for the present moment, while Oliver and Felicity clumsily made their way down the steps. They made the unspoken, consecutive decision to abandon the empty case of beer along with the lawn chairs, for their hands were more than busy trying to feel their way around to Felicity’s place in addition to grabbing at each other with every free opportunity given to them.

            It was surprising that the duo didn’t tumble down the stairs, considering how glued their mouths were to each other. Currently, they stood in the stairwell, Felicity plastered against a wall as their tongues participate in a battle, one of which both fight valiantly. His hands pressed firmly into her hips, applying pressure to keep her against the cool wall while she pulled him impossibly closer by the back of his neck, letting her nails drag along the Goosebumps that pop there.

            His large hands slid around her hips and down to grab her ass, encompassing them with his grip. Her gasp caused her to break the kiss, but it didn’t delay him in the slightest as he slid to the crook of her neck. Her back arched when his scruff dragged across the landscape of her skin, leaving sparks of fire in its wake. She tilted her head back and stared at the white ceiling, giving him more access and trying to steady her breaths.

            Oh, how different this was than her experience at Verdant. This was different though. She felt her stomach twinge in anticipation, not fear, because this was Oliver. Oliver wasn’t going to hurt her.

            She was still utterly confused how _this_ was even happening. It was a clusterfuck of a situation from an outside perspective. One moment they were shouting off rooftops about recent heartbreak and now the two previously platonic-only friends, who’d never so much as chastely kissed, attacked each other’s faces like prey at feeding time. It felt like two people surrendering to the power of vitality. She felt like she could really breathe again even though her lungs worked in overtime to sustain life. The sweltering sensation that danced across her entire body, inside and out, was only growing by the minute and his skin burned brighter than hers. No one could think they spent their entire night in thirty-degree weather.

            Oliver already felt himself hardening and used an ounce of conscience thought to realize they couldn’t continue much longer in the empty stairwell. People would be waking up shortly and heading to work. No one probably wanted to start the day with an unordered porno. He sliped his hands beneath her thighs, murmuring something about asking her to trust him on her swollen lips.

            “Your hand.” She was, of course, talking about his battle wound from last night.

            “I’ve got you.” He muttered.

            She only nodded in response but a guttural moan vibrated through her throat as he hoists her up and wraps her legs around his waist.

            She squeezed herself to him, initiating a moan of his own. Denim met Khaki with a budding friction as she rubbed downwards across the button his pants. Felicity felt a brief flush of embarrassment, as she was fairly sure she’d soaked through her jeans. Oliver had his own pants-related problems, because the more she moved, the more he screamed to be freed from the confines of his tightening clothes.

            Felicity hadn’t even realized how painfully long her dry-spell had been until this very moment, feeling the weight of desire attacking all her senses at once. The blurs of motions she saw when she opened her eyes at the feeling of mobility, the smell of soap, sweat, and beer that clouded her nostrils, the taste of saliva and remnants of alcohol mixing between them, the brush of his scruff continued to radiate an unspeakable reaction from within, and the soft frustrated grunts and groans he made metaphorically opened her eyes.

            They’d never seen each other so vulnerable before, even at their lowest moments. Once they enter the threshold of her apartment, they’ll know each other in ways they’d never imagined.

            Oliver carefully set her down and her legs distinctly felt like jello and her mouth is already bruised from being extensively plastered against his equally swelled lips. She immediately dug into her pocket for her keys and admittedly thrusts her fist in the air upon finding them, earning a jagged chuckle from Oliver. He was attempting to dial back a bit and couldn’t bear to focus on cuteness, no matter how tempting. He had half a mind to spin her around and strip her down right there, but even in such a rushed state, he knew patience was warranted.

            The only thing he noted was that her shades were down, making her place exceptionally coated in darkness. They fumbled through the door and the moment they were sealed inside the corridor, Oliver slips off his jacket and tosses it in a direction he’s unsure of. He didn’t have a second to think much on it, for Felicity hurried forward and took capture of his mouth with her own. He unzipped her coat with haste and tore it off her shoulders. She guided him backwards into whichever domain she desired him in. He didn’t dwell on how odd it was to think of Felicity desiring him anywhere, just that this was a moment specifically written for them and that for once, he didn’t feel that nagging guilt and lack of fulfillment. Extra articles of clothing such as socks, shoes, sweatshirts, and belts were haphazardly discarded in the madness of their passion.

            She tripped and they stumbled and fell against the couch. Her fall pushed her directly against his groin, which at this point was noticeably agitated by the constriction along with its lack of attention. She glanced down in realization before increasing the pressure against him. Moving them against the couch.

            “Felicity.” He growled against her mouth. Her blood pressure spiked at the way her name rumbled in his throat.

            He snuck a hand between her legs and began massaging her through her pants, using the rough denim to his advantage, inching her higher and closer to where she needed to be. She bit down on his lip at the movement and he groaned. His heart pounded at how he could feel her heat through her pants and began to push them into a standing position. They turned and stumbled through walls and pieces of furniture, knocking unknown objects to the ground with a series of thuds.

            They burst through a door, which was evidently her bedroom, and blindly searched for the bed.

            If it made any sense, the room smelled like her. He couldn’t pinpoint the aroma, but it was pleasing and soft much like her. Again, soft rose petals and vanilla were far from the most central part of his thought process.

            He felt the back of his legs hit the edge of her bed and stopped in his tracks to steady them. He released his grip on her to grab his t-shirt and yank it over his head. She didn’t stare at him, mainly because it was difficult to gather much of a view in pitch black. Instead, she reached out and grabbed him by the waistband of his pants and unbuttoned and unzipped them. He felt himself breathing in temporary relief as his member had more room to be free.

            Oliver’s pants fell to the ground so all that was guarding him was his loose boxers. He didn’t move to remove them yet and instead swiftly pulled Felicity’s shirt over her head and onto the floor. She worked her own pants off and kicked them to the side. He leaned forward and immediately cupped her heaving breasts through her bra, kneading them and sloppily sucked the crook of her neck, a trail of wet bites making their way around her column. She hums at this and let her fingers scratch his back, attempting to gain some sort of grounding in the heat of it all.

            When her bra was discarded, there wasn’t any awkwardness, as both might have expected. He didn’t really look at her, but let his fingers see for him. Her fingers gripped the sides of his boxers and yanked them down and off in a quick flick of the wrists. It was evident that her patience was dwindling thin and he couldn’t agree more. He pushed her backwards so that she was laying flat on the surface of her bed, likely reveling in the chilled cotton sheets. She leaned over to what he presumed to be a nightstand and reached into the drawer. Her hand emerged with a crinkling object that’s promise made his mouth water and his cock twitch.

            He reached up her smooth legs and gently spread them when his hands stroked her thighs. His hand found the soaked fabric and she lifted herself off the mattress to allow him access to slide them down.

            He didn’t hesitate in climbing on top of her, hissing at a particular point where his dick glided against her inner thigh. She breathed heavily beneath him and he was positive they were in sync with one another. She absently wondered how she hadn’t burst into flames yet.

            She parted her legs for him, but was still surprised when his hand strokes her. She shivered and made some failed attempt at conversation, but he cut her off by fusing their recently acquainted mouths. His thumb swirled circles into her swollen clit as two fingers delved into her core. She was so slick and soft that he almost lost himself right there. She eagerly rocked against his hand while he increased his degrees of motion on her clit, tapping and massaging almost rhythmically.

            She lurched forward and shoved her tongue into the back of his mouth while reaching downward for him, taking him in her grasp. She swallowed his crackled outcry and moved him towards her.

            He removed his fingers from her and looked into her eyes for the first time since they’d begun taking each other by storm. His eyes were adjusted to the twilight room and could see hooded and poignant lenses staring back at him. She handed him the wrapper and he uses his teeth to tear it open.

            He raised the condom to his tip and closed his eyes as she meticulously rolled it on. He lined himself up with her entrance and silently waited for her approval.

            She shook her head in confirmation and he eased himself into her at an excruciatingly slow rate. When his tip entered her sleek opening, he swore stars were bursting in front of him. And yet all he could think about was the fact that this was _Felicity._ Then all he could think about was the fact that it being her didn’t sway his need to further his movement. His mouth fell open as she drew her legs closer around him. He spluttered and remembered that relief had not yet been achieved.

            The moan that shook through her being only escalated as he deepened his descent within her. Her toes curled as his sweaty chest collided with hers, gripping the sheets with all her might.

            “Ah…” She inhaled through her nose.

            Oliver’s careful thrust felt like the most sensational torture she’d ever endured. She could feel him throbbing with her as he crawled, prolonging the sexual frustration that so heavily captivated them for months. This was an outlet and she needed him to fully plug in for God’s sakes. She raised her legs and linked them around his waist, finishing the slide of motion and hitting her g-spot.  

            The moment he filled her entirely, he pulled himself almost completely out before shoving forward full force. The shout she omitted shook him to the point where he almost lost his balance and bumped against her nose. Turning his focus to the task at hand, he found a steady flow of motion and continued to pound into her, each cycle of movement pushing her entire body upward and making her mouth fall open as he rubbed against her. She raised her hands above her head and pushed down in order to keep her head from hitting the wall.

            He rearranged their positioning by kneeling and raising her right leg so his length reached her g-spot whenever he angled into her.

            “Oliver-” She mewled and followed with a series of garbled noises that meshed with his own. It was a rollercoaster of buildup. Slowly, it heightened, breaths increasing, bed squeaking amplified, and prickling sparks developing into wildfires. The internal bubble within them swelled to maximum capacity.

            All other thoughts suddenly started screaming in her ears like a cacophonous symphony and she bit down on her lower lip to try and run there. She was running to the top, the finish line full-speed ahead. She raised her hips to meet his and could see by the way the veins in his arms popped that he was restraining himself.

            She stared straight at his intensity and felt herself heighten.

            “Yyyes!” And when he swung forward for good measure, her muscles tensed and it felt as if she was detonating like a fusion bomb. Her body felt a deafening wave of tingles wash over her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. The angst and frustration was gone and all she could feel was the emotional and physical equivalent of rainbows and fluffy clouds. She was throbbing around him as he, too, came and let out the only thing that could have brought her back to reality from the daze she’d just encountered.

            He shouted her name and she watched him have his moment in the sun with a smile etched across her face. After essentially becoming a noodle like her, he leaned down, still inside her and they were just breathing and gazing in blank wonder. Oliver smiled down at her, and for a moment he contemplated on kissing her.

            Instead, he slid out of her and collapsed beside her body, sated and happily sore.

            It took a second for the previous events to set into full-effect, as they lay motionless and silent beside each other.

            “Oh my God.” They both said at the same time.


	7. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is physically impossible to have hot sex with your friend without getting a little weird afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun slipping little pieces of the Arrowverse in here whether it be in the form of vague reference or blatant nods to the world we've come to know and love. Enjoy!

            The two laid with about a foot of bed space between them, on their backs, and silent for about five minutes post-coital. No words were exchanged, because honestly where does one even begin? Felicity didn’t even have the strength to look over at Oliver in fear of igniting an uncomfortable, yet inevitable conversation that had to go down if they wanted to preserve any portion of the friendship they once had.

            What even got into them? Well, she knew what got into _her_ , but she just couldn’t pinpoint where they’d ever gotten on the grounds of having sex. It wasn’t just the fact that they’d done it, but it was _how good it was._ Despite the mortification she partially felt, a broad smile was battling to capture his face once again. She imagined she looked like a psychopath beside him, fighting between confusion, satisfaction, and annoyance.

            When had he ever looked at Felicity Smoak in a sexual manner? He’d thought she was attractive, but it was always a fleeting thought. He’d never felt so mixed between self-loathing and relief in his entire life. He tried to write it off to the fact that he’d just had sex, but this wasn’t just sex. This was sex with a girl he’d been friends with since he was 16. This was a girl that he’d watched turn into a woman and prepare to marry one his former friends. This was a girl that he cared for and wanted in his life for a long time. How could he put all that at risk for a quick release?

            She glanced at her clock to see that it was 6:30 am.

            “I, uh, have to get ready for work.”

            He sat up and climbed to the edge of the bed to grab his underwear and pants off the floor before slipping them on. She blindly reached for her clothes as well and silently dressed herself in a t-shirt and pants before opening the curtains to let light in. A shirtless Oliver was in her line of sight and God, he was good-looking and she suddenly began to wonder why she’d never sexualized him more in their time of knowing each other.

            He threw a t-shirt over his head and nodded at her before turning to leave the room. Maybe it was best if they did this without goodbyes.

            “Wait!” She closed her eyes as she blurted the word. She didn’t know why she spoke. Usually, her talking did _not_ alleviate any discomfort from a situation.

            Still, he stopped in his tracks and turned around to face her. Her hair was in a messy ponytail with strands floating around in the golden sunlight, makeup was smudged, and her arms were crossed over her stomach in a manner of insecurity. He wanted to tell her he’d gotten to experience first-hand why she shouldn’t be unsure of herself, but just silently waited for her to speak.

            She panicked and pointed to his shoes. “You can’t walk around in March with bare feet.”

            He paused before bending over to pick up his shoes and then disappearing through the doorway. When the front door opened and closed, she threw her head back in frustration.

            “Fuck.”

            Oliver leaned against her door and closed his eyes.

            “Fuck.”

* * *

 

            A very exhausted Oliver continued on with his day busily analyzing the night before. He needed to iron this out with someone, because he wasn’t notorious for making excellent decisions on his own. Ironically enough, the person he’d typically talk to about something like this was the person he’d spent his night with.

            He knew he had to mend the fence with her. There was no way around an uncomfortable confrontation. It saddened him that it was very likely that one night possibly unraveled years of budding friendship. At least it was an excellent one night.

            “You look like you need a drink, kid.” A thick, familiar accent rang through his ears and he looked up from the machine he was absently working at and met the dark eyes of none other than Slade Wilson.

            Oliver grinned and shook his head. “I need a whole lot more than a drink, man.”

            “Oh yeah? I think I got just the thing.” The dark-haired was dressed in his usual apparel of an orange t-shirt and black basketball shorts. Oliver quit teasing him about it long ago when Slade first flipped him over against the mat and almost broke his back. Yeah, respect was earned in the weirdest ways at the Flecha Gym.

            They climbed into the ring, gloves placed firmly on their hands, the binds of the leather feeling good against Oliver’s skin. He clenched his fists and let out a deep breath, a technique he’d learned a while ago.

            There was no doubting Slade Wilson’s strength, but labeled as a “troubled-youth” by his father at age eleven, Oliver was no stranger to the fighting game. He’d been trained specially by his grandfather’s old friend from the military, Yao Fei. He'd shown Oliver how to fight like a warrior and how to earn respect. Oliver told his friends he was simply attending karate lessons, but it was much more than that. He learned respect and control during his lessons with him and had Yao Fei to owe for everything, for being the father Robert Queen never was.

            Slade was no stranger to Oliver’s skills. Years ago, when he’d knocked him on his back, Oliver retaliated to the strongest degree, throwing him against the cement wall and breaking his arm. They’d been friends ever since and have taken to boxing instead of regular sparring, because it lessened the likelihood that someone was seriously going to get hurt. Instead, they would only duke it out until the other hit the ground and allow everyone in the gym to make bets on them. Yes, this was one of the few places Oliver felt home. It was one of the few things that wasn’t taken away from him during his breakup with Laurel.

            “So-” Slade wasted no time in coming at Oliver. “Who is she?”

            “What?” Oliver dodged his attack and took his own missed swing.

            “You heard me. Who is she?” He demanded again, following Oliver around the ring.

            “What makes you think the problem is a “she”, huh?” He got a small jab in, but nothing that would make Slade flinch let alone afflict damage.

            “Have you taken a liking to boys all of a sudden?” He rammed him against the metal pole, but Oliver squirmed free and shoved him away.

            “No.”

            “Well, then, who is she? I know we’re not talking about Laurel. That would just make you bloody stupid.” BAM, a hit to the head.

            Oliver shook his head and began bouncing once again. “I’m not talking about Laurel. It’s not really a romantic thing-” He tripped Slade and slugged him across the face.

            “Playing dirty, are we?”

            “Aren’t we always?” Oliver punched him in the chest, grimacing at the memory of his hurt hand.

            “Got a limp hand, do you?” Slade grinned before punching the hand away, making Oliver scowl.

            How’d he forget that he’d possibly broken his hand from punching Ray Palmer in the face?

            “I thought you knew how to punch better than that.”

            He sighed. “Unbridled rage kind of took away my focus.”

            “Wouldn’t be the first time. Won’t be the last.”

            “Oh yeah?”

            “Well-” Slade swung and missed twice. “I’d say you’re especially aggravated today. Your head’s not on straight.”

            “I can still fight.” Oliver launched himself against his friend, clocking him in an uppercut that made blood squirt from his mouth.

            He backed away for a moment too long and Slade charged.

            “Really?” He punched him in the stomach and then slammed his head down so Oliver hit the ground with a thud. “Because you left yourself wide open.”

            Oliver groaned, face down on the mat as he heard a couple of onlookers complain, “the show wasn’t as good as it normally was” and “Queen is losing his touch”. He wasn’t even in pain, just frustration.

            “C’mon, kid, get up.” Slade reached down and pulled Oliver up with one tug. They walked out of the ring. “I know it’s got to be bad if you were down in under two minutes.”

            “I just feel like I’m losing everything.” He sighed. “Laurel, my friends, my job-”

            “First of all, kid, you didn’t _lose_ Laurel. She traded you in for a different model. That’s not your fault. Secondly, your friends went with her and that’s pretty shitty too. As for the job, I thought you took a new one.”

            “It didn’t work out.” He rolled his eyes thinking of stupid Ray Palmer and felt his hand throb from the pain it brought him. Of course, such a thought drifted to his letting Felicity patch him up, and then hung out after, which led to an entire different means of hanging out.

            “Ah, so that’s how that happened to your hand.”

            “Do me a favor and never buy anything from Palmer Tech.”

            “I’m more of a Kord Industries kind of guy, anyway.”

            He couldn’t help but think of how Felicity was probably there now, wishing she’d never brought him into her apartment last night, worrying over the fate of their friendship in the same way he was. Okay, maybe she wasn’t duking it out with gym buddies, but he imagined she was doing the tech equivalent of that. Maybe she was coding?

            “I know it’s not working at a big fancy corporation, but it’s something. Whaddaya say I take you on here as a trainer?”

            Oliver’s face lit up. “Really? I don’t have any experience-”

            “You’re the second best fighter at this gym, Queen. Second to me, of course.”

            “Please.” He rolled his eyes. “I beat you more than you beat me.”

            “Don’t make me break your other hand, kid.” He chuckled. “You’ll be working with the other new hire, a bloke named John Diggle, ex-military. He might give you a run for your money.

            “Thank you so much, Slade. I owe you.” He shook his hand and squeezed it before Slade looked at him curiously.

            “Now that I’m your boss. I own you.”

            He rolled his eyes. “I didn’t realize I was starting this moment.”

            “Whatever. So, tell me. How bad did you fuck up?”

            “I hooked up with someone I probably shouldn’t have.”

            “Laurel’s sister?”

            “No!” Oliver shook his head. “No, just a close friend.”

            “I imagine you too are particularly close if you somehow got to that type of bonding.”

            “Honestly, the problem isn’t that we can’t recover from this. That’s what I thought about all morning. We’ve been close long enough and were drunk enough where I think we’d be okay.”

            “So, what’s the issue?”

            “I don’t want to stop. I don’t want to be in a relationship, but I don’t want to hook up with random girls.”

            “So, don’t.” Slade shrugged. “Simple. God, I should be a therapist.”

* * *

 

            Work was especially tiring when you spent the entire night getting the brains fucked out of you by your (former?) friend. There was also the weight of distraction said activities pushed on her. She finally managed to get herself on task when a buzzing came from her cell phone. She looked down to see her friend Curtis had texted her.

            Curtis: Oliver Queen is here. Just a heads up.

            Felicity: How’d you know I needed a heads up?

            Curtis: You don’t hear yourself talk sometimes, do you?

            Okay, maybe he was talking about how when they were at lunch and Caitlin mentioned something about an “olive” in her salad and Felicity had been so distracted that she panicked and dove under the table. Then, when someone was talking about the royal family, Felicity began hurried looking around when someone brought up the “Queen”. She was a mess.

            She continued her streak of maturity by diving under her desk in a last stitch attempt to keep herself away from facing the inevitable weirdness that was going to be talking to Oliver. She’d had all morning to think about it, but every time she did, she just found herself reminiscing the good stuff about last night. Truthfully, it had been mostly good. It was just the fact that it was good with Oliver and that they were both emotionally unready for a serious relationship at the moment. Also, they weren’t in love. Nope. Just really stupid.

            It was rare she admitted to being stupid.

            “Ms. Smoak?” Dammit, Mr. Kord was buzzing her. She grunted and reached to grab her phone off the hook.

            “Hello?”

            “Hi. There’s a Mr. Queen here specifically for you with a tech question. Where are you?”

            “Um…” She really didn’t want to have to say. “I’ll be right there.”

            She’d at least hoped that Oliver wouldn’t be in the room yet when she crawled from under her desk, but low and behold, he watched as she slowly rose.

            She cleared her throat, trying to calculate the perfect thing to say to someone you shouldn’t have slept with.

            “Hey buddy.” Again, she panicked and felt how weird that was of her.

            “Hey.”

            “You look sweaty.”

            “I am.” He shrugged. “Not the same sweat from earlier.”

            “Oh. Well, if it were, I’d be worried about your glands.” Oh dear God someone save them from this terrible conversation.

            “Want to go to lunch?” He closed his eyes, clearly done with talking about sweat.

            She hated herself for dreading this so much. It was occurring to her that maybe the fear of losing Oliver as a friend wasn’t the only part that troubled her. She _really_ liked last night it would always burn as a memory in her mind. She’d hooked up with someone, done the dangerous, even if it was with someone she absolutely trusted. Maybe that was it. She trusted him and knew he wouldn’t hurt her or be a serial killer. She didn’t have any other straight, attractive, willing guy friends like that.

            When they got to the street, she was careful to place distance between them as they walked side-by-side. He had his hands in his pockets and his eyes remained trained on the ground.

            “We aren’t actually doing lunch are we?” She asked after they’d been walking to probably nowhere for about five minutes. She wasn’t really hungry anyway, just anxious.

            He stopped walking and looked up into her eyes. “We need to talk about last night.”

            She nodded. “You’re right. It was weird and we should never do it again.”

            “Felicity-”

            “-And yeah things are going to be a little weird for a while, because you know, I’ve seen you naked now. Well, actually, I haven’t really seen you naked. I’ve seen half of you naked, but the lower portion is still a topographical mystery to me. Granted, I think I could make an educated guess based off of feeling, but if you died and the only part of you left was your penis, I couldn’t-”

            “-Felicity!” He tried again.

            “-Oh man, I am definitely making this weirder. What I’m saying is, you’ve been inside me, which was really nice. Like, it was really really nice. I came, you came. I can’t remember the last time I could say that.” Her words moved faster than her mind and she wished they’d shut up. “Well, I’ve never said it to you before, because that would be weird being that we’ve never done that before last night-”

            “Fe-li-ci-ty.” He physically reached out and covered her mouth.

            “Last night was great.”

            She nodded against his hand. “Mhm.”

            “You were the only person I’ve never said Laurel’s name to in bed. And you trusted me! You didn’t get scared.”

            He could feel her smile forming to his touch and it was contagious.

            “We’re good friends, right?”

            “Mhm.” He wasn’t moving his hand and she didn’t blame him. It was best to keep that thing caged sometimes. She wished she had the decency to cover her mouth when she began spewing crap like that.

            “And I think we’ve proven in the last two months that we can handle anything.”

            She nodded again.

            “And… We’ve tried doing everything the right way for so long and sure it was satisfying, but it left us heartbroken, because we didn’t give enough time for ourselves to grow as people. Then, we tried pulling a 180 and doing things the wrong way and that left us unsatisfied, because we were doing things with people who didn’t give a shit about us and likewise.” He shook his head. “I’m tired of feeling both of those things.”

            He was pretty sure she muttered “Me too” against his hand.

            “So, maybe there’s a way we could meet in the middle.”

            “Mmpf mike ma mimety memree.”

            He laughed before removing his hand. “What was that?”

            “Like a ninety-degree.”

            “Yes, exactly. I think we can have it both ways and help each other out. We’ll rebuild our confidence with each other, focus time that would be spent in a relationship on ourselves, and it’ll be a healthy amount of sex.”

            “Oh my God, you’re serious about this!” Though she didn’t sound too opposed to the idea herself. Felicity wasn’t sure if she’d ever suggest this, but maybe this was the boost in confidence she needed.

            “Felicity, we’re both rebounding pretty hard right now. That’s not going to be fair to some other guy and girl that want something else, something we can’t give them. We’re best friends and we can stop this whenever we feel like it, but right now, I really think it’s a good idea.”

            “To have lots of sex and stay just friends?”

            “You even admitted how fun last night was. I thought it was stupid too at first, but I don’t want to stop. I felt really good afterwards.”

            “And during.” Her grin was cheeky. “It would help me take my mind off things and put them on more useful realms.”

            “Like getting your own company.”

            “I don’t know if-”

            “You can and I’m going to help you… Well, not directly, because I have no idea how to run a technological empire, being that I was the VP and basically handled the negotiation ends of things, but with stress, lack of focus, low self-esteem, I’ll be there.”

            She broke out into a grin. “No one’s tried this hard to get into my pants since senior prom.”

            “I’ll take it up a notch, then.”

            He got down on one knee, scaring every bone in her body before flashing her a notorious and knowing grin.

            “Felicity Smoak, will you be my sex-buddy?”

            In spite of the brief moment of horror that unreasonably controlled every fiber of her being, she felt herself outwardly laughing and looking around at all the confused people that likely thought a different conversation was taking place. She couldn’t believe this was happening. 24 hours ago she was crying on her bathroom floor due to the anxiety of being fooled by the man she used to love and now she was setting plans to consistently get laid.

            She knew it was probably a terrible idea. Being friends was the smarter course of action, just friends, that is. Sex was a can of worms that had a tendency to ruin people if a strong foundation wasn’t built. Oliver and she did have a strong foundation, though. It proved to be better than that between she and her ex. Also, the can was already opened…

            Felicity had seen the movies before. 2011’s slew of sexually-charged-buddies themed movies showed her that. Friends with benefits never worked out, because it was a toxic situation. Someone was bound to catch feelings or lose the friendship aspect of it along the way.

            Still, this was Oliver and she spent her entire life playing it safe. She’d done everything correctly and deserved to have fun. He deserved that too.

            “Yes.” She grabbed his hands and pulled him off the ground before anyone they knew walked by and saw the entire exchange.

            “Yes?”

            “Yes.” She shook her head at him before pointing a finger against his chest. “But there has to be rules.”

            He stared at the finger that pressed firmly into her chest and then back at her with sultry eyes.

            “Okay. How long do you have for lunch?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the positive feedback! It really means a lot.


	8. Golden Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rules you should definitely follow if you're considering hooking up with a long-term friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another longer chapter! I kind of figured that out of the two of them, Felicity was more likely to be excited about establishing definitive rules that are designed to be followed.

            “Wow…” Felicity reached to smooth her hair back as she struggled to catch a proper grip on oxygen intake. Oliver didn’t attempt to make audible recognition of her obvious contentedness and instead radiated against her, bright eyes twinkling in equal euphoria.

            “You’re really… good at that.” Although, if she was being honest, his talents certainly didn’t need verbal validation. She showed plenty of appreciation a couple moments ago as she crossed over her peak and into the oblivion.

            “I take pride in my work.” He gently set her feet down to the ground and moved to zip the front of his pants.

            She’d never done it in a public bathroom before, but she’d walked in on people doing it in public before. Did no one have the slight courtesy to lock the door? She used to roll her eyes at people like that and never understand why no one could just wait until they got into the confines of their own space, but now she had a slight change in perspective. She wasn’t becoming an expeditionist by any stretch, but she could now see the appeal.

            She carefully pulled her underwear up and smoothed down her dress and then carefully looked in the mirror to be sure she didn’t look like _Jungle Jane_ before going back to work.

            “I look like I got in a fight with a tumbleweed.”

            Oliver threw her a lopsided grin. “Just so we’re clear, I was all for simply discussing rules over lunch.”

            She shook her head at him, but couldn’t deny the smile that bewitched her as well.

            “Yeah, sure you were. Is that why you lifted me against the door? Because you wanted some time to think about your order?”

            “Hey, _you’re_ the one who pulled me into this bathroom in the first place.”

            “You literally said “Felicity, the bathrooms here are huge” the moment we walked in.”

            “In case you needed space to freshen up!”

            She rolled her eyes as he held the door for her, making a grand gesture for her to go first. She followed suit and walked into the restaurant, trying not to appear like someone that just had sex in the bathroom. It was a hard look to downplay when it was an honest one. No one looked at her, but she imagined their thoughts were different.

            “Whatever you say. Tonight, we are going to talk rules whether you like it or not.” She poked his chest and his eyes darkened again.

            “You really like that, don’t you?” She was asking from a more curious place than a sexual one, because for some reason his turn-ons fascinated her like science. It was even more interesting that she got to experiment on him now.

            Okay, that flared a heat in her stomach.

            He cleared his throat. “You have work, and I have to get gym clothes for my new job.”

            “Oh my God, you got a job? Why didn’t you tell me?”

            “We were a little busy, wouldn’t you say?”

            Her ears turned scarlet as her cheeks dimpled at the reminder. “Right… That is great though. Where are you working? I’m presuming a gym since that’s exactly what you said.”

            “I’ll tell you more about it tonight.” He nodded.

            “Great. It’s a not-date.”

            “Thank you for clarifying?”

            “Well, what else am I supposed to call it?”

            “A… _meeting._ ” His lips rose devilishly as he backed away from her and walked in the opposite direction. Felicity experienced an assortment of sensations, as she was now alone on the sidewalk. Kord Industries could be seen in the near distance, and she was already practicing her stride of pride without appearing _too_ prideful.

            When she saw her reflection, she smiled at the confidence in her step. Yeah, she was totally pulling this off. No one was going to know about her fresh affair with Oliver Queen, former VP of the competing company. Her life would stay the same, just relatively lighter. There was no weight on her as there was that morning. She didn’t have to be worried about a lost friendship added to the mix of the previous discontinuity that was her life. Now, there was something more. She didn’t have to worry about upholding a relationship and could reap the benefits of one all in a big sweep. It was like getting a quick fix, but healthier. She felt like she had the whole world in her hands.

            “So, how was the sex?” Curtis asked, not looking up from his paperwork as she walked past his desk.

            She stopped dead in her tracks, so abruptly that she stumbled and completely fell against the wall. Well, if there’s one thing she was sure of, she certainly wasn’t capable of entering _American Ninja_.

            Her instant reaction was to burst into an uncomfortable attempt at nonchalant laugher. She waved a hand at her knowing coworker.

            “Pfft sex? Who had sex?”

            His grin only stretched in amusement. “You did.”

            “If by sex you mean I had a very enjoyable lunch with a friend, then yes, I had an orgy.”

            “Okay, what’d you have?”

            “Food-wich… Sand-food. Oh my God, I had a sandwich.”

            “Very convincing.”

            She paused and looked both ways before sitting in the empty chair near his desk, glancing over all the various pieces of crumpled up paper near his desk. She and Curtis were friendly, but they weren’t necessarily _friends_. No one really talked to her when she dated Ray Palmer, CEO of an opposing company. Business was cutthroat and everyone feared she was simply getting intel on the newest technology. This couldn’t be more false, of course. One thing Ray held fairly true was he never put her in that position. She wanted her own success and got that by being head of the IT department.

            “Have you ever had a friends with benefits kind of deal?”

            “Hell yeah, but none that looked like _him._ ” She swore the man was drooling.

            “And how did they work out?”

            “Let’s put it this way, I’m married.”

            “To your sex-buddy?” She panicked.

            “God, no! I’ve had three of them and they all end the same way. I got feelings, he got feelings, everything exploded and I’ve never seen them again.”

            A different sort of panic rose in her chest. “I’m not looking for either of those things to happen.”

            “Then, you need to lay down the law. As long as you can avoid the feels, you’ll be fine.”

            “One more question.”

            “What’s that?”

            “How does one dress for a meeting with your sex-buddy?”

* * *

 

            Curtis told Felicity not to dress up. It was more important that she was comfortable and her hair looked nice. Light but minimal makeup was recommended. Just to dress as she normally would.

            Oliver was late, but then again that was Oliver Queen. Back in high school, his mother set all his watches back an hour and he was still an hour late. Not so in his defense, but the man refused to wear a watch. In the day and age of cell phones this wasn’t that big of a deal, but before that he never knew what time it was.

            “I didn’t know if I should bring anything.” Oliver shrugged as he stood at her doorstep in a leather jacket and jeans. He rode his bike over, which was incredibly attractive in a general sense of the world. She could never ride one, given that she had the coordination of a fish out of water, but when other people did it, it was like a spontaneous, legal, rebellious side. “I’m assuming all we’ll need is pen and paper anyway.”

            “Kinky.” She smirked as he walked by her into the familiar apartment. A smile crossed his lips at the brief arrays of visions that danced upon his mind. Images of heavy pants and determined hands washed before him.

            “I’ve actually already started on the list. I’ve come up with a list of ten rules and if you can think of any more, we’ll add them.”

            “I’m assuming rules can be added at any time.”

            “Of course! Who’s to say we’ll think of everything.”

            “Well, you _are_ the smart one.” He sat down on a stool in front of her countertop.

            Never breaking eye contact with him, she slid the paper across the counter. For a brief moment their hands touched and she shyly smiled before pulling away.

            “Felicity, this thing has multiple pages.”

            She nodded. “Front and back.”

            He looked up at her in surprise. “Did you have to write an entire novel?”

            “I didn’t want there to be any discrepancies!”

            “I figured this would be a page of “No this” and “No that” not the Ten Commandments.”

            “A. The Ten Commandments aren’t long. B. This isn’t the sign on a fourth grader’s tree house. We need to be precise.”

            He relented at her determination and cleared his throat before reading the list.

            “Rule #10… We’re going backwards?”

            “I thought it was more dramatic.”

            “ _No dates. The definition of a date is an established romantic appointment or engagement in which we both attend and one person pays for the other. This includes but is not limited to breakfast, lunch, dinner (especially no brunch), long walks in stereotypical romantic environments, ice-skating, any outside location that involves dancing, picnics, going to see any kind of show, going to the beach etc etc.”_

            Oliver looked up. “What if we’re with friends?”

            She paused and took a pen to alter the paper. “If attended with one of more individuals and not in a “double-date” kind of way, then it’s acceptable to do any of these things together.”

            “Rule #9: _No sleep-overs._ Wait, what? Isn’t that the entire point of this?”

            “Keep reading!” She urged.

            “ _Being the start and end to someone’s day is extremely intimate, which isn’t the goal of a casual sex situation. In order to keep our eyes on the prize, the guest is to leave when the deed is done and retreat back to their own bed, satisfied and comfortable._ ”

            “Even though it’s not on there, that kind of prevents cuddling, right?” She asked. “I don’t even know if you’re a cuddler. Are you?”

            “Laurel was.” He shrugged. “I could definitely do without it. The sex is the good part and that’s what we’re getting.”

            “Yeah, we’re skipping all the contact with sticky skin and that’s probably okay.”

            “Rule #8: _No new introductions. Obviously, this is merely a friendship, not a relationship. The only people you bring to your parents are those you potentially see a future with and since this case is temporary, it’s best if parents and friends are left completely out of the mix.”_

            “So we aren’t telling anyone?”

            “I didn’t say that.” Mainly because she was already guilty of spilling the beans. “I just mean we can’t be brought over for family dinners or tagged along to gatherings as a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” figure.”

            “That makes sense. When did you think of all these?”

            “Work.” She grimaced.

            “Rule #7: _Safe sex. Condoms are absolutely, without question, the second most important factor into a sexual experience. Second only to consent, condoms are a requirement and sex cannot be exchanged without one. If both of us are out of condoms, we either get more or we don’t have sex at all. End of story._ ”

            “You’re afraid of catching something from one of those other girls, aren’t you?”

            “I’m not not-afraid of that! Also, I’m really not feeling having to explain to a child that they were made because Daddy and Mommy weren’t in love, but because they were horny and wanted to have a lot of sex.”

            “That’s basically how Thea came about.”

            She sighed at the thought of Moira’s infidelity. Robert was no saint either, having messed around with more women then he could count. They were still back together despite all the challenges and that certainly spoke for itself. If one good thing came from it, it was Thea.

            “Rule #6: _No displays of affection outside of the throws of passion. Public, private, it doesn’t matter. The only time kissing, holding, flirting, stroking (and so on) is allowed is the event of sex. Other than that, our hands will be kept to ourselves to avoid slipping into messy habits that could lead to blurred lines._ ”

            “Clearly, we aren’t going to be like stiff pieces of wood-”

            Oliver snorted at her word choice and she rolled her eyes, despite the smile that broke through her determined exterior.

            “We can touch, but only as we would when we were non-sex-buddies.”

            “Rule #5.” He grinned at the paper. “I like this one. _Both must come. There isn’t much point in uniting on a frequent basis if both parties aren’t going to reap the full benefits. In addition, the individual who already came must try at their best ability to bring him or her over the edge as well. Fair is fair._ ”

            She felt herself turning a blistering red and tried to find casualty in her words. “I just figured no one likes a greedy sex-buddy, right?”

            “Felicity Smoak, you don’t know me as well as you think you do if you think there’s ever going to be an occasion where I don’t make you come.”

            Her stomach did somersaults, but on the exterior, she just gave him a small nod and the remnants of her rosy cheeks to view as a response. That was certainly a comforting response.

            She swallowed dry air and took the paper from him to continue reading where he left off. “Rule #4: _Meetings must take place **after** the sun goes down and end **before** the sun goes up. If we go seeking each other out during normal hours of the day, it defeats the purpose of hooking up. Day-sex is for boyfriends and girlfriends that have to make time for each other whenever they can, not for people looking for a release._”

            “We’re basically vigilantes of sex. We only come out at night.”

            “Literally.” She laughed. “Rule #3: _Friendship comes first. Although we are adding an entirely new dynamic to our relationship, it can’t change the fundamental foundation we’ve initially laid down for years. The point is, after this temporary situation passes, we need to still be able to be friends.”_

            Oliver reached out to take her hand. “I want you in my life, Felicity. You’re the last bit of stability I have left.”

            “That’s terrifying.”

            “I’m not going to let this little fling destroy us. We’re helping each other.”

            “Exactly! Now, number 2 and 1 kind of go hand in hand, but they’re the most important on here.”

            “Okay, hit me with it.”

            “Rule #2: _The moment someone starts to feel romantically attached, the deal is completely off. This is pretty obvious, but we can’t allow the line between friendship and romance to falter. Neither of us are ready for anything like that and we wouldn’t really be falling in love. We’d be fooling ourselves into believing we are, because we’re alone and great in bed. This isn’t a permanent situation, just a transition period and we need to keep that in mind. The second emotions develop, we call it quits.”_

            “And the person can’t be upset about the other not wanting a relationship.” Oliver added. “We’re signing up for a fuck-buddy.”

            “That’s what we’re getting.” She was glad they were on the same page. “Now for the grand finale… Unless you have rules of your own to add, of course.”

            “You’ve been pretty concise.”

            “Rule #1: _No falling in love.”_

“There wasn’t a lengthy explanation to that one.” He pointed out. “Did you run out of ink?”

            “I just thought it was pretty self-explanatory. It is, right?”

            “It is. Felicity, you do realize you skipped a couple rules, right? They’re awfully important considering our situation.”

            “Oh. What are they?”

            “Sex-Rules.”


	9. The Grateful Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver has always been more of a "shower" than a "teller".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rated E because Olicity sex ahead!

            Oliver and Felicity fell apart from each other and smacked flat against the mattress, causing themselves to reverberate a bit. The sheets, like their bodies, were coated in sweat. He grinned knowingly at her.

            “I told you my rules were important.”

            She tried to immediately output a witty remark, but he was in better shape than her and more used to recovering from strenuous workouts at a quicker rate. She just focused on her breathing for a moment and bumped her shoulder against his.

            “I’m still going to write them down.”

            “You’re telling me you didn’t memorize them from all that demonstration? That’s how I got through high school.”

            “I knew it.” She teased. “There’s no way you passed algebra with flying colors fair and square. Mrs. Burk hated you.”

            He laughed as he slid out of bed to gather his clothes. This would take some getting used to, having sex and then parting so quickly. Obviously, it was one of the rules she came up with and agreed with, but it was still an unusual set of circumstances for her.

            “How do we…” She trailed off. “How do we say goodbye? Do we nod, shake hands, hi-five?”

            “I feel the appropriate way to end this meeting would be with a hi-five.”

            She sat up and met his hand in a swift and confident _smack_ that echoed through her apartment for a moment. He winked at her before making his way out her door and so forth through the apartment. The hi-five only furthered the rise of her skyrocketing endorphins. She felt like after a good shower and a quick snack, she’d be able to fully prepare herself for her meeting with the board to see if she was suited to be the IT rep for Kord Industries.

            She allowed herself to revel in the moments that preceded her burst of bubbling energy. Oliver definitely was not wrong about his methods of explanation.

            _“Sex-rules, huh? Why do I get the feeling you’re about to admit to a toenail fetish or something?”_

_“We’ve been lucky so far—how smooth things have gone, that is. We’ve had sex twice and there haven’t been any mishaps. We’ve both came, which as you stated, is the primary reason why we’re here.”_

_“Okay…”_

_“And I want to insure that things continue going well.”_

_“Me too. I like good sex.”_

_“Don’t we all?”_

_“Alright, so tell me.” She slid a pen and piece of paper over to him, urging him to put it in writing. He covered her hand with his._

            _“I’d rather show you.” He replied with a devilish smirk. “You can take notes.”_

  * **_Rule #1:_** _Consent is key._



_“Do you want me to show you?” His voice dropped to a low volume as he walked_ _around the counter and over to where she sat perched on a stool. His palms based her hips as he leaned down to the space between the bottom of her earlobe and her jaw. His mouth started there and slowly worked its way down the column of her neck, glossing over a sensitive spot that caused a rumble in her throat._

_She dipped her head in approval whilst also craning her neck to allow him expansive access. She could feel his charged smile against her warm skin and despite her well-heated apartment, a shiver still advanced down her spine._

_His fingers played with the hem of her shirt, submerging beneath its cloaked surface and into the realm of hot and drumming skin. His calloused fingers hiked the material higher until Felicity lifted her arms to assist the removal. He tossed it behind them in a direction neither cared about._

  * **_Rule #2:_** _Communicate when you fornicate._



_Felicity never considered herself someone that was very good at the whole “dirty-_ _talk” thing. She was very good at certain things in bed, but speaking in an enticing manner was not one of them, because she was awful at controlling what popped into her brain and out of her mouth. She tended to talk too much and it could potentially kill the mood._

_Luckily for her, Oliver wasn’t the most vocal person in the world and compensated by utilizing his mouth in much more effective ways. Wow, she’d never imagined she’d be collecting such prosperity from him._

_“You’re so hot.” He muffled against her skin as he trailed a series of fiery kisses_ _down the center of her chest. She carded her fingers through his cropped hair and gently tugged on the ends, pulling a low moan out of him._

_“And you…” Her breath caught in her throat and a slight whimper escaped instead of words. Having him this up close and personal was enough to make her heart race, but the gravely tone he used enticed her all the more. “Are really good at that.”_

_He nipped at her skin in a way that she knew was going to leave scorching marks, but she decided she didn’t mind one bit considering the payoff greatly outweighed the give._

_“What do you want?”_

_“Shirt. Off.” She commanded and was briefly unsure where the animalistic need for his spectacular form, but it blazed through her like a wildfire._

_“Yes ma’am.” He easily complied as his shirt joined hers._

  * **_Rule #3:_** _Any flat surface will do._



_There were worse positions to be in than on the carpet in the middle of her living_ _room. They’d made a valiant attempt at shuffling to her bedroom, but to no avail as it was quite difficult to walk while simultaneously kicking off your pants. Before she knew it, she was tripping and then falling, back hitting the fluffy carpet._

_She gazed up at the tower of a practically naked man above her. His eyes were dark and full of desire and she almost laughed at the fact that his arousal hadn’t been swayed after her tumble to the ground. She knew how to make any semi-erotic situation bumbling, but it didn’t bother him in the slightest._

_He knelt down and for a moment she hoped he would throw her over his shoulder in a sweep of strength and determination, but instead he crawled over her in what could only be described as a predator’s inspection before the attack. Her stomach bubbled in anticipation as his stubbled face dragged across the entire length of her body._

_Her hands met his shoulder blades as he sloped up her, trying to urge his speed to meet her mouth. He nudged her legs open with his knees so he could comfortably place himself between her thighs. She slid her hands down to his tense biceps, appreciating their strain as she arched her back to rub against him. Despite his strong appearance, the man crumbled when he was sensitively touched._

 

  * **_Rule #4:_** _It’s the little touches that count._



_She shifted them so he was sitting upright and crawled into his lap. He may have_ _designed the rules, but that didn’t mean she was about to be completely submissive. Following his lead was one thing, but she, too, was in charge of this arrangement. He didn’t dispute the shift in positions in the slightest, gripping her hips to steady her when she wobbled a bit._

_She looked down into his alluring blues and wrapped herself tightly around him. She took his face in her hands and pulled him forward so his mouth surrounded one of her nipples and groaned as he reached up to massage the other one. Meanwhile, she tried to maintain her goal and grind. Her core was drenched at his point, a realization he’d come to on his own from the friction that paralyzed him._

_His teeth gently pulled at her and she all but wailed. He stopped what he was doing to look at her carefully, making sure that was a positive yelp and not a negative. She kissed down his jaw to illustrate her approval of the matter and soon his hands found her mounds again._

_Suddenly, she got an urge of her own and reached into the barrier of his waistband and took him in her hands. He gasped as she stroked every inch of him, his breaths becoming shallow. She’d paused when she reached the length of him, staring down in the direction of her hand as if he were a science experiment._

_Truthfully, it really freaked him out._

_“What?” He finally asked, a bit nervous._

_“Wow.”_

_“I don’t know how to take that, Felicity.”_

_She met his stare in confusion, before she shook her head in assurance._

_“No! No, not “wow” like that.” She immediately bit her lip. “You’re just… Mazel Tov.”_

_He was about to laugh, but her immediate tunneling movement threw him completely off that track and into a hissing and grumbling._

  * **_Rule #5:_** _Be open to new things._



_“I’ve never been on the bottom before.” Oliver was about to go on about how_ _Laurel never liked it. She always had a thing for the way he crumpled on top of her after they fell apart, but their underwear was off and her wetness felt hot against his abdomen and all thoughts of Laurel were gone._

_“Me neither.” She grinned and continued swaying across him. She could feel his hard length pulsating. “Ray was afraid I’d break him.”_

_Her mind went blank in the department of Ray Palmer when Oliver’s hand slipped between her thighs and against her clit. She leaned forward to steady her palms against his firm chest as she rocked back and forth against his stroking touch._

_“Ooh.” Her small gasps and the way she squeezed her eyes shut only increased the urgency he felt down below. He would need to learn to control himself when they became more accustom to each other, because he was about one pump away from coming and he was not about to go that easily just because she was taking control._

_Good lord, it was hot though._

_She leaned down the entire way so that their lips crashed into one another. Tongues colliding and dancing within connected caverns, teeth clashing into each other. He pushed two fingers into her entrance and she howled against his tongue._

_“Fuck.” He heard her muffle when his pacing increased. His thumb tapped accordingly to the hurried rhythm his index and middle finger fell into. He used his other hand to grip her breast against, furthering her process._

_He began pushing down harder and slower, drawing her out, and her nails dug into his chest, surely embedding scratches into his skin._

_“Oliver--” She faltered. She swore she was on fire as electricity coursed through her veins and his fingers pressed firmer and rubbed in circular motions._

_She wanted him though. All of him._

  * **_Rule #6:_** _Wrap it up._



_He scrambled for his jeans and quickly yanked out the little packet before_ _handing it off to her. She painstakingly pealed the plastic and toyed with the circular object for a moment, waiting on his reaction. Sweat glossed over her body, dampening forehead and her chest the most as she heaved for air. He felt himself twitch as she literally slid down and over his nether region and took him in her hand._

_Oliver swore he would never forget the image of her acrylic sea foam nails gripping him with such purpose. She gave him a quick tease, smiling with pride when he tensed and relaxed beneath her._

_Carefully, she held the condom over his tip and gently spread the rubber over, using her hands to be sure it was on firmly. He pushed his hips up in immediate need and the not-forgotten unfinished business that was her on release dawned on her as well._

  * **_Rule #7:_** _Come_



_She got on her knees and inched herself so she was hovering over him. He briefly_ _considered asking her to be careful, but the way her tongue jetted out in concentration gave the impression that she was already doing so. His large hands gently took her hips and helped her position herself properly._

_Her wet core inadvertently stroked the very tip and he growled, ignoring all pretenses of looking desperate or needy. He was. He needed this. He needed her as soon as possible._

_She forced herself into smiling, but really she quivered above him in anticipation that couldn’t be resolved with a smile. She wasn’t faking when her face split into an even wider grin when she slowly sank onto him._

_He hissed and tilted his head back, grinding his neck against the carpet. Rug burn was not going to treat him kindly, but that seemed like a distant issue as she slowly fell into a simple rise-and-fall movement, taking it slow, drawing him out._

_She gritted her teeth at the delicious way he rubbed against her clit from this position. It felt like pins and needles along with sparkles inhabited her with every brush. She moved more desperately as she felt herself reaching the brim. It wouldn’t be long until she was overflowing and then completely burst. He was close below her, eyes fluttering and hands outreaching to grab her._

_He settled on her hips and raised himself to meet her every bounce. All that could be heard was their frantic breathing and the smacking sound between every pump. He pushed further into her, despite that seeming impossible and essentially lifted himself in and out._

_Before long, her mouth began to hung open and it felt like water was pouring over the edge, a damn breaking. Her impassioned thrusts only deepened as she chased her high._

_“Oliv-Oliver… Oli... ver… I’m- Oh my-Oliver!” She shouted and completely untangled above him, silk walls surrounded and pulsating against his already bursting member. He pulled her down once… twice… three times more before giving in and jetted into her reverberating waves._

  * **_Rule #8:_** _Repeat… (if desired)_



_“Let’s… do… that… again.” She breathed through a fit of satisfied giggles of_ _jubilation._

            Yeah, they were both going to be sleeping well that night, because the deal was now officially ongoing. Let the games begin. Oliver grinned as he walked into his front door, feeling completely refreshed. They could handle this.

            Right?


	10. Book Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity really wished they could have just talked about books at book club. Just this once.

_“What are you doing tonight?”_ It was the beginning of every conversation between she and Oliver for the past four weeks. They didn’t exactly have lengthy talks, but it always “innocently” began accordingly. Usually, she’d get home from work feeling particularly exhausted, get dinner, and like clockwork, she’d receive a text at around 7 pm.

Tonight was no different; except she actually had plans for the evening that couldn’t be cancelled even if she wanted. She cancelled last week after a difficult tear-inducing day at work and then prescribed herself to three rounds between the sheets and a pint of mint chip. The week before, Iris cancelled because she was sick, which Felicity had no problem with given her nightly activities. The week before that was Sara and Nyssa’s anniversary. The point was, no one was having it this week.

 _“I can’t meet up tonight. I’ve got book club.”_ She wrote back _._

_“Book club?”_

_“Book club.”_

_“Aren’t you about 20 years too young to be in a book club?”_

_“It’s not middle-aged mom exclusive, you know.”_

_“Felicity, my mom is in a book club. Even she thinks so.”_

_“Okay, we don’t really read. We mostly gossip. I read though. I read the books and then we talk about it.”_

_“You’re a nerd.”_

_“That is not the way to speak to your bed buddy. I control your sex life.”_

_“True. Happy reading!”_

“Happy reading?” Oliver groaned at himself as he shoved his phone into his pocket. Who says shit like that? Why was he so disappointed? Did he honestly expect to be with her every single night? She had plans and he should too. He would most likely benefit from going out and engaging with other people. Spending too much time with her, despite being kept at a sexual level, was an easy way to get attached.

Months ago, he would have asked Tommy to find a good spot for them to hit, but he’d deleted his friend’s number from his phone about two months before and wasn’t about to journey down that painful road.

As if he was being watched while in his disgruntled state, he received a text from Slade Wilson. Typically, his texts would be work-related. In other words, he’d ask Oliver to lock up, tell him he fought lamely, tell him he would once again be taking over John Diggle’s shift in washing the towels.

“Stupid Diggle. Never washes any towels.” He never said anything to the larger man, considering he looked like he could snap a barbell like a toothpick. The guy never spoke to anyone. He mostly trained the more advanced athletes that came to the gym. Oliver wondered if he even spoke to them, but whatever he did proved results that out-did Slade’s people. Because of that, Oliver essentially became a glorified towel boy.

_“Hey kid, can you drink a lot?”_

Well, that sounded like a loaded question. It also sounded like a terrible sign if he were to answer “yes”, but he couldn’t deny the fact that he was curious what the man had in mind. There were a lot of stories about Slade in his younger years.

Despite the gnawing internal voice that he’d ignored for the past month, he realized he couldn’t waste his life waiting around for other people. He had to seize opportunities that were handed to him. Plus, could it really hurt going out with your boss? He wouldn’t mind persuading Slade to let him train people, you know, the job he signed on for.

_“Yeah… Why?”_

_“No questions asked. Come to Wintergreen’s on the mainline.”_

_“Will I be sorry if I do?”_

_“Maybe. Come on.”_

That was easily the least convincing invitation he’d ever received, but then again, what did he expect from a man who’s idea of signs of affection included giving girls coupons to the gym.

Still, the man was crazy. If Oliver knew one thing, it was craziness usually resulted in fun or death.

That was a chance he was willing to take.

* * *

 

“Why don’t we ever go to a quiet place for book club? You know, a place with books? A library, if you will?” Felicity grumbled as a waitress placed cocktails in front of the four of them. However, she was the first to lean in and take a sip of her drink.

Sara leaned into the table. “Because the only way I’m ever going to make it through your yammering about _Wuthering Heights_ for 2 hours is if I’m drunk and distracted..”

Nyssa and Iris sniggered in agreement as Felicity’s mouth opened in moderate offense.

“Hey, hey, hey. For one thing-”

“Here we go…” Iris rolled her eyes, nonetheless smiling in amusement at her old friend.

“ _We’re_ supposed to be reading _Pride and Prejudice._ Also, none of this was ever my idea. It was Iris’s. I suggested movie nights.”

“Yeah, but Felicity, I just thought we were going to read magazines and talk about drama.”

“That is what we do. I don’t know why you’re complaining.”

“I’m complaining because I read all day for my job. And write. I don’t need to feel like I am in my spare time.”

“Hey, lay off her guys.” Nyssa smiled.

“Thank you.”

“Our little nerd just wants to talk about her bedtime stories.”

Everyone bust into laughter and even Felicity chuckled at her own expense. She let out a sigh that was probably louder than she’d realized, because all eyes were on her again.

“Something nods her off all right.” Iris teased as she finished off her first drink and waved the waitress for a new one.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Have you joined a spa? Because you’ve seemed really rejuvenated as of late. You know, not like you’re working for a sexist dickhead that won’t let you climb the corporate ladder.”

She opened her mouth to defend Ted Kord, but honestly, how could you?

“I don’t know about _rejuvenated_ , but I’ve been feeling better about myself and the whole Ray thing.”

“Something is definitely up with you though. You seem so… at peace.”

“I’ve been trying to focus more on me lately. Boost my confidence.”

“No, it’s not that. I think our girl is on a health kick.” Sara nodded while swirling her straw around.

“Doesn’t that go along with what I just said?”

“I agree, Sara. I think she’s getting her daily dose of all her vitamins.” Nyssa ignored Felicity’s input and the two smiled knowingly.

“I do take those chewy ones every day. I never did well with those big hard ones.” Felicity shrugged and the two girls burst into a fit of hysterical laughter. She looked between them with a blank look on her face. It was safe to say she missed something, but it wasn’t long before Iris’s eyebrows raised and she joined in on the howling.

“Vitamin D, Felicity.” Sara relented.

It still took the blonde a moment to catch what they were not-so-subtly insinuating and when she did, the revelation shattered all confusion that once inhabited her exterior. In fact, her reaction only increased the copious roars of hilarity.

She blinked a few times. “Wait… What?”

“All right, out with it.” Iris nudged her. “Who is he?”

“Who is who?”

“Don’t play dumb with us, Felicity Smoak. We know you better than almost anyone and we know that is not a word in your vocabulary. Who’s the guy?” Sara pushed and took a new drink of her own.

“No idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’ve always been a terrible liar, you know that?” Nyssa mused. “Every liar has a tell. You have about five.”

“I think you’ve been watching too much SVU; all of you. You’re trying to be detectives or something.” She nervously gulped down her drink. However, it wasn’t in her best interest to get drunk. Drunk Felicity was always a better sharer than sober Felicity. Sober Felicity wasn’t exactly a vault either.

“Cut the shit, Smoak. We know you’re getting laid.” Sara feigned a threatening tone as she smacked her hand against the table.

“Is this gang up on Felicity night or book club? Because I just don’t know anymore.”

“Watch it. Last time we talked about my condition the entire night.”

“Your condition? You had an STD, Iris.”

“Crabs, to be precise.” Nyssa muttered against her glass.

“Hey! Not only am I clean and ready to mingle, but that was from a drunken night and a very gross public toilet seat. Nothing sexual. It could have happened to anyone.”

“Trust me when I say: no it couldn’t have.”

“I thought we were talking about Felicity tonight.”

“Why? That was worth talking about. My sex life… Or lack thereof, is not.”

“Usually it isn’t. Usually every sex story you can possibly contribute involves Ray Palmer, which I can promise, no one wants to hear about.” Sara faked vomiting into her drink for emphasis. “Now that you’ve got a new man… or woman… I’m interested.”

“I’m not hooking up with a woman.”

“But there’s someone!” She snapped back.

Dammit. She couldn’t tell them. Honestly, she’d contemplated on it for a while. It would be nice to be able to contribute to all the crazy sex stories they had from once upon a time (Sara and Nyssa never talked about each other in order to not make everything weird). There were a couple reasons she wouldn’t be able to talk to them about this. First, Sara is the sister of Oliver’s ex-almost fiancée. Surely, that would make everything incredibly uncomfortable and put Sara in an awkward position. Second, she knew they’d tell her she was being stupid, thus officially placing that word in her vocabulary. Third, she kind of liked separating the two worlds.

“There is… kind of someone. It’s not a relationship deal, though.”

“Oh my God. Felicity has a fuck-buddy!” Iris covered her mouth, but her eyes shined with pride. Her friends were so weird. “This is the best day ever.”

“Felicity Smoak, an official fuck-buddy.” Nyssa nodded slowly, a wry smile plastered on her lips. “Interesting.”

“What changed?” Sara asked. “A little over a month ago, you had an anxiety attack because you couldn’t go through with a hook up. Do you know the guy?”

“I know him from… work.”

“Felicity, how well do you know him?” She could hear the caution in Sara’s voice. The night they went to Verdant, Sara warned Felicity about getting too close to a guy she was having casual sex with. Clearly, she hadn’t taken that advice and was doing the exact opposite, but that didn’t mean she needed to know.

“Well enough that I know he won’t kill me, but I don’t know the guy from atom.” Technically, she didn’t know Oliver from atom. She didn’t know his favorite color! Actually, it was probably green. He wore that green hoodie a lot.

“What’s his name?”

“Curtis from the Tech department.” Curtis was gay. So gay. He was the only other male name that even lingered on her brain besides Oliver or Ray.

“What is this biblical times? Does he not have an actual last name?” Sara snorted.

“No! See, this is why I wasn’t eager to tell you. You two are going to try and vet him.”

“The last guy was a spy for Ray, Felicity. I still think you need to sort out a restraining order for that, but still. You picked the one guy he had set up for you. Excuse me if I have some doubts.”

“Wait, why wouldn’t I be involved in this vetting process?” Iris scoffed. “I can vet!”

“Do you have a black belt in 16 types of self-defense?” Nyssa asked coolly. Felicity swore alcohol did nothing to the girl. Sara joked that Nyssa once dropped acid and acted completely normal, claiming to have not seen a single vision. Nyssa said Sara was the only vision she could see and the two ended up making out in the car while Felicity waited at the local 7-eleven, calling Ray for him to pick her up.

Iris drooped her shoulders. “Whatever. I, for one, am happy for you and Curtis from the tech department and don’t think you need a bodyguard.”

“I’m still going to find out who he is.” Sara muttered. “I won’t interrogate or ask any questions. I’m not a cock-blocker, but I swear to God if I find out he’s shit-”

“-We are going to emasculate him and then Mr. Palmer.” Nyssa finished.

“That’s sweet… Kind of, but no thank you. I know what I’m doing. We’re just hanging out.”

“And fucking.” Iris grinned. “Is he good?”

Felicity couldn’t help but light up at the question in immediate response. “Yeah, he’s good.”

“Remember, Felicity, if you catch the feels, you gotta drop the deal.” Sara drawled.

“Will do, Dr. Seuss.”

* * *

 

Oliver showered before heading over to meet Slade at _Wintergreen’s_. God, he hadn’t been over there since he was home on break from college. It was just as lively as he remembered, except a slightly older crowd had taken over as main attendees, which he assumed was just his generation stuck around. He immediately noticed Slade and a couple of other big guys at the back of the room.

“Hey, man, what’s up?” he clamped Slade on the back.

“Oliver fucking Queen.” Slade roared. “Are you ready to shoot?”

“Shoot?”

“Beer-pong… only with shots.” The unfamiliar voice of John Diggle affirmed. Damn, what was he even doing here? Oliver was going to make some attempt at convincing Slade to let him take on some trainees. Now, he couldn’t do that with the oak tree of a person that was John Diggle standing right between them.

“Shot-pong? You called me down here for shot pong?”

“I needed someone with a youthful liver, okay? Also, I know for a fact you’ve got impeccable aim.”

It was true. Oliver’s hand-eye coordination was easily commendable.

“Loser buys a round of drinks to the hottest group of girls in here.” Slade grinned. “You better get ready to pay up there, Queen.”

“Wait, I’m not on your team?”

“You’re on mine.” Diggle nodded down at him. “I suggested that Slade get you to come down here. I figured you could handle it.”

“I’m playing with the owner.”

“I’m guessing his name is Wintergreen.” Oliver muttered.

“No, _Wintergreen_ is more of a tribute name.” A thinner, shorter man emerged from behind a group of ogling meatheads. “Besides, would you go to a bar named Maseo?”

Oliver shrugged, but it wasn’t long before they were lined up and throwing shots back like there was no tomorrow. It was difficult to score, given how tiny the glasses were, but if shot at just the right velocity, it was possible.

Maseo proved that time and time again.

“He killed the last kid.” Slade muttered as he threw back another shot. “Why do you think you were hired?”

Oliver wasn’t too surprised by the comment. Maseo should have been a sharpshooter or an archer, not a bartender. His precision was so remarkable that you wondered if he somehow discovered the power of the force. If anyone was to have it, it would be him.

“You’re pretty good.” Dig mumbled. “I’m impressed.”

“It’s all about using the right amount of restraint. You have to be gentle.”

“Not my specialty.”

“Yeah, well, college gave me a lot of practice at this.” Oliver knew he was going to regret getting plastered, but the effects of the shots were already doing their worst. It was actually distracting him. He was pretty sure the ball was soaked in gin beforehand.

“What am I drinking?” He finally asked.

“Straight Vodka.”

“Awesome.”

Unsurprisingly, Maseo and Slade dominated the game. They didn’t let anyone forget either. The entire bar was practically chating their names as they stood on stools and cued for the music to be cranked up. Oliver couldn’t help but laugh at the sight.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they ended up in bed together by the way they’re hugging.” He nudged Diggle, who laughed maybe for the first time in his life. He tried not to seem too shocked by what should have been a normal, human reaction.

“We better get those drinks to some ladies before we start really acting like fools.”

Oliver nodded in agreement before scanning the area. His eyes landed on a group of young women that sat towards the front, away from the commotion they’d created.

He snapped his fingers and pointed. “Them. I think they’re cute.”

“And probably the only people in here that won’t die from alcohol poisoning.”

“Which makes them hotter.”

So, they sauntered over to the all-female table and Oliver put on his best smile. He’d caught the attention of the darker skinned woman, whose entire face lit up at his arrival. She was pretty, but looked awfully familiar.

“Hey, ladies. We just got our asses handed to us in pong and the rules were loser buys the prettiest girls in here drinks.” Diggle spoke, which was probably for the best.

The one who’s back had been to him turned around and he felt his stomach twist into a tight knot and lurch all in the same movement.

“Oliver?” She squeaked through wide eyes.

“Felicity!” He looked at her in horror and then made the uncomfortable glance of Sara Lance. Ah, yes, that’s right. Felicity still hung out with her. Nyssa didn’t look all that enthusiastic about seeing him either, but the other girl, who he presumed to be Iris, didn’t waver in her jubilation.

“You know them?” Diggle furrowed his brow.

“Uh, yeah.”

“He used to date my sister.” Sara shifted in her seat.

“We went to high school together.” Felicity couldn’t shake the aghast expression. It was good she wasn’t facing the others at this point, because she was unreasonably nervous to be around Oliver Queen. Well, she wasn’t _unreasonably_ nervous, but they would certainly think so.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m… So this is book club?”

“He knows about book club?” Nyssa raised an eyebrow.

“You have a book on your lap!” He was glad that the alcohol hadn’t completely snatched the common sense from his brain. “I just assumed…”

That seemed to do it for the others, because they returned to their awkward glances and he cleared his throat.

“Well, it was nice to see all of you.” He quickly darted out of the bar, leaving a confused group of women and an even more confused John Diggle.

He was right. Craziness did lead to fun or death. He certainly felt pretty dead inside at the moment. Vomiting in the street and running into the love of your life's sister didn't spell for a very fun time. Neither did facing the person you were presently screwing and almost blowing that in the span of ten seconds.

 

 


	11. Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uncomfortable, awkward situations always find a way of coming back in strange and unexpected ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Putting in some new (but obviously familiar) characters in this one. Hope you guys like!

            Oliver didn’t exactly remember going to sleep that night. He remembered coming home, but everything after that was a blur. He cringed as his eyes slanted open and daylight screamed in his face. Starling City could be named the cloudiest city in America and yet on the day he wants it to live up to that title, the sun decides to show off its stuff.

            He absently reached around in the local vicinity for his cell phone and outwardly groaned when he realized it was 1:30 in the afternoon and he had several missed calls from his mother, father, and Thea. He also noted that there wasn’t a single text from Felicity Smoak. He tried not to feel worried about that. She was probably sleeping off last night too.

            Yikes. He would ignore himself if he could. He almost blew the entire situation in a hot second. Of course, her reaction fueled speculation that something was up too. Anyone that glanced at the two of them would have been suspicious. All he could really do was pray alcohol was on his side.

            When he was reminded how badly his brain throbbed in his head, he felt further doubts that alcohol would ever be on his side.

            He waited to call his mother back until after he took a shower and got some coffee and breakfast into his system. Something told him that his day off was not going to be spent in an ideal manner at all.

            “Sweetheart? I called you 7 times! Why didn’t you pick up?”

            “I was sleeping, Mom.”

            “Sleeping? Oliver, are you hungover?” She sounded appalled, as if he wasn’t a 24 year old recently single man, who made a living by wiping sweat off big men.

            “Yes, very.” He took a big sip of coffee and prepared himself for the disappointed sigh that was inevitable.

            Predictably, she did just that. “Dinner is still happening tonight, right? I’m sure I can expect you won’t go too crazy on wine.”

            “I’ll bounce back.” He answered nonchalantly.

            “Oliver, I’m serious. Tonight, we’re meeting Thea’s new boyfriend and I want you to be there for it.”

            “Is Dad going to be there?”

            There was a long pause.

            “Mom?”

            “I don’t know, Oliver. He… He’s been away on a business trip for a little while and hasn’t checked in much.”

            “He tried calling me.”

            “Oh, did he?”

            “Yeah. Who’s his meeting with?”

            “That Isabel Rochev.” There was bitterness in his Mother’s voice. It was the kind of scorn that turned into murder, honestly. Oliver knew she was just staying with his father because of the money. There hadn’t been love in the Queen Mansion since Oliver was about 15 years old. He remembered the transition in business partners. It went from sensibly dressed women (and men, of course) to women that could double as prostitutes. His father was far from discrete.

            He wished she would leave him, cut it out and realize it wasn’t good for Thea to live in such a frozen environment. The girl knew nothing else. She couldn’t remember the times where Moira would straighten Robert’s tie just so she could pull him down for a kiss or when Robert would come home bearing flowers and quote love songs to his beloved wife. Oliver never knew the full story of what went wrong, but he was determined not to lead such a scandalous and empty life. That’s why after college, he had no interest in working for his father’s company. He didn’t want to fall into that trap of unhappiness.

            It appeared he found his way there anyway.

            “Yeah, I’ll be there around six.”

            “You can bring a date if you want.”

            He knew this was her way of prying and seeing if he and Laurel patched things up. She loved Laurel like a second daughter and wanted more than anything for them to work out.

            _“Oh, Oliver, she’s just perfect for you. She’s sweet, kind, nurturing… Don’t screw this up.”_

_“I’m never letting her go, Mom.”_

_“I can’t wait to welcome her to the family. Officially.”_

_“Me neither.”_

            So much for that.

            “Tell Raisa to only set one plate for me, okay?”

            She sighed again. Was that disappointment? She did realize Laurel went off with his best friend, right? There was no going back on that. She couldn’t honestly be mad at him for the whole situation. Then again, he’d find out later.

* * *

 

            “Where are we going, Sara?” Felicity asked after about 30 minutes of silent driving courtesy of her blonde friend. It made her nervous when she got like this. Usually, Felicity didn’t have much cause for nervousness, but now that she was harboring a considerably large secret about her personal life, it was called for. What was truly difficult was pretending she wasn’t nervous.

            Eventually, they pulled up in front of a familiar building and into the empty parking lot. It made sense that it was empty, because it was Saturday.

            “Um, what are we doing at the high school?”

            “Do you remember that night I tagged along with you guys? You know, after prom?”

            “I guess we’re not answering my question…?”

            “It was the first time I’d ever gotten drunk.”

            Felicity winced. “I hated that you came.”

            “Why? I was the funniest drunk there.”

            “Because you were only 15.”

            “So? You were 17.”

            “Yeah, but I didn’t even really want to be there.” She glanced down at her hands, which resided on her lap. Out of the Lance sisters, she ended up being closer to Sara, but at the time she and Laurel had been close friends. Felicity wasn’t a big partier nor was she really crazy about drinking in the school parking lot. It seemed like it was tempting fate a bit too much. It turned out she was right, too.

            “I had to take you to the ER, Sara. You drank too much and that _really_ scared me. I was the only one capable of driving and Laurel and Oliver were too busy to be bothered at that stupid hotel.”

            Sara raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “You and Ray almost broke up that night.”

            “He was thinking about sex while you were throwing up in the backseat of my car. He was really drunk too.”

            “I think that’s when we started to become pretty close.”

            “I guess.” She sighed. “It could also be argued that your sister and I spread a part after that night.”

            “Why?”

            “I don’t know.”

            “It had nothing to do with the fact that she and Oliver were having hotel sex while you were helping me clean vomit from my hair?”

            “I was mad she abandoned you, I guess.”

            Sara smiled lightly, but Felicity couldn’t help but notice the disappointment in her friend’s stare. She knew something was up, but she wasn’t asking. “When you guys were in school with me… Those were some of the best days of my life. I loved tagging along to your little group. You guys all didn’t make sense, given your social standings, but it was neat.”

            Felicity felt herself reminiscing too. After a moment of being lost in a time where her biggest worry was what sweater to wear to school, she pulled herself away and forced the question at hand to rise through the foggy appeal of yesterday.

            “Why are we here?”

            “Seeing Ollie last night just felt so weird. We all used to hang out… All the time. It just made me want to take a minute to revisit some of those old times, you know? Bask in the memories. We all had so many good ones. Now, we’re practically strangers. I’m not saying I want to get together with the guy for tea. I mean, he’s my sister’s ex and that would be weird. If not for me, but for him.”

            “How do you feel about that whole situation?” Felicity wanted to ask Sara from the moment it happened, just to see where she stood. She knew if she asked, she would tell, but she’d never found the right time without sounding like she was interrogating her.

            “He was like a big brother to me. It sucked. On the other hand, I don’t think he and Laurel were ever as happy as they wanted everyone to believe. They never fought.”

            “Isn’t that a good thing?”

            “No! Are you kidding? There’s obviously such thing as “too much fighting”, but Jesus, they never fought to resolve anything. Oliver and Laurel almost broke up their junior year of college because he never tried to remember anything. He still kept forgetting everything. I felt bad, because I think he was just dumb and sometimes Laurel was too hard on him, but they never talked about. She freaked out and threatened to break up with him, he apologized, and they had sex in the car. He still forgot. She was just silent.”

            “I’m still friends with Oliver.” She said quietly.

            Sara’s gaze flipped to her quickly. “I thought you were acting weird last night.”

            “We keep in touch.”

            _Yeah, we keep in touch all right._

            “You guys were never close, though, right?”

            “Honestly, I consider him one of my best friends now.”

            “Is there any reason you never talk about it?”

            “Uh, yeah, Laurel’s your sister. For both of your sakes I try not to bring up how I pal about with him.”

            _Also, I’m fucking him._

“Just be careful, okay? I know I’m biased, because like it’s been stated multiple times, Laurel is my sister, but Oliver can be emotional trouble. I feel bad for the guy, but he doesn’t have goals or inhibitions. He’s just this emotional spiral with a lot of issues and tends to take everyone down with him.”

            “Mhm.”

            “Besides, I knew you had a crush on him in High School-”

            “It… Wasn’t _that_ obvious, right?”

            Sara snorted. “You’re cute.”

_Well, this just intensified why I can’t ever tell you about any of this. That look in your eye tells me you’re suspicious too. Okay… Just breathe and nod. Do not speak. Do not speak. Do not speak._

            “…”

_Good girl._

* * *

 

            “Ollie!” Thea’s bone-crushing hug always reminded him that he wasn’t complete and total scum. If Thea saw something in him, there had to be more there. That’s what he told himself, anyway.

            “Hey, Speedy!” He happily returned the embrace and spun her around a bit before setting her down. “I hear I’ve got a boyfriend to meet.”

            “Be nice.” She urged him. “Roy’s a really good guy.”

            “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He waved her off and deepened his descent into his old home. The mansion was always freezing, no matter what time of year, because it was impossible to heat. However, he never remembered it being so chilly as a young boy. Perhaps the warmth that radiated through the once-close family livened up the place.

            “Oliver Queen, why you don’t visit more often?”

            “Aw, I’m sorry, Raisa.” He beamed before giving the woman a warm hug. “You’ve been with me in spirit though, Raisa. I learned a new marinade that even you would go crazy for.”

            She patted his abdomen. “You must have, because something has to enrich these strong muscles.”

            “Something tells me you’re going to make all my hard work for nothing with how that pie smells.”

            She leaned into his ear. “I had to make something to cheer Mrs. Queen up. She’s always so sad when Robert is away.”

            It wasn’t that she missed him, but that she became increasingly acidic with every thinly veiled affair he pursued. Robert virtually didn’t need to go do any sort of business out of state. Oliver knew how the company worked well enough to be aware that it was fairly capable to keep Queen Consolidated localized. He just went to these countries to feel liberated and forget he had a wife and kids back home. Then, Moira would pretend nothing was happening and continue on sleeping in separate bedrooms from him. She probably convinced herself she was doing it for Thea, but she and Robert fought so often in front of Thea, fairly open about the cheating, that it was a pointless defense.

            He walked into the dining room to see his mother sipping on a glass of white wine.

            “Hello, darling!” She smiled before standing up to kiss him on the cheek. “How’s my boy?”

            “I’m okay.” He replied lamely. “I’ve been working at that gym near my new apartment complex.”

            “Ah, yes the _Arrow_.” Raisa grinned. “That’s where all the athletes and military vets train, yeah?”

            Oliver nodded and looked to a rather dissatisfied Moira.

            “Anything you want to say, Mom?”

            “Honey, you know your Dad can get you a job, right?”

            “I know that, but I don’t want to work for Dad.”

            “Sometimes, you need to put aside your stubbornness and make the decision that’s best for you. You’re clearly not happy with what you’re doing now. You’ve been awfully mopey since you broke up with Laurel…”

            “That wasn’t a decision made by me.”

            “But you didn’t fight for her, did you?”

            “She cheated on me. Not everyone thinks that’s okay.” He snapped and he wished he hadn’t, because any light that his mother was trying to push forth was completely erased as if it’d never existed. He felt like the little boy that broke his mom’s favorite vase while playing baseball in the house when he shouldn’t have been.

            “Mom-”

            “-No, Oliver. We’re here for Thea, right? Let’s keep it about her.”

            He sighed as Thea entered the room, proudly holding the arm of a shorter, dark-haired boy, who wore a maroon collared shirt with black dress pants. The boy seemed nervous and appeared as if Thea was his physical support at the moment. She might have mentioned that her brother was super ripped and knew how to fight like a superhero.

            “You must be Roy.” Moira smiled brightly as if Oliver hadn’t just stabbed her with the painful truth. He always marveled at her ability to put on a winning smile and move on from the issue as if there hadn’t been one.

“I’m Moira and this is Thea’s big brother, Oliver.”

            “Nice to meet you both.”

            “My dad couldn’t make it.” She said matter-of-factly.

            Instead of flinching in the way Oliver hoped he would, Roy narrowed his eyes and tilted his head like a confused dog at a museum. He finally stretched into a more acceptable, but still uncomfortable, surprised expression when a lightbulb went off over his head.

            “I know you!”

            “You do?” Everyone asked at the same time.

            “Well, I don’t know you on a speaking level or anything, but you were at _Wintergreen’s_ last night, right?”

            Oh God. Oliver couldn’t play it off that he wasn’t, because if Roy pressed him with some undeniable confirmation that it was him, he was screwed and would have more to explain. He didn’t know why he was remotely nervous. This kid should be the one shaking in his boots, not Oliver. It wasn’t like he had anything on him.

            “You were at a bar last night?” Moira raised an eyebrow thankfully at Roy.

            “Oh! I bartend!” He smiled. “I’m 18.”

            Oliver closed his eyes and though some things were kind of fuzzy, he could vaguely remember Roy upon reflection.

            “Why were you at _Wintergreen’s_ last night anyway, Ollie?”

            _Damn you, Thea._

            “I was just grabbing a drink with some buddies from work.” He tried.

            “Don’t be modest. You guys came for our shot pong special. You did pretty good, too. I mean, you got kind of messed up towards the end, but I don’t blame you. Maseo is too good. Afterwards, you were hanging out with Sara Lance and a couple other girls.”

            Thea and Moira shot their sharp looks to Oliver. Hell, he was fairly sure Raisa was glaring all the way from the kitchen. How did a night about meeting Thea’s new boyfriend become about him? It was a mystery.

            “ _Sara_ Lance? Ollie, what the hell were you thinking?”

            “I wasn’t hanging out with them… I just ran into them.”

            “Was Laurel there?” Moira sounded curious. God, she wanted them back together maybe more than he ever did.

            “No! Just Sara, her girlfriend Nyssa, this girl named Iris, and Felicity Smoak.”

            “I remember Felicity!” Thea lit up. “She was the genius who dated that other genius. Are they married yet?”

            _No, her fate was similar to mine except he was creepy so I punched him in the face. Now, I’m presently sleeping with her as a no-strings-attached kind of deal that none of you will ever know about._

“No, they broke up.” He said simply. “We’re still friends.”

            It wasn’t until conversations like this that he realized he didn’t tell his family nearly as much as he thought. He never mentioned her because of being with Laurel even though they’d consistently remained friends through all that. It was confusing how someone could inadvertently take over your life.

            “She was always a nice girl. She talked a lot, but she was nice.” Moira added. “I had no idea you two kept in touch. She never seemed like your type.”

            “Well, we’re just friends. You can’t really have a type with friends.” He fired back maybe a bit too quickly.

            “Okay, there touchy.” Thea pursed her lips. “I always thought she had a bit of a crush on you,.”

            “Definitely.” Moira agreed. “She was really eager to help you with your homework.”

            “Because she’s a nice person.”

            “Not graceful though.” Thea laughed. “I remember she accidentally came into my bedroom instead of yours and went on this lengthy ramble about how it made sense your room wasn’t coated in princess wallpaper, but that she wouldn’t judge you if it was.”

            He couldn’t bite back the instinctive smile even if he wanted to, because that just sounded so _her_ that it was impossible not to smile.

            God, was he the only one that didn’t find her apparent affections for him?

            “So, Roy.” Oliver started again. “Bartender, huh?”

            Now, Roy looked appropriately nervous.


	12. Coffee and Confidants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity receive completely opposite advice from their friends.

            A few days later, Felicity decided she had to talk to Oliver about the whole _Wintergreen’s_ run-in. There was no escaping it and honestly, waiting around for him to say the first word was not going to prove itself beneficial to the situation. On one hand, she wanted fences to be mended because he was first and foremost her friend. She feared he thought she was embarrassed to be seen with him a la _Mean Girls_ , and that wasn’t the case at all. On the other hand, if she had to run coffee for Mr. Kord _one_ more time, she was going to have a hobo pee in his coffee beforehand. She had her project with Curtis to worry about, her current status as board member to keep up with, and her normal amount of tech support to assist with.

            In other words, she was under a lot of stress.

            “I think you’re going through withdrawal.” Curtis mused as he typed from the seat across from her. They’d gotten in the habit of doing their work in his office now, because it saved a lot of unnecessary walking time back and forth. Plus, she liked his company.

            “I don’t see how I could go through withdrawal when this is my fourth cup of the day and it’s only 11 am.”

            He looked up quickly. “First of all: I’m cutting you off right now. You’re going to have a heart attack. Secondly: I was talking about s-e-x with you know who.”

            A few passing coworkers wrinkled their brows in confusion at them and she huffed out a breath of exasperation.

            “Yeah, I’m sure the people we work with don’t know how to spell, Curtis. Also, I’m not doing the do with Voldemort.”

            “Just another guy with a big wand.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

            “That is-” Her upcoming rant was interrupted by her own burst of laughter. “That is very funny.”

            He joined in and they had to set their tech aside for a moment in fear of accidentally knocking everything over in the midst of cracking up. She dried the tears from her eyes and tried to avoid any fantasies involving Oliver and becoming a wizard and tried to return to her work.

            “But really though. How’s it been going with him?”

            “Actually…” She trailed off to adjust the line of a code before looking back up. “Actually, I haven’t seen or talked to him in a couple days.”

            “Well, that’s normal.” He sipped his coffee. “Has he been busy?”

            “I don’t know.” She shrugged. “It’s not like we’re in a relationship. So, I don’t really think its my place to ask.”

            “Felicity, if you want sex, do not fear the magic of the booty call.”

            “I fear no booty call! It’s just… We had an awkward interaction a couple days ago.”

            “Yikes… What’d he do in bed?”

            “Oh nothing of that sort! That’s been good. _Really really good._ ”

            “So what is it?”

            “We ran into each other at a bar and he knows all my friends from growing up and they’re all kind of on his ex’s side. I mean, they all feel bad for them, but they feel obligated to her. He looked super uncomfortable and I didn’t say anything and now everything is weird.”

            He picked up her phone and handed it to her. “Make it un-weird. As a guy, I can promise that a little booty goes a long way.”

            She winced. “Never say that again.”

            “Yeah, it felt weird.”

            “It did.”

* * *

 

 

            “Have you ever had a friends with benefit?” Oliver blurted out.

            Diggle, who was currently wiping down a piece of used equipment looked up at him in surprise and then around to see if Oliver was really talking to him. The gym was particularly empty and only about one or two people lingered around.

            “What about our previous interactions gave you the idea that we do this?”

            “I figured you’d want some explanation for the other night. I kind of left you hanging.”

            “Is this about those girls we ran into at the bar?”

            “I… Maybe.”

            “Hmm.” Diggle was silent for a little while and Oliver wondered if he should just walk away and carry on with his own duties, but sure enough, the typically-silent man stood up straight with a smile no less.

            “The girl with the glasses, right?”

            Okay, how’d he know that?

            “Man, the only other person who looked more terrified to be involved in that exchange was her. I thought she was going to throw up when she laid eyes on you.”

            “Not a typical reaction when girls see me.”

            Diggle huffed. “Whatever, man. Smooth as you make think you are, you are not. You ran out of that bar like you’d seen a ghost.”

            “I felt like I had. My ex-girlfriend’s sister was there too and it just felt… Gross.”

            “You do realize friends with benefits usually means you aren’t friends first, right?” He laughed. “Otherwise, you have to deal with all this interconnected bullshit.”

            “I haven’t talked to her in a couple of days. I think she’s avoiding me.”

            “Again, if someone raced in the other direction of me the way you did, I’d avoid them too.”

            “You’re not very supportive.”

            “I’m a trainer not a therapist.”

            “You never answered my question. Did you ever have one?”

            “Queen, I was in the military straight out of high school up until recently. I didn’t have time to mess around with girls. It was either the real deal or nothing at all.”

            “Yeah, well I had the real deal and that wasn’t enough.”

            “Real deal, huh? What, were you together since high school? Love at first sight? Captain of the football team and head of the cheerleading squad?”

            He knew he was making fun of him, but he still nodded his head, because all of those things had been true.

            “Seriously?” Diggle’s smile vanished from his face. “And you two lasted that long?”

            “Hey!”

            “The guy never walks away with the high school sweetheart. Ever.”

            “Well, you’re right about that one.”

            “Listen to me when I say this: that sex-buddy thing is not going to work out for you either.”

            “It’s been working so far.”

            “One of two things is going to happen. A. You fall in love with her and mess up your entire situation. B. She falls in love with you and you still mess up the entire situation.”

            Oliver furrowed his brow. “How come it’s me messing it up both times?”

            “She seems smarter.”

            “You didn’t even speak to her.”

            “Whether we like it or not, women are smarter. That’s the way it goes and the sooner we accept that the happier we will be.”

            “Slade thought this was a good idea.”

            “Slade? You took relationship advice from Slade? That man hasn’t had a date in years. Oliver, he gives girls coupons for the gym at restaurants. How would you like it if you were eating and someone basically told you that you needed to lose weight?”

            Oliver couldn’t argue with the logic that was being brought to his attention, but he really didn’t see himself falling in love with Felicity. It was _Felicity_.

            “You’re still going to keep doing what you’re doing aren’t you?”

            Yeah, yeah he was.

* * *

 

            “Stupid Ted making me get his stupid coffee for his stupid attractive face.” Felicity grumbled. The only thing she’d done with her recent promotion was act as Ted Kord’s personal coffee girl. He didn’t even use his EA that often anymore. He always plastered a fake smile on his face and use the good old “While you’re out, sweetheart, can you grab me a cup o’ joe? You’re the sweetest”. All the other members got to be involved in active discussions involving the direction of the industry, but her? No, she was playing barista.

            “Felicity?” A familiar voice dragged her from her thoughts.

            “Oliver!” She was relieved she didn’t sound as shocked and horrified to see him. “What are you doing here?”

            “Not playing shot pong, that’s for sure.”

            “Right. You’re getting coffee, because this is _Jitters_ and that’s what you do here. Not just you, everyone. Everyone gets coffee here.”

            He smiled. “You know, I never did get to buy you a drink last night. I was too busy…”

            “Running away from me and my friends, who just happen to consist of Laurel’s sister?”

            “Yes.” He relented. “I’m sorry for that.”

            “Don’t be. I swear I had one foot out the door when I saw you too. I didn’t mean to make that sound like I was embarrassed to see you… It’s just… I haven’t told any of my friends really.”

            “No, I get it.”

            “Not because I’m ashamed to be having sex with you. That is not it. At all. If anything, those roles should be reversed.”

            “Not at all.”

            “Anyway, I just wanted to keep everything separate so it doesn’t get too messy. Plus, I thought it would be weird what with Sara being Laurel’s sister… I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

            “It’s better that we keep a lot of people from knowing.” He agreed.

            The barista cleared her throat and they both turned to her with bright cheeks.

            “Oh, well, I’m sure we can trust you with our little secret.” She teased and when there was just an awkward blank stare in return, she shrugged.

            “That’s fair.”

            After Oliver ordered their coffees (she was still pleased to know he memorized her order), they sat at one of the stools, neither interested in going outside to face what awaited them. They decided this couldn’t be considered a date, because despite Oliver’s paying for her (it was more of a favor than a gesture, okay?), they hadn’t planned on meeting each other nor did they come together. It was just happenstance.

            “I was supposed to get coffee for my boss. Again.”

            “You’re not an executive assistant.”

            “Why don’t you remind him that? He doesn’t make any of the men do it. He doesn’t make them continue lower-grade duties either. Everyone is supposed to focus on projects in their field. I’m running the IT department and working on developments AND offering tech support. At least Curtis has been helping me.”

            “Curtis?” He hated himself for the twinge of annoyance in his voice.

            “Yeah, he’s a guy from work.” She breezed as if it were nothing.

            He bit the inside of his cheek to prevent pressing the topic and simply buried the sudden flare down and wrote it off to his own irritation at work.

            He sipped his coffee. “Felicity, you’re going to take over that entire company some day. The Ted Kord’s of the world are no good, just like the Ray Palmer’s. The Felicity Smoak’s, however, are very good. Good always beats evil.”

            She snorted. “Thank you for the education in storytelling, Mr. Queen. How’s work going for you?”

            “I’m basically a towel boy.”

            “Oh no!”

            “Yeah, Slade has a bunch of Vets working for him and they’re taking up all the spots as trainers. The only way I’m actually going to get business is if someone specifically asks for me.”

            She patted his bicep. “I mean, you’re your own prime example of your regime paying off. It’s like walking advertisement. Someone would be crazy not to train with you.”

            He smiled. “You haven’t seen the other guys.”

            Her jaw dropped. “Are they buffer than you? What are the hours of the gym?”

            He snatched her coffee away and raised an eyebrow expectantly at her. She reached out desperately and hopelessly to achieve the liquid perfection. They really did know how to make a good brew here. She couldn’t be parted with it before she met the bottom of the cup.

            “I’ll dump it.”

            “You wouldn’t!”

            “Don’t push me, Smoak.”

            “Fine! You’re the biggest, hottest, strongest guy ever. Every woman should be pouncing you and every man should be running the opposite direction upon seeing you.”

            He tentatively placed her coffee down as she wolfishly snatched it up again. He laughed at her, knowing full well that she was partially joking with her desperate need for caffeine. Then again, it was possible with how much she’d been working, she wasn’t joking after all.

            “Does this mean you want to train with me tonight?” He teased.

            She looked up from her cup and nodded coyly. “Absolutely. I mean, the barista here already knows. What do we have to lose?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow 400+ kudos! Thank you guys so much. I have been reading all the comments and really appreciate the positive feedback for my little story. You're all amazing and I hope you stick around, because even though this chapter was a bit more mellow, I have some crazy things over the horizon.


	13. Unwelcome Guests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone always seems to hold you up when you’ve got things (people) to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New subplot in this one!

            Oliver finished sculpting his facial hair over the sink, approving of what he saw in the mirror. It was well known that even though your sex-buddy wasn’t your romantic partner, it was always considerate to dress like they were. She’d let it slip once or twice during one of their rendezvous that she had a thing for his scruff. It was funny, because he hadn’t started growing it out until he and Laurel broke up. Laurel was more of a fan of clean-shaven guys, which made him want to grow out a beard all the more. It made things simpler that Felicity liked it.

            He put on a bit of cologne before moving to put on a dark grey sweater on top of his white t-shirt. He walked out of the bathroom to check and make sure he had enough provisions. She always had condoms, but he refused to run into that awkward position where one of them had to run to the store or worse, stop altogether.

            He was basically set to go, shoving his phone into his pocket before swinging his front door open. He couldn’t make it one step without running into his 16 year old sister, who stood in front of the door like she was about to knock.

            “Hey, bro! Going somewhere?”

            “Is that a rhetorical question, Speedy?”

            Her smile faltered and a disappointed slump formed. She was about milliseconds away from jutting out her lip in the perfect pout before Oliver took her by the arm and led her inside his humble abode. She chortled as he shut the door behind them and motioned for her to go on with whatever she clearly needed to say. Felicity would understand. This was family.

            “Dad’s back. Mom and him have been fighting for the past couple of hours and Roy isn’t answering my calls or texts. I just didn’t want to be alone.”

            “Thea, you’re never alone. Not while I’m still kicking.” He reached out his phone and texted Felicity, letting her know that he would be late and keep her updated on his arrival. Pros of not having a girlfriend: not worrying about being late.

            He guided her over to the couch and they sat side-by-side. Thea reached for the remote and turned Family Feud on for white noise. He watched his sister carefully, mentally noting if she’d been crying or had any signs of deeper fears hidden in her demeanor.

            “So, they’ve been fighting, huh?”

            “What else is new?” She snorted.

            “What’s it about this time?”

            “Dad brought Isabel home to the house.”

            “He did… what?” Oliver’s hands clenched around a defenseless pillow. He swore he would have ripped it to shreds had Thea not been right there.

            “They didn’t come inside or anything, but she walked him up to the front doorstep and she planted one right on his face, for all our security cameras to say. Cameras and reporters swarmed the sight.”

            “And what did mom do?”

            “She’s been crying more.” She trailed off. “I know she thinks I don’t hear her, but she does. It’s always around the same time every night. She thinks I’m asleep a few rooms over and she turns the TV on, but I can still hear the muffled sobs.”

            Oliver didn’t know who his heart broke more for. There was Thea, who had to endure the daunting tragedy of overhearing her own mother cry herself to sleep every night. Despite his annoyance at her staying, Oliver still felt a huge pang of pain for his mother as well. She was doing her best to fight through Robert’s disloyalty and to somehow come on top. No doubt, she was feeling herself grow cold from her act. It was heart wrenching.

            All he could think to do was pull Thea against him so she leaned into his chest. He rested his chin on the top of her head and tried to convey his sympathy and understanding through the simple embrace.

            “I think she’s seriously contemplating on leaving him.”

            “I hope so.”

            “Me too.” She mumbled. Thea took another moment to collect herself before sniffling and sitting up. She smiled at him through bright eyes.

            “Do you have a date tonight?”

            “No, no date.” He answered honestly, but he was sure there was a smile of his own that could be very misleading.

            “Then why are you wearing your special cologne?”

            “I don’t have special cologne!”

            “Yes you do. You always wore it on you and Laurel’s date--” She stopped the words from flowing the instant she realized she was only reminding him of what he didn’t have.

            “I’m going to need to get you some new stuff.” She shrugged. “Your birthdays in May. I’ll get you something that’ll be for this new girl.”

            “Thea, there’s no “new” girl.”

            “Look, you don’t have to tell me who it is. I know all about keeping things on the DL until they get more serious. Just be happy, Ollie.”

            He let all the air out through his nose before shaking his head. “You’re the only girl I need.”

            “Gross.” She wrinkled her nose before relenting and brimming with happiness. “I get what you mean, though.”

* * *

 

            “Pants or skirt?” Felicity wondered allowed to her empty apartment. She was relieved Oliver texted her asking for more time, because by the time she’d gotten home from work, it was well past seven and she hadn’t even taken a proper shower yet. He never explained why he would be running so late, but it wasn’t her place to ask. One of the pros about not having a boyfriend: not having to worry over stupid stuff.

            “I guess it’s not really going to matter in the long run.” She mused. “My floor will be wearing it longer than me.”

            When she began to laugh at her own joke, she cringed. “I really need to stop talking to myself, but more importantly, I need to stop answering too.”

            Her thoughts were interrupted when a soft patter came at her front door. Mrs. Robinson probably lost her cat again. She never understood why Felicity’s place was the first she always checked. Maybe because Felicity looked like she could easily develop into a cat lady. Either way, the woman had dementia and deserved some leeway.

            Her eyes widened when she opened the door to see Nyssa.

            “Hey… Nyssa? How are you?”

            “I know I don’t normally do this, but I need to talk to you, now.”

            Felicity could read the concern through Nyssa’s attempt at a stoic expression and stepped aside to let the raven-haired beauty past her threshold.

            She shut the door before internally wincing at the thought of Oliver showing up while Nyssa was still here. Nyssa would surely tip off the likely suspecting Sara and the world would metaphorically come crashing down.

            She turned to see Nyssa tactically examining each little animal glass figure Felicity kept on her mantel. You’d think they were artifacts from _Raiders of the Lost Ark_ and not cheap three dollar pieces she found at the thrift shop by how she handled each one.

            “Um.” She cleared her throat. “Is everything okay?”

            Nyssa turned to face her. “You’re one of Sara’s best friends.”

            “Yeah, I’d like to think so. I’d also like to think we’ve gotten kind of close too.”

            “I’m worried about her.”

            “Worried about her?” All thoughts of whimsical sex were officially out the window and replaced with the worst possible scenarios. She was pretty sure Nyssa hadn’t ever seen the inside any of her previous living arrangements nor had she ever really been alone in a room with her. This had to be serious.

            “She’s been particularly distant ever since the other night at the bar. Has she done anything strange lately?”

            “She took me to the high school. She wouldn’t tell me where we were going until we got there and she seemed very… somber.”

            “What did she say to you when you got there?”

            “We just talked about the past, specifically Oliver.”

            “And she seemed okay with all that?”

            “She seemed… off, but I didn’t attribute it to anything serious.” Truth be told, she paired Sara’s oddness with the possibility that she’d figured out her little secret. She hoped this didn’t make her a total narcissist, especially when her friend could be in trouble.

            “You’re kind of scaring me, Nyssa.”

            “I found Vertigo in one of her drawers.”

            “Vertigo? The drug?” Vertigo took the lives of hundreds of Starling city youths a couple years back. A dealer by the name of Count Vertigo ran a huge and violent business where he kidnapped people and forced them to become addicts. The side effects to the withdrawal were more lethal than the drug. It became a dependency.

            “I know all the dealing started at the high school. Your friend Oliver was part of that, was he not?”

            “Back in the day, we actually went to school with the original Count Vertigo and he had some long-standing hatred for Oliver and Tommy so he made it his personal vendetta to get them or something. Mr. Queen was rumored to have endorsed one of the earlier stages of the drug.” She sighed. “Oliver was still away at school when the actual overdoses were occurring.”

            “What happened?”

            “Vertigo went out in a blaze of glory.” She frowned. “Took about 12 teenagers with him.”

            “Oh…”

            “But you’re thinking its back in circulation?”

            “Sara had some. It must be.”

            “You realize that needs to go to the police. Even if Sara is addicted, they aren’t going to charge her with anything consider the usage is almost never voluntary. They just want to clean it up.”

            “Felicity, I know. I just want to talk to Sara first.”

            She nodded slowly. “Where do you think she is?”

            “She’s with Laurel now. I don’t know why she doesn’t want to see me.”

            “I don’t either.”

            A period of silence fell between them before Nyssa furrowed her brow.

            “I know why Sara felt so weird about seeing Oliver, because he’s Laurel’s ex and she broke his heart, right?”

            “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

            “Why were you?”

            “Why was I, what?”

            “Scared shitless at seeing your friend.”

            “Oh… Same reasons. I was drunk too. When I’m drunk I get panicky.”

            Felicity’s phone buzzed and she pulled it out to a text.

            _On my way._

Her heart lurched and tried not to appear distressed as Nyssa eyed her carefully.

            “Felicity, are you meeting with your fuck-buddy tonight?”

            “Uh… No!” She answered quickly. “I mean, I was, but I don’t have to anymore. I want to help you get to the bottom of all this business with Sara.”

            Nyssa shook her head. “No, it’s better if I work alone. I should probably go and check if she actually came home. I’ll let you know what I find out.”

            “Please do.”

            Vertigo being back was far from a good sign for Starling city. No one felt safe walking past alleys with that crud being involuntarily injected left and right into innocent victims. No one was safe and no one snitched.

            She hesitated before reaching down to send a text.

            _Be careful._

* * *

 

            Thea fell asleep on Oliver’s couch around 10, allowing him to tuck her in and sneak out to Felicity’s. He’d be back before morning and before she could suspect he was ever gone. He texted her that he was on his way before climbing into his car.

            He made it about halfway before his car made an annoying clanging sound and slowly rolled to a complete stop.

            He corrugated his face tightly. The gas meter read that he was on E.

            “Dammit.” He groaned and smacked his steering wheel.

            Oliver would have been willing to place his life on the bet that he just filled the tank up earlier that day. He went over the events of the day in his head. He went to work, got coffee with Felicity, stopped to grab gas, and went home to make dinner and get ready to leave. Yeah, he definitely got gas.

            To further prove his lack of insanity, he dug through his glove compartment and removed the receipt from that day.

            He sighed and got out of his car to push it up against the curb. He should at least move in case on coming traffic wanted to actually travel down the street successfully. He briefly considered calling Felicity and asking her to drive by and take him the rest of the way, but there was something utterly pathetic about that idea that made his skin crawl.

            It wasn’t that cold out and he only had a few blocks before he got to her place. At this point, he was pretty sure he’d be busier on the phone with a tow truck than any of the original activities he envisioned.

            He stuffed his hands in his pockets and began walking in the direction of her apartment. He’d walked there the night he’d ended things with Laurel and that was much longer and in December.

            He felt a twinge of sadness at the memory. Would there ever come a time where he could either think of that night and not feel like a shattered egg or not remember that night altogether? It seemed unlikely at this point. It had been over three months ago and yet the flashing images never left his mind. They barely looked remotely guilty, just surprised. It was like they wanted him to find out so they didn’t have to break it to him. Then, in two minutes, every memory was for nothing.

            Now, he was creating new memories and he had to credit himself for the space in between his spiraling internal breakdowns. That had to be improvement, right? He had a job, his own place, and was having regular sex. All of those things were completely different than they were three months ago, but different didn’t necessarily mean worse.

            He wondered what Tommy would say about the whole “no strings attached” scenario. He could bet money that the lively man would ecstatically give his stamp of approval. Tommy always wanted one and maybe that’s how it all started with Laurel, but developed into more. Either way, if his best friend wasn’t screwing his girlfriend and this was an alternate reality, he’d have a slew of weird questions.

            _“How does Felicity look naked? A weird part of me has always wondered.”_

_“Is she into kinky shit?”_

_“Did she tell you if Palmer has a small dick?”_

_“Who’s better in bed? Felicity or Laurel?”_

He’d probably tell Tommy to buzz off, because Oliver was never a fan of over-sharing when it came to sex. However, it was interesting to wonder how he would theoretically answer.

            Obviously, she looked amazing naked. She wasn’t exactly overly confident in her body, but she wasn’t tightly insecure either. She had no reason to be at all. They hadn’t quite explored anything in the realm of kinks, but he wasn’t about to immediately scratch that off as a no. Considering her initial reaction to seeing him completely naked, it was plausible to assume Ray wasn’t as well equipped as him. As for the last question, he was annoyed for thinking it up in the first place. Laurel was familiar, but Felicity was new. It wasn’t a decision he really wanted to make.

            He stopped, hearing a slight scuff of the pavement nearby. He turned around to examine his surroundings before seeing no one near. He shook his head.   

            “I really am going nuts.”

            He walked a little bit longer before this time, he heard a splash. It could have been a rat running through the sewer, but Yao Fei trained him long ago to utilize each and every sense to his own advantage. The step was far too heavy and rushed to be a simple rat. The way the water kerplunked implied that it was too deep as well.

            Someone was following him.

            This suspicion didn’t have time to marinate, for the whipping sound of a fist traveling through midair arrive all too quickly. Still, Oliver flipped around and caught the fist in one hand before kicking back at the approaching guest behind him. He twisted the man’s hand before snatching what appeared to be a needle from his hand and breaking it over his knee.

            He flung a fist at the second attacker and landed it, but the other grabbed him and rammed him back against the car door, breaking glass. Oliver swallowed a reaction and shoved the man to the ground. He didn’t stay there long, because his friend gave him a moment to recuperate by tackling Oliver.

            After wrestling on the pavement for a while, he swiftly pinned the man down and pulled his arm behind his back in one smooth snap.

            He screamed in pain and Oliver hurried to his feet to meet his recovered original foe.

            A third and larger member barreled out of the dark alley and chucked a trashcan their way, but it missed Oliver by a hair and instead struck a parked car behind them, setting off an alarm. Oliver quickly grabbed the lid and swung it over the first attacker’s head, sending him to the ground with a thud. Unfortunately, he hadn’t accounted for a fourth man. Then again, he couldn’t see the fourth man until the gunshot went off and Oliver slumped to the ground. The bigger guy with the trashcan used one arm for fallen friends and yanked them to their feet.

            “Did you get him?”

            “No, he broke it!”

            “He broke my arm!”

            “Whatever. Let’s get out of here before people wake up.” Oliver couldn’t tell which it was, but one of the men, for good measure, swiftly kicked him in the face and thus blacking him out with one fleeting thought of consciousness. That thought consisted of a single sentence he heard in the escaping distance.

            “Palmer is gonna kill us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of Olicity interaction in this one, but it had to be done. Obviously Oliver lives and all but... Plot-twists are cool, right?


	14. Emergency Contacts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s nothing like waking up from a nightmare to a different kind of nightmare. However, sometimes nightmares take a positive twist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You asked for Tommy Merlyn...

            “I think he’s waking up.” A harsh whisper and a consistent beeping resonated through his inner ear. They were distant, but approaching sounds that gave the illusion he was underwater and approaching the surface. His eyes fluttered open and were nearly blinded by silhouettes and early sunlight. He was no longer face down on the cold pavement

            “I think you’re right.” The woman’s voice was easily recognizable and though he could feel reality soaking in, he still questioned whether or not he was dreaming.

            He blinked a few times in an attempt to achieve some sort of steadiness and tried his focus on the two people that stood in front of his bed. He was in the hospital, obviously, because the brawl ending in gunshot was no nightmare, but he couldn’t piece together how he got here.

            Or why Tommy and Laurel were looking at him like nothing had ever changed, when he knew this to be completely opposite of the truth.

            “Hey, Ollie.” She said softly. It was the way people often spoke to newborn babies or puppies. Gentle, so the harmless creature wouldn’t stir.

            “Hi?” His voice was gravelly, but he still conveyed the right amount of confusion for the situation at hand.

            “We were surprised to see that we’re still you’re emergency contacts.” Tommy offered and Oliver internally smacked himself for never changing that.

            “Then again, you haven’t been in the hospital since your appendix burst three years ago.” Laurel added with a slight smile. “You always hated going to the doctors.”

            “Took a lot of coaxing.”

            Oliver looked between the two of them as they casually chatted about Oliver’s notorious distaste for hospitals as if they were sitting at a bar throwing back fond memories. As if this was normal behavior.

            “We’re actually kind of glad we could see you.” She sighed.

            “Yeah, it’s been a while.”

            They certainly made sure of that, didn’t they? Although he most likely wouldn’t have spoken to them anyway, neither made an effort to reach out and check how he was doing. There were no missed calls, no texts, no messages transferred via some of their mutual friends. Then again, Tommy and Laurel kept all of them.

            He was still too groggy to speak much, so he reluctantly let them get their piece out.

            “Oliver...” Laurel sat on the edge of his bed and his eyes flickered to her position and then to himself. Her being this close to him still made him twitch with false anticipation and he bit down on his lip to prevent his hands from reaching for her.

            “You’re spiraling.”

            Those words snapped him out of his trance and upright. Unfortunately, he made a sharp movement of his leg and was reminded of the persistent pain in his thigh.

            “Laurel…” Tommy winced at her cutthroat bluntness. The man just woke up from being shot to the only two people he probably hated more than his shooter. He wasn’t going to enjoy being nagged by them.

            “I’m… what?” He forced out, ignoring his former friend.

            “I’ve been talking to your mother- we’ve been talking to your mother. You’re getting wasted at bars, sleeping around, getting into fights?”

            Oliver gripped the sheets of his bed until his knuckles matched their bright whiteness. His anger was divided in three sections. For one thing, his mother was still in frequent contact with his ex-girlfriend, second, the very same ex and his former best friend thought it was a good idea to remind him how sucky his life was because of them, and lastly, Ray Palmer had a man shoot him.

            “It’s none of your business what I do now.” He gritted.

            “Ollie, we love you. We want you to be happy.”

            His heart split all over again at the realization that that was the closest he would ever come to having Laurel Lance tell him she loved him ever again. Granted, the last few times were seeded with dishonesty and infidelity, but he’d heard them just the same.

            “Love me? You two went behind my back. You were my best friends in life and you saw no trouble in constantly betraying me.”

            “We never meant to hurt you.”

            “That doesn’t matter! You still did. You knew this would, too.”

            “It all happened so fast and…”

            “Can you stop trying to defend yourself, here?” He snapped. “I was shot. I’m pretty sure it was attempted murder and all you can do is sit before me and nag me about how I’m doing everything wrong and whine about how nothing is ever your fault. Because it never is, is it? Perfect Dinah Laurel Lance never does anything wrong.”

            “Watch it, Ollie.” Tommy stepped forward at the sight of Laurel’s developing tears.

            “Now I’m afraid, because Tommy Merlyn is here. Tommy Merlyn has _always_ been there, hasn’t he? He’s always been lingering and I thought it was because he was my best friend, but no. He was actually just trying to move in on my girlfriend. What a gentleman.”

            “We deserve this. I know we do, but that doesn’t mean we want to see you sink, Oliver. You can think it all you want, but I didn’t plan this. I didn’t plan on falling in love with her. I just did. I don’t want you to become…”

            “Become what?”

            “I don’t want you to become your father.” He swallowed. “I don’t want you to become bitter.”

            Ah yes, because Robert Queen had been callous ever since he found out that Thea Queen was not his daughter, but Malcolm Merlyn’s daughter from a one-night stand years before. Robert had just had his first affair and was ridden with guilt. He was drunk and couldn’t remember the event, but Moira caught them bumping uglies in bed and turned to the arms of the conniving Malcolm.

            “I might as well.” He spat. “You’ve already become yours.”

            Those words were poison to Tommy’s ears and Oliver knew it. It was a line he’d never crossed growing up, knowing how terrible and vile Malcolm Merlyn was. He’d essentially neglected Tommy his entire childhood, after Mrs. Merlyn was killed in the Glades. Malcolm became ruthless and Tommy would often stay over the Queen’s during his brief visits home from whichever island he’d escaped to.

_“I don’t ever want to become like him.” 11 year old Tommy sniffled as he and Oliver sat in their tree house._

_“You won’t.”_

_“You’re lucky. Your dad is such a good guy.”_

_“Yeah, I am lucky.”_

_“I wish I had a family. You know, a real one.”_

_Oliver wrapped his arm around him. “You do.”_

            So, Oliver knew which kind of punch he was throwing, but only felt a small twinge of guilt for the way Tommy slightly doubled back. His mouth was slightly agape and all color had drained from his face.

            “Tommy…” Laurel begged as the dark-haired man stumbled out of the room.

            “I hope you’re happy with yourself.” She flared. “You know how much that hurts him. You know better than anyone what you’ve just done.”

            “I’m not happy.”

            “Good.” She snapped before getting up and storming after her boyfriend.

            Oliver leaned back in his bed, fluttering his eyes shut again as a chill shivered up his spine. He remembered feeling that a lot whenever she left him alone in bed, whether it is on good terms or bad. She kept him warm, but he could no longer depend on such heat. He had to find other sources of energy.

* * *

 

            Felicity had fallen asleep on the couch shortly after Nyssa left. She didn’t know what it was, but apparently all those trips back and forth to Jitters ran her dry. She panicked as she launched up, scrambling for her phone to see a few messages. None of them were from Oliver, but that only heightened the panic in her stomach. He probably looked in the window and saw her passed out.

_Dear God, I’m pathetic._

            Even so, she grabbed the remote and flicked on the morning news before getting up to pour herself a bowl of cereal. She was very quickly becoming the _worst_ sex-buddy of all time and that was not a title she enjoyed upholding. She would have to call him and embarrassingly apologize profusely for her exhaustion and promise to make it up to him. It wasn’t that she owed him anything, but she wanted to make it up to him.

_“… Neighbors reported gunshots on the corner of 21 st Street and Shado Boulevard…”_

            Felicity’s head shot up to the reporter on screen, who was standing in front of a yellow-taped crime scene that existed right down the street from her.

            “I slept through _gunshots_?” She shook her head in amazement. “I’m lucky we’ve yet to endure nuclear warfare.”

 _“The alleged attackers ganged up on the victim as another shot from quite a large distance.”_ Detective Lance, Laurel and Sara’s dad, was on screen. _“It appears they were trying to get him with this.”_

            Felicity’s eyes widened as Lance held a broken syringe to the camera.

_“Do you think it could be the works of Count Vertigo?”_

_“No comment.”_

_“No one died, but the victim was shot in the leg and is now in moderate condition at the Starling City General Hospital.”_

            She sighed. “What is this world coming to?”

            She decided now was as appropriate time as ever to call Oliver. It would be like ripping an embarrassing Band-Aid off.

            She was more than relieved that the call went to voicemail, but then realized rambling was not something anyone appreciated over voicemail. She would have to at least attempt at being concise.

            “Hey, Oliver it’s me… Felicity. I’m guessing you knew that, because of caller ID and all, but anyway, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I know we had plans to you know… do the horizontal tango. As lame as it sounds, I passed out on my couch. I guess all that coffee I’ve been drinking really isn’t…” She trailed off as her eyes returned to the TV screen and saw Oliver Queen’s face pop up beside one of the other reporters.

_“We’ve just received confirmation that Oliver Queen, son of billionaire and CEO of Queen Consolidated, Robert Queen, is the victim of the shooting.”_

            “What the fuck? You’ve been shot?” She screeched. “Oh my God, you’ve been shot. Holy shit. Oh holy shit. Here I am talking about falling asleep and having sex when you’ve been shot! Are you okay? Why am I talking to your voice mail like you’re going to answer me? I’m coming right now.”

            She hung up her phone, but her hands were shaking so desperately that she’d accidentally dropped it into her bowl of cereal.

            “So much for being magically delicious.” She grumbled as she struggled to get dressed and grabbed her car keys off the counter.

* * *

 

            “Mr. Queen, you have another visitor.” Jeff, his nurse smiled as Oliver gently smacked his head against the pillow.

            “Please tell me it isn’t my mother or father.” He really didn’t need two more people coming to rant at him while he just tried to get some sleep.

            “No, it’s your wife.” He said simply before stepping out of the room to give him some privacy. Oliver did not miss the wink he shot him before exiting altogether.

            “My… wife?” Did he enter a cosmic universe where he was not only in the wrong for his situation with Laurel and Tommy, but also married? He didn’t have a ring on his finger, but maybe in this universe that wasn’t a requirement.

            Next thing he knew, Felicity Smoak came through the entryway holding… a football?

            “Hey!” She fluttered her fingers in a small wave before smiling sheepishly. “I told the doctors that we were married in case they had restrictions on who could visit you.”

            “And you were planning on trying out for the ‘49ers afterwards?”

            She furrowed her brow in confusion before remembering what was in her hands. She began laughing and set the ball down on his bedside table.

            “Oh, yeah. I stopped at the store and you wouldn’t believe it, but they were completely out of flowers. I mean, they still had roses, but I… I didn’t want that to be weird, because roses are the flowers of _love_ and that’s just… Yeah.”

            “So, you got the next best thing.” He laughed heartily and it was the first time he’d done that since before the accident.

            The way his eyes shined in amusement made her flutter. She was honestly just relieved to see that he appeared fairly put together aside from some cuts and bruises and of course the gunshot wound on his upper thigh. Her anxiety hadn’t cooled until the doctors reported that he wasn’t in intensive care anymore and was just in a regular hospital room, awake and resting.

            “I was kind of worried you were going to be Laurel and Tommy again.”

            “Laurel and Tommy came?” Uh-oh.

            “It didn’t end well.” He glazed over it and for a moment, there was a flicker of sadness in him, but when he glanced back at the football near him, he radiated like there’d never been a reason to be sad.

            She took the liberty of sitting at the foot of his bed, not too close, but not too distant. One con to being friends with benefits: being constantly careful of what you’re doing.

            “I’m really sorry this happened.”

            He shrugged. “I fought most of them off. If there hadn’t been another coward hiding, I would have made it to you safely.”

            He didn’t mean to make it sound remotely romantic, but it kind of did. Especially knowing what he knew, it sounded like he was dominated by the army of her ex-betrothed in order to reach her, the safe haven, as quickly and unscathed as possible.

            She absentmindedly patted his good leg. “I fell asleep on the couch. If I were awake, I probably could have-”

            “-Put yourself in danger? I’m glad this happened the way it did.” He met her eyes earnestly. “This wasn’t your fault. This was… Well, this was someone else’s fault.”

            He glanced away quickly and she felt the air grow chilled between them. He suddenly wouldn’t meet her eyes and was fiddling with one of his blankets as a means to distract himself, to forget she was there.

            “What is it?”

            “Hmm?”

            “Oliver. Who did this to you?”

            “I didn’t want to tell you like this…”

            “Tell me now.”

            “Ray.”

            “Ray?”

            “Ray had those guys go after me. I heard them say his name as they walked away. You have to believe me. I know you don’t want to think of him as that kind of--”

            “--I believe you.”

            “You do?”

            “You wouldn’t lie to me. He would.” She said simply. “He has.”

            “I already told the police everything. They have to investigate more before they make an hasty moves.”

            “Do you think he’s going to try again?”

            “I don’t know. Virtually, he can at any time.”

            “You can’t stay at your place.”

            “What?”

            “Oliver, obviously he’s gunning for you. He won’t come for me.”

            “How do you know that?”

            “Because no matter how weird and terrible, he still cares for me.”

            “What are you suggesting?”

            “I’m saying you should stay with me until this all pans out.” When she noticed the way his eyebrows raised, she felt like she was boiling under bright lights. She partially regretted she even said anything. Well, kind of. On one hand, his safety took obvious precedence over whatever situation-ship they were currently participating in, but it was easy to see how this could be a potential disaster.

            “Doesn’t that break our sleepover rule?” He asked cheekily.

            “I think we can safely put the rules on pause until you’ve recovered. It’s not like we’ll be doing anything of _that_ sort anyway.”

            He pouted. He really did. Oliver Queen freaking pouted and it was undeniably beyond precious.

            “Really?”

            “Don’t even think about it, pal.”

            “We are missing some nurse-related themed opportunities.”

            “Which we can revisit when you don’t have a gaping hole in your leg.” She wanted to sound aggravated at his persistence, but all she could do was stupidly laugh at him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you this Vertigo situation would set up big things for Olicity. Perhaps give them a little tiny push?
> 
> Also, I just joined tumblr! If you guys could be so wonderful as to follow me. It'll be completely dedicated to my fics and some stuff will stay exclusively on tumblr (like tumblr prompts) but a lot of the stuff on here as well as update information will be available too. If you guys wanted to message me at any time, that would most likely be the place (:
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://arrowheadproductions.tumblr.com/)


	15. Roomies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven days in heaven or seven days in hell?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More like seven days in sexual tension.

“Felicity, I swear, I’m only going to be here for a week. I don’t want to you to put out.” Oliver sighed as they crossed the threshold of her apartment. He had a gym bag slung over his shoulder. When she picked him up, she was more than mesmerized that guys could pack so lightly and be okay for the entire week.

            She froze in her tracks and stared up at him. “Um… I think you meant “put me out” because otherwise, I’m doing something wrong.”

            He averted his eyes by turning completely away from her to walk ahead, but she could still see the tips of his ears flushed with heat.

            She smirked in satisfaction that for once, she hadn’t been the one to verbally vomit. Maybe she was rubbing off on him. She huffed, as she felt sorry for the guy. If he was absorbing one of her qualities, he certainly didn’t choose her best.

            “You aren’t putting me out, anyway.” She assured. “I’m sure detective Lance will do his best to sort this whole thing out.”

            He dropped the bag near her couch. “Doubtful. That guy has always hated me.”

            “Why?”

            “I took his daughter’s virginity. That doesn’t exactly place me in the “well-liked” list.”

            “A. Laurel was there too and made her own decisions B. That was ages ago C. He’s supposed to uphold the law regardless of who he’s defending.”

            “… And I kind of peed on his cop car.”

            “He was the arresting officer? Oliver, why would you pee on your girlfriend’s father’s car?”

            “I was drunk!”

            “Drunk not brain-dead!”

            He sighed. “I might as well have been. I barely even remember that night except for that part. Tommy was going to do it too, but Lance came too quickly.”

            She shook her head. “Boys are idiots.”

            He was about to refute her claim, when his eye caught onto an abandoned bowl of soggy cereal. Unmistakably, there was an object floating to the surface, upside down. He walked over and looked down and then back up at her sheepish face.

            “Felicity…”

            “The prizes at the bottom of those things are really improving.” She tried as he plucked her drenched phone from the bowl and placed it on a napkin.

            Oliver laughed and it was a joyous sound that filled her apartment with certain warmth that felt noticeably absent when she was alone. She smiled softly and popped a squat at one of the barstools. He should be the one sitting, but he complained about how his long legs had cramped from staying in a hospital bed for the past 24 hours.

            “Do you think Ray is the new distributer of Vertigo?”

            He shrugged. “The guys that attacked me definitely worked for him and were trying to inject me with that stuff, but it’s hard to say if he’s the boss or just somehow involved…”

            “… Or an addict.”

            Oliver paused and thought back to his week working for Palmer. The man had been acting stranger than usual and definitely accumulated a lot more sweat than he’d ever seen on a businessman. He was jittery and always drinking exuberant amount of what he thought was coffee, but then again, people on the previous incarnates of Vertigo were always extremely thirsty.

            His internal analysis must have been obvious, because when he snapped back into reality, Felicity was staring at him with a curious look on her face.

            “Care to share with the class there, roomie?”

            “I wonder if Ray’s restraining order on me went through…”

            “Uh, no. Nope! Nada. You are not, under any circumstances going to investigate. We both know you’re not going to be able to keep your hands to yourself and this is all going to get _very_ messy. Messier.”

            “I can assure you, I’m not trading you in as my sex-buddy for Ray Palmer. He’s got one body part too many and seems to only think with it, too.”

            “Oliver Queen, you have a bullet wound in your leg, a police investigation is ongoing, and Ray very well could have one of those goons actually get you. I’m confining you to a bed. You shouldn’t even be standing.”

            “You’re momming me really hard right now, Felicity.”

            “If you even think about going to see him, I’m never having sex with you again.”

            He was silent and frankly, quite dumbstruck at her quickness to play that card. He was slightly impressed. Though she already promised they wouldn’t be fooling around this week, he did like their arrangement a lot. He knew she had his best interests in mind and if he had his own best interests in mind, he’d listen to what she said.

            “Well?”

            “My mom hasn’t ever played that card.” He quipped and she smacked his shoulder playfully.

            “So you’ll be good?”

            “I’ll be good.” He agreed. “Just so we’re clear, I like it when you get bossy.”

            He somehow hobbled passed her with a confident strut that she’d never seen on a man who was shot before. A wry grin tugged at his stupid perfect lips and he headed back to the spare bedroom to set up camp. She hated how good he looked in jeans and she hated herself more for putting the sex ban on for the week. It was sensible, logical, and safe, but what did that matter when Oliver Queen would be sleeping ten feet away from you?

            He was more tired than he thought when he passed out and stayed out for the remainder of the evening. Felicity was both relieved and disappointed by this. On one hand, it was odd not interacting in the slightest when you had a guest, but on the other hand, she was free to binge-watch _The Walking Dead_ as much as her little heart pleased.

* * *

 

            She knew day two would be interesting, given day two was her day off and he wasn’t going to work this week thanks to the hole in his thigh. When she left for the store, he was still asleep in the back. She swore to herself that if he wasn’t awake when she came home, she was going back there to check for a pulse.

            Oliver woke up in a hazy daze around 11 am and cringed as he realized he’d slept 15 hours. He groaned at the memory of the wound in his leg, but his strife didn’t take precedence over how fresh and soft the sheets he slept on were. They reminded him of Felicity in a way. In fact, everything in her apartment screamed _her_ in the best possible ways. He couldn’t even put his finger on it, but she knew herself and knew how decorate accordingly.

            He slipped his feet over the side of the mattress and forced himself up and out of bed. The carpet was soft under his bare feet and he yawned as he made his way out to the general living area. He walked past Felicity’s room, one of which he had many pleasant memories. It looked different in daylight, with the sun shining through and illuminating every bright detail. He smiled and turned to see she was nowhere to be found.

            She came back with an abundance of brown shopping bags and clumsily slammed the door behind her. The bags were obstructing her view, but she could be heard grumbling about crotchety cashiers and how ACME truly needed to carry more helpings of frozen French bread pizza.

            “I agree.” He said and she jumped back and quickly dropped her bags on the counter and looked up at him in shock. For a brief moment, she forgot he was here. However, she was heavily reminded of that now that he stood in her living room very present and very shirtless. She gave herself only a fleeting second to glance over him, because the man definitely deserved at least a second, but soon returned to the prospect of groceries.

            “Wait--” He started as she began furiously pulling boxes of French bread pizza out of the bags. Most of her counter took up boxes of pizza. “Are you sure they were low on stock or did you eat out the whole store?”

            “I like to take people on dates before I do that.” She retorted and he outwardly laughed at her wit. Despite her smile at his response, it didn’t slow down her mission of unpacking.

            “Do you need any help?”

            “As much as you look fit for the job, which fit is actually an understatement, I’ve got this.”

            He approached her counter and leaned on it once it was cleared of frozen food.

            “So, really, any reason you’re stocking up?”

            “Oh! This brand is going out of stock and this is my _favorite_ brand of French bread pizza. I have a freezer in storage where I have every intention of hiding some of my treasures for bad days when I need it.”

            “You’re obsessed.”

            “Galeano’s French bread pizza is worth it and you would know that if you were cultured and not used to “real Italian pizza” from “Italy”. It’s a sin how deprived you were.”

            He laughed, but she wasn’t wrong about the whole “real Italian pizza” thing, because growing up, his father would literally have famous Italian chefs make them pizza and that was “pizza night”. Felicity, on the other hand, grew up eating French bread pizzas with her mother at the casino. Different worlds.

            “Are you going to let me continue to live such a unsatisfied life?”

            She pursed her lips. “I don’t know… They’re going out of stock. Am I really going to share one of my last Galeano’s French bread pizzas with a virgin?”

            “You know very well that’s not true.”

            “You’re a Galeano’s pizza virgin, Oliver and you’re lucky I’m a good person.”

            “Does that make you a slut?”

            That earned him a smack in the face with a dishtowel.

* * *

 

            Day three started at midnight exactly and that was when Felicity was finally able to get the pizzas in the oven. Oliver was nestled on the couch, now dressed and gaping at Felicity’s vast movie collection.

            “No wonder you need glasses.”

            “What’s that supposed to mean?”

            “Your eyes are always glued to a screen.”

            “Well yours are always glued to huge, sweaty men and you don’t see me making fun of you.”

            “There are women too.”

            “Fine, huge sweaty women are welcome too.”

            “I could never sit still through any of these movies.”

            “And yet you’ve watched _Die Hard_ and _Rocky_ how many times?”

            “That’s different. Those are American classics.”

            “So are _Star Wars_ , _Titanic, Jurassic Park,_ and _The Breakfast Club._ ”

            He rolled his eyes. “Some people are _Titanic_ people and some people are _Godfather_ people. It’s the way the world works.”

            “Um, no. I like both. I just have a diverse movie palate. Unlike some people.”

            “I have a diverse movie palate!”

            She stepped in front of his gaze and he only eyed in her amusement, following the length of her body from where he sat. “Name one movie you love that doesn’t include some dude beating the shit out of some other dude.”

            He paused before the first movie popped into his head. “ _The Fox and the Hound._ ”

            Her mouth hung open somewhere between amusement and shock, but eventually a burst of laughter filled the room and it wasn’t long before she was digging in her movie collection and pulling the old tearjerker out. The two sat side-by-side two couch cushions apart while the fox and the hound parted ways. The pizza was forgotten about in the midst of tears and was only remembered when the smoke-alarm went off and Oliver had to fan it while Felicity disposed of the black brick.

            He was pretty sure she started to cry more because of it, but he decided to pretend like he didn’t see that. When it was all said and done, Oliver pulled out his phone and ordered a pizza from this late night place he knew of.

            They argued about what they wanted on it for about an hour. It was practically a screaming match. Felicity turned blue in the face from the lack of oxygen thanks to yelling at the infuriating man. He was towering over her in height, nose to nose with the small blonde and filled with equal anger.

            How could someone take so long deciding what they wanted? It wasn’t like there were thousands of different combinations nor was she a picky eater. She’d most likely enjoy whatever they got, but dear lord, he was going to kill her if she didn’t make up her mind. He might really kill her and her definitely made his annoyance verbal, which only heightened her indecisiveness and her rage, saying he was an impatient dumbass with a control complex.

            Things eventually got a bit _too_ heated and both felt a different kind of problem developing in the midst of their bizarre fight. Their chests were heaving, eyes ablaze, bodies pressed up against one another. It would be all too easy…

            Instead, it was Felicity who made the first move and walked past him to bed.

* * *

 

            On day four, Felicity was called into work at the last minute and was up too early to even see Oliver. She left him a note with a half-hearted apology on it and detailed that there was stuff in the fridge if he wanted to put breakfast together for himself.

            When she returned that night, she was surprised to find an array of wonderful smells and warmth. As she took in the entire spectrum, her eyes widened in amazement as Oliver Queen stood in her kitchen, donning an apron, oven mitts, and holding a spatula.

            “Did you eat? I put together breakfast like you said.”

            “I meant for you.” She laughed. “And in the morning-time.”

            “Don’t tell me you’ve never had brinner.” He gasped.

            “Oh I’ve had brinner.” She mused. “But it’s never looked like this.”

            Her idea of brinner was her mom’s burned pancakes and maybe a bowl of cereal. Yeah, the Smoak women did not write cooking as one of their specialties. She did know how to eat and was always eager for great food, which was usually a dilemma of sorts unless she went out to eat… Or apparently had Oliver staying over her house.

            “I didn’t even know you cooked.”

            “Oh yeah, I used to help Raisa all the time. It was kind of my happy place when everything was going on with my parents.”

            She furrowed her brow as she sipped orange juice from a wine glass. It was all very ornate, but she couldn’t complain, because any residual frustration in him melted away like the butter on her delicious, fluffy pancakes.

            “Your parents?”

            “Yeah, my dad isn’t exactly… loyal to my mom and my mom puts up with it. She’s had her fair share of suitors too, but I think that’s just to get through it all.”

            “I never knew that.” She said softly.

            He shrugged, but she could tell it was eating him up inside. He moved to scrap more eggs on his plate in order to avoid her gaze, but she only stared further, wondering what else she didn’t know about him.

            After dinner, she helped him clean up and they got onto the topic of TV shows. Felicity explained that she was currently catching up on _The Walking Dead_ , but as far as big-primetime shows went, her favorite was _Game of Thrones._ He commented that he’d never seen it before and that’s how she physically dragged him to the couch and they stayed up until 3 am watching season 1, one couch cushion apart.

* * *

 

            

          Oliver began to pick up on Felicity’s everyday ticks by day five. When she had work she showered at seven am every day like clockwork. Before her shower, she always threw her towel in the drier so it could be “warm and fluffy” for her when she got out. When she was off, she usually rolled into the shower around 10. She always slept in a t-shirt and colorful pajama bottoms. She made her coffee with hot chocolate packets and ate a banana every day before work. When she came home from work, her heels were always in her hands already and her immediate reaction was to throw them in the nearest corner.

            His favorite part of her daily ritual was when she got back into one of her many pairs of pajama pants and a different baggy t-shirt. She was so casual with him that it made him feel welcome. She’d flop on the couch with a little thud (whether he was in the way or not) sans makeup, and hair in a ponytail. Chances were, she had the movie or show long picked out before she hit this spot and always followed through no matter how tired she was.

            After that, she’d go to bed around 11 and they’d part ways for the evening.

            Tonight, he stirred, because for a moment, he swore he heard something. He muted the TV and waited to hear a second sound to assure he wasn’t just exhausted. When another scratching came at the door, he flinched again. This time, there was a loud bang outside in the hallway and this sent him into hyper-protective mode. No way were those guys getting in a good shot this time.

            He launched himself to the guest room and grabbed a bat he’d brought without Felicity’s knowing. There was no way he was going to be completely unarmed after being shot and left for dead on the pavement. He wouldn’t bring that kind of danger to Felicity without being at least slightly prepared.

            He breathed for a moment, centering himself and trying to remember Yao Fei’s teachings about weapons. He’d worked with swords as a kid, but was taught that anything could be made into one with the proper battle technique. He gripped the handle of the door and looked through the peephole. There was no one to be found, but Oliver knew better than that. All it took to evade the peephole was to hide along the side wall adjacent to the door.

            He swung it open and raised his bat in preparation, but stopped slowly at the sight of a black cat walk down the hall.

            He lowered his weapon and carefully looked both ways, relieved no one saw him. His mind changed when she turned to see Felicity, who had her hands on her hips and an eyebrow cocked.

            “I'm so glad I have you here to protect me from kitty-cats.”

 

* * *

 

 

            On day six, Felicity had her book club and her friend Iris was coming over to pick her up. Iris begrudgingly agreed to be the designated driver for the night, but her annoyance vanished when she walked into Felicity’s place to see Oliver Queen making what appeared to be lasagna at her stove.

            Iris beamed. “Hi, Oliver. I didn’t expect to see _you_ here.”

            He smiled at her. “Oh, hey! You’re Iris, right? I’m sorry about that night. I was pretty drunk…”

            “Oh, God, same.” She laughed. “Um, I’m really glad to see that your leg is doing better. Has that… Has that given you much trouble?”

            “Not really.” He shrugged. “It was just a flesh wound.”

            “You’re really brave for fighting off all those guys. I go to your gym, so I wasn’t really surprised when I heard you…” She motioned the act of karate chops before smiling bashfully.

            Felicity soon walked out in tight jeans and a leather jacket that made his heart climb into his throat.

            “Wow, you look great.” Oliver stared at her chest, which was generously offering a decent amount of cleavage in the black top she was wearing. He knew he should have been more careful with the unknowing Iris standing in the doorway, but it was such an instant reaction that he couldn’t help it.

            Her heart skipped at the compliment and the way he hungrily stared at her, again, making her mad at herself for the (practical, intelligent, sane) ban, but she couldn’t help but give him a pointed glare for how unabashedly he stared. Try to be a little more discrete, Queen.

            Iris didn’t notice much, because she was in too much of a puddle of drool from staring at Oliver while he cooked. She would know, it’s mesmerizing, especially when he did it sleeveless, but that didn’t mean Iris could ogle at it for too long. She gently took her friend by the hand and led her out of the apartment.

            “See you later, Oliver.” She threw over her shoulder and hoped he stared at her ass in her new jeans.

            He waved and did just that until she was completely out of sight and the door was closed.

* * *

 

 

            Felicity got home after day seven technically already started. Oliver was on the couch, watching what appeared to be _Rocky II_ with a beer bottle in his hand. By the look in his eyes, he’d had a few of those and she could wholeheartedly relate.

            “Hey, how was book club?” The teasing tone never left his voice, but he was interested enough to look up as Rocky beat Apollo Creed in a knockout so she decided to spill. Plus, she was a bit drunk and easier to coax into gossiping.

            “Weird.” She dropped next to him on the couch, about a half a couch cushion away from him. “We talked about you a lot.”

            “Me?” He pointed to himself with his beer bottle.

            “Yeah. Iris asked if you were single, Sara asked if you were okay, and Nyssa asked if they got the guy. My answers were: yes, yes, and an unfortunate no.”

            “You told Iris I was single?”

            “Well, you are.” She turned towards him, her knee brushing against his thigh. She paused when she noticed his slight discomfort.

            “I mean, what should have I said?”

            “No, you said the right thing. It would have been pretty suspicious if you said no or that you didn’t know, considering I’ve been staying with you.”

            “I hope I didn’t oversell the whole “separate beds” thing too much tonight.” She popped her lips. “I tend to oversell when I drink.”

            He chuckled. “Well, good news is, you won’t have to oversell it anymore, because tomorrow/today makes a week.”

            “Oh.” She fell uncharacteristically silent.

            “Yeah.”

            “You don’t- I mean… I’m not pushing you out.”

            “You’ve been an excellent hostess.” He patted her hand. “This has felt more like home in a week than my actual apartment or my family’s house has felt in… ever.”

            The words hung in the air and she allowed them to sink in while he delicately stroked the top of her hand with his hardened thumb.

            “Today’s day seven.” She finally broke the silence between them as if she’d just had a great epiphany that would change the world as they knew it.

            “Yeah, it is.”

            She gently placed both hands on his shoulders and used him to stable herself as she crawled into his lap to straddle him, wary of the thick Band-Aid that could be felt through his sweatpants. As she settled on top of him, that wasn’t the only thing she could feel through his sweatpants. His large hands settled on her lower back as she began to rock back and forth against him. He internally noted that she was negative one couch cushions apart from him.

            “It most certainly is.” He repeated with a slight gasp in his throat when her body applied more pressure.

            He reached up and languidly slid the leather jacket off of her, enjoying every second of the reveal of what lie underneath. His mouth found every opening of the top most efficiently and eventually shed that away with the jacket.

            The rest of the clothes typically and haphazardly sprawled across her living room in a manner that resembled if a tornado blew through town.

            It hadn’t taken long at all for Oliver to hoist Felicity so her legs wrapped around his waist, one hand firmly on her butt, and guided them towards the back. This time, he would not be drifting into the room on the left, but into her room. He didn’t take time to look around, for his neck was buried into her neck, attacking a sweet spot that made her keen against his touch.

            She welcomed him with open arms (and legs) once their bodies hit the mattress with a slid bounce. They fell into a motion with ease and neither understood how they made it a week. Their mouths locked until she couldn’t take it anymore and she had to break off the embrace so she could raggedly attempt to catch her breath and gasp his name into the universe that was her dark bedroom. He was soon to follow with his own rendition of her name, which she swore still vibrated against her neck.

            He smiled lazily at her, which she returned with equal fervor, and fell beside her on the cool mattress, sweat beading his forehead. Felicity yawned and soon he was doing the same.

            Neither could quite tell who pulled the covers over them or who snuggled into who first, but that was the story of how rule #9 was effectively broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, naturally they're going to deny rule #9 was broken, because they're going to try and run away from potential trouble at all costs, but yeah, that bitch is shattered.


	16. Little Green Monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pro to being technically single: you can do whatever you want
> 
> Con to being technically single: they can do whatever they want

Oliver was pleasantly surprised to be welcomed to consciousness by the scent of soft vanilla and warmth flooding his bare chest. He didn’t open his eyes in fear of losing such a delightful sensation, but instead released a satisfied sigh. He wrinkled his face at a chilled feeling towards his lower half near his legs. He wiggled his legs around a bit to notice another set of smooth legs entangled with his own. Attached to said legs were a bare of icy feet.

            When noises began to register, Oliver recognized a soft snoring that rumbled against his chest, a snoring that wasn’t his own. He allowed his eyes to flutter open, relinquishing the peaceful state sleep held him in. His sight honed in on the light lavender walls and the vintage movie posters they displayed. The closet door was open and presented a wide collection ranging from flirty dresses to oversized sweaters and a massive pile of shoes that couldn’t be deciphered. A teddy bear sat on top of the dresser and judging by the wear of it, it was safe to say it was a childhood friend.

            His chin lightly brushed against soft long tendrils of blonde hair and he felt his body freeze in comparison to that of the feet that tucked between his legs.

            He was in Felicity’s room.

            They slept together.

            Well, they did that a lot, but they actually _slept_ together.

            Oh God, how’d they let that happen? Alcohol helped. Alcohol always helped in that respect. It also helped that he’d been staying at Felicity’s all week. They successfully made it through the week without doing anything, but the second that time was up they went and tarnished what they’d made. It was salvageable, because Felicity was still asleep and didn’t need to know they not only slept in the same bed, but spent the entire night interlaced with one another.

            He went to move his arm, but it gently brushed against the soft skin of her back. He instinctively splayed his hand across the surface of her back, fingers twitching at the pleasurable contact. She made a sound that could be closely related to a purr and he felt his heart patter. Oliver had been in close quarters with Felicity numerous occasions, but nothing like this. Her face was squished and at peace against his chest, her breathing was in sync with his, her hair was all out of whack in all directions, and he was pretty sure she was drooling.

            He took a moment to smile at how cute she was.

            Slowly and carefully, Oliver slid out from under her, placing her on the opposite side of the bed, and bent over to pick up his trail of clothes. He jumped in a quick shower and got dressed into new clothes before turning coffee on.

            Felicity was up shortly after, muttering about how her neck was stiff and how she should really stop sleeping like a big question mark. He grinned at the sound of her approaching grimaces and poured her a cup of coffee.

            Her eyes brightened at the sight of him. “Hey, you’re up! You’re never up before me.”

            _It’s a good thing I was_.

            Oliver shrugged. “I guess I was just eager to get over to the police station and see what they’ve figured out.”

            “Do you want a ride over there? It’s on my way to work, anyway.”

            “No, I should be okay. I’ll be glad to be driving around again now that my leg is doing a lot better.”

            She smiled and he couldn’t get the image of unconscious and drooly Felicity out of his mind, which only increased his giddiness.

            “You look really happy.” She mused. “Watch it or the brooding lines on your face are going to go away all together.”

            “Well, we can’t have that.” He forced his face into an over-exaggerated angry face and she burst into laughter.

            “Now you’re Oliver Queen.”

            He moved around the corner of the counter and picked up his bag. He didn’t notice flicker of disappointment that flashed across her face. By the time he stood again, she regained her cheery glow.

            “I guess I’ll see you later, partner.” She winked.

            “I guess so.” And Oliver didn’t know where it came from, but instead of the usual hi-five, he leaned in and kissed her cheek. When he realized what he was doing, he pulled back and smiled at her mischievously.

            “Good work.”

            Her smile faltered when the door shut and she looked around her empty apartment. The room felt suddenly very empty.

* * *

 

 

            Oliver dropped all his stuff off before walking into the police station, feeling uneasy when he caught sight of Detective Quentin Lance. Lance didn’t look overjoyed to see Oliver either. That was actually the understatement of the year. Lance looked like he was stuck between the notion of vomiting and punching Oliver so hard he threw up.

            Still, Oliver wasn’t a big fan of being shot, so it seemed like a big enough deal where he’d have to face his ex-girlfriend’s father who hated him.

            “Hi, Detective.” He was determined not to sound like the intimidated 18 year old picking his daughter up from the prom, intensions for the evening gray at best in a father’s eyes.

            “Oliver Queen.” The older man said his name like it was a harsh slur. “Pee on any cars lately?”

            “Kicked the habit.” Oliver quipped. “I’m actually here to see you about the shooting last week.”

            “Queen, I can’t disclose private information regarding a police case. I’m especially not going to tell you anything.”

            “Detective, I could be a target. Don’t you think I have a right to know who’s gunning for me?”

            “You have a lot of guts coming around here, expecting something from me.”

            “I’m sorry I peed on your car, I’m sorry I lied about prom night, I’m sorry about sneaking away with Laurel to your beach house-”

            “-That’s not- wait, what was that last one?”

            “Uh… Never mind. Look, can’t we just put our differences aside and I can help you figure this thing out. There’s no losing here. I don’t have a set of hitmen after me and you get to pull Vertigo off the-”

            Lance clamped his hand over Oliver’s mouth and looked around carefully. Before Oliver could protest, he yanked him towards an interrogation room in the back. Now, Oliver could more than handle himself against a forty-something year old man, but Detective Lance always struck him as the kind of guy that knew secret methods of torture.

            “Easy on the Vertigo talk.” He ordered as he locked the door behind them.

            “It’s all over the news.”

            “Look, Queen, I don’t like you. You know I don’t like you. You don’t like me, but I’m going to tell you something you can’t tell anyone: Vertigo is back.”

            “He’s alive?”

            “No, but these nutjobs always have apprentices that like to take up the mantle or some shit like that. We have some inside guys trying to figure out who the distributer is.”

            “Ray Palmer ordered those goons to come for me. Why would he want me?”

            “We know.”

            “You know?”

            “We think this new version of Vertigo was developed in his lab. Worse, we think he’s testing it on himself and other people he knows.”

            “So why hasn’t he been arrested?”

            “Because he opted to being tested and helping us instead. Good things happen when you comply with the cops, Queen.”

            “I already told you I’m sorry for-”

            “-Do you really think I give a fuck about stupid stuff you did when you were a kid? No, but in retrospect it sure says a lot about your character. You were a shitty kid and now you’re a shitty man. Barely a man at all…”

            “What the hell are you talking about?” Oliver stood up. “I haven’t done anything.”

            “You broke my baby girl’s heart. I should ring your neck.”

            “Her heart? She cheated on me with Tommy.”

            He could tell Lance was about to go on a lengthy rant, but he stopped himself in order to process what Oliver just said. His nostrils flared and it was obvious he didn’t want to believe it, but the shift in his stance reflected his confusion.

            “You’re lying.”

            “Did… Did Laurel tell you I cheated on her?” Oliver asked quietly.

            Lance didn’t answer, but he did walk over to the door and opened it, standing aside to signal it was Oliver’s time to leave. He did as he was directed and turned around to the defeated man. All this pent up hatred towards someone was all a waste and he was left feeling bitter.

            “You’re right. Complying with the police is a good thing.” Oliver shrugged and walked out of the station.

            He took out his keys to unlock his car when he heard his name being called behind him. He turned around to see Felicity’s friend Iris bouncing towards him, holding an arm full of binders, papers, and a camera.

            “Oliver! Oliver! Hey! Iris, remember?”

            “No, yeah of course!” He smiled at the perky brunette. “What are you doing here?”

            She sighed. “Well, I’m a journalist, so I basically live here. I gotta get a story where ever I can and unfortunately more times than not that includes someone getting their brains blown out.”

            “It’s hard to find positivity in Starling City.”

            “Did they find out who shot you?”

            Oliver shook his head. “The police aren’t exactly thrilled to be working with me. I’ve had a bad past with the lead detective. Then again, he thought it was a lot worse than it was, but I won’t bore you.”

            “No! Bore away. Like I said, I’m a journalist so I like to listen. And write, but I feel like that might make you uncomfortable.”

            He laughed. “I’ve never been an interview kind of guy, but you seem nice. I guess I’ll accept a question or two.”

            “Just one: would you like to go out with me sometime?”

            Oliver’s eyes widened and he suddenly felt very still. “Ummm… Ummm…”

            He realized he must have looked like an idiot with his mouth open, eyes bugged out, and eyebrows raised. He didn’t know why he was so uncertain. Iris was a pretty girl who seemed extremely nice. He was a single guy that was trying to get his life together. Wouldn’t dating do just that?

            He knew it was Felicity, but he didn’t want to admit that. He was self-aware enough to recognize that he was treading in a dangerous area. Iris was Felicity’s good friend and Felicity was his… Special friend. He didn’t want to upset her. He should have been excited to take this opportunity, but he felt… guilt.

            “It’s cute that you’re nervous.” She beamed. “Here’s my number. Call me for further… questioning.”

            He took the number and watched as she walked away.

            Shit.

* * *

 

 

            “How’d it go?” Curtis smiled as Felicity walked by from her meeting with the rest of the board members.

            “I showed them the goods, that’s for sure.” She beamed.

            He raised his eyebrows and her cheeks reddened. “No, not like… I didn’t strip for them, Curtis. I showed them our proposition.”

            “And?”

            “Pending, but that’s better than the rejection we got on the last project.”

            “Felicity, these are _your_ projects, your ideas, I’ve only been helping.”

            “I’m a firm believer in giving credit where it’s due, especially to a friend. Anyway, I’ve got a meeting on the third floor with some guy who can’t turn on his computer.” She scoffed. “I swear only the Neanderthals of the world come to Kord Industries.”

            “That’s because Ted Kord is the face of all Neanderthals.”

            She laughed and stepped into the wide bright hallway and into the elevator. As she rode down to the third floor and into the directed office, she was more than taken back to see Oliver Queen standing before her.

            “Oliver? Please tell me you know how to turn on your computer.”

            He furrowed his brow. “What? I’m not here for IT help.”

            “Okay, good. No man who can’t turn his computer on is allowed to turn _me_ on… Oh, hello, Mr. Smith.” She grimaced as a 90 year old man walked by and scowled at her.

            “Not interested, slut.” He muttered.

“Hey! That’s not for you to decide even if I was a slut. You’d be lucky to have… I don’t know why I’m arguing this.” She placed a hand on her forehead while Oliver bit his lip to keep himself from laughing.

            Felicity groaned and smacked her head against his chest. “I hate myself.”

            “Don’t.” He laughed and placed his hands on her shoulders. “I need to talk to you though.”

            “I’ll be with you in a minute, Mr. Smith.” She turned to the grouchy man.

            “You’re gonna get pregnant, missy!” He barked loud enough for everyone to turn to them. Felicity quickly pushed Oliver out the door and into the hallway where the air wasn’t thin and she didn’t want to burst into flames.

            “You’re job is lovely.” He commented.

            “MIT really set me up for the best.” She glowered, but when she looked at his shaken demeanor, she straightened. “What’s wrong? Did someone die?”

            “Why would you jump right to death?”

            “I don’t know! Do friends-with-benefits come to each other’s places of work just to talk about old sexist men that can’t work computers?”

            “That guy’s an asshole.” He tried. “But you’re right, there is something else.”

            “Do share. Do share.”

            “So, I went to the station today and talked to Lance.”

            She sucked in air through her teeth. “That had to be fun.”

            “Not at all, but your friend Iris was there.”

            “Okay?”

            “And she talked to me.”

            “How weird. People talking to other people they’ve talked to before? In public? Oliver, you should go to the authorities with this.”

            He rolled his eyes. “She asked me out.”

            All smugness vanished from her face with a snap and her eyebrows shot towards her hairline while her mouth hung open. She shouldn’t have been shocked. It was obvious Iris had a crush on Oliver by the way she talked about him or brought him up, but Felicity never considered that being a possibility. Iris was good with guys, so it was ridiculous to suspect Iris wouldn’t go near them and she was completely unaware of the sex-buddies scenario. Felicity had no right to feel like bugs were crawling under skin whilst on fire. She had no right to clench her fists and flare her nostrils. She had no right to feel like she was going to throw up.

            But she felt all of these things and if she thought she hated herself before, she despised herself now.

            “Oh.”

            “Yeah, and I wanted to… Well, I wanted to make sure it would be okay with you if I said yes.”

            “Okay? With me? You make sure?” _Why am I talking like Yoda? Get ahold of yourself, dummy. You’re supposed to be a genius._

            “Well, Iris is your friend and you and I are obviously what we are, but I don’t want it to be weird for you.”

            “Weird for me?” _Yes, it’s incredibly weird for me, but I’m not going to admit that because I have no reason to do so._

“I’m just checking, because I know that we can’t keep doing what we’re doing while I’m going out with someone else.” He wasn’t sure if he wanted to give that up right now. There was a pull that was yanking him in a certain direction, but there was no reason to allow it without her disproval reining his conscience. Essentially, he needed an excuse.

            “How considerate.” She responded tightly. She didn’t like this being turned around on her. After all, he was the one who felt the need to approach her about the whole thing. He could play the friend card all he wanted, but he was single! He didn’t have to come to her work and ask for her advice about dates and permission like she was his girlfriend. Then again, girlfriends wouldn’t be in this position.

            “Do you like her?” She asked tightly.

            “Iris is awesome, but if you don’t want me to go out with her, I won’t.”

            Translation: _Please tell me not to go out with her._

“You can do whatever you want. You don’t need my approval, because I’m not your girlfriend.”

            “I know that.” He spat. “I was just making sure you would be okay.”

            “My happiness doesn’t rely on whether or not I’m getting laid, you know.”

            “Are you sure you’re okay?”

            “Why wouldn’t I be?”

            “Because any time you answer a question with another question, you’re not.”

            She swallowed, but she wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Oliver, go out with her.”

            Translation: _Please don’t go out with her._

            A screaming silence fell over them. Neither looked particularly happy with the fact that they couldn’t say how they really felt. Maybe that was all the more reason to end it. If this was a sign of catching wind of feelings, it was beyond that time. They couldn’t go on like this forever, anyway.

            Still, Oliver felt guilt and Felicity begrudgingly felt jealous.

            “So I guess I will.” It sounded empty.

            “Okay.”

            “Yeah.”

            “So we’re… Just friends again?”

            “I, for one, feel cleansed.” She gritted. “Really.”

            “I’m excited for my date.”

            “Good.”

            “Good.”

            “Good talk there, buddy.” She (somewhat) playfully punched his shoulder and flashed him a forced smile. It took all her willpower to keep her demeanor cheery, but there was a definitive fakeness to it.

            Oliver closed his eyes as her heels clicked away in the distance towards the probably impatient Mr. Smith.


	17. Disaster Party of Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The return of coat closets.

After two hours of being on the tail end of belligerent shouting, empty threats, and a not-so-empty pudding cup to the face, Felicity stomped back up to her office, free from Mr. Smith and his incapability to understand anything outside of civil war history. It turns out, it wasn’t his computer but one he “found” in a Best Buy. How peculiar.

            “You look happy.” The ever-so-smug Ted Kord grinned as he caught her just before she was about to open her own door. She really wasn’t in the mood for another dumb man to further ruin her day.

            “Did you miss your mouth?”

            She let out a breath of preparation in order to keep herself from snapping at her boss. However, she wasn’t about to pretend she was happy and cheery. She was done with that for now.

            “Did you need anything, Mr. Kord?” If he said coffee, she wouldn’t be the only one wearing tapioca pudding.

            “You can call me Ted, Felicity.” He leaned against her door, blocking her entrance. “And I just wanted to talk to you about some of your IT service reviews. As you know, to remain a board member, you need to be able to carry the IT department as well. This is a team, after all, Felicity.”

            “Yeah, I understand that, but why am I the only member that has to do basic servicing? It’s a lot of extra work that I really don’t have time for in my day. I’m more than happy to help… Usually…” She looked to the pudding in her ponytail and grimaced. “But it’s a lot.”

            “Well, maybe you should consider pulling longer days.”

            “I’ve been doing ten hour days, sir.”

            “I’d love to see you for twelve. Is the pay not suitable?”

            “The pay is fine, more than fine, but it’s about my being treated unfairly. I feel like I’m doing 5 people’s jobs.”

            “If you’re unhappy, I’d be more than happy to make some… adjustments.” He raised an eyebrow and reached out to stroke her arm with the back of his long fingers. She backed away on instinct and he reacted crossly to her resistance.

            “I see. So, things will be staying the same, huh?”

            “I guess so.” She spat.

            When he walked away, she slipped into her office and groaned obnoxiously. She didn’t care. All she wanted to do was go home and take a long bath, forget that the men existed, and eat an entire gallon of ice cream.

            “Um, excuse me?”

            She snapped her neck around to face whoever had the gall to interrupt her internal breakdown. She had fire on her tongue, ready to incinerate whichever poor soul just walked into her office, but her anger was subdued when she met eyes with a familiar face.

            “Barry Allen?”

            “Hey, Felicity.” He grinned. Barry Allen looked nothing like the boy she knew in high school. For one thing, he wasn’t a foot shorter than her now. Also, he no longer had headgear that obstructed vision from his entire face. His hair wasn’t parted like a mad scientist either, which helped significantly. He was actually quite handsome.

            “You look great!” She beamed, hearing her own voice rising about several octaves. She leaned forward and met him in the middle for a hug.

            “You do too! You’re blonde now.”

            “I am!” She laughed.

            “And working for Kord Industries. That’s awesome.”

            “What are you doing in Starling? I mean, I’m happy to see you after… forever, but…”

            “Oh, I’m actually transferring to the SCPD forensic department. I figured it was time I let go of my past and you know… Checked in with everyone.”

            “How are you doing?”

            “I’m good.” He shrugged. “You know, the usual. I grew.”

            She laughed. “I see that. We should totally catch up.”

            His eyes sparkled. “I agree. Did you and Ray want to…”

            “Oh, uh, Ray and I aren’t together anymore.”

            He genuinely looked distressed. “I’m sorry. Are you seeing anyone?”

            “Nope!” She popped her lips. “Are you?”

            “Nah.” He blushed. “So, maybe just the two of us could get together.”

            She tilted her head in confusion at his nervous demeanor. This was _Barry_ , after all. Sure, he looked different, but he was still her friend from robotics that spit milk all over himself from laughing so hard at a video of a dancing frog. Still, he was nice and sweet. Did she really need to get herself involved with people from her past again? That sounded like opposite of smart. His hopeful smile and awkward shuffle won her over.

            “Yes, absolutely.”

            “Cool. It’s a date?”

            “It’s a date.” She confirmed.

 

* * *

 

            Oliver forgot what it felt like to go on a first date with someone. Hell, he hadn’t be on a first date since he was 16 years old. He willed himself not to reminisce on his well-planned date with Laurel. They drove to the beach and had a picnic under the stars while he played a mixed tape he’d made for her.

            This was much more formal. Iris suggested they go to _Mario’s_ because they had fantastic pasta and a “breathtaking atmosphere”. He had to wear a suit as opposed to shorts and a t-shirt and didn’t feel that same bubbling anticipation. Sure, he liked Iris as a person, but as they drove in silence, it was apparent to him that he shouldn’t be there.

            They walked into the beautiful restaurant, Iris chatting about how this was where the mayor often came to dinner and that she’d eaten with him before for an interview. He kicked himself for not having any interesting experiences excluding his ex-girlfriend or Felicity Smoak. He couldn’t possibly talk about either of them on a date. That was just tasteless. He wondered how much Iris knew about him from Sara and Felicity.

            “Are you okay?” Iris raised a hand to his arm. “You seem like you’re stuck in your own head.”

            “I’m just worried I won’t be able to read the menu.” He grinned as he sat down.

            Before he could even open the damn thing, another table was moved about a foot away from theirs.

            “I’m sorry, sir, we’re very busy tonight and need as much room as we can get.” The waiter offered.

            Oliver opened his mouth to say that it was okay, but it snapped shut when he saw the couple that would be joining them.

            Time stopped as Barry Allen and Felicity Smoak walked in side-by-side. Well, it essentially stopped when Felicity walked in. Her hair was in long, loose waves that resembled that of any fictional princess in all the storybooks. She wore a scarlet red dress with a swooping, yet tasteful, neckline that rendered him numb. Her lips matched her dress and were turned up in a smile at what Barry said, but dropped suddenly at recognizing the situation at hand.

            “Oliver? Why are you standing?” Iris asked from below.

            “Barry Allen. What a weird coincidence.” He stuck out his hand to the eager man, ignoring the confused Iris.

            “Oliver! Oh my God, man it’s so good to see you. And this is… Hi.” His mouth hung open as Iris turned around to greet them.

            “Felicity, who’s this?” Iris waggled her eyebrows at her friend.

            “I’m… I’m… I’m Barry.” He stuttered and it reminded Felicity of junior year of high school when Barry tried to ask this girl, Patty, to the dance and instead passed out on the floor before getting in a word edgewise. Barry always had a certain paralysis when it came to girls and it seemed some things truly don’t change, because she could see his knees wobbling.

            Of course, she had her own problems to worry about, given the fact that Oliver Queen was on a date with one of her close friends right near her. Why did she tell him that was a good idea again? Stubborness, denial, and probably the unspoken j-word that she still pushed far back into her mind. Despite her own ridiculousness, seeing him with Iris felt like pins was stabbing every inch of her skin. It was sickening.

            “It looks like we’ll be sitting real close. Why not make it a double date? Some of us are pretty nervous.” Iris giggled and looked to a bewitched Oliver Queen. He was trying awfully hard not to stare at Felicity, but that was proving to be difficult when she wasn’t hesitating to pierce through his soul. He knew she was throwing fire, but he didn’t mind the prospect of being burned.

            “Yeah, it does.” He said quietly.

            All she wanted was an evening where she could get reacquainted with a friend. She didn’t want to be infected by Oliver’s orbit tonight, but as the man straightened his tie against his rock-hard abdomen, she knew she was screwed.

            “So, Iris… What do you do?” Barry was turned fully towards Iris, caught in a trance of his own.

            “I’m a journalist.” Her eyes brightened at the chance to talk about her passion. Felicity smiled encouragingly at her friend. She was proud of her. Iris found something she loved and although it was difficult, she gave it her all. Iris never had a problem going after what made her happy. The current situation was a perfect example of that. Here she was on a date with Oliver Queen, a not-so-hidden desire that she’d always dreamed of making a reality.

            “What about you, Barry?” Iris grinned.

            “Oh… Oh… I’m…” He stumbled and closed his eyes in embarrassment. Felicity quickly swooped in. She didn’t know why, because technically she was on this date with him, but seeing Barry struggle always tugged at her heartstrings. The guy has been through enough.

            “Barry is a forensic scientist with the SCPD. He was just hired because he got a personal recommendation from the chief of police from Central City.” She reached out and squeezed Barry’s hands in confidence. He returned the gesture and thanked her silently. Felicity would be remiss if she didn’t notice the way Oliver’s eyes darted to their conjoined hands.

            “Iris-” Oliver cleared his throat. “Why don’t you tell them about that award-winning paper you wrote in college? You know, the one the president read.”

            Felicity rolled her eyes at his stupidity. Sure, she wasn’t exactly disappointed at his noticing her interactions with Barry, but her intentions were good and she wasn’t trying to play into any “my horse is bigger than yours” kind of tune.

            “The president read _your_ paper? That’s awesome.” Barry said cheerily. “I can barely write my name… Not that I’m stupid, but I just can’t always formulate what I’m trying to say.”

            “That’s obvious.” Oliver huffed under his breath and Felicity snapped her neck towards him, daggers ever so evident in her eyes.

            “Yeah, well, Oliver used to hire people to write his papers.”

            “Once. And you have room to talk. You wrote that paper and I still failed.”

            “You gave me the wrong book.” She gritted. “Who gets _Wuthering Heights_ mixed up with _To Kill a Mockingbird_?”

            “Felicity and I used to have a business where we’d do people’s homework for a profit.” Barry chuckled. “We made bank.”

            “That does not sound like the Felicity I know. It’s a little… rebellious, wouldn’t you say?” Iris quirked.

            “In my defense, I tried to be a tutor, but I’d get frustrated after the first few hours and usually just ended up doing it for them.”

            “I bet you were popular.”

            “I was stuffed in so many lockers. Oliver and Tommy would come looking for me every day after school, because it got so bad. He even beat the one guy up. What was his name?”

            “Harrison Wells.” Oliver smiled proudly. “He was a dick.”

            “You’re such a hero.” Iris giggled.

            “Well, I do train them.”

            “I’d love to watch you work sometime.” Iris leaned across the table and Felicity snapped a breadstick she hadn’t realized she’d been holding in half. Oliver didn’t fail to notice the sudden action and took Iris’s hands.

            “You can come by anytime.”

            “Do you know what you’re going to order?” Barry asked. She was thankful he asked before that conversation got any weirder for her. “Everything here looks so good.”

            “Probably Veal Parm.” Oliver and Felicity both answered simultaneously. They stared wide-eyed at each other for a moment before turning back to their menus.

            “Really?” Iris and Barry both asked. Unlike their dates, they both just blushed and laughed at the coincidence.

            “That was weird.” Felicity said outwardly. Everyone else was thinking it, some more fondly than others.

            “It’s just… It’s baby cow…” Iris pouted. “I just wrote an entire expose on the farming industry and it’s just disgusting.”

            “Yeah, I agree, actually.” Barry nodded, never taking his eyes off her. “I’ve been volunteering at the ASPCA and it’s getting harder and harder for me to eat animals.”

            “You volunteer?”

            “I think giving back is one of the greatest things anyone can do. After everything that happened with my mother, I went away to go find myself and I realized I didn’t just want to help people, but animals too.”

            “That’s beautiful.” Iris melted. “I’m so sorry about your mom.”

            “There should be more Barry Allen’s in the world.” Felicity smiled.

            “I’m still ordering the veal.” Oliver muttered.

            Felicity narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re so sensitive.”

            “Well, are you?”

            “…”

            “That’s what I thought.”

            “Remember when you guys slept together?” Barry blurted out.

            Felicity spit out her drink while Oliver began choking on the breadstick he’d been nibbling on. Iris furrowed her eyebrows in confusion to Felicity, but she wasn’t getting much of an answer there so she turned to Barry.

            “What?”

            The smile vanished from his face as he realized what he just said. He shook his hands adamantly.

            “N-n-no! Not sleep-sleep, but I’m talking about our senior trip! You and Felicity both got the rooms Ray and Laurel told you about mixed up.”

            “We were drunk.” Oliver quickly assured Iris. “Very very very drunk. I wouldn’t touch her if we weren’t.”

            “Thanks a lot.” She muttered.

            “You _touched_?”

            “On accident. Kind of.” Felicity groaned. “We made out a little bit, but that’s as far as it went.”

            “I got to second base.”

            “We had clothes on!”

            “Partially.”

            “We did not have sex.”

            “Yeah, no, absolutely not.” He made a disgusted face.

            “… Wow.” Iris began laughing. “And how did Ray and Laurel take that?”

            “They… Didn’t?”

            “You never told them?”

            “It was an accident! I thought he was Ray!”

            “I’m nothing like Ray.”

            “Well, I’m nothing like Laurel!”

            “I don’t remember ever saying that you were.”

            “It’s not a big-” Barry started, but they continued.

            “-I definitely don’t have the same tastes as her.”

            “Yeah, you like the nerdy, obnoxious, tiny type.”

            “You’re the same size.”

            “You and I both know that isn’t true.” He shot back.

            Iris and Barry blinked a few times before they exchanged uncomfortable glances in confusion. The air was obviously thick and awkward. Neither quite knew what to do with themselves.

            “I…” Her mouth hung open. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

            He shrugged and threw his napkin down before following her to the back of the restaurant. Waiters and waitresses were bounding around the corner hurriedly and she decided it was best to step out of the way. She opened a closet door and nodded violently at him to step in.

            She pulled on the light switch and ignored how close their proximity was.

            “What the hell is wrong with you?” She glowered.

            “Me? You got a date to stalk me on mine?”

            “Stalk _you_?” She shrieked. “No! That’s is absolutely _not_ what happened.”

            “So what did happen?”

            “Not that I have to explain myself for going out with a guy, I was just trying to catch up with an old friend and the universe obviously hates me enough to force me to sit with you.”

            “You didn’t have a problem being near me the other night.”

            “You weren’t talking then.” She gritted. “Or being an asshole.”

            “Me?”

            “Yes, you! You’re using Iris!”

            “You’re using Barry!”

            “I’m not trying to!”

            “That doesn’t matter.”

            “Yes, it does! My intentions are pure…”

            “No they aren’t. You've been talking Barry up all night and putting me down, because you hate this."

           "Or do you?"

           "What?"

            “You’re jealous!"

            “Of Barry Allen?” He snorted. “The kid can’t even talk to women.”

            “He can talk to me. You hate that I like talking to him too."

            “Well, what if I do?"

           "Well..." She was caught off guard by his sudden honesty. "We're both assholes."

            "I agree." 

            He stared down at her, his chest pressed against hers, breathing heavily with fire in their eyes. Without hesitating, he smashed his mouth against hers, sending her backwards and pushing her against the wall.

            She paused for a moment before shoving her tongue into his mouth and practically ripping the buttons off his shirt. His warm hands moved up her glorious thighs and pushed the hem of her dress so it was hiked above her waist. She yanked his belt out of the loops of his pants and pressed him against her. He attacked her throat carnivorously.

            Fuck it.


	18. Fine Dining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner plans change and that's just the way it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm unable to post as much now that I'm back schoolbound. My goal is to post twice a week if not more. Thank you for your patience!!!

            “Ugh, how are we supposed to go out there?” She hissed as Oliver adjusted himself and she finished smoothing down her dress.

            “We couldn’t have been gone that long. It’s called a quickie for good reason, Felicity.”

            “That was the opposite of quick!”

            Oliver displayed what could only be described as a wry smile. She wanted to smack it off his face. She’d intended on a nice evening with an old friend, eating delectable food, and exchanging innocent banter about the good old days. When Oliver and Iris showed up and ruined that initial plan, she rearranged her trajectory and wanted to simply stay the hell away from the dangerous territory that was their complicated relationship. She swore she meant to set him straight when she yanked him into the back closet.

            She should know by now that nothing ever held up to intentions anymore. She’d intended on becoming Mrs. Ray Palmer, she intended on quitting men for the time being, she intended on dropping things with Oliver altogether.

            She huffed, blowing a loose strand from her forehead. “How do I look? Do I look like someone that was effectively fucked in a closet?”

            He laughed and pushed another stray curl away. “You look good.”

            “Why do I feel like you’re avoiding the answer to that question on purpose?”

            “C’mon…” He opened the closet door and upon entering full lighting, she wasn’t the only one with a slightly disheveled appearance. Oliver’s hair was all over the place, his tie was completely undone, buttons were off, and he had a bright lipstick mark on his neck.

            “Whoa! Wait!” She grabbed his bicep and licked her thumb and removed the smudged makeup.

            “Felicity…” he gritted.

            “I’m sorry, do you want to wear that shade?”

            “Did you have to lick your thumb?”

            “Don’t be a baby.” She chuckled and pulled him to their table.

            They were surprised Iris and Barry still sat there, but were even more shocked to see they’d switched seats. Barry had moved closer to Iris, his hands holding hers as his eyes followed her every movement in adoration. Her laugh reverberated through the room.

            “Hey, guys?” Felicity bit back a smile of her own. It was a relief that neither was crushed by their lengthy absence. In fact, they didn’t even seem to notice they were gone in the first place.

            “Oh, hey! That was fast.” Iris cleared her throat. “Ready to go?”

            “Iris’s place is actually a lot closer to mine than yours is, Felicity.” Barry stood. “So I think for the sake of convenience I should… Well, I should drive her home.”

            Oliver raised his eyebrows. “Kay…”

            “Unless you really wanted to.” Barry quipped, but it was clear that the way Iris’s demeanor changed that both really hoped Oliver didn’t want to.

            “Oliver can take me home.”

            Everyone looked to Felicity quickly, who reddened deeply. “I mean, he can take me to my home and then leave, because he knows where I live. And he drives.”

            “Right.” Oliver nodded. “Yeah, I can do that. You’re on the way.”

* * *

 

            “Never in a million years did I think Barry Allen was going to snub a girl away from me.”

            “To be fair, Iris would have likely slept with you had you not acted like such a jealous ass tonight.”

            When he shot her a pointed glare, she merely shrugged. His face softened, because really, could he argue with that logic? Iris really liked him and he’d more or less used her to try and get and edge on his fuck-buddy. That was probably the opposite of progressive behavior.

            “I’ve never seen Iris smile like that before. Or Barry.” She hummed and leaned against the car window. “They looked so lost in each other.”

            “In a way, what happened tonight was a good thing.”

            “We got lucky.”

            “Yes, yes we did.” He chuckled.

            Silence fell over them and a million words bubbled up to the surface of the anxious friends. Felicity played with her hands absently and wondered if she could stand any more lost conversations. She wondered what she’d say to him if she had absolutely no filter (it’s a surprise she has one at all) or restraint. How much would she say that she hadn’t fully realized?

            “Are we not going to talk about the fact that you were super jealous?” She blurted.

            “So were you-”

            “-Fine. That _we_ were jealous. That’s the opposite of friendship, right? Our biggest rule-”

            “-The rules are back on?”

            “Did you need a bigger initiation than sporadic closet sex?”

            “Point.”

            “Can we just chalk the jealousy up to primal, aggravating sexual tension along with our friends being so closely involved?”

            “Yes. Let’s do that.”

            “I don’t want to get hurt.” She said quietly and she was shocked she said anything at all despite her notoriety for babbling.

            “Hurt?”

            “I liked you a lot in high school.” She cleared her throat. “I’d say I’m a little more susceptible to catching feelings and getting hurt here.”

            “I won’t let that happen. Consider it rule number 11.”

            She looked at his profile, smiling lightly as he gripped the steering wheel and guided them through the dark streets of Starling City. It took her back to late Saturday nights where the car would be filled with more than just the two of them. She rarely sat up front in those days, considering Laurel took that spot, and was instead pressed between Barry, Tommy and Ray in the back. Oliver would play old Matchbox 20 songs because they were Laurel’s favorite band at the time and he would sing poorly on purpose to make fun of them. He laughed a lot more back then.

            “Where are we going?” She asked.

            “We didn’t eat anything tonight. I can literally hear your stomach.”

            She blushed. “You should talk. I swore you were going to eat me back at the restaurant.”

            He claimed out of the car and bent down to wink at her. “I didn’t have much time.”

            She sighed before following him out of the car. “Isn’t this a bit date-like?”

            “Would you consider shitty pizza eaten on the hood of my car a date? If so, I’m afraid your relationship with Ray was doomed from the start.”

            She only rolled her eyes and followed his long stride into the dimly lit pizza place. There weren’t a lot of people in there, but there was a charm to the place along with proudly hung local awards from decades before. It would be the equivalent of her hanging up her high school academic medals, but she left that up to her mom.

            He ordered them a whole pizza and two sodas. She grabbed the drinks while he snatched a slice from the box and carried the rest with one arm.

            It turns out, late April was still quite chilly at night so Oliver wrapped Felicity in his jacket. She joked that he was big enough for her to get lost in his clothes and he pointed out that she was also pretty small. She objected, but not enough to risk losing the privilege of wearing his jacket, not that he’d ever take it away.

            “You wear that a lot better than I do.” He smirked.

            “What? Like body armor?”

            “Or a poncho.”

            She snorted and took a big bite of pizza. “Whatever.”

            “So has Ted Kord been giving you trouble?”

            “Only all of it.” She scoffed. “The man wants me to work 12 hour days.”

            “What? That’s ridiculous.”

            “He just wants an excuse to stare at my ass as I bend over to fix computers. He keeps them low to the ground for a reason.”

            “I’ll kick his ass if you want. I’m good at kicking CEO ass, apparently.”

            “Honestly, you should put it as one of your skillsets, because you really get the job done efficiently. Right below picking out unknown pizza places and above generating fantastic orgasms.”

            “I don’t even know why I went to college with a resume like that.”

`           “To major in public drunkenness with a minor in business and marketing?”

            “I aced my major.”

            “I’d say you aced it in high school.”

            “We made out because of it.”

            “I guess it wasn’t a total loss.” She smiled. “That’s so weird that Barry remembers that at all or even thought to mention it. I don’t even remember it all that well.”

            “I do.” He sipped his drink and stared off thoughtfully. “I remember figuring out you were you when I felt your glasses bump up against my face.”

            “You screamed.” She grimaced. “I remember you screaming.”

            “You fell off the bed and started babbling about my body.”

            She placed her plate next to her and rubbed her hands against her head. “Human muzzles would be a fine invention for me.”

            He placed a hand on her back. “And that was the first time I ever saw you half-naked.”

            “I’m pretty sure that was also the day you witnessed someone internally implode in front of you.”

            “You were cute.”

            “I was embarrassing.”

            “So was I. Laurel loved superheroes so I was planning on doing some superman-”

            “-Ew.” She shivered. The warmth of his jacket couldn’t protect her from that chill. She didn’t want to think of them doing that at all. For some reason the thought drove her sick.

            “You’re not into superheroes?”

            “No, I totally am. I watch all the movies! I’m just more of a batman girl, I guess.” She shrugged. “Superpowers don’t do it for me.”

            “It’s the money, isn’t it?”

            “No. Alfred.” She deadpanned.

            He chortled. “You have a butler kink. I never had a butler. I had a Raisa, but she was more of a housekeeper. And friend.”

            “I vaguely remember her. I think I’ve been to your mansion all of twice. It was always scary to me.”

            “Scary?”

            “Yeah, it reminded me of _Clue_.”

            “That’s not a scary movie.”

            “I felt like I’d die or end up killing someone like in _Clue_.”

            “You ventured into my kid-sister’s room on accident.”

            “Ugh, how do we keep returning to embarrassing moments of mine? Don’t you have any that don’t include accidentally almost screwing me?”

            “I threw up in the middle of homeroom in ninth grade. All over myself. Laurel and her friends caught a full view. It was green and chunky… Everyone used to tell me green looked best on me.”

            “Were they in the splash zone?”

            “Who asks that?” He laughed. “How are you still eating when I’m talking about vomit?”

            “Why would that stop me? It’s not like you threw up on the pizza.”

            “You’re weird.” He nudged her and she merely shrugged.

            “Sorry I’m not as dainty as you.”

            “Dainty? Me?”

            “Apparently you throw up easily.”

            “I could eat this entire pizza if I wanted to.”

            “Like I’d let that happen. I remember when I first moved to Starling and this one girl in my class named McKenna used to tell me I should eat before I went on dates with boys because then they won’t think I’m fat on the date. So I tried that on my first date with Ray and he was worried I was malnourished when really I ate an entire full-course meal before meeting him.”

            “So suffice to say, you’ve become a showoff over time.”

            She grinned. “I work it off with the elliptical I occasionally use as more than a coat hanger.”

            “You don’t need to explain anything to me. I have seen you naked, after all.”

            “It’s weird to think that. I could close my eyes and see you naked right now if I wanted.”

            She slowly sat up, allowing his firm hand to settle on the small of her back. They were a lot closer on the hood of his car than she’d remembered. His eyes gazed innocently into hers, a playful smirk not failing to illuminate the shadows of his face.

            “I guess we should go.” She said quietly, her eyes flicking to his open mouth for a brief moment. This was basically a date. She couldn’t make it any more of a date by inviting him in, right?

            “As you wish.” He smiled and moved to get off the car, when her small hand gripped his arm tightly. He flinched at the movement and eyed her curiously.

            “What?”

            “You just… Did you just quote _The Princess Bride_?”

            “Oh, yeah. I watched some of those movies you told me about the other day.”

            She took his face in her hands and melted their mouths together as they’d done countless times at this point, wasting no time in delving her tongue into his mouth. He tasted familiarly like fresh pizza and sprite and for some reason that was greater than any fine dining she’d ever originally hoped for. His hands came up and met her waist, sliding up the column of her body.

            She placed her hands on his chest and urged him backwards so he lay against the car. Felicity swung one leg over him, evading the nearby pizza box, and straddled him. He groaned against her ravenous touch and gripped her hips. She could feel him through his dress pants already and the way he looked in a suit made her heat intensify against him. The dress was just becoming too much, honestly.

            “You know how you said you didn’t have time earlier?” She grumbled against his rough neck.

            He only gasped in response.

            “Well, it’s time.”


	19. Great Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night doesn't end until morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very rated E, which I'm sure no one is disappointed about. More broken rules in this one, because these idiots can't keep it together.

            If it wasn’t raining and Felicity wasn’t such a stickler for the rules, Oliver would have went Mach 1 speed to get to her place. His hands tightened on the steering wheel, barely able to focus on the task of driving, as her small hand lay dangerously high on his upper thigh. He swallowed for the millionth time in the span of ten minutes, unable to allow his peripherals to drift to an equally anxious Felicity.

            They fumbled across the threshold of her apartment, stumbling and bumbling as they had their first time just over two months ago. He kicked the door shut with his foot and her mouth never left his while she knowingly tugged his jacket off. Despite the urgency, she was more careful to safely discard his clothes, being that they were so much nicer than the typical long sleeve shirts and jeans he typically donned. She blocked out any thoughts of being sex-crazed as he blindly guided her to her room. She refused to acknowledge the warmth that flooded her at the realization that he had the entire layout of her place committed to memory.

            Their quicky in the closet had been just that- at least for them- and Oliver wanted to take his time with her in the safe haven of her room. He never failed to breathe heavily as the fresh aroma of clean sheets and a distant hint of lavender flooded his senses. Her curtains were slightly open, allowing the moonlight to cast outlining shadows throughout the scope of the room. On top of all that, she was right in front of him, caught somewhere between a hurry and reverence, peppering him with touches he never thought he’d feel again.

            Her hands rose to his shoulders and guided him against the wall. She gasped at the way the glittering night caught his vulnerable eyes. She never gazed at him with such openness before, but seeing him look down at her like she was some kind of star only increased the intensity she felt clamoring at her chest. His pupils were blown to reveal galaxies of their own, but there was more than just lust in them. She knew if she explored enough, she’d see whatever she wanted, but a harsh whisper from her sanity reminded her that he wasn’t her voyage to take on, just test-drive.

            Still, no one ever said it had to be rushed. Her fingers quickly and slickly undid his tie and tugged it from around his neck, never breaking eye contact with him for a second. She toyed with the smooth fabric for a moment before placing it on top of her dresser. Her eyes widened in delight at the sight of the suspenders that stretched down his firm chest, connecting at the deliciously firm pants. He watched her intently as she gripped them with such intensity and pulled him flush against her. He moved to place his warm hands on her hips, no doubt in an attempt to guide them onto the nearby mattress. She slid from his efforts and onto her knees.

            “Felicity…” He started and she met his eyes. She knew from what he told her that in all the sex Oliver has had whether it be with Laurel or those other eight women (who she made a point to never talk about), he’s never came first. As much as she appreciated his determination, and really, she’s benefited from it greatly for the past couple months, she had the sudden burning need to show him that it’s okay to be selfish every once in a while. He’d spent his entire life thinking about everyone else and he was still that way. It was one of the many things she liked about him, but he was allowed to be human, to indulge.

            Despite the tone of his voice, his eyes held nothing but anticipation and eagerness. After a moment of contemplation, he simply nodded his head once and if she hadn’t been waiting so patiently for that signal, she might have not noticed it. But she did and her hands slid up his legs, appreciating that despite his fiery contact, he noticeably shivered. She directed herself towards his groin, feeling him through the pesky clothes that still beautifully clung to his body. He groaned as she applied a slight increase of pressure. If he was reacting like this to her preemptive touches, he knew he wouldn’t last long at all. The mere vision of the hunger in her eyes as she explored him was almost enough for him to lose all sense of control.

            Finally, she gripped the clasp of his pants and slowly relieved the tension that had encased him for what felt like forever.

            “As much as I love these…” She trailed off and unclipped the suspenders on his pants. He didn’t fail to notice the fleeting lustful gaze she gave them before pulling them off altogether.

            “I doubt you want to mess up these nice pants.” She yanked them down in a surprisingly quick motion that required little to no thought. It amazed him how considerate she could be even in the throws of passion.

            He kicked off his shoes and his pant legs, not wanting to get tangled up and losing his balance and risking the chance of missing out on this opportunity. His old self was arguing that he shouldn’t be letting her do this, but she wanted to and he knew himself well enough to know she would not be forgotten for her efforts.

            A smirk rose to her lips as she made direct eye contact with his extremely ready bulge and there was nothing but trouble that glinted in her bright, moonlit eyes. She excruciatingly took her time as she removed the final restraint that contained him. Oliver knew better than to assume he could withstand the sight of her holding him without gasping.

            She grinned devilishly up at him and it went against every other view he’d had of her. By day, she looked like the human representation of a vanilla cupcake, but here, cloaked by night, she played the role of enticing seductress that went to any length to destroy him.

            He wanted the sight of bright fingernail on his erection to be imprinted into his brain for all of eternity, but even more so the gaze that accompanied it. She slowly moved her hands up and down his length, eyeing him for a reaction and she certainly got one in the way he tilted his head back and desperately reached for something to grasp, something to connect him to the rest of the world.

            He found that in the top of her dresser. He had to remind himself not to knock the entire thing over in a surge of pleasure, because honestly, that was entirely possible. Out of sheer curiosity, he tilted his head down and sure enough, the blonde temptress was waiting for that piercing eye contact, the kind that made him forget that this was all just sex, that their time together was finite.

            When warm, red lips wrapped around him, he drew in a sharp breath and felt like he’d forgotten how to exhale for a moment. His head fell back to bump against the wall and his eyes wandered to look at anything that wasn’t the woman whose tongue wasn’t methodically taking him into oblivion. If he allowed himself that luxury, he’d lose all semblance of control without an ounce of warning. It was enough that he was indulging this much. He wasn’t about to become _that_ guy.

            Even so, it was hard (literally) not to focus on the actions happening below him. Her right hand reached to grip his hilt while she slowly pulled her mouth almost completely off of him. He whimpered like a child that wanted an extra cookie and the smirk he felt against his flesh only heightened his desire.

            She pushed him back into the cavern of her mouth and repeated the process again, trying desperately to keep herself from full-out grinning by the noises he was making above her. Honestly, turning someone as big and brooding as Oliver Queen into putty in her hands was a pleasure in itself. She could tell he was close by the way his hips began swaying to the rhythm of her movements.

            “Felicity.” His voice was hoarse and though he was shaking beneath her, desperately trying to have a grasp on reality. She could hear her dresser rocking back and forth as well and it was apparent that if she was taking him down, he was bringing the entire infrastructure with him.

            She grunted and waved a hand above her head. She supposed they should have established a code of sorts to communicate whether or not it was cool for him to go on with his business. For a brief moment, she flashed back to a time when Ray tried to pull that “roughly grabbing her ponytail” bullshit and how poorly that ended for the both of them. Needless to say, she was never able to wear _that_ dress again and he ended up with unwanted teeth-marks on his dick.

            Oliver felt a layer of sweat covering him and his mind wandered to the first time Laurel had ever given him head, how she stuck it back too far and accidentally threw up on his shoes. He told her it was better his shoes than his dick and she still didn’t speak to him for a week out of embarrassment. Felicity’s bright nails appeared in his line of sight in a waving motion and it occurred to him that he’d been uttering her name constantly for however long.

            He was peaking and she was signaling for him to go for it and beautiful kaleidoscopic pictures of colors he didn’t even know existed danced before his closed eyes. He gripped her dresser so hard that the wood dented beneath him and unspeakable curses flew unknowingly through his lips with the accompaniment of her name. He quite literally felt like he was seeing stars. When he came down from his high, his face was flushed with warmth and sweat and met the sultry eyes of one Felicity Smoak. She slowly raised her hand to her mouth and wiped her mouth, smudging some of the perfect red across her cheek.

            He couldn’t resist her any longer and in one swift motion, lifted her from the floor and into a searing kiss, tasting remnants of himself. A groan vibrated across his tongue and he wasn’t sure if it’d come from him or her, but it didn’t matter. It was hard to believe that this evening started with a completely different woman and ended with her. His hands gripped her ass in the way he’d wanted to since the moment he spotted her standing next to Barry Allen. His hands slipped beneath the hem of her dress and up her thigh. She moaned at his touch and he felt the same at her clear desire for him.

            Wasting no more time, his hands gripped her thighs and pulled her into his arms with ease. She didn’t wobble in panic anymore, aware that he was more than capable of holding her or catching her. He let that feeling of trust sink in deep and gently dropped her to the mattress. She bounced on her back for a moment and gazed up at him with a mysterious mix of vulnerability and heat. Her chest rose and fell in such heavy beats that he resisted the way his cock twitched at the sight of her laid out in front of him.

            He got to his knees and ran his hands up her smooth legs in the way she’d done for him not long ago. She mirrored his reaction with a harsh shiver even though her skin was burning hot. Even her feet were warm, which said a lot given the woman’s feet gave an icebox a run for its money.  

            He spread her legs gently and Felicity whimpered at the movement. He peered up to make eye contact with her and tried not to gape at how angelic she looked in the early hours of morning.

            “I’ve never…” She started and her eyes flickered downward and though his brow creased in confusion, it didn’t take him long to understand the situation. Felicity had never received oral before. He wanted to make a comment about how she ever liked Ray, let alone loved him. What kind of asshole takes and doesn’t give?

            “Do you want me to? I mean, you made it really easy. You’re not wearing underwear. ” He wasn’t going to do anything she didn’t want to, even though he admittedly really wanted to in this moment.

            “Wait, I’m not?”

            “No.”

            “Dammit. I knew I forgot something at the restaurant.”

            He laughed. “Felicity, I’m not going to make you do anything, but you gave me an amazing orgasm and I’m really not the kind of guy who doesn’t return the favor.”

            “Well, I’m not going to say no to that proposition.” And really, she’d be crazy to. A blissed out and eager Oliver Queen between her legs? There was a hot pool of heat at her center just envisioning it.

            He chuckled before proceeding with what he’d started. He gently took her heels off, refusing to relive a particularly painful incident where he’d been heeled in the back of the head. He threw the shoes behind him and leaned in to kiss her anklebone and then the other. From there, he moved up to her calves, kissing every trace of skin along the way. She fluttered at the sensation of rough stubble and soft lips coursing up the inside of her legs. Her hands ran across her soft bedspread and gripped the blankets tightly.

            When he reached her thighs, he applied ample tongue with every annunciated kiss and smiled against the anticipated tremors the erupted across the surface. One of her hands reached up and ran her fingers through his short strands of hair encouragingly.

            She gasped when she could feel his hot breath hovering over his center. The man was taking his time, which she couldn’t hold as his fault considering she’d done the exact same thing. His nose brushed against her clit and she twitched at the unexpected contact. He was probably grinning like an idiot down there, impressed with the effect he was having over her. His tongue brushed straight down and she swallowed forcefully to prepare for more of this beautiful torture.

            Oliver took her clit in his mouth and began sucking and tapping his tongue against her profusely, swirling to make her writhe against his touch. If she thought her breathing was heavy before, it was completely erratic now. Her hold on her blankets only tightened as her feet slid onto the bed to try and gain more traction.

            “Oliver…” She moaned his name without an ounce of embarrassment. He deserved to hear the praise in her outcries. It took every remaining sane thought in her brain (which admittedly was only a spotty handful at this point) to resist grabbing his head and pushing him deeper. It was evident he knew what he was doing.

            “More of that…” She urged as his tongue struck a particularly sensitive zone that made her toes curl in delight.

            He did as she commanded and only improved the regime by entering the core of her heat. He used one hand to continue massaging her swollen clit and tasted the depths of her eagerly. His name echoed through the room and she couldn’t help but meet his face with her hips hurriedly.

            “Just a little… More…” Sweat beaded at her forehead and flames ran down the sides of her body, but nothing compared to the scorching wildfire that incinerated her nether regions. Her mouth felt dry as she sucked in large mouthfuls of air to keep conscious. The last thing she needed was to come so hard that she passed out.

            “Oliver, I’m…” He didn’t slow down despite her courteous attempt at a warning, but it wasn’t long before she was unraveling all around him. She came with a sharp shout of his name and then a slew of profanity that only had him thinking of a round two. Felicity felt waves of pleasure reverberating through her body like a cell phone on vibrate and completely stilled as the remnants of enjoyment melted into pure satisfaction and accomplished exhaustion.

            He crawled from beneath her so he was on top of her. Her eyes were hooded and her mouth hung open ever so slightly. His eyes flickered to her lips and without warning, bent down to kiss her and this time, despite there being clear evidence on both of their mouths of the previous events, there was nothing sexual in nature about it. Her hands rose to his neck and gently deepened the kiss. She stroked the side of his face, letting her nails scratch over the course facial hair. He gently nuzzled his nose against hers and began carefully undoing her dress.

            Aside from the implications of getting undressed, his hands were so tender and delicate that it didn’t seem like a means of getting off. He slowly slid the fabric off of her while she wordlessly unbuttoned his shirt. There weren’t any tossed clothes or messy kisses, just soft moans and tender caresses.

* * *

 

 

            Felicity awoke to blinding daylight, a loud knocking on the front door, and a heavy arm thrown over her. It took her a moment to readjust to the conscious, living world to see that it was 9 am on a Saturday morning and Oliver slept over.

            “9 am, Saturday morning…” She groaned. “Why…”

            Then, something clicked and her head shot off the pillow. Heat scorched her entire body and not in the sexy, fun way like the previous night. No, she was in a full-blown panic mode and didn’t know what to do other than freeze.

            Her abrupt movement caused Oliver to shake from his own hazy slumber and look at her through (admittedly adorable) squinted eyes. He smacked his lips a few times and looked around the room in confusion.

            “Oh, God.” She leaped up from her bed and began throwing clothes on. “Oh my God. How could I forget? Holy shit, oh no.”

            “Felicity? What’s wrong?” He was panicking now too, because she looked like a timebomb and that was never reassuring after accidentally spending the night and _not_ being the one to wake up first this time. He followed her lead and began throwing clothes on.

            “Felicity, come get the door!” A high-pitched voice called from the front.

            “You’ve got to go.”

            “What’s going on? Calm down.”

            “Calm down? Yeah, that makes me feel suddenly more calm. Thank you, Oliver!”

            “That was sarcasm.”

            “No kidding!” She hissed as she threw his shirt at him. “I am never going to hear the end of this… We aren’t going to be able to pull this off… What if she starts sharing stories…”

            “Felicity-”

            “Oliver, if you tell me to calm down again-”

            “Felicity, I have to pee!” The person from the front called urgently.

            “I’M COMING, MOM!”

            “Mom?” Oliver’s eyes widened.

            “Mom.” Her cheeks were adorably (and rightfully) a bright red. She hurriedly pulled her hair into a ponytail and wiped all traces of smudged makeup off her face. She disappeared from the bathroom and came back with air freshener.

            “This place cannot smell like cologne. My mom is like a search dog.”

            He’d met Donna Smoak once or twice, each time being an interesting experience. She was a vibrant, hyperactive woman who was completely different from Felicity in just about every other way. He knew Felicity loved her mom, being that she stayed around unlike her father, but that they had their problems.

            “Felicity, what if we just tell her I was stopping by to help fix something? She knows we’re friends.”

            “Oh no. She will know. That woman has been trying to set me up with someone since before Ray and I broke up. She’s wanted me married since I was 13.”

            “Okay, so how do you suggest I escape unnoticed?”

            She paused for a second and then her eyes flickered to her window. “Fire escape?”

            He contemplated it and when he met her pleading eyes, he realized he really couldn’t say no.

            “How long is she in town?”

            “A week.”

            “I’ll see you in a week.” He smiled lightly and bent down to kiss her forehead before opening the window. “You know, this feels very junior year of high school.”

            “We weren’t having sex back then.” She snorted as he smiled and disappeared down the fire escape.

            Felicity took a deep breath and examined the room quickly before hurrying to the front door to greet her mom.

            “Mom!” She chirped, trying to hold in any apparent anxiety from the past two seconds or seem like someone that had recently gotten very, very, _very_ laid… multiple times.

            “Baby!” She squeaked and as usual, practically knocked her over with a hug powerful enough to defeat an Amazonian warrior. She began hopping up and down in her six inch heels and spinning them around. As they twirled, Felicity’s eye caught on an askew men’s shoe in the middle of her bedroom floor.

            “Go pee!” She turned Donna abruptly towards the bathroom, careful to prevent her from seeing the black shoe and wasted no time in grabbing the thing.

            “Oh, Felicity?” Donna appeared in her doorway with a knowing smile.

            Felicity quickly snapped the shoe behind her back. “Uh, yes?”

            “I see you’ve started using the same brand shampoo as me. Trying to reel in any boys?”

            She laughed uncomfortably. “Me? Oh, no. I’m just… exfoliating like a professional.”

            “Mhmm…” She trailed off before closing the bathroom door.

            Felicity stuck her head out the window to check and see if Oliver was anywhere to be found so she could toss it down to him. When she didn’t see him, she bit her lip. Was he just roaming the streets of Starling City shoeless? That had to be uncomfortable.

            Another knock came at the door and she wrinkled her brow. She was pretty sure there weren’t supposed to be any more visits from any other family members that she forgot about.

            She opened the door to see none other than Oliver. Her eyes widened in a mixture of annoyance, anxiety, and surprise, but his simply fell to the shoe in her hand. She supposed she was grateful he didn’t have on his full suit from the night before. Instead, he just wore the black pants, a white t-shirt, and one shoe.

            “That was a fast week.” She muttered.

            “What am I supposed to walk through the city-”

            She hushed him and turned back towards the bathroom.

            “… With one shoe?” He whispered.

            She sighed and handed him the coveted object and watched as he bent over to put it on his foot.

            “Who’s that, honey?” Donna Smoak quickly rounded the corner. God, that woman couldn’t do anything silent except apparently go to the bathroom.

            Her eyebrows shot to her forehead and her mouth hung open at the sight of Oliver Queen. She looked over every part of his body: his huge arms, firm ass, washboard stomach that wasn’t well hid beneath the white t-shirt he sported so well. His face was equally, if not as much as, gorgeous.

            “Oliver Queen.” Her breathing was uneasy and all he could do was blush at the woman’s clear adoration for him. “It has been _too_ long.”

            “Mom.” Felicity interjected. She was more than aware that Oliver was handsome as hell and that she was in no position to be jealous or uncomfortable by other women realizing that, but having to watch her own mother ogle over him was a completely different story. Donna Smoak sexualizing anyone wasn’t a pretty sight for her.

            “You were always a cutie, but oh my God, I can see why Felicity had such a big crush on you.”  

            “MOM!”

            “What? It was sweet, honey. Oliver knows that.”

            Oliver smirked at how Felicity’s ears were fire truck red and her hands massaged her temples. This was going to be a long week for Felicity Smoak.

            “I never talked about… I never talked about that with you… Or anyone, really.” She stumbled. Even though he was well-aware of her previous high school feelings for him, it was still utterly excruciating when someone else, who’d she never consoled in about them, blurted them out like they were painted all over her body.

            “But you wrote about it-”

            “-You read my journal?”

            “I tried to talk to you, but you were going through a teenage rebellion thing, sweetie! Remember when you hacked into your school’s server and changed the lunch menu? Then, you tried to hack into government stuff-”

            “-Maybe I should-” Oliver pointed to the exit and Felicity nodded eagerly.

            “No!” Her mom insisted. “You clearly came by for a reason. I had no idea you two were still so close!”

            Oh God, she was winking. She already had her suspicions. Damn, the woman was good.

            “Oh… I was just here to…” His mind blanked and choked up as Donna Smoak was already putting a story of her own in her head. From what Felicity said, it probably wasn’t far off. Suddenly, he was young and being interrogated by parental figures again. He’d been through a lot, but there was nothing like the bubbling anxiety of dealing with the weight that you’d slept with the daughter of the person you were talking to.

            “Connect my plumbing!” Felicity blurted out. She wrinkled her entire face when she realized how that sounded and outwardly scowled. “I mean, he’s here to _fix_ my plumbing…”

            “I’m sure it’s rusty from months of being unused.” Donna smirked.

            “I use my plumbing every day, thank you.” And both parties raised their eyebrows at her. “I’m talking about the sink and the toilet. Actual pipes. That’s what we’re talking about, right?”

            “That’s what I’m talking about.” Oliver nodded quickly.

            “As long as I get to see a little plumber’s crack, I’m good.” Donna clapped. “Get to work, Oliver.”

            “Oh my God.” Felicity groaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so so soooooo sorry I haven't been updating, but the combination of writer's block and how busy I am really killed me. I think I've got a groove back on so that's nice and I'll have time to write this weekend (hopefully hash out a few chapters so I can post twice a week).


	20. Mother Knows Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna Smoak never holds her tongue, especially when it counts.

“Do you think she suspects anything?” Oliver muttered to Felicity, who hovered above him as he was bent over her toilet.

            “Of course she does. You make a sucky plumber, by the way.”

            He glared up at her. “This wasn’t my idea.”

            “This was very much your idea! Do you not remember getting on one knee?”

            “I meant the plumber excuse.” He grumbled. “But if we’re really placing blame, you kissed me first.”

            “I did not! You were eyeing my mouth like you were starving and it was the last morsel of food on the face of the earth.”

            “Your eyes were closed.” Oliver got to his feet, pressed against her in the small bathroom. “You were already planning your attack way before me.”

            Felicity’s eyes fluttered as she eyed his mouth again, trying not to let her mind wander when her nosy mother was merely feet away in the next room and they had actual issues to work out.

            “Everything alright in there?” The cheery voice of Donna Smoak came from the kitchen. “I’m making breakfast. Do you want anything?”

            “You don’t.” She gritted.

            “I’d say the “staying over” rule was obliterated this time, Felicity.”

            “No, I mean you really don’t. She can’t cook. Her eggs have shells in them and I swear they’re still mostly uncooked.”

            “I’m taking your silence as a _pleased_ yes.” She hummed.

            “Mom, we’re fine!” Felicity called back. “He’s just inserting his- a pipe.”

            “You need to stop.” He chastised, but a grin was very present on his face as she smacked her head against his chest in her own admonishment.

            “This is hell.”

            “How do you think I feel? I thought we weren’t going to do the whole “meet the parents” thing. Parents hate me.”

            “I think by the way my mom was staring at your ass for an hour, she far from hates you. In fact, I _wish_ she hated you.”

            “Does she hate Ray?”

            “Yeah… Why are you smirking? He cheated on me with all of Starling City. Of course she hates him.”

            “I’m not smirking!”

            “You’re totally smirking.”

            “Okay, well, we can either sit in this enclosed space pressed up against each other to further extend your mother’s already present suspicions or we could go out there, eat a shitty breakfast, and I can be on my way.”

            As much as she didn’t want to face the inevitable torture that awaited her, she figured prolonging the interrogation was only going to irritate the situation more. She followed Oliver at a casual distance without trying to make it seem like she was trying to keep a casual distance.

            “All done?” She winked and Felicity had half the mind to turning around and shutting herself in the bathroom for all of eternity. She felt a strange sense of déjà vu, considering in senior year, her mom walked in on she and Ray making out and only asked them if they needed a condom. Yeah, Donna Smoak was the mom from _Mean Girls_ without ever seeing that movie.

            “Or is Oliver going to need to come back?”

            “Nope!” Felicity quickly squeaked. “He’s an efficient guy and got the job done.”

            How come she could never better any verbally uncomfortable situation? Why did she have to pick one of the most sexual-sounding jobs for Oliver to be doing? Why couldn’t she just say he was there to take measurements because she was having her apartment redone? Then again, she’d have to get her already cute apartment redone and that just seemed like time and money not well spent.

            “Yeah, her drain was just kind of clogged and needed a new pipe.” Oliver shrugged. She narrowed her eyes up at him.

            _Why are you better at this than me?_

            “That must have been quite the workout.” The woman’s eyes flickered to Oliver’s noticeably large arms and then winked at Felicity.

            She was screwed.

            “Please, sit down for breakfast. I make a mean omelet, right Felicity?”

            “Mhmm.” Felicity frowned when she turned around to pour the soggy, shell-filled eggs onto a plate next to some charred bacon. The gesture was beyond sweet, but Felicity was surprised she never contracted salmonella as a kid. Donna used to brag that she belonged on 30 minutes meals, but Felicity knew that the only reason that was possible was because Donna never let anything cook for over 30 minutes.

            Oliver really was a good sport about the whole ordeal. He was careful to make the appropriate complimentary noises as he attempted to ingest the physical definition of putridness. She had to hold in her bubbling laughter at the way he cringed behind his bright smiles. His nose wrinkled like a little kid that didn’t want to eat his vegetables. Evens still, she was impressed at how he thoroughly convinced Donna that she made a good breakfast.

            “So, are you single?” Felicity was surprised it took an entire terrible meal for her mother to get to the burning questions she ever so desperately wanted to ask from the moment she laid eyes on Oliver.

            He took them in stride though. “Yeah, I actually fairly recently got out of a relationship.”

            “I’m sure you know Felicity and Ray broke up.”

            “I do.” He nodded. “Felicity is my friend, after all.”

            Honestly, thank God she wasn’t the one answering these questions, because she surely would have made some inadvertent innuendo detailing the events of the night before.

            Donna must have had her top reserve on duty, because all she did was merely nod with a curious smile on her face. The wheels were certainly turning. Felicity was smart, but she couldn’t read minds and even if she could, she’d probably take the anxiety over what her mother would say next over the ability to hear the woman’s _every_ thought.

            “Well, thank you for breakfast.” Luckily, Oliver was too quick to slip out before she could enact her bubbling plan and they would be safe from the knowing clutches of Donna Smoak.

            “Oh, well it was just _lovely_ to see you again, Oliver.”

            “It was nice to see you again too. It’s been forever.”

            “I’m glad you’re still friends with her.” She smiled. “Felicity needs a good friend right now more than ever.”

            “Okay, well, Oliver, I will see you in a week.”

            “What’s in a week?” Donna was too quick and Felicity’s mouth was too slow.

            “I’m in a boxing competition.” Oliver retorted.

            “Oh, I bet you _are_. You’re going, Felicity?”

            “Uh, yeah! He’s my friend.” She felt they were pushing the “friend” thing a little too hard, which shouldn’t have been weird, because they were friends. They were just friends with an extensive list of benefits of the sexual nature. Now, apparently she was roped into watching he duke it out with a bunch of sweaty dudes. Whatever, it was better than the alternative of fessing up.

            “I’ll see you then.” He winked and it was evident he really did actually want her there for moral support. Of course, if he were asked, he’d deny that claim to the hundredth degree. It was just an excuse.

            When Oliver left and Donna took one last fleeting look at how well the man wore tight black pants, Felicity took in a puff of air.

            “Oh honey, that might be the sexiest man I’ve ever seen.”

            “I don’t really know how to respond to that, given that he’s my friend.”

            “Felicity, I love you. You’re my world and you know that.” She squeezed her daughters face. “I want nothing but happiness for you and there is no one in this world I respect and trust more than you. That being said, how can someone so smart be so utterly stupid?”

            “Excuse me?”

            “How are you not hitting that?”

            Felicity wanted to outwardly jump up and down in delight at her mother’s wrongness. Maybe she was losing her touch or maybe their act wasn’t as obvious as she’d thought. It was most likely that Donna was extremely distracted by Oliver Queen and couldn’t keep her primary sensors on alert.

            “Me and him?”

            “You clearly still like him.”

            “ _Still_ would imply that I never stopped, which is false. I did stop. I was engaged, after all.”

            “But you’re not still-stopped. You lit up like Christmas when he arrived and there’s no denying the fact that he likes you too.”

            “He does not.” She murmured.

            “He does too. Felicity, he didn’t take his eyes off of you for five seconds. You both have this unspeakable chemistry… This familiarity… This back and forth and I don’t want you to miss out on it just because you’re afraid to move on.”

            “I’ve moved on, Mom.”

            “Okay, who is he?”

            “… I don’t need a guy to be happy.”

            “Maybe, but you do need to get laid. No use in having your lady bits getting all shriveled up.”

            “You do realize this is the weirdest relationship ever, right?” Felicity motioned between the two of them.

            Donna shrugged and disappeared into Felicity’s bedroom. “I say it because I- AH!”

            “Mom?” Felicity raced into her room to see Donna holding a black tie. A huge smile painted across her face and it mimicked the exact face she made when she found out Felicity was no longer a virgin. Again, Donna Smoak was far from a conventional mother. This could have had to do with the possibility of Felicity never losing her virginity or having the desire to thanks to her computer-obsessed tendencies as a kid. Computers were the only thing that mattered. Luckily, she blossomed into a more social kid that was well liked by nerdy boys.

            “Oliver was wearing dress pants and dress shoes. This is a tie. In your bedroom. You _are_ banging him. Oh my God, sweetie, I am so proud of you. How long have you been dating? Why wouldn’t you tell me? Is he good in bed?”

            “Alright, pause!” She held up her hands. “We’re not dating, so I didn’t tell you. And I’m not going to answer that last question.”

            “Judging by the sparks between you two, I’m going to go with yes. This explains so much. You don’t look remotely sexually frustrated. You look calm and at ease for the most part. As calm and at ease as _you_ can be, I suppose.”

            “Mom, you can’t tell anyone, okay?”

            “Who am I going to tell? Felicity, I’m just so glad you’re not sitting alone, crying over Ray all the time. I really am, but I do need to offer you some advice.”

            “Please don’t be sexual… Please don’t be sexual…”

            “Be careful.”

            “Mom, we’ve established rules. It’s fine.”

            “Oh I’m sure you’ll find a countless amount of ways to keep each other at arm’s length, but what I’m telling you is not to pass up on potential love simply because you’re afraid.”

            “Afraid?”

            “Afraid that he’ll hurt you like Ray did. Safeguarding yourself is not protecting you from any hurt, baby, it’s making you miss out on something as invaluable as love.”

            Felicity stared at her mom in shock for a moment. “I need to go shower.”

 

* * *

 

 

            Oliver took a shower and then responded to his sister’s text by going over to his mother’s house. Apparently, Robert brought yet another woman home and actually tried to kick Moira out of her own room. He was drunk and sloppy, but his words and actions seemed to have been the final straw. Moira was officially moving out despite the money (okay, Robert agreed to pay her a substantial amount too) and had a new place.

            “Mom?” He jogged up the walkway and to the front steps of her elite row house. It wasn’t a mansion, but it was in the most expensive part of town and looked like it should have been a courthouse or something.

            “Oliver!” She smiled brightly and it was clear the move had done her some good, freed her of some demons that he was happy to see vanished.

            “I got Thea’s 911 text. Is everything okay?”

            “Oh, I just knew you wouldn’t hurry otherwise, sweetheart.”

            “Mom, you can’t just scare me like that.”

            “Everything is fine. Thea’s been getting a little too cozy with that boyfriend of hers, but nonetheless, we’re fine over here despite your lack of checking in.”

            How did she manage to make him feel guilty even when she’d initially been in the wrong? He wasn’t even going to bring up the whole “talking to Laurel and Tommy behind his back” situation. It wasn’t worth the public humiliation.

            “I’m sorry. I’ve been busy.”

            “Too busy for your family?”

            “I talk to Thea every day. You could call me if you wanted.”

            “I gave you life, Oliver. I would think you wouldn’t have an issue extending me the courtesy of reaching out.”

            He sighed. “What’s up?”

            “I’m having a move-in party in the grand ballroom of the Verdant hotel on Friday evening.”

            “Isn’t the whole point of a house party to have it at your house?”

            “And have them mess up Raisa’s hard work by trashing the place? This isn’t one of your college keg-stands, Oliver. I want to have a classy event independent of your father and his people so none of them are allowed. Bring a date.”

            “I’m not bringing Laurel.”

            “It doesn’t have to be Laurel.” She waved off. “Bring a friend, but for God’s sakes, Oliver, bring someone.”

            “Why is it so important to you that I bring a date?”

            “Because I will not have my incredibly handsome son looking like a fool in front of all our family and friends. Wallowing is not a pretty color on you.”

            He sighed. “Fine, I’ll bring someone. I just need to find someone.”

            “Bring your bed-buddy.” Thea peeked around from her mother and sat on the top step. Roy was shortly behind her, but backed up a bit at the sight of Oliver.

            “Speedy!” Oliver winced. “What the hell are you-”

            “-Don’t even try to deny it, bro. The sneaking off, relaxed demeanor, emphasis that this girl isn’t your girlfriend, you’ve got a fu… bed-buddy.” She quickly changed her language when Moira began casting a sharp glare her way.

            “Oliver, is this true?”

            “Um…” He tried to avoid sexual conversations with his mother since she and his father gave him the talk when he was ten. Past then, he left those few conversations to his dad, despite their differences.

            “Do you even like this girl?”

            “He likes her all right.” Thea smirked.

            “Thea.” Oliver’s tone was lethal.

            “How long has this been going on?” Moira urged.

            “A couple months.” He grumbled, hating every second of this.

            “Months! And we haven’t met her?”

            _Oh you have._

            “You don’t meet friends with benefits, mom.” Thea sighed.

            “Um, how do you know that?” Roy shot back.

            “I watch movies, Harper. Now can it.”

            Oliver tried not to laugh at that one, because the boy did look taken back by her response. Then again, that’s what made it funnier. His current situation made him less in the mood for giggles.

            “It’s complicated.” And honestly, it kind of was.

            “You seem happy.” Moira shrugged. “What’s so complicated about that?”

            “I’ll bring a friend.” He finally answered. “I’ll bring a friend to your party.”

            To be fair, he wasn’t technically going to try and bring his fuck-buddy to the party, because that version of Felicity would be left at the door until the end of the night. She was actually an extremely safe “date”, because his family knew her, never suspected he’d ever be sleeping with her, and Felicity was nice unlike some of the higher end people that showed up at Queen parties. For the night, she’d be Felicity the friend and that was it.

            If she said yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited for the upcoming scenes I've got cooking. Look out!


	21. Overwatch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doing the right thing goes a long way in the eyes of fate.

“So what book are we reading?” Donna asked the group of gossiping girls and an already exasperated Felicity. She frequently contemplated on actually joining a real book club with a bunch of middle-aged women in order to find people with true desire (or just nothing better to do) to read.

            “We’re supposed to be reading _Fight Club._ ” Felicity sighed. “And like _Fight Club_ we only have one rule.”

            “Never talk about books.” Iris smirked.

            “Oh thank God.” Donna giggled. “I spent all last night sparknoting a bunch of popular book titles.”

            “We’d never put you through something like that. This isn’t a college lit class.” Nyssa scoffed. “Some of us have better things to do.”

            Iris shook her head. “Speaking of having better things to do, where’s Sara?”

            A darkness shrouded Nyssa’s stare for a brief second and Felicity was forced to recall the evening she’d showed up on her doorstep, expressing her worries that Sara was messing around with drugs. Of course it hadn’t escaped the blonde’s attention that the woman in question wasn’t present tonight and Nyssa seemed particularly eager to talk about anything but Sara. She made a mental note to investigate when they weren’t at a dive bar.

            “I think the real question is why we, post-grad women with well-paying jobs, are still getting our drinks at college watering holes?”

            “You just don’t want to run into Oliver again.” Iris snorted. “Because apparently you two hate each other now.”

            Nyssa seemed too relieved to be off the subject of Sara to notice the shift in conversation they were presently on. Donna was nudging Felicity under the table and it took all her willpower not to scream.

            “No, I just don’t really like having frat boys objectify me when I walk in or having some chick who can’t hold her alcohol throwing up a mere five feet away from me.”

            “The bartender is cute.” Iris shrugged.

            Felicity glanced at the shorter, toned, busy guy. He had cropped dark hair and didn’t look a day over 18. He looked younger than that, actually, but she figured you had to be 18 to tend bar.

            “I thought you and Barry were working your way towards something.”

            “Gee, Felicity, it’s been like, five days. I’m not committing to marry him just yet.”

            “Sweet little Barry Allen? Oh, I remember him! He was always bopping around with Felicity and Ray when they’d go to their science conventions together. He had a back-brace right?” Donna’s eyes widened. “Such a good boy.”

            “He doesn’t look like that now. He’s handsome, now.”

            “Watch it, Smoak. I know I said I wasn’t marrying him, but that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to sink your perfectly manicured paws into him.” Iris teased and raised her drink to her lips. Felicity laughed, but she couldn’t help think that’s how she’d felt about her situation with Oliver, aside from her situation starting on a much less romantic note. She wasn’t going to marry him, but she didn’t want anyone else to have him right now.

            Oh what a terrible, _terrible_ way to feel as a F.W.B.

            “You better treat him right, Iris.” She meant it too. Barry had been hurt a dozen times before, not exclusively in the romance department, but the man was definitely short on luck there. He was almost too nice for his own good.

            “Relax, I’ll show him a real good time.”

            “A respectful, honest, committed good time.” She clarified for her sometimes-breezy friend.

            “I feel like this is prom night and I’m the guy and you’re the daughter’s father.”

            “Felicity has always been the “mom” of the friend group. She used to water down all her friend’s drinks so they wouldn’t get drunk.” Her mom patted her hand fondly.

            “They acted drunk anyway.” Felicity shrugged. “At least I knew they were safe. Ray used to be able to drink an entire handle of Vodka and I really didn’t want to be spending my next morning, hungover in a morgue.”

            “I like how you always used her deviousness for good. I mean virtually, you could be the most dominant super villain on the face of the earth. If you decided to run Vertigo, it would never fail. Instead, you dedicate your time to heroics.” Nyssa nodded thoughtfully. “It’s quite admirable.”

            “Um, I help old people get their internet going and undergo sexual harassment to try and promote decent funding ideas. I’d hardly hold me among the ranks of Wonder Woman.”

            “Who knows? Maybe someday you’ll get your own codename.”

            “What? “The Mother”? Am I going to have to get a rocket-powered minivan?”

            “Don’t be ridiculous. Your car is perfectly mom-like as is.” Iris laughed.

            Felicity’s opened her mouth to respond, when the surprising sound of shattering glass along with breaking wood startled the loud bar into silence. Everyone turned to see a wooden stool thrown through the front window. Behind the broken shards, a dark-haired man overcome with anger breathed heavily.

            Felicity recognized him to be Oliver’s boss at the gym: Slade Wilson.

 

* * *

 

            “How did mom manage to convince us to relinquish our evenings to help her unbox China?” Thea asked as she not so carefully plopped another box in front of Oliver, who sat in sweats on the floor and was carefully picking through old pictures. “And by the way, I don’t mean teacups and trinkets. I mean she could probably slice up the entire country and keep it in all these boxes.”

            “I didn’t have any plans after work today.” Oliver shrugged. He didn’t really mind helping his mother out with this kind of thing, mostly because it didn’t really involve spending long periods of time with his mom. It allowed him to hang out with Thea in a familiar environment, even if the setting had changed.

            “Really?” She pushed and sat beside him. “No plans with your sex-buddy?”

            “It kind of grosses me out how curious you are about my situation?”

            “Mostly because I don’t believe you have one at all.”

            “You don’t think I could get one?”

            “That’s not what I said. I know you’re my brother and all, but I’m aware you’re not a hideous man. It’s genetically impossible for the Queen’s to be ugly.”

            “Nice.”

            “I just think this girl is a lot more than a quick tumble between the sheets here and there. You’re with her all the time and you seem… happy.”

            “Sex makes people happy.”

            She wrinkled her nose. “As hard as it is to do so, I try to separate you from the action of sex. Even when I say it, I’m kidding. Anyway, sex doesn’t make people happy. It makes people feel good, but not happy. It’s about the person when it comes to happiness.”

            “And how would you know this?”

            “Are we really going to go down _that_ road right now?”

            “That depends if I’ll need to break a few of Roy’s fingers.”

            “You’re all talk.”

            “You know I could.”

            “You won’t.”

            “And why not?”

            “Because I’m happy too.” Thea smiled. “And I want you to really have that feeling, because you haven’t since Laurel and now this _girl_ is bringing that out of you again.”

            “You don’t even know who she is. What if I’m just getting with a prostitute?”

            “Ever see _Pretty Woman_?” Thea quirked.

            “I’m not hooking up with a prostitute.”

            “Or Julia Roberts?”

            “Or Julia Roberts.”

            “Is there a reason you won’t go there with her? I mean, it’s been 5 months since Laurel dumped you. You have a new job, new place… Why not a new girl?”

            “Because I’m still discovering myself and she’s still discovering herself. We like the arrangement we have right now, Speedy. I don’t want to be in a committed relationship right now. The committed relationship is what fucked me over in the first place. She feels the same way and we like where we are.”

            Thea sighed. “Whatever you say, bro. What are you going to do about Mom’s party?”

            “I’ll find someone.” He shrugged. “Would it be lame to take my sister?”

            “Sorry, but I have a date.” She smiled. “Sadly I’m not seven anymore and you’re not pretending to be Prince Charming for me while I wear my Cinderella dress.”

            Oliver pulled a photo from one of the boxes. “This is from my senior prom. You were little and were so convinced everyone had dressed up, because they heard about the ball you were throwing. Everyone took pictures with you and had tea with you in order to keep the idea going.”

            She took the photo. “I remember that. You let me stand on your feet when you danced with me. There’s Laurel, Tommy, Barry, Ray, you and Felicity.”

            Oliver glanced at the candid and smiled at the fact that he was talking to a then-brunette Felicity Smoak. She was smiling brightly and looked pretty in her pale blue dress. His hands were in his pockets and his tie and vest matched Laurel’s lavender dress. She was fixing his collar for him and it made him feel warm thinking about it, because he was fairly sure this was one of the only pictures where he was next to her or focused on her. It highlighted their friendship, the one that fell through the cracks of everyone’s mind. The one that didn’t fall through his or hers.

            “We looked good.” He remarked, to break the silence that settled between them.

            “You? Look at me!” Thea stood to her feet as a loud knocking came from the front door. “That’s got to be Big Belly Burger. It’s both a lifesaver and death wish that they deliver now.”

            After another moment of glancing at the picture, Oliver quickly shoved it into his jacket pocket. He figured it wasn’t ideal to hold onto the past, given how much things have changed, but a little momento wouldn’t kill him.

            “Ollie?” Thea’s nervous voice came from the front and his warm memories faded and he froze into hyperawareness.

            “Speedy?”

            “Help.”

 

* * *

 

            It didn’t take long for _Wintergreen’s_ to break into full-out hysteria as Slade and couple of his juiced buddies went around, jabbing people with needles that Felicity could only suspect to be Vertigo. Nyssa leaped into action and began warding off some of the burly men while Felicity tried to guide her mother and Iris out of the bar.

            Her eyes flickered to the trapped bartender and just as her attention focused on him, he was nicked right in the neck with the substance and was soon smashed over the head with a club and collapsed to the ground.

            “Go through the bathroom window.” She ordered. “I’ll be right there.”

            “No, Felicity, you’re coming now.”

            “I am, but give me a second, mom. I’ll be okay.” She shook her still-concerned Mother off her arm and slid under the bar and over to the unconscious boy. Broken glass bottles and loud screams still voiced in surround sound, but there was something about the kid that made her realize if she didn’t do something, he wasn’t getting home that night.

            “Hey, wake up.” She began smacking his face gently and then with more force. Quickly thinking, she reached up and grabbed one of the beer nozzles and doused his face with the cold liquid. His eyes slowly fluttered open and she continued to pat his face.

            “Wh-Where… Who are…”

            “No time. Come on, you’re coming with me.”

            “My mommy said not to go home with strangers.” He slurred. “Unless… You’re my mom?”

            Felicity had to hold her tongue (something she was unaware she could even do sometimes) against arguments that she was a mere 6 years older than this kid and just nodded to get him up. She checked to see if the coast was clear and besides another muscular man being thrust over the bar and almost knocking her over, it was pretty clear.

            “Let’s go.” She struggled, slinging one of his arms over hers. In her heels, they were about the same height, though she deeply regretted wearing them now. If she knew she’d be in the midst of a bar raid and rescuing a stricken teenager, she might have opted for sneakers.

            Nyssa raised her foot in a height kick, knocking Slade Wilson on his ass. Then, she offered him a swift uppercut and leaped out the gaping hole in the broken window. This image made Felicity wonder if combat boots were the way to go, if just to support the badass image that came with the territory. Still, she wobbled into the bathroom with her new friend and shut the door on a few predatory men behind her, having to force herself into kicking him in the kneecap with her heel. Okay, maybe they weren’t totally useless.

            “Are you going to change me?” He asked innocently. “I’m a big boy.”

            “No, but we are going to play a game.” She tried. “You’re going to climb through that window and then pull me through. Very quickly.

            “Okay, mom.” He agreed and stepped on the dirty toilet seat and shimmied his way out the window.

            “I was kidding about that codename.” She muttered to herself. Luckily, this kid seemed very obedient to his mother, because he reached through and pulled her out with little to no trouble whatsoever. Before she could barely cherish the sweet taste of safety, her mom basically strangled her with a air-sucking embrace.

            “I’m guessing our next visit is going to be in Vegas?” Felicity breathed.

            “Oh yes.” Donna agreed with a slight laugh. “The only danger there is losing all your money at the slots or accidentally getting hitched.”

            After all was said and done with the police, Nyssa leaned against her car staring straight ahead. Felicity cautiously approached her and stood next to her.

            “So, you were super badass in there.”

            “I saw her, Felicity.”

            “Who?”

            “Sara.” Nyssa closed her eyes. “She wasn’t in the bar, but she was on the outside when I came out. She looked… Well, she looked like those men.”

            “We have to tell Detective Lance.”

            “Tell him what? That I failed him? I promised I’d look after her and keep her safe after how broken up Sara was about their divorce. She was acting stir-crazy until she’d met me. You know that better than anyone.”

            “You two made each other better.” Felicity smiled softly. “That’s love. But Sara is her own person, Nyssa. She makes her own decisions and you can’t blame yourself because she made them. None of these people are necessarily bad people. They have an addiction that needs to be stopped. The only way that can be done is if a task force of support is formed.”

            She exhaled heavily. “Alright. I’ll tell him.”

            “I could go with you.”

            “No.” She shook her head lightly. “I think you have a child to drive home there, Overwatch.”

            “What the hell did you just call me?” She asked.

            “Overwatch. You’re the mom. You watch over all the children. Big or small.”

            Felicity smiled brightly as she got out her keys. “I like it.”

 

            “So, where am I taking you?” Felicity asked the boy. “I think it would help to know a name first, actually, and that you’re not going to throw up in my car.”

            “Roy.” He replied.

            “Felicity.” She shook his hand.

            He rubbed his head gently. “I hope blood is covered under your lease.”

            “Well, I’m just glad you’re using words like “lease” instead of “goo-goo ga-ga” at this point. Besides, I checked your wounds and you should be fine. Just a bump. I do advise seeing a doctor at some point though.”

            “Pass.” He grunted.

            “Now I’m starting to see that little kid again.”

            “Everything is hazy.”

            “You were injected with a drug. Toxicologists said the serum they used tonight wasn’t Vertigo. It was a different, temporary batch. It was just a test for those that were attacking. Stay away from the drug and you should be fine. Again, where am I taking you?”

            “Oh… Uh…” He stumbled. Did he really want to take this kind girl into the Glades? He was in no shape to fight his way into his house. So, he thought of the first place he could think of.

 

* * *

 

            “Oh my God!” Thea placed her hands over her mouth as Roy stood at her doorstep, slumped into another woman, who was desperately in need of shifting his weight off of her.

            “He’s having a reaction.” She hurried. “He’s going to be okay, but he was injected with this knockoff version of Vertigo. He does need to lay down and maybe stop bleeding from his head too.”

            “Ollie!” Thea quickly yelled again and this time, she heard hurrying steps approaching. The woman’s eyes widened as he reached her. Oliver took a moment to stare at her in equal confusion and surprise before realizing Roy was in a much more threatening position than any “small world” scenario in front of them.

            “Let’s get him upstairs.” He ordered and leaned down to scoop Roy over his shoulder. The blonde followed Thea and Oliver to assess and make sure he was in good hands, something Thea would certainly thank her for once she was sure of that too.

            “Careful, Ollie!”

            “He’s thrashing.” Oliver gritted and gently dropped Roy on his back.

            Thea slid to his side and took his face in her hands.

            “You might not want to do that.” Their unexpected guest suggested. “He might get violent. He kind of tried to take a swing at me in the car. Luckily, I was kind of a champ at dodgeball so…”

            Oliver turned to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay? What happened?”

            “Strap him down and then I’ll explain.” She nodded and the now upright and glaring Roy. Quickly, Oliver found some rope and threw each of them a strand to tie his legs and feet to a bedpost.

            “Not exactly how I pictured my first time tying someone up would go.” She muttered to herself. Thea raised an eyebrow at the babbling blonde, who merely blushed and continued tying one of Roy’s hands to the post. Thea deepened her curious stare at her and she knew the woman noticed, but Thea was suddenly recognizing her too and as if fate would have it, a picture slid out of Oliver’s pocket and onto the floor.

            “Felicity? Felicity Smoak?” Thea asked once Roy was secure.

            “The one and only.” She shrugged. “Well, I think. It’s kind of a unique name, but apparently there are supposed to be six people in the world that look just like you. I don’t know if that applies to names as well, but better safe than sorry.”

            “You haven’t changed.” Thea smiled.

            “You have.” She shrugged. “Then again, the last time I saw you was when you were like 10 so that’s good, I guess.”

            “You’re blonde. Wow, you look really good as a blonde.” She mused. “Ollie, doesn’t she look really good as a blonde?”

            Oliver looked to Felicity, who was trying really hard not to look expectant or too nonchalant.

            “Yeah.” He added a little shrug. “I guess.”

            Thea rolled her eyes. “I mean, you’re like… hot now. You were so nerdy.”

            “I’m still pretty nerdy.” Felicity quirked. “In fact, I think the reason this one freaked out was because I started talking in-depth about _The X-Files_ and how there were always episodes like this where drugs made people do crazy shit.”

            “I’m really thankful you brought him home. What the hell happened?”

            In her own words, Felicity told the Queen siblings what happened that night and hearing how dangerous it was, it was almost impossible for Oliver not to hurry to her and make sure more carefully that she was okay. He kept his place in order to maintain his cool in front of Thea.

            “This was really cool of you, saving him and all.” Oliver smiled.

            “You’re a hero.” Thea added more enthusiastically. “How can I ever repay you?”

            “Forgive me for awkwardly walking into your room when you were nine thinking it was Oliver’s room?” She offered. “That still haunts me in my sleep sometimes.”

            Thea laughed. “I’ll do you one better. Be Oliver’s date to our big party this Friday?”

            Oliver’s eyes widened in surprise and Felicity really didn’t know what to say.

            “Speedy-”

            “-What? You were going to ask _me_ for God’s sakes and since you’re not going to bring your bed-buddy, why not bring a real life superhero? I’m sure Roy would love the opportunity to thank her too.”

            “Um…” Oliver cleared his throat. He was more amazed this worked out in his favor than anything. Now he didn’t have to awkwardly ask her and go through the whole “this isn’t actually a date I just need a major favor” speech. Now, Thea was setting it up, making it the opposite of a date when a 16 year old did it.

            “What do you say?” Thea was bright-eyed and full of life and quite frankly, very hard to say no to in such circumstances.

            “Okay… Sure.” Felicity added with a bit more enthusiasm. “Yeah, it’ll be fun.”

            “It will.” Oliver nodded to her and she winked at him when Thea turned her attention back to Roy.


	22. Fit for a Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Queen Family parties have everything high school prom has: music, drunk people, declarations of love, and a ton of drama.

            “You realize this is totally a date, right?” Donna beamed as she helped Felicity pin her hair in front of the vanity mirror. She was beyond aware that her daughter was a knockout and deserved a handsome, prince charming-like man to sweep her off her feet. She never thought Ray was that guy, despite liking him enough. She liked him more because Felicity seemed happy. Donna was always in favor of Felicity spreading out and learning what the world had to offer before committing herself to another person for the rest of her life.

            “I’m doing him a favor.” She snorted. “He didn’t have anyone else.”

            Donna rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry, do you need your prescription heightened? Because a hot guy like that can get anyone.”

            “Thanks mom.”

            “I just mean he obviously picked you for a reason…”

            “Mom.” Felicity warned. “We talked about this. I’m not his girlfriend, he doesn’t want me to be his girlfriend, and I’m never going to be his girlfriend.”

            “Do you?”

            “What?”

            “Do you want to be his girlfriend?”

            “I don’t want to be anyone’s girlfriend right now. I was someone’s girlfriend for a very long time and that clearly didn’t work out for me. I built my life around that, mom. I’m not jumping into another relationship anytime soon.”

            “Oh, Felicity. You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. Do you know that?”

            “I’m sure you’ve run into some genius card-counters in Vegas.”

            “But you’re being so stupid.” She muttered under her breath as she walked into the other room to get more pins.

            “I heard that!”

            “Honey, I know you were hurt. And as someone who’s had her fair share of disastrous relationships, I understand why you’re afraid of feeling that hurt again. I’ve never been in a relationship that’s worked, that’s really stuck, but I know love and I know it’s out there. More importantly, I know my daughter and I know she doesn’t throw the towel in after the first round.”

            “I’m not throwing in the towel. I’m taking a break.” She finalized and by the tone of her voice, Donna could tell she wasn’t having this conversation right now. She understood, because Oliver would be there any moment. As much as she wanted to point out the fact that Oliver picking her up was very date-like etiquette, she kept her mouth closed and made a mental note to use that for future debate. With Felicity, there always would be one.

            “Well, regardless of the status of your relationship-”

            “-Friends with benefits.”

            “… He really is a lucky guy.”

            Felicity’s persistent look of annoyance softened into a light smile and she nodded in appreciation. She really did look good. She had to. The Queen’s were notorious for having some of the most lavish and ornate parties in the city. Their house was constantly the spot for the citywide Christmas party. Only the highest of elites and their kids ever went. Tommy and Laurel always went, because Tommy was the son of Malcolm and Laurel was Oliver’s girlfriend, but outside of that, no one else did.

            The doorbell rang and Felicity almost had to tackle Donna to beat her to the door. She was glad she took a moment to look through the peephole and kept her small little gasp to herself.

 _“God, Oliver Queen rocks a tux.”_ She remembered thinking that during senior prom, but it was a rather fleeting and nerve-inducing thought.

            She opened the door and was rather proud when Oliver’s eyes widened as he caught a full glimpse at her. His mouth hung open a little, unable to properly string words together to summarize what he was thinking. She wore a decadent, ruby, strapless gown that perfectly glossed across every curve and swirled around her legs in a small pool of mystic red on the floor. Her lipstick matched her dress and he had to force himself from staring too intently at them and finally met her eyes, which sparkled extra bright thanks to the elegant contrast of her makeup.

            She smiled brightly at the effect. “It’s like I decided to go for the whole “scarlet as in _Scarlet Letter_ thing” but you’re not exactly a priest and my husband isn’t creepy and presumed dead by the village people. Or existent, for that matter.”

            “Huh?” He replied dumbly, still in awe at the woman in front of him.

            “You didn’t read the _Scarlet Letter_ in high school? You didn’t even see _Easy A_?”

            He shrugged bashfully. “You did my homework for me. It’s not my fault I didn’t learn.”

            “ _Once_. Don’t think I won’t shut this door in your face right now, Oliver Queen.”

            He chuckled and moved past her and into the living room. “Wouldn’t dream of it. Hi, Donna.”

            “Oh, Oliver! Hi!” Felicity tried not to snort at her mother’s attempt at a lowkey, breezy attitude. Currently, the woman was sprawled across the couch in a tight tracksuit with a glass of red wine in her hands and red lipstick on her lips. Subtle.

            “You look fine as hell in that suit.”

            “I’m going to go get my purse.” Felicity hurried. “Before that wine actually kicks in and you get a striptease.”

            “Oh, Felicity, that was one time!”

            “I was nine and the cable guy did _not_ want to see your neon green bra, Mom!”

            Oliver laughed. “Was he delusional?”

            “Thank you sweetheart.” Donna got up and patted his arm. “A real gentleman always compliments the prospect of seeing an older woman naked no matter what he’s really thinking.”

            “You should really run an etiquette class.” Felicity leaned in and kissed her mom on the cheek before shuffling past them both in a pair of heels and swung the door open.

            “Have fun you two. I feel like this is prom all over again.”

            “Have a good night.” Oliver winked and followed Felicity out the door.

            “You didn’t ride your bike over, right? Bikes are hot, but my dress flying above my head as we cruise through Starling City really isn’t.”

            “I didn’t take my bike.” He grinned. “And I beg to differ.”

            No, he took a limo and Felicity tried her best to subdue the prom parallels and contrasts that were running through her mind. She’d been in limos since prom, too. Ray had been invited to various types of galas when he was appointed CEO of the company. Even still, she felt those prom night jitters that will require alcohol to reduce. She wasn’t going to get drunk around the Queen family. She knew she wasn’t actually Oliver’s date, but she didn’t want to humiliate him.

            “I can’t believe this is a housewarming party.” She gaped at the ballroom. “When my mom and I moved to Starling, our idea of a house party was making the neighbors help us paint.”

            She cringed when she overheard a group of delegates whispering about Oliver and Laurel’s drama when they walked past. She tried to distract him by weaving them towards the chocolate fountain. She always wanted chocolate.

            “Yours sounds infinitely more fun.” He quipped.

            “Really? Because everyone here looks like they’re reenacting any ballroom scene from any Disney princess movie.”

            “You don’t.” He looked down at her again and she tried not to appear moderately offended, given her childhood obsession with Disney princesses, but it was difficult.

            “You look like a Bond girl. You look badass yet elegant.”

            “I want that on my grave stone.” She patted his chest. “You’re looking rather Bond-like this evening. It even looks like you shaved.”

            “Mom would bug the shit out of me if I didn’t.”

            “Speaking of which…”

            “Oliver!” An exaggerated and overenthusiastic greeting came to their right as Moira Queen moved gracefully across the floor and to embrace her son in front of all the people around them. She looked stunning in her beige gown with a modest yet sophisticated golden shawl draped across her back.

            Felicity stood shyly behind him, always slightly intimidated by the powerful woman. The way she saw it, Moira Queen could be taken like fire or ice. There was no in between and people either liked or hated her. She was complex, but the opinions people liked or disliked her weren’t. She either helped a life or vastly screwed someone over. Middle ground was a foreign concept.

            “Who’s this?” Her lips were tight and Felicity wanted to shrink down to the size of an ant.

            “You remember Felicity.” Oliver smiled and broke away from his hug with Moira to reach behind him and gently take Felicity’s arm, guiding her forward.

            “Of course I do.” It didn’t escape Felicity that the woman looked immensely shocked, like Oliver decided to bring a rabid cat as his date instead of an incredibly dressed IT girl from his past. When the initial surprise faded, disappointment was evident and damn, if Felicity really _was_ a potential girlfriend, she’d be offended by the reaction. Instead, she was just Oliver’s fake-date and only had to play a role. That alleviated some of the tension that built up inside her core.

            “It’s nice to see you again, Mrs. Queen.” She reached out and shook her hand.

            “As it is nice to see you as well, Felicity. I didn’t realize you and Oliver were a… _thing_.”

            She seemed disgusted by the idea and it wasn’t the obvious disgust that normal people had when they ate a really gross burrito, but the kind that pompous people displayed when they wanted to express disapproval but didn’t want to be called out for it.

            Oliver seemed to recognize the familiar tone and wrapped his arm around her waist, signaling to anyone that was watching that he wanted her near him, that she was staying whether Moira liked it or not.

            Moira’s lip twitched at the contact. “Oh, I bet. You were always incredibly bright in High School. Where did you end up going to college?”

            “MIT.” Oliver answered proudly.

            “My goodness.” She chuckled and sipped from her beverage. “That bright of a school and she can’t speak for herself, huh?”

            Felicity’s eyebrows shot to her head while Oliver gave her an apologetic look before turning for a moment to scan the area for potential exits. In his glance, he noticed a familiar duo hovering about a series of Starling’s finest exclusives and felt his jaw tighten.

            “Mom, Felicity, I’ll be right back.” He thoughtlessly moved past the helpless Felicity and predator-like Moira.

            “Oliver…”

            Felicity dug her nails into his back, trying to claw at him to signal that she didn’t want to be left alone with his she-devil of a mother. She remembered horror stories from Laurel when she and Oliver first started dating. Despite Moira’s obvious adoration for Laurel now, it took time for her to get used to the idea of anyone dating her precious baby boy and she would try to scare her off.

            Her motions didn’t work and she turned to face Moira dead-on. Why the hell was she nervous? This wasn’t an actual “meeting the parents” situation. For one thing, she’d met Moira before (she’d been a lot nicer when she wasn’t thought of as a potential love interest for Oliver) and also, Felicity had no real reason to want to impress her. If Moira didn’t like her, it wasn’t much sweat off her back, because she didn’t need to live with it.

 

* * *

 

 

            “What the hell are you two doing here?” Oliver wasted no time in confronting Tommy and Laurel, who laughed and bantered with others as if they weren’t at their ex-best friend/boyfriend’s family party. Neither looked particularly phased by his presence either. In fact, both looked happily tipsy.

            “Oliver! You finally showed up. I see you bought yourself a date.” Tommy slurred. “Brought. I’m sorry, I meant brought. I haven’t even seen her honestly.”

            “Tommy, stop it…” Laurel did her best to bite back a laugh.

            Their company still howled at Tommy’s joke and Oliver felt his knuckles clutch at both the quip and the accusation behind its lightheartedness.

            “Why. Are. You. Here?”

            “Your mother invited us. Ollie, we weren’t just close with you. We were close with your entire family.” Laurel placed her wine glass down. “Which is why we need to patch things up. I don’t want this to be weird for you.”

            “It shouldn’t have to be! I shouldn’t have to worry about seeing my ex-best friend and my ex-girlfriend who cheated on me with my ex-best friend at _my_ mother’s housewarming party.”

            “Take that up with your mother.” Tommy nodded. “We were invited and we’re friends with everyone here, unlike you. You’ve dropped off the face of the earth and we’re all worried about you, man.”

            “You’re not worried about me. You want to get away with what you did clean of charge. You want everything to be the same except for the fact that Laurel originally chose me first.”

            “Yeah and that worked out well.” He sneered.

            “It worked out until she got tired of waiting around. Laurel, if I would have proposed to you two years ago, would you be with Tommy right now?”

            Laurel stepped back in surprise and began stammering. Tommy stared at her expectantly. Oliver was confident enough in his answer to remain completely still. He’d thought this over countless times when he was mourning the loss of his relationship with her. He knew the truth.

            “I… I don’t know. Yes?”

            “Laurel?” Tommy’s voice faltered.

            “Look, I was in love with Ollie. There’s no denying that, but I fell out of love with him because he kept running away. I fell in love with you because you didn’t. What if’s don’t matter. What matters is what _did_ happen.”

            “You basically just said Tommy was your second choice.” Oliver shrugged.

            “Yeah, you did…” It was easy to see the man’s heart breaking before his eyes. Laurel needed to act fast if she wanted to salvage this. Oliver really didn’t want her to salvage anything.

            “Ollie, I know you’re pissed, but I want to thank you. I want to thank you for never proposing to me, because yes, I would have agreed, but it would have been to the wrong man. Somewhere along the way, I would have fell for Tommy, because I’ve never felt for you the way I feel for him now.”           

            Tommy straightened up as Oliver felt his fists clenching again.

            “Which is why…” Laurel dropped down to one knee. “I’m asking you to marry me.”

            Everyone in the room gasped. The music stopped and everyone became incredibly still. Oliver performed another scan until he met the shocked gaze of Felicity Smoak. Moira looked rather taken aback and upset too. No one felt as mixed in turmoil as he did, being the idiot standing right next to the man proposed to. It didn’t help that almost everyone knew and chatted about the whole Oliver/Laurel/Tommy love triangle earlier. He knew Felicity was trying to distract him when they walked in, but he’d heard it and just pretended he didn’t notice.

            “I’m guessing this is a bad time to ask for a blowjob?” He teased.

            She shook her head with a grin on her lips. “Yes, Tommy.”

            “Well, I’ll say yes anyway.” He gently pulled her to her feet and planted a life-affirming kiss on her lips.

            Oliver couldn’t take it anymore. When Tommy and Laurel pulled away, he lunged at him and tackled him to the ground, knocked various items to the floor with individual shattering noises.

 

* * *

 

 

            “So, what got you and Oliver talking again?” Moira asked with a fake veil of innocence to her voice. That woman was planning on snapping the trap shut.

            “We’ve always been friends.” She shrugged. “Talking to him is easy.”

            “Talking is very different from _talking_ , my dear.”

            “I can’t tell if you mean in a sexual kind of way and if you are, that’s not really “first meeting” conversation, right? Unless you’re my mother, which you’re not.”

            “You really haven’t changed, have you?”

            “A little bit. I’m blonde?” She offered. She was aware many other things have changed since high school, much deeper things, but it was like being asked what you wanted for Christmas. You know until the very moment someone asks you upfront.

            “And a lovely one at that.” Moira nodded adamantly. “And I see the way you look at him. I’m afraid my son just doesn’t feel the same way towards you.”

            “What?”

            “You’ve always had a school-girl crush on him and he made you feel special by being nice to you, but he was the rich captain of the football team and you were the black sheep in the computer lab. This is your chance to redo everything, for the geek to get the guy. It’s wrong how he’s using you and I assure you I raised him better than this.”

            Felicity opened her mouth to speak, trying to gage her words and find a comeback that didn’t rhyme with “Duck Flu”. She was pretty amazed Oliver turned out as he did considering the shrewd woman before her.

            “It’s nothing personal, really.” You’d think she was firing Felicity or something by the executive position she was taking right now. “Oliver’s been seeing someone else and frankly, I don’t think he’s quite over Laurel.”

            “ _No, he’s over me. All the time”_

            “Are you sure he’s not over Laurel or _you’re_ not over Laurel?” She retorted and by the way Moira’s eyes widened it was clear no one had talked to her like that in a very long time. In fact, Felicity could have slapped her across the face and received a less-bewildered look.

            “Excuse me?”

            “No, excuse me, because I get that you really liked Laurel and that she’s like the daughter you never had, even though you _do_ have one, but how you’re trying to manipulate the situation is, pardon my language, a really shitty thing to do to your son. No, I’m not Laurel and I can tell you’re disappointed he didn’t walk in with her on his arm, but that was _her_ undoing, not his. You still bring her around like she’s the family trophy and that he isn’t successful if he doesn’t claim it.”

            “That is preposterous-”

            “What’s preposterous, Mrs. Queen…” She imitated Moira’s intonation. “Is the fact that you’re picking sides and not the right one. You of all people.”

            “What’s that supposed to mean?” Felicity knew Moira was interpreting this to be a shot at Moira’s own love life, but she didn’t need to go there. She wasn’t about to fight dirty, just honest.

           "You're his mother! You're supposed to want what's best for him."

            “And you think _you’re_ what’s best for him?”

            “I don’t know!” She shook her head. “But I do know that your son deserves a lot better than someone who deceits and betrays him… with his best friend no less. He deserves someone that fully gives herself to him, someone who loves and appreciates him for everything that he is and accepts him for everything he isn’t. He deserves honesty, loyalty, passion, happiness… Mrs. Queen, he deserves the whole damn list and you need to put his needs and wants above your own, because he’s not going to get that from Laurel.”

            She stood there for a moment, catching her breath from her mostly one-sided verbal battle with the mother of the man she’d been routinely and casually fucking for the past couple months. She expected to be dragged out by security for vocally dragging Moira threw the mud, but instead, the woman continued to silently stare at her curiously before nodding her head slowly.

            “And what do you love most about him, Felicity?”

            Alright, that question threw her through a loop, because again, she expected to be hauled over the shoulder of a large security man (and not in the good way) and on her way out the door by now.

            “What do you love the most about my son?” She repeated and it was this time, Moira took a point in their exchange, because Felicity was now apparently speechless. However, it wasn’t because she didn’t have an answer, but because she did and she’d have to vocalize it. Vocalizing it made it a reality whether she tried to convince herself it was part of the ruse or not. To be fair, none of what she'd said before was a lie. Oliver did deserve all of those things and she really did hate the way Moira treated him. She cared about him for God's sakes. He was her friend. 

           But thinking about what she loved about him was dangerous territory at the least. And yet...

            “I love a lot of things about him I mean... What's not to love? You know that better than anyone." She didn't even try to leave her answer there, because she knew it wouldn't suffice.

            "I love the way he sings when he's making breakfast and how it's always some variation of a series of songs mashed up into one, asynchronous harmony. I love how passionate he is about sports and how he lets bigger things shrug off his shoulders, because he's too busy thinking about everyone else. I love how he is with Thea, how protective he is general, actually. I love how gentle he is.”

           She smiled thoughtfully. “He’s the size of a house and yet he’s so… careful, you know? He’s very aware of the world around him and despite the fact that he can probably move mountains; he’s kind and tender in a way I’ve never seen in anyone else. He’s definitely someone you like to walk you home at night, but he’s also the guy that’ll gently apply bandages when you fall off your kitchen stool and scrape your knee.”

            When she looked up, Moira’s expression changed altogether. She couldn’t gage what the woman was thinking. She looked at a place of processing. Either way, Felicity didn’t have much time to contemplate, because before she knew it, everyone else fell silent and all attention was toward Oliver, Laurel, and Tommy and the proposal that was unfolding.

            Oliver met sad eyes with her. She could see the anger turning around in his mind. She didn’t blame him. Were they really doing this now? Right here? At the Queen’s party? In front of Oliver? It was all very soap opera-y and Felicity almost had to remind herself that she didn’t have a remote to use to switch off the programming.

            Obviously, Tommy said yes and Laurel stood up to plant a kiss on his mouth. Oliver wasn’t even looking at them as it happened. He was looking through them, specifically at Tommy. It didn’t take a genius to know what happened next.

            They hit the ground hard, taking a lot with them. Laurel screeched and begged Oliver to get off Tommy, but Oliver didn’t relent, getting a few decent swings in before Tommy rolled them over and began returning the gesture. It took a few tumbles for anyone to truly react, all parties shocked by the drastic change in pace.

            Felicity hurried past Moira and threw the growing crowd and over to the bloody and cursing men. They were rolling around like two boys in elementary school that couldn’t decide who won the kickball game. She understood that this was definitely a higher emotional intensity than that, but the image of a potentially elementary aged Tommy and Oliver didn’t fail to cross her mind.

            “Felicity?” Laurel stopped her yelling to notice her, but Felicity didn’t respond. Instead, she helped her separate the two and crawled between them. Oliver stopped all course of violence when he came into contact with her and looked down in shame at the course of events.

            “Come on, sweetheart.” Laurel urged as she helped Tommy to his feet.

            “You’re my best friend. You don’t think I want you to be happy? I’m sorry this happened and I’m sorry it happened with Laurel. I can’t stress that enough. I’m sorry I “took” her from you, but I love her, okay? I do. I really really do and maybe we haven’t gone about this the right way, but your pity-party isn’t exactly doing anyone any good, particularly yourself.”

            “You know.” Oliver stood to his feet and Laurel got between them, trying to prevent another outbreak. “I’m not nearly as upset about losing her as I am losing my best friend, because we were friends since we were five and you chose her. Then again, it seems like everyone does.”

            Oliver turned towards his mother. “Everyone chooses perfect Laurel and that’s all good and fine. I don’t need this.”

            Oliver looked down to Felicity. “Are you ready to go?”

            She smiled sadly up at him. “I’ve never been a big fan of slow-jazz anyway.”

            He took her hand and guided her out of the ballroom. They made it about 30 minutes. Felicity secretly had her bets on 20, which only proved that things were getting better, right?

            “What’d I miss?” Thea asked as she straightened her dress and tried to make it look like she hadn’t been messing around in a closet with Roy for the past half hour.

            Moira looked at her. “Proposals, brawls and Felicity Smoak.”

            “Yeah?”

            Moira smiled lightly. “I like her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one ever said the Moira Queen stamp of approval came easily...


	23. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver gets a lot more than a “happy birthday” this year and no, it’s not a party.

“Wanna go grab some drinks tonight?” Slade asked as he spotted Oliver while he benched 250. “I checked the files earlier today because of audit and it’s your birthday tomorrow. When were you planning on saying anything?”

            “You and I don’t really talk about cupcakes and streamers all that often, Slade.” He grunted as he carefully set the weight onto the bar and slid out from underneath it. Slade didn’t really strike him as the kind of guy that was into throwing surprise parties for his friends. Oliver wasn’t a big fan of being on the receiving end of those parties these days. They were fun when he and Laurel were together and Tommy would throw the biggest bashes in the city. They were fun when he had a circle of friends.

            At this point, he didn’t and was okay with not being friends with those phony elites. Clearly, they’d been brainwashed into hating him and he didn’t have the time of day to make a case for himself in front of people he didn’t care about.

            “I’ll invite the other trainers. We’ll get you laid. C’mon, you could use it.”

            “Me? When was the last time _you_ even touched a woman?” Oliver snorted.

            “I’m trying to be nice here, kid. Diggle knows a good spot downtown.”

            “You don’t want to go to Wintergreen’s?” Yeah, Oliver knew about the whole break-in situation and that Slade was jacked up on some knockoff version of Vertigo. Felicity told him before she left his place the night Roy was infected. Thea had kept a close watch on the boy and the only thing that really stood out was his increased irritability level. So, Oliver made Roy join the gym and he’s been training him ever since. He could see the same anger in Slade’s eyes, only it was much more profound. He wondered if he’d been given a higher dosage.

            “I heard that place is trashed.” He said casually. “Bunch of thugs tore it apart a couple weeks ago.”

            “ _Yeah I’m sure they did.”_

            Diggle walked behind him. “Yeah, it was a real crime scene.”

            Oliver looked curiously at the large man, who appeared to be staring down Slade in the same manner Oliver was a second ago. Did Diggle know anything about his condition? Was he involved? He was awfully large and hulking. It would be near impossible to take him down.

            “So whattya say, kid? The bunch of us getting drunk on a Wednesday night? What could be better?”

            “I could think of about thirty different things.” Diggle muttered.

            “So why are you going, then?” Oliver piped in.

            He narrowed his eyes at him. “Every once in a while a man needs a break, Queen.”

            “Maybe we’ll put a birthday candle in a shot for you.” Slade chuckled. “It’s been forever since we’ve hung out. Let’s have at it on the town tonight.”

            “Alright.” Oliver relented. Honestly, he didn’t have any plans anyway. It would be the first year without a roaring rave and his mother, father, and Thea didn’t give him any indication that they had anything planned. 25 wasn’t that big of a year anyway.

            “Thatta boy.” Slade hooted and clamped Oliver on the shoulder before running to the other trainers to tell them that the plans were on. Diggle stood in front of Oliver with something caught between a smirk and a frown on his face. The man was near impossible to read.

            “No plans?” Was all he said. He looked down to mop the sweaty floor and probably seem unfazed by whatever Oliver’s answer was going to be.

            “Nope.”

            “I’m guessing things with your _friend_ have fizzled out?”

            “I don’t know what’s wrong with her.” Oliver shrugged. “She hasn’t been answering me all week.”

            “Do you think something’s wrong?”

            “Not physically. She’s okay, but she’s avoiding me.”

            “What’d you do?”

            “Why do you think I’ve done something?”

            “Because, Oliver, we are men.” He set the mop aside. “And as men we have a few God-given gifts. One: killing spiders and other bugs. Two: eating a ridiculous amount of food. Three: colossally fucking up without even realizing it.”

            “Sounds like you know from experience.”

            “You could say that.”

            “What do you think I should do?”

            “Women need space.” Diggle nodded. “But they also want you to be present.”

            “I’m not even dating this girl. It shouldn’t be this complicated, right?”

            “No, but you’re consistently having sex with her, meaning like it or not, there’s an emotional connection there.”

            “She’s one of my best friends, of course there is.”

            Diggle truly wanted to crack Oliver’s skull against a wall for how idiotic he was being. He barely knew him and didn’t know this Felicity in the slightest, but could neither of them see that there was a significantly greater level of emotions between them than just friendship. They were essentially doing everything normal couples do outside of establishing the title and going on dates. Actually, they might have been going on dates and were just not calling them dates.

            “I would think you’d want to be there for your best friend.”

            Oliver nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll go see her tomorrow.”

 

* * *

 

            “Felicity, I need the monthly reports in ASAP. Why is that such a ridiculous request? I’ve called you AND beeped you thirty three- neigh, thirty four times and nothing. You’ve given me nothing! What could possibly be filling your mind with such useless goo?”

            Felicity blinked a few times at the red-faced Ted Kord. “I didn’t get those notifications. That’s not even my job. That’s your secretary’s job.”

            “Yeah, well, she’s not with us anymore.”

            “Oh my God, did she die?”

            “Did you really go to MIT? If you’d been paying an ounce of attention you’d know she filed a sexual assault report against me, one with a very steep fine that this company will never be able to rise above.”

            Wow, was she supposed to feel sorry for him right now? She could barely listen to his bullshit with the rising already present fury and anxiety that had been gnawing at her core.

            “Fix my phone. It’s obviously not working.” He all but threw the thing at her and she grabbed it tightly in her hand, partially surprised she didn’t mold the object to the shape of her grasp.

            “While you’re at it, I want you to finish the update on the company’s new software by today and I swear to God, Smoak, if there’s one error on that site I will destroy your resume and you will never touch another computer for work ever again.”

            “That’s impossible.” She furrowed her brow. “Curtis and I have to give my pitch to the board.”

            “If you’re not responsible enough to handle all the tasks that come with your job, then you’re not capable of being an executive on the board. In fact, you’re barely capable enough to work at a Best Buy let alone a major company. I read your goal chart, Miss Smoak. CEO, really? You want to be a CEO. You’re gunning for _my_ job. You, the Mary Sue, stuck-up tease from nothing-”

            “You want your phone fixed, _Mr. Kord_?” Felicity grinned and held it in front of his face before chucking on the back wall and watched as it shattered. “Talk to Apple.”

            Felicity moved around his desk and onto his computer, accessing the back mainframe. “Website that I’ve been working on for months? _Your_ website that’s supposed to change the world and how technology is shared? The website I slaved every waking minute that I wasn’t adhering to your bullshit requests and trying to avoid your attempts of sexual harassment on?”

            She turned the monitor towards him and swiftly pressed the delete button. “Have fun making a new one as optimal and user friendly as mine, because that was the reason I was hired, remember? Because I majored in computer sciences at MIT, graduating at the age of nine fucking teen and I didn’t sometimes pull three all nighters in a row and study my ass off to be berated and verbally abused by someone that doesn’t know a firewall from a firestorm.”

            “You’re… You’re fired.” He stammered, eyes widened in shock. Apparently, telling people off was becoming one of her skillsets.

            “Oh no, Mr. Kord, I already quit, because I am anything but nothing.” She hacked into his email and showed him the letter of resignation. “And by the way, you should really be nicer to people that are supposed to testify at your court hearings.”

            “What are you going to go crawl into the safety net of your ex-boyfriend’s shadow?” He barked.

            “No, I’m going to become the CEO of my own company. And we’re going to run yours into the mud.” She snapped her ponytail as she turned and slammed the door behind her. Curtis stood up as she stormed by, box of pointless stuff in her hands and realization of what she’d just done displaying across her face.

            “Felicity? You’re crying.” He rounded his desk and stopped her in her tracks. “What happened?”

            “I quit.” She said softly.

            “You what?” He shrieked. “We have a pitch to give in ten minutes!”

            “I can’t believe I just quit my job… Now… Oh my God. I quit my job and… Fuck!”

            “Let’s step outside for a moment.” Curtis looked around the room of now-staring techies and guided Felicity into the empty hallway near the water cooler.

            “Maybe you can get it back?”

            “I threw his phone against the wall and deleted his pet project. And I threatened to testify against him in court.”

            “Jesus, Felicity. Did you also burn down his house and poison his water supply?”

            “I couldn’t take it anymore. This week has been so… I’m being selfish. Holy God, I can’t be selfish right now. I’m… We’ve got a presentation to give. I can’t be unemployed. The only two major employers I’ve ever had were Ray’s family and Kord. I didn’t exactly settle nicely with either of them.”

            “Because they’re both dicks. It’s not your fault.”

            “I’m going to be the assistant manager of a RadioShack aren’t I? My supervisor is going to be some 17 year old kid and I’m going to be 25 in two months.”

            “You’re panicking and that is not the right thing to do given your current situation.”

            Her eyes widened. “What?”

            “When you’re unemployed, you need to make a gameplan. First, are we going through with this pitch?”

            “Curtis, I’m not an employee here anymore.”

            “Felicity, I am.” He emphasized. “You don’t need to be an employee to make a pitch to the board. Ours is pretty fucking amazing and you were the mastermind behind it. I think we need to go for it and see where things go from there.”

            “Okay.” She breathed and closed her eyes.

            “Baby steps.” He smiled and she winced.

            “That sounds horrifying.”

            “You’ve always been a big plan kind of girl, haven’t you? Unexpected moments don’t really tickle you do they?”

            “No. Definitely not.”

* * *

 

            “Felicity texted me.” Oliver nodded at Diggle. It was uncomfortable how they were the only two people sitting at the bar at Verdant. Slade and the other goons had yet to show and it was honestly a bit unnerving.

            “Are we going to be gossip buddies from now on?”

            “You asked earlier.”

            “I was curious.”

            “What’s different from me updating you and you asking?”

            “I didn’t ask for an update. I ask out of courtesy and because she seems like a nice girl. You can kind of be a douche.”

            “Nice.”

            “So, she texted you, huh?”

            “She quit her job. I guess that’s why she’s been acting so weird.”

            “Mystery solved.”

            “Yeah, I guess.”

            “What?”

            “I’m not going to lie, the whole friends-with-benefits thing is really working for me. I don’t need to think like a boyfriend, but I just think I was a boyfriend for so long that it’s impossible not to think like one. Plus, she is my friend and I feel like-”

            “Oh for fuck’s sakes just go to her, man.”

            “What?”

            “You and I both know you’d rather be with your little friend than waiting for Slade to come tear this place up with me.”

            “You know about that?”

            “Of course I do. I’m a cop.”

            Oliver’s eyes widened. “What?”

            “Do you really think the police had you completely unguarded and unprotected? You couldn’t know, but it’s not safe for you to be here right now. The other trainers are cops too and tonight we plan on getting Wilson.”

            “He’s a good guy, Dig.”

            “He’s a drugged-guy. We have an antidote, but we just need to get him while he’s on a high. It doesn’t really matter. Go ask your whatever what’s wrong and get to the root of it so I can stop hearing about your drama-packed soap opera of a life. She seems to be the only bright spot in it and when she’s down, you’re down. Go. Go now.”

            Oliver moved from his seat and nodded at Diggle in appreciation. His mind was still buzzing with the new knowledge of Diggle being an undercover cop that was pinning to get Slade and take down the Vertigo-wannabe drug. Meanwhile, he was about to console his now unemployed friend in the most platonic way he could.

            “Avoid touching.” He muttered to himself on repeat as he walked up to her door and knocked. There was a moment of silence and then approaching footsteps before a pajama-clad Felicity answered the door. Her eyes went wide and her face pale upon seeing him. Honestly, it looked like she’d just caught a glimpse of the grim reaper.

            “Hey!” He tried at his cheeriest voice possible. “I know I probably should have called, but something tells me you wouldn’t have answered if I did.”

            “I’ve just… I’ve had a lot going on.” She leaned against the door. “Do you want to come in?”

            “Sure.” He agreed and followed her across the threshold of her apartment, a place he’d been countless times.

            “You quit, huh?”

            “Yeah.” She nodded and there was actually a trace of a smile across her face. “And the board loved Curtis and I’s idea of the enhanced rechargeable and environmental-friendly battery that works like a generator.

            “You sound happy.” Oliver said quietly. “Which I’m glad, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve felt like you were avoiding me all week.”

            “Um, I was.” She admitted, avoiding eye contact. “And I was planning to keep avoiding you until… Well, until I got a minute to myself…”

            “Is there another guy?” He tried his best to feel out the situation and by the way her eyes snapped to his in confusion, he could tell that wasn’t it.

            “What?”

            “I wouldn’t be mad if there was, obviously. You spend a lot of time with that Curtis guy…”

            “Who happens to be gay, by the way.”

            “Oh.” He responded stupidly. “That was dumb of me to assume…”

            She shrugged. “I told Sara he was my fuck-buddy, actually.”

            “Is that what you’re upset about? Sara?”

            She shook her head. “I mean… Yeah, but it’s not… You know you don’t have to come rushing over here every time you sense something’s wrong with me, right?”

            “I just want to make sure you’re okay. I do care about you.”

            Her face softened for a moment, but it wasn’t long before it twisted into conflict and fear again. Why was she so afraid? He knew he told himself to keep his physical distance from her, but it seemed much more like she was doing the same thing from him. It was like he was toxic.

            “We’ve broken a lot of rules.”

            “What?”

            “It’s just… We said we wouldn’t and that’s not a way to live… We need boundaries and we suck at keeping them.”

            He thought back. “We didn’t break the more important ones. We didn’t break numbers one, two, five and seven.”

            “You have them memorized?”

            “You’re not the only one keeping a tally.” He pointed out. “I’d say we’re doing fine. Accidents happen.”

            “You’re wrong though.” She sniffled. “Seven was broken.”

            “Felicity, what’s going on?”

            She breathed heavily, afraid to say it out loud. “I’m late.”


	24. Pharmacy Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It turns out CVS is quite the hotspot in the middle of the night.

            _“I’m late.”_ The words rattled his inner ear on a constant loop. He was certain Felicity was saying more now, but from the look on her face, it wasn’t anything that would assure him that what she said didn’t hold the very implications he feared. Here, he thought he may have been _losing_ someone when he’d actually possibly _gained_ a whole different someone.

            He blinked a few times and tried to shake himself from the mental lapse he’d fallen heavily into. Felicity looked scared in spite of how hard she was trying to hide it. It was obvious she wasn’t planning on telling him anything about this until she had a more definite answer for him than maybe’s and troubled possibilities. He just had to press her and worry didn’t he?

            He felt like his tongue swelled as it sat in his oral cavity. Fatherhood. It wasn’t something he’d _never_ considered for his life. However, at the time when he did imagine it, he’d been in a long-term relationship, had a decent-sized place, an excellent job, and was planning on proposing. Now, his life was colored in different and constantly changing shades. He currently worked as a glorified towel boy at the gym, lived in a shoebox, and was having casual sex with his best friend. The two hardly screamed stable, reliable parents.

            “Hhhow?” His dumb mouth finally uttered.

            By the exasperated look she gave him, it was clear she’d been over this. However, her voice didn’t indicate complete annoyance at him. She was more distressed over being in this situation with him or even being here at all. He had a feeling that Felicity Smoak, graduate of MIT, never pictured herself in this situation.

            “All we do is have sex! It’s like we’re running through a field of grenades hoping we don’t get blown up.”

            “But we… Rule #7 wasn’t broken. Ever.”

            “The closet, Oliver! We don’t know if that condom broke or not. We didn’t check!”

            “Are you sure its mine?”

            She smacked his arm. “Are you kidding me? A. You’re the only person I’ve had sex with in the past eight months. B. There isn’t a kid to be yours yet… Well, there might be, but nothing is certain.”

            He raised his hands apologetically. “I’m sorry. I’m just… trying to process all of this. You do realize this changes everything, right?”

            “No!” She said sarcastically. “It’s not like I might have to incubate and harvest a living thing and then proceed to shove the little meatloaf out of a pencil sharpener-sized hole after months of cramping, bloating, weight-gain, and mood swings. I had no idea!”

            Felicity needed him to get his head down from space. He’d been sitting on her couch, exerting heavy breaths and a bit of drool, for about twenty minutes now. She understood the news was dramatic and the possible consequences meant a great deal more than what they’d bargained for, but she was terrified and if she ever needed him, now was the time. She was so scared she could feel herself trembling like the rumbles of an earthquake.

            He must have become attune to her shakiness too, because though swimming with worry and uncertainty, his eyes straightened and focused on her. He took her hands in his.

            “We need to find out.”

            She looked down. “I know.”

            “Let’s go.”

            “You don’t have to-”

            “-Yes I do. I want to. You’re not doing any of this alone whether this be the only step or the first of many. Okay?”

            She let out a shaky breath. “Okay.”

* * *

 

            It only seemed right for it to rain that night. The entire city was soaked like a sponge through and through, appearing grayer than on any normal occasion. The only spouts of color were found in bright headlights and umbrellas that bounced through the sheet of mist.

            Felicity could see her own reflection in the window and she’d say she gave the miserable day a run for its money. Her hair was messy; clothes were baggy, eyes full of dread and skin as lifeless as the grim reaper, himself. Her small hands gripped the side of the door with such strength that her knuckles looked like mini snowballs. Her body language made it appear as if she was planning on tumbling out of the moving car. That option didn’t sound completely terrible right now.

            She’d never imagined herself with a baby or the mini-version of herself. She and Ray were both extremely busy with work and each other that a child never quite fit into the equation. He would reference the idea as more of a joke than an actual possibility. She absentmindedly decided years ago that motherhood was not her ballpark. She didn’t want to stay at home and raise a child when she could be out in the world making a difference. Babies never gave her that special warm feeling that lit a fire of desire in her heart. They were cute enough, but so were puppies.

            Neither she nor Oliver was in any emotional place to be even considering kids with other people let alone each other. They were friends, yes, but what kind of co-parenthood would that be to a child? All the other kids would either have unified parents or separated parents. At least that was a socially respectable way to have children. It was failed love, but it was love at some point. She and Oliver literally fucked too hard standing up and the condom more than likely broke. What kind of story was that? One of the worst parts was how blatantly this situation highlighted the changing tides between them. Things had gotten confusing, rules were being bent and even broken. Adding a baby to that mix would be lethal.

            The sex-games would need to stop for the sake of preservation of that baby, but there was a flame between them now whether she liked it or not. It would be volatile at all times and they’d have to shove it away until the flames dimmed into nothing but a small pile of ash. That thought made her chest ache and she scowled, because it shouldn’t have. She shouldn’t be more afraid of losing Oliver than potential motherhood.

            However, reality was reality.

            He drove with his eyes trained on the road and she appreciated this moment as a chance to look at him without his noticing her staring. He was too lost in his own train of thoughts and the road to bother much with her relentless gaze. His mouth wasn’t formed in a frown, but it wasn’t a smile by any stretch. One hand gripped the steering wheel with a bit too much force as his other dangled in the middle near hers. His arms looked big in this position. They always did, but driving gave him an appearance of extra strength that drove a streak of affection through her.

            It wasn’t a sexually interested acknowledgement either even though she’d been thankful for his capable arms many times in that way. No, she took comfort that he was such a physical embodiment of fortitude. It didn’t make much sense, but picturing strong arms holding a little baby made it seem less likely that the kid would fall and hit the ground. That was one thing they didn’t have to worry about. He’d be a good father whether he believed he would or not. The idea of family was strange for the both of them. She didn’t have the best example of one growing up. She loved her mother and respected her sacrifices, but never wanted to go through the same hardships she did. She wanted to prove that she’d learned from that. If she ever wanted a family, she wanted it to be under circumstances she arranged for herself, not an accident. She didn’t want to utterly fail because of a mistake. She wanted it to be something she gave herself to and willingly so, not with the possibility of resentment.

            Deep down, she knew she yearned for love, for emotional growth with another human being. Fairytale endings were obviously bullshit, but the real, gritty kind that made you work and feel accomplished and stronger than you were before, she wanted. Then and only then did she want a family. She wanted to give a kid the kind she never had growing up, to be the best she could be, and could she really do that with Oliver Queen?

            A strong hand gently linked their fingers and kept their joined hands in the middle. The gentle caress his thumb rubbed into her hand emulated his nervous tick. He always twitched his fingers as if he was struggling to stroke something. Despite the storm that raged on externally and internally, she never felt more connected to him. She returned the gesture by raising her other hand to stroke the top of his, trailing up his wrist and under his sweatshirt. It was intimate and silent. She felt herself unleashing a puff of air that felt trapped in her chest. They had to be fine.

            He glanced over at Felicity, whose eyes were focused on their linked hands. He wanted to profusely apologize for how immature he’d been back at her place, but it seemed she’d forgiven him and moved onto greater issues… Like impending parenthood that hung over them like a black cloud.

            He knew she’d be good at it. She didn’t want it, which was perfectly understandable for someone with as big as dreams as her. She didn’t feel ready and in that, he could completely relate. He felt like a drenched dog in the middle of a blizzard, stuck and shivering to the bone. They’d come out of it okay somehow, but the steps were the hardest part.

            Oliver needed her to know that despite his lack of desire for responsibility, he’d be there for her. He’d be there for their happy little accident. He knew she’d never consider an abortion despite her being pro-choice. Felicity Smoak was a woman that gave all her heart and the second they knew for sure if there was a baby, that would determine where her heart would go. It was honorable and sad, because he wanted her to be able to have everything she wanted since she was little. Motherhood wasn’t part of that equation right now. If anything, it might have been an afterthought. The kind of choice you make when you’re settled. She was not settled.

            He was even less settled and was briefly considering pulling over to get out of the car and scream in the rain, but he couldn’t help the wave of calm that briefly washed over him as he looked at her. They’d pulled up to a red light and she sat beside him, panic-stricken and completely disheveled. She’d never looked prettier to him, somehow, and he didn’t know what it was.

            Perhaps it was how vulnerable she had to be right now. She was reaching the breaking point, slowly climbing that hill and as much as he wanted to throw the brakes on life and take away all that hurt, it still occurred to him that she was exposing different sides of emotional depth. It just wasn’t happy.

            “What is it?” She caught his eye just as he was trying to turn back to the road.

            “Nothing. This is just… Really heavy, isn’t it?” He pulled into a parking spot outside CVS and they just sat there for a moment.

            She couldn’t have said it better herself. “Life-changing.”

            “It could be worse. We could hate each other.”

            “Or not know each other at all. I’m not sure what would be worse.”

            “We could be terrible people.”

            “Or ugly.”

            He chuckled at that and even though it was riddled with nervousness, it broke the icy tension of the silent car-ride. She, too, cracked a small smile. He felt her small hand squeeze his and he’d forgotten they were even holding hands up until that moment. He didn’t let go until she nodded and slid out of the car. When they were both out, she slipped her hand in his as they walked into the store.

 

* * *

 

 

            “What brand do you think is the best? This one comes with three!” They perused each and every box, growing more aware of the workers that seemed to know exactly why the rumpled couple searched the pregnancy/baby section.

            “Why do you need three?”

            “You need to take all three to prove whether or not there’s a false positive or negative. It’s less likely with multiple tests.”

            “Do you have to pee?”

            “Is it weird that I feel like all of it evaporated due to nervousness? I thought anxiety induces urine.”

            “Should we… Should we get you a thing of soda or something to get things going?”

            She shrugged, because she really didn’t want to be sitting on the toilet for three hours, waiting on her body to wake the fuck up.

            “Okay, well I’m going to go get that. I think you’re better fit to pick this out anyway.” Before walking away from her, he placed a kiss on her forehead and gently slid his hand from hers. She closed her eyes at the contact, thankful he was doing what he could to show physical support.

She reluctantly released him before staring at the various similar boxes in front of her. They were all pinks and light blues, which only made her more frantic for possible upcoming life changes. She was trying to force herself into looking at the present moment, but that was hard when a bunch of cartoon babies stared back at you. Why didn’t they advertise negative results as positively?

_Because pregnancy is supposed to be something you try for._

            Her decision process eventually came down to grabbing a random pack of three and walking away without looking at another damn section of the store. Her peripherals caught the sight of diapers, bibs, and a plethora of baby food, but she pretended it didn’t register. She felt sick to her stomach.

            _Please don’t be morning sickness._

She decided to go looking for Oliver, wondering what possible complications could take place at the drink section of the store, when she bumped into another woman, who dropped a box of crackers on the floor.

            Without thinking, Felicity bent over to grab them, apologizing profusely for being such a klutz. Honestly, she couldn’t keep track what was tumbling out of her mouth in such a distracted state of mind.

“Felicity?” The voice from above questioned, obviously knowing who she was.

            She bit into her lower lip and squeezed her eyes shut. How was this happening? Why didn’t this ever happen when she was buying milk or regular items on a regular basis? No, this had to happen _today_.

            She begrudgingly looked up, attempting to shield her future purchase, but lost all remaining composure when that female voice turned out to belong to the infamous Laurel Lance. Her smile was radiating, as was the rest of her beauty, a trait she’d never shed from high school.

            The pregnancy test in her hands just fell in front of her knees and it was all very embarrassing on numerous levels.

            The world was just this small.

Laurel’s eyes flickered from Felicity to the light blue box and couldn’t suppress her surprised reaction.

            “I was going to ask you how you are, but all things considering I’m going to guess either really good or really bad, depending on what results you’re hoping for.”

            Felicity was fairly certain she could have been hit by a car and not noticed she was in such awe at how awful this moment was. Their two worlds were colliding again. Laurel wore a shining engagement ring, held an overabundance of healthy snacks in her shopping basket, and looked like she was about to hop on the runway with the current outfit she wore. Felicity still had a tan-line from where her ring used to be, a pregnancy test at hand, and looked like she was cosplaying Pig-Pen from _The Peanuts_ (not quite as dirty looking but still). It was almost comical.

            She rose to her feet to say something, anything, that would preserve her integrity, but for the first time in her life, she couldn’t bring herself to speak. Suddenly, she missed her foolish babbling.

            “Hey, I know you hate cranberry juice, but the lady who works here says it makes you pee a lot fast-” Oliver walked over, reading the back of the bottle, but stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Laurel.

            “Laurel?”

            “Ollie! You’re… You’re here too.”

            He squirmed where he stood uncomfortably next to Felicity and she didn’t mean to lean on him in the way she did, but her entire body felt like unfinished jello. His arm slipped around her shoulders in response and she was grateful for the assurance that she hadn’t lost total feeling in her body.

            It wasn’t enough to have to buy a pregnancy test. It wasn’t enough to run into someone Felicity knew while buying a pregnancy test. It wasn’t even enough that that person was Laurel Lance, ex-love of Oliver Queen. No, she had to buy a pregnancy test, run into Laurel, and have Oliver by her side as she did so, painting the picture-perfect horror moment.

            And he was talking about making her pee faster so there wasn’t even any denying that the test was for her.

            “You look nice.” Felicity tried, but she sounded like she was holding back vomit with every word she spoke.

            Laurel put the pieces together pretty quickly and her breath caught in her throat as she looked between Oliver, Felicity, and the pregnancy test repeatedly.

            “You’re together.”

            “Yes.” Oliver immediately responded much to Felicity’s surprise. Apparently in the presence of Laurel Lance they were a couple. Okay, that was new and never discussed, but she guessed it had to do with the fact that he didn’t want to explain his attempt to get over Laurel to Laurel.

            “I never saw this coming.”

            “I didn’t either.” She muttered.

            “We’ve been broken up for 5 months and you’ve already gotten someone else pregnant?”

            “Because you waited so much longer.” Felicity retorted, because she couldn’t help herself. She didn’t know where this girl got off thinking it was completely okay to run off with Oliver’s best friend behind his back, destroy any trust Oliver Queen has in women, and then turn around and call foul on his completely non-adulterous sexual actions.

            Her words were the equivalent to his punching Ray Palmer in the face. He stared at Felicity in amazement and didn’t have the desire to even look at Laurel, despite what his heart had ached for previously.

            “Nice ring.” Oliver nodded at the ring on her finger and Laurel removed her glare from Felicity and looked at him knowingly.

            “Oh yeah.” She wiggled her ring finger. “I’m really sorry about everything that happened that night. It was pretty classless of us to do that in front of you. Then again, you both have some exciting news of your own.”

            Oliver’s eyes faltered and Felicity’s heart hurt for him. To have your ex, be completely and inexplicably happy without you was a low blow. At least Ray was fairly miserable and just fucking around to convey false-happiness and success. Oh, and he was potentially leading a drug cartel.

            “Congratulations, we should really be going.” She reached to grip Oliver’s hand and tug him away. “We’ve got a test to take.”

            “I hope you get the results you want. I know I did when we took ours, Oliver.” She winked and it burned a fire in her. It was a reminder that she’d done everything with Oliver before Felicity and though she hated admitting to jealousy, the comment did make her want to make out with Oliver right in front of her in the middle of CVS.

            “And if you don’t, we’re all happy. Tommy and I are engaged, Ollie gets a kid, and you get the boy you’ve pined over since you were 15.” On that note, she turned and walked from them with a stride of pride in her wake.

            She tensed against him and he turned her towards him before placing his hands on her shoulders.

            “Felicity?”

            “You guys had a pregnancy scare?”

            “Last year.”

            “And you wanted the results to be positive.”

            “She didn’t.”

            “You never told me that.”

            “I guess it’s because I was a little sad it didn’t happen with her.”

            “Oh.”

            Sadness filled her eyes and for some reason he could read exactly what they felt. Laurel’s words dug into her. She was afraid of Oliver resenting her for not being her, of representing accidents and mishaps as opposed to the miracles he’d apparently always wanted.

            “I’d rather it be with you now though.”

            She gently stepped into him and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her head into his chest. She breathed in the familiar scent of his gray sweatshirt, nuzzling herself into it as if she were nesting. He rested his chin on the top of her head and ignored the fact that they were standing in the middle of the crackers section of CVS. He noticed Laurel leaving the front door and for the first time in months, he had no desire to go after her. He knew where he needed to be and he wanted to be there.


	25. A Three Minute Infinity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time goes by a lot slower when you’re wondering if your entire future will be completely altered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The results are in...

“Can I just say I can’t believe we’re here right now?” Felicity breathed heavily. Her face was soaked from the shift in the tide. She felt like she could see her entire life flashing before her eyes and the future that awaited her. There was so much uncertainty, despite being fully aware of the immediate question.

            “Me neither.” Oliver breathed. “Would you have changed a thing?”

            “No.” She said softly and looked up into his bright eyes. He showed signs of approaching tears that never fully met the surface and they swirled like ghosts in his eyes. The vulnerability that escaped him left her enamored.

            Oliver knew there was a lot to recognize in the hectic and humbling past couple of hours. It put life into perspective, shaken him into getting his priorities in order. Most importantly, he felt this illuminating sense of solidity between he and the woman next to him. It was the kind of feeling that hadn’t always been there before, but he felt it should have been. The way she looked at him with such trust and hope in spite of everything that should have contradicted that hope.

            The best way he could describe sitting beside her in his own bathtub, her head on his shoulder and their miscellaneous discussion about everything and nothing, was the sensation of coming home. It wasn’t overbearing or boisterous and flashy, but subtle and both believable and unbelievable. He didn’t know how he could make such a comparison, given the chill his childhood house reigned throughout the year, but somehow the smell of her shampoo and the honesty of her voice made him feel home just the same. It felt safe, but raw and nothing like the kind you read in story books. It made him feel like everything would be okay as long as he had her.

            It also made him feel very sad. The future was ahead of them, but that distant yelling in his ear had suddenly become deafening. He was terrified what this meant for them. He wouldn't have her, couldn't have her. 

            “This is a wake up call, isn’t it?” She asked.

            He waited a moment before answering. “A very loud one.”

            “This changes everything.”

            “I think it has to.” He leaned in and kissed her hair.

            “Happy birthday, Oliver.” She mumbled when she clearly noticed it was well past 2 am.

 

* * *

 

 

            **One Hour Earlier…**

“Expect the worst, hope for the best.” Oliver said calmly as Felicity laid the freshly peed upon sticks on the bathroom counter. She set the timer on her phone and walked into his living room and joined him on the couch. She’d never been to his place before, but it was significantly closer to CVS than hers and neither wanted to do anymore waiting than necessary.

            Three minutes.

            They had to sit in the dark for three minutes before light would be shed on the situation. Even still, the silence of the room couldn’t absorb the blaring thoughts that pounded through both of their minds. Oliver had to get up and pace the floor at one point, never a man that was capable of being still for too long. Felicity thought she’d pass out if she moved about too much. The idea of carrying a kid around made her stomach lurch.

            “I can’t believe I quit my job when I knew I might be… you know.” Felicity shook her head. “That was stupid.”

            “You could get a job anywhere.” Oliver shrugged. “You graduated from MIT at 19 with a masters degree in computer sciences.”

            “Yeah, on paper that sounds great, but I could never fulfill the hours necessary with a little sack of flour always needing to be tended to.”

            “Why does having a baby mean giving everything else up?”

            “Believe me, I’ve seen it firsthand. I was raised by a single-parent, you know. My mom wanted to be a singer before me. She had dreams and ambitions and the second she met my dad and I came into the picture, she traded all of that away.”

            “Your mom loves you.”

            “Yeah, she does, but she had to make so many sacrifices to give me a better life. What does it say about me that I’m almost in the same position? All of her sacrifices would be for nothing.”

            “She’d have a grandchild. That’s not nothing. Besides, how is this situation anything like the one with your parents?”

            She looked at him incredulously. “Unexpected pregnancy out of wedlock, jobless, emotional immaturity, broken home-”

            “-First of all, it wouldn’t be a “broken” home. Second of all, you’re also not doing this alone. That changes the entire spectrum.”

            “Oliver, she didn’t start out doing it alone either. I was seven when my dad left. I remember him. I remember how bad he hurt her, how bad he hurt me, and how little of a damn he gave in the end.”

            “I do give a damn! I give a damn that this kid has a normal and good life.”

            “What? Are we going to pretend that you and me getting married is even remotely a decent idea? We’ve been making nothing but terrible decisions together this entire time.”

            “I’m not saying we get married, Felicity. I’m saying we need to stick together. Just because we won’t be together doesn’t mean it’ll be broken. He won’t know any different.”

            “We’ll be those weird parents that no one quite understands because there’s awkward sexual tension, but nothing to be done about it because there’s a little kid in the picture and she has feelings and would want nothing more than her mommy and daddy to be together. She’ll watch her dad become distant and her mom become sad, because neither knew what they were bargained for and yet there’s this little walk of hopes and dreams who needs an example of good love, that she deserves good love.”

            “Felicity-”

            She rose to her feet. “-I don’t want her to grow up and going off and getting her heart broken, because her parents never showed her what a healthy relationship is. I never wanted kids. I don’t even think I want kids now either, but if I did I’d want it to be with someone that didn’t want her to be someone else’s. I don’t want her to think she’s a mistake, that she’s less valid-”

            “Hey-”

            “-What kind of friend would I be if I shackled you down with me anyway? I don’t want to grow to hate you or have you grow to hate me. I’d rather this end on my own terms than-”

            “I’m not him!” Oliver raised his voice and Felicity’s rant fell short.

            He breathed heavily as she stared weakly up at him. “I’m not your dad, Felicity.”

            “I know you’re not.” But it was clear she just meant in the obvious sense, not that she was really soaking in what he said.

            “No you don’t, because you think I’m going to leave you!”

            “I feel like I’m going to make you, because I seem to have that effect on people.”

            “First: What kind of man would I be if I left my friend and my kid high and dry? I know both of our track records with relationships hasn’t been great, including our parents, but I need to believe that if we end up having a kid, we’ll work as a unit. We’ll do whatever’s best for him and give him the best damn life ever.”

            “I don’t want you to feel like you’re stuck with me.” She said sadly.

            “Which brings me to my next point: there’s no one I’d rather be stuck with.” He took her hands. “And if your dad didn’t realize that, then he’s a very stupid man. If we do fall for other people, it’ll be fine. He won’t know any different and in that we’ll show him friendship and love. It won’t be traditional, Felicity, but it’ll be real.”

            She stared at him long and hard, tears gently stroking her cheeks. “I’m so scared.”

            “Me too.” His breath fluttered. “I’ve never been so scared in all my life.”

            “This isn’t the end though right?”

            He wasn’t sure which context she was asking, but he decided that the end didn’t sound like a positive thing so he decided to dismiss whichever worry crossed her brain at the given moment.

            “No.” He shook his head. “Just a different beginning.”

            “I’m gonna gain a lot of weight.” She whined and he only laughed at that.

            “You’ll look great. You’ll be one of those hot pregnant women.”

            “Do me a favor and _please_ point them out to me, because I’m clearly not seeing the same pregnant women as you.”

            There was another string of brief silence, but it felt like an eternity. Felicity had half a mind to double-check if she ever set the timer. Logistically, she knew she did, but there was no way time was going so slow, right?

            “What if I’m a bad father?” Oliver said quietly.

            “What?” Because that sounded like the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard all day.

            “You heard me.”

            “Oliver…”

            “Even you thought I would leave. I won’t, but if you think that-”

            “-It’s not you… It’s everyone. I just kind of think everyone leaves. You? Oliver, you’d be a great dad. You’ve got a huge heart and a lot of love to give.”

            “I can’t be that guy that dicks around for the rest of his life, screwing up his kids and everyone around him.”

            “You won’t.”

            “How can you be so sure? A few seconds ago you had a similar tune.”

            “Because I believe in you. I need to. I need to believe in you.”

            “But-”

            “-You’re not him.”

            “I know.” She did realize he’d just said that to her a minute ago, right?

            “No, I mean you’re not _your_ father.”

            His gaze returned to hers and he wondered how she knew exactly what he needed to hear.

            In the distance, a distinct and anticipated “ding” rang through the apartment. Felicity and Oliver threw each other’s hands down and practically raced into the bathroom, both squeezing into the doorway and towards the sink. It was Felicity who beat him, and she hoped super speed wasn’t a symptom of pregnancy. She looked down at the tests and then back at an overwhelmed Oliver.

            There was so much emotion in his eyes. On one hand, he was scared to death, but on the other hand, there was awareness and a readiness to change his life forever. It had changed so much as is in the past few months, she guessed he’d gotten used to riding that change out.

            She couldn’t hide the jubilation on her face when she flipped over the tests to reveal little negative signs on the stick. In a combined swift movement, Felicity both dove into his arms as he readily picked her up and spun her around the small room. His laugh reverberated against her body and her own tears of joy sprinkled onto his sweatshirt. She pulled her head back from against his shoulder and pressed her face against his. He, too, was smiling unabashedly and it was a glorious thing, to know that the rest of their lives hadn’t just been decided.

            When he finally put her down, they’d both recovered from their instant reactions and just looked at each other.

            “I might get this framed.” She held one of the white sticks up to the light. “God, has a symbol ever looked so beautiful before?”

            “I really don’t think so.” He beamed and after a few seconds, their hearts were no longer pounding and the weight of the world was pushed aside. Instead, particles of curiosity and unspoken questions trickled into their minds.

            That’s the thing with potential life-altering situations. You think you want all your eggs in one basket, one decision, one path of life, but when you get what you want, you start to see the grass could have been greener. You start to wonder what it would have been like if it went the other way. Even if you think it’s for the best, it sometimes makes you question your own, established long-term beliefs.

 

* * *

 

 

           And that’s what brought them to sitting in Oliver’s bathtub, fully dressed, feet dangling over the edge, Felicity’s head on Oliver’s shoulder, and the most honest conversation they’d had in a long time.

            “You kept saying “him”. I’m presuming you wanted a boy?” She wanted to add _“with Laurel”_ , but honestly, bringing Laurel Lance up would be the best way to make a good turn of events go bad. It would shut him up and her window of seeing through him would be gone. Also, she couldn’t say her name without bitterness and she didn’t want to visit that side of herself right now.

            “Doesn’t every guy?” Oliver smiled. “You kept saying “she”, too. You wanted a little mini tech princess didn’t you?”

            “I am the Queen so it’s only fitting.”

            He chuckled. “I’ve always wanted a son so I could right my father’s wrongs and be the best dad in the entire world. I wanted to be everything he wasn’t and none of what he was. I wanted to… I wanted to show him what love was and how it could stick and I don’t even mean romance. I mean father-son love. Unconditional love.”

            “It’s funny, as much as I kept saying “she” or “her”, when we were driving to CVS and I was internally going into overdrive, the only calming thought I had, the only positive, was the image of you holding a baby boy.”

            “Really?”

            “Yeah.” And for a moment, her eyes were wistful, gazing into the distance where the memory would only exist as an alternate reality. “There’s nothing like a strong guy holding a little baby. It makes my knees weak thinking about it.”

            “I thought you hated kids.”

            “I don’t hate kids. I love kids!”

            Off his confused stare, she elaborated. “I just never saw myself having any. I have big plans for myself and a child was nowhere in my future. I didn’t feel like my life would only having meaning if I had one, you know?”

            “And it would.” Oliver nodded. “You’re a lot more than an incubator.”

            “I’m glad you were almost the father of my almost child.” She shook her head, but a wry grin remained and then softened. “I think I’ve changed my mind a little.”

            “Yeah?”

            “Sure, I was panicking and self-doubting, but I’m a product of a shitty dad and a mom that I had to watch have her heart broken time after time. That was bound to happen.”

            “I’d say you turned out pretty great.”

            “And you did too! We aren’t going to make the same mistakes as our parents. We can’t. I thought the only way for me to do that was to never have kids. Instead, if I meet the right person and I feel like I have my life in more in order than unemployed, bottom of the totem, self-doubting nerd, I’ll take the leap.”

            “I hope you get the chance to, you know, when it’s the real deal. I want nothing more than for you to be happy, because if anyone deserves their fair shot, it’s you.”

            “I hope you do too… However, the genes pool is probably crying somewhere, because our kid would have been ridiculously attractive.”

            “Oh yeah.” He agreed. “And successful.”

            “I can see it now: Smoak-Queen Inc. We’d be the leaders of the tech empire.”

            “You’d hyphenate his name?” Oliver asked in surprise.

            “Of course.” She gazed up at him. “He’d be just as much you as he would me.”

            He stared down at her and had the greatest urge to kiss her, damn the consequences, but they’d just came awful close to said consequences not even an hour ago.

            “It’s a good thing it didn’t happen now though, right… Because you’re all of those things and I’m all of those things plus a whole other set of things.”

            “You’re not a nerd.” She poked. “And yeah… It would have been weird. Us as parents? How would that even work?”

            “We’d have to move close.”

            “Get better jobs.”

            “Buy baby stuff.”

            “Name him.”

            “He’d look just like you.” She gushed. “Dimples and all.”

            “You have dimples too.” He poked said dimples. “And I was hoping he’d be like you.”

            “That’s a lot of babbling for one household.”

            “I’d want him to have your kindness, humility, determination, especially your sense of humor, because you are the only person in the entire world who can make me smile no matter what the situation. You’re always showing me there’s a light, that I can be good.”

            “You are good.”

            “Yeah, but you make me better.” He hadn’t even realized he said it or the weight of what he said until that pesky gravitational pull was evident between them. The tides had so willingly and easily changed beneath the surface of their pathetically veiled “just friends” scheme. You can’t fool fate and he was coming to learn that very quickly.

            Her hand rested over his heart and stroked it gently, as if she was afraid to break him, but that she thought about how good he was. It warmed him to the brim knowing she had such faith in him.

            “That goes both ways, you know.” She murmured. Her hands drift to the one that punched Ray in the face. For some reason, despite all the wonderful things he’d done to her with those hands, the memory of bandaging him up was the most evident. It truly was the most noble (and still stupid) act anyone has ever done for her. His wounds were long-healed now, but she still ran her hand over his fingers, admiring them.

            “Thank you for being my guy, Oliver.” He wasn’t her boyfriend and definitely not just her friend. He was this in-between that had no definition, but at the same time so much more meaning. She felt like he was more than any label she could give him. In fact, so much so that a pang of realization hit her in the stomach. It was realization that had been there all along but had just crept to the surface.

           "Thank you for being my girl, Felicity."

            _Fuck_.

            “Can I just say I can’t believe we’re here right now?”

            “Me neither. Would you have changed a thing?”

            “No.” She was certain of this, too.

            “This is a wake up call, isn’t it?” She asked after a long moment of silence. How do they go on from this? The pregnancy scare was one thing, but the fact that she was… Well, she was getting used to the idea (after the fact, of course) of being pregnant. Not just being pregnant, but being pregnant with her fuck-buddy’s baby. She was picturing him building cribs and going to baseball games and reading bedtime stories. She was imagining far too much for someone quite uncertain about love and reproduction. It was all dawning on her like a montage and suddenly they were in high school and he was the cute boy and she was the insecure girl that he smiled at in the hallway once. She wanted to bang her head against the wall for being here again. She hated herself.

            He waited a moment before answering. “A very loud one.”

            “This changes everything.” It really did.

            “I think it has to.” He leaned in and kissed her hair. Was he on the same page as her? What did this mean? Was she going to say something? Should she say something? No, their friendship had to be put first. That was the deal and she couldn’t fully throw every prospect she had to the wind. This was a very emotional day and time. She was going through a lot. Maybe she’d wake up tomorrow and feel differently. Yeah, that was it. She would wake up and everything would be the same. Oliver would just be Oliver and they’d be good friends with the frequent hookup session.

            However, what would it say about her if she continued playing with fire like she had been? How could she call herself a smart person by falling into the same trap only with a much less-fortunate solution? The realistic side of her was screaming and begging to come out. Her heart was freaking out, because the image of Oliver Queen being a constant in her life was seared and she just didn’t know what she’d do without it.

            “Happy birthday, Oliver.” She mumbled softly. 

           Oliver nodded against the top of her head, hearing the questioning and growing sadness in her voice. Reality was calling and neither wanted to answer. He was feeling awfully reminiscent of his senior year of high school. He was looking back on his whole life and the choices he made. He wouldn't change a thing, because he was sitting with her right now and they'd gotten here somehow, despite the inevitable termination. Her friendship meant more to him, she meant more to him, than someone who he could just turn away from, someone he could sacrifice. 

           This wasn't the first time he felt this way about her. Of course now it was stronger than a wrecking ball now, but he distinctly remembered avoiding spending alone time with her when they were younger, because he was with Laurel and he'd told her at the time that it was because he thought Felicity was an odd girl and that they had nothing in common. Laurel thought he was just being a dick, which she accepted at the time, because Oliver really could be one at times. However, a truth he never allowed to leave his lips with anyone excluding Tommy Merlyn on senior week, was the fact that Oliver had a thing for the babbling, quirky blonde (then-brunette). 

           He'd find himself staring at her lips while she spoke, wondering what variation of an animal would she wear that day and on what cutesy type of clothing, trying to decipher what the hell she was talking about half the time, and hating Ray for going out with her in the first place. He had no reason to and it was selfish, a selfishness he never allowed himself to indulge in. In fact, he'd repressed it so much and so well that no one ever suspected. Felicity was sure her "obvious" crush on him had been a one way street. He'd convinced himself that after high school, that he was just curious about her. He just liked her as a friend. He only thought she was hot.

           Bullshit. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, they're not knocked up, but I'd say that some feelings have certainly been impregnated, huh?


	26. Suspended in Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laurel obviously cheated on Oliver, but Oliver wasn’t always completely faithful to her either… At least emotionally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been wanting to write a flashback for a while now. I just couldn't decide where on when to implement it, but this seemed as good a time as any.

**Prom night, 7 years ago**

 

            “We’re still heading back to the high school to grab a couple drinks, right?” Laurel asked as Oliver opened the door to the limo for her.

            She essentially illuminated in the silver moonlight. Her eyes sparkled as she went on to talk about how wonderful prom had been. He couldn’t disagree, because every moment spent with her and his friends was never a disappointment. Everyone looked and felt amazing. Maybe it was the fact that this high time in their lives was coming to an end in the short upcoming months. He didn’t know what he was going to do without them constantly by his side. He didn’t know what he’d do without Laurel.

            Even so, he was looking forward to post-prom festivities way more.

            “I mean, I’m all for going right to the hotel…” Oliver smirked and leaned in to meet his illustrious girlfriend’s lips. He was cut short by her finger on his lips and pouted against the interrupted contact.

            She giggled. “Easy there, chief. We still need to take Sara home and I’d like to at least socialize a little bit before hopping into bed.”

            He sighed. “I suppose I can do to show you off a little bit more.”

            Honestly, they could just lay in bed, fully dressed and completely sober and he would be entirely okay with that. It wasn’t the promise of sex that enticed him (well, not completely), but the prospect of being alone with her.

            This time, Laurel didn’t interrupt his intentions and kissed him full on the mouth. There was a promise mixed with desire in the lip-lock. He slowly pulled away, eyes closed and trying helplessly not to grin like an idiot.

            In Oliver’s short 18 years of life, he never felt more complete than he did when he was around Laurel Lance. She always had a way of putting him in his place, grounding him, that he was able to let all the harsh moments of life float away. The way she looked back at him, trying desperately hard to repress the fact that she loved him equally, told him that he must have done something right to get her to agree to go on that one special date with him.

            One date was all it took, too. He knew right then and there that she was going to be a very special person to him for a very long time. They were cliché, but somehow their love story felt like their own. Unique.

            He’d never stray from her. How could you stray from perfection, from the storybook ending?

            “Shit, I think I forgot my purse.” She muttered after a moment.

            “I’ll go get it.” Oliver shrugged.

            “You’re the best.”

            “It took you long enough to get to the car in those stilts you call heels, anyway.”

            She swatted his shoulder as he turned back to the ballroom, a slight jog in his step as he was determined to retrieve the purse and bring it back to his love as soon as possible. After all, he wanted to get a jumpstart on what would certainly be the best night of his life.

 

* * *

 

            “Are you sure you’re okay with driving?” Ray asked.

            “Considering the last time you drove us anywhere, we ended up walking five miles to the nearest gas station, I’d say yes.” Felicity smirked as she whipped out her keys and unlocked her car.

            “I’m sure we could have just hopped in the limo with those other guys.”

            She snorted. “Yeah, let me take a limo to the school parking lot. That’s really cool.”

            “You’re not going to drink, are you?” He raised an eyebrow at her and while this question was typically accusatory in the sense that people didn’t _want_ drivers to drink, it was quite the opposite here.

            “I’m just not feeling it tonight.”

            “You’re never feeling it.”

            “Ray Palmer, are you trying to pressure me into drinking on prom night? How does that bode well for you?”

            He raised his hands in defense. “Hey, I just don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of all of us all the time.”

            “Somebody has to.” She muttered as she climbed into the driver’s seat.

            “I’m your boyfriend.”

            “Yeah, you are.”

            “You shouldn’t feel like that with me all the time. You should trust me.”

            “I do!”

            “Apparently not enough to get drunk with me.”

            “It’s not… It’s not like that.” She wrinkled her brow.

            “Then what is it? You can’t blame me for taking a little offense here, right?”

            “And you can’t blame me for feeling a little attacked right now!” She returned.

            “You drink with Laurel, Tommy, and Oliver sometimes. Hell, you’ve drank with Barry before. Whenever I’m around you don’t and I need you to know that I’m not going to hurt you or make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

            “Really? Because it sure seems like you’re trying to right now.”

            Ray’s mouth fell open a little bit. A good night fell to shit so fast and he swallowed hard. Felicity’s lack of trust in him had been evident for the past few months of their new relationship. It was all coming to a head right now and he couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t do anything that warranted such hesitance.

            “Ray…” She started regretfully.

            “You know what? I am going to drive with them.” He clicked his seatbelt and opened the car door. “I wouldn’t want you to think I was going to attack you while we were driving there or anything.”

            She groaned as he walked away from the car, tilting her head back in frustration. She needed air, but first she had to use the restroom. She also climbed out of the car and walked back towards the ballroom.

 

* * *

 

            Oliver loosened his tie as he strolled through the now empty ballroom, trying to locate the purse. After a minute or two of searching, he was about to give up, given it would have been pretty difficult to miss. However, he looked up to see Felicity Smoak leaving the ladies room with the very purse at hand.

            “Looking for this?” She smiled lightly and waved it at him.

            “You are a lifesaver.”

            “I always thought purple was your color.” She teased and raised the bag up to his face as if she were comparing it to his skin tone.

            “What are you still doing here?” He chuckled and took the purse from her. “Are you going to the lot?”

            “Bathroom.” She pointed. “And yeah, I guess.”

            “You don’t sound super enthusiastic about getting drunk in our school parking lot with a bunch of horny, sweaty other drunk high schoolers.”

            “You aren’t either, huh?”

            “Laurel really wants to go. She said this was going to be one of the last times we all get to hang out while we’re in high school.”

            “We have like two months left.” She scoffed. “And senior week.”

            “That’s what I said. Plus, we’re all going to get drunk together in college at some point. That’ll be way better.”

            “Yeah, I’m sure MIT really turns up.”

            “Drunk nerds should definitely be a reality show.”

            “Hosted by Bill Gates?” She offered as they walked over to the elevator. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just call me a nerd, by the way.”

            “Oh, you know you are one.” He rolled his eyes. “Speaking of nerd, where’s Ray?”

            “I think he’s riding over with you guys.”

            “And you’re not?”

            “I’m not really in the mood to get shit-faced. That’s not going to be problem, right?”

            He pressed the button. “No?”

            “I’m sorry.” She sighed and massaged her temples the way she did whenever she was frustrated. He took the moment to glance over her beautiful blue dress and up to her perfectly curled dark hair that was pinned up in various loops. He could tell that she and Ray were in a fight just by looking at the way her entire body was tensed up. The only other time she looked like that was when college acceptance letters were in the mail. He wasn’t a big fan of Palmer these days, simply because their relationship kind of grossed him out.

            Before he could ask what happened, the elevator jolted and suddenly lurched upward, sending the two of them to plummet to the ground with a hard fall. Before they could vocalize stress, the elevator shot back down again and this time, Felicity fell down on Oliver, chests smacking together and he gripped her tightly, trying to steady them. Eventually, the emergency lights switched on and the elevator became very still.

            “What the fuck?” He groaned.

            “You’re bleeding.” Her eyes widened.

            “No, I think you’re bleeding.” Oliver reached up and gently touched her forehead. She winced at the contact, but reached down to touch his as well. He unintentionally mimicked her reaction and it was evident they were both right.

            “I never liked the _Tower of Terror_ very much.” Felicity murmured as she crawled off of him and stood to investigate.

            “Are we stuck?”

            “Well, we certainly aren’t moving, are we?”

            Oliver approached her corner and leaned in to look at the buttons. He began pushing the bell button, trying to alert anyone around them that they were stuck in the elevator. Felicity reached for her phone and dialed the front desk.

            “Straight to voicemail.” She groaned.

            “I’m calling Laurel.” Oliver took his own phone out of his pocket.

            “Be sure to answer promptly.” She retorted and held the purse in front of his face.

            “You’re really snippy tonight, you know that?”

            “Well, excuse me for not being excited about being stuck in an elevator shaft at midnight when no one is answering.”

            “At least we’re not alone.”

            She nodded in agreement to that. She’d have a panic attack if she was alone when it happened. Then, she’d proceed to have a series of panic attacks due to being stuck in a confined space by herself with no one to babble to. Apparently, she’d never survive _Castaway_. She’d need an entire artillery of sports equipment to talk to.

            “No answer from Tommy. They’re still in the limo. I’m sure they’ll realize we’ve been here a long enough time and come looking for us.”

            “Or, they’ll get drunk in this parking lot and get too shit-faced to even notice we’re gone.”

            “That is also very possible.”

            “You’ve done it before, so I’d hope you could admit it.”

            “Hold on, when did I ever do that?”

            “You and Tommy got so drunk on New Year’s Eve that you left poor Barry and Ray at a gas station while they were grabbing snacks inside. You just left the car and walked off.”

            “Oh we realized they weren’t there. Ray was extremely sober and you know how I feel about sober-Ray…”

            “He’s one of your best friends! You’ve been best friends since, like, sixth grade. You would have had to like _some_ things about him when he isn’t under the influence.”

            “It’s a recent development.”

            “My mom isn’t answering either. Figures. She had a hot date tonight or as I like to call it: Friday.” She sat onto the floor, her heels already digging into her worn feet.

            “So you don’t like any of the guys?”

            “Never.”

            “Never?”

            “My mom attracts a very specific kind of man.”

            “What’s that?”

            “Typically of the douchebag variety.”

            “Same goes for my mom.” He slid down the wall next to her.

            “Um, aren’t your parents still together?”

            “Yep.”

            “Oh.”

            “Yeah.”

            “I’m sorry.”

            “That my Dad’s a dick? Hardly your fault.”

            “Is this… Has he always been that way?”

            “Nah…” He trailed off and she could tell by the softened expression on his face that Oliver could clearly remember a time where his father wasn’t an asshole, a happier time. She longed to see that through his eyes, because the brightness they held was truly something to be desired by anyone.

            “Do you ever want to get married?” She blurted out. When he gave her a questioning look, she shrugged. “Hey, we’ve got time.”

            He smiled. “Part of me does, I guess. Part of me wants peaceful suburbia with white picket fences, family dinners, and a dog that sleeps at the foot of the bed.”

            “And the other part?”

            “The other part of me wants independence, excitement, and passion. What about you?”

            “Maybe someday.”

            “Do you see yourself walking down the aisle to see the ever so smart Ray Palmer at the end, gazing at you through big eyes?”

            She smacked his shoulder. “Alright, you’re going to tell me why you don’t like him.”

            “No, you’re going to tell me why you-” _Do like him?_

            “-don’t like him right now.” He finished his own sentence quickly.

            “You first.”

            “Honestly? I can’t put my finger on it.” He shrugged. “I was friends with him longer than you and all I can think is that you deserve so much better than a guy that has a problem with whether or not you drink on prom night.”

            “Oliver, that happened tonight.”

            “Felicity, that’s just one example. He won’t sit through a horror movie with you because he’s so defenseless, he has to be smarter and better than you at everything, and Jesus Christ, has he even made you come yet?”

            Felicity’s face turned as bright and red as a tomato at that last one. “That… That is none of your business.”

            “I’ll take that as a no.” He scoffed. “I just think you deserve better.”

            “Ray is a good guy with a good heart and he’s… He’s trying! He likes me and I like him.”

            _Why?_

“Trying to _what_ , exactly?” He quirked an eyebrow and received a dirty look.

            “I’m sorry not everyone is as sexually capable as the infamous Oliver Queen.”

            “I’ve never had sex.”

            Her eyes widened at him. “Really?”

            “Don’t laugh at me.”

            “No! No, I’m not, honestly. I’m just a little shocked, because you’re so… You’re so _you_.” She realized her words didn’t make much sense, but she really needed him to follow her intonation to understand.

            “Er, tonight was supposed to be…”

            Felicity covered her mouth. “Oh my God!”

            “Yeah.”

            “Are you nervous?”

            “Not really, given the only person I’m spending confined alone time with as of right now is you.”

            “Sorry to disappoint.”

            “There are worse people to be stuck with.”

            “You’re not so bad yourself even when you’re trying to give me sex advice when you haven’t had it yet.”

            "I'm a virgin, not a prude, Felicity. I've done other things, very pleasurable things, thank you."

            "Oh, I'm sure."

            "I feel like you don't believe me."

            "You must if you're still trying to give me advice." She smirked.

            “If it helps, I don’t think it’s Ray’s fault entirely.”

            “What? How does that remotely help?”

            “I don’t think you trust him.”

            “I do trust him. I don’t know why I have to keep saying that to people, because I do. I trusted him enough to have sex with him, didn’t I?”

            “Something is holding you back.” He said lightly. “And you’ll never be able to completely and entirely love him unless you let that part go.”

            "I want to trust him."

            "Look, obviously Ray was the one complaining about your not drinking tonight and that is a dick move. I 100% agree with you on that one, but I highly doubt that's the only reason you're pissed. I think you're pissed at yourself."

            “When did you become Dr. Oz, exactly?”

            “At the end of the yellow brick road?”

            “Not the correct reference, but it’ll do.” She smiled, but it faded. “I guess I’m afraid of the hurt that’s going to come when I lose him.”

            “When? Felicity, any guy would be crazy to get lost when it comes to you. You deserve a guy who’s going to lose himself in you, because he thinks you're… Intoxicating and refreshing all at the same breath. You deserve someone that knows and believes you’re the greatest. You deserve someone who’s not foolish enough to pass up a chance at forever with you.” He wrapped an encouraging arm around her shoulders and gently squeezed her into his side. “Ray wants you. He just wants you to be more open with him.”

            “Thank you.” She murmured against his shirt. “You deserve the picket-fence _and_ the independence. And the passion, but apparently you've got that covered.”

            "I'm still sensing some mockery in your tone?"

            "Hey, if all else doesn't work out you can have that up here with me."

            "You're right. We might be up here forever."

            "Start an entire new generation of elevator babies."

            He snorted. "They'd be beautiful."

            "And probably really smart. Obviously we'd have to elevator-school them."

            "They wouldn't be very fit, because there's no space to run."

            "Pretty skinny too, because I'm sure the crackers in Laurel's purse won't last us very long."

            "We'll make do." He smiled against her dark hair. "You think that would happen?"

            "What?"

            "If we were stuck up here forever, or an island, and it was just us... Do you think we'd convince ourselves into falling for eachother?"

            "Definitely."

            "Wow, that was quick. What makes you so sure we won't kill each other?"

            "Oh, we still might, but I'm sure I would fall in love with you too, because you'd become my entire world in a sense."

            "That would be very romantic if death and desperate times weren't attached to it."

            "Yeah, well, you take what you can get."

            After an extended moment of silence filled with wondering how long or brief they'd been trapped in the confines of the small walls. It felt like both forever and just a few seconds and neither could tell which they preferred. 

            “So you don’t see me becoming the next Hugh Hefner?”

            Felicity wrinkled her nose. “No way, because I firmly believe that when you’re with the right girl, you’ll feel physically and completely incapable of saying yes to anyone else, because you’d rather saying a million no’s than have just the one from her.”

            She tilted her head up and for a moment their noses were touching and their breaths intermingled in the small space between them. Oliver couldn’t help but flicker his eyes from hers to her lips, which were stained from the bright lipstick that had worn off over the course of the evening.

            “You look really pretty tonight.”

            “Thank you.” She smiled. “Saying you look like a Disney prince would kind of be the understatement of the century.”

            He chuckled. “How do you do that?”

            “Do what?”

            “Make everything so… Light?”

            “I thought I was being snippy.”

            “You’re always a little snippy. I like that about you.”

            “And here I thought you hated me at one point, but surely you don’t, because I’m pretty and a good kind of snippy.”

            “When did you think I hated you?”

            “A couple months ago before we ended up seeing that concert. You avoided me like the plague.”

            “Not… completely intentionally.”

            “You realize you’re the one who introduced me to the group, right?”

            “You’re a core member now.”

            “And believe me, I love everyone individually for various different reasons, but I would think you’d sort of be my advocate and by the way you’re talking to me tonight… It sounds like you like me.”

            His eyebrows shot up and so did hers. “Uh… Um, no! Not like that. I don’t mean _like-_ like. I just mean _like_ as in you’re fond of me. Your personality is fond of mine in the most platonic of all ways.”

            “I was just going through a funk, Felicity. I promise it wasn’t me hating you or anything of the sort. I’m not crazy.”

            “Eh.” She waved her hand slightly.

            “Alright, well I’m not _that_ crazy.”

            “I’ll give you that. Not crazy, but terrible at telling time.”

            “I refuse to wear a watch.”

            “I know. You’re incorrigible, but at least you’re still cute.” Her eyes were twinkling and it would be so easy just to… In fact, he really wanted to… His nose gently rubbed against hers, silently asking for permission. When her eyes hesitantly fluttered closed, she waited and he slowly leaned in, taking the silent and desirable bait, suddenly forgetting everything excluding their names and the fact that they were completely and entire lost in a moment.

            Just before contact, his phone rang, snapping him out of the galaxy over the horizon and he yanked his head back before she could open her eyes. They were probably like that for a matter of seconds, but it felt like slow and silky years of almost and her words rang through his ears on repeat. What did that say about his relationship with Laurel if he was two seconds away from kissing another girl?

            Speaking of the devil, Laurel’s chipper voice filled his ears. Clearly she was using Tommy’s phone, but he still wished it was just his friend that called. It was obvious the reason Oliver hated Ray had little to do with Ray changing and everything to do with Ray being with Felicity. This was unsettling.

            “Hey babe, we’re here with the fire department on the first floor. They’re working on getting you guys out.”

            “Oh wow, that is so good to hear.” He cleared his throat. “We’re just hanging out.”

            “Put Felicity on the phone!” Ray could be heard in the background.

            Oliver handed the phone to Felicity, who he refused to look at. She also had to clear her throat and then answered the phone.

            “Hello?”

            “Baby, I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so worried that… I was so worried that our last words were going to be…”

            “I’m alright.” She said lightly.

            “I was being a jerk and I shouldn’t be pressuring you to trust me. I guess that’s no way to gain it, huh?”

            She sighed. “I wasn’t exactly being very fair either. I need time and patience.”

            “Me too. I think that’s why we work.”

            She looked over at Oliver awkwardly. “I think so.”

            “Felicity?”

            “Yeah?”

            “Before I put Laurel on, I want you to know that I love you.”

            “I…” She looked back at Oliver through almost pleading eyes. “I love you too.”

            And sure enough, the phone was passed back to Oliver and he received the full plans of what Laurel and he were going to do when they got to the hotel.

            “I still want to go to the lot.” Oliver said quietly. Honestly, he probably needed to get a little drunk before going through with it. He had to remind himself that the circumstances were strange and had he and Felicity just been walking down the street and not trapped in an elevator, both would be with their respective partners, not thinking about each other at all.

            “Are you sure?”

            “Yeah, friendship is important.”

            “You okay? You sound weird.”

            “I’m just a little confused… about the elevator.”

            “Right… Well, I love you, if that doesn’t go without saying.”

            “I love you too.” _And maybe it didn’t._


	27. Double Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara Lance makes a memorable return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, but I was on vacation this past week and didn't have much of a chance to post this. I hope you enjoy this, because this was a very fun and honest dynamic to write. I've always loved Sara as a character and enjoyed the friendship between her and Felicity.

They hadn’t talked to each other all week. Felicity knew it was bound to be awkward after the entire incident, but she hated how strongly she felt his prolonged absence. The little voice in the back of her mind was reminding her that these weren’t the kinds of feelings one normally got when in a sex-buddy relationship. Actually, she wasn’t sure what she was feeling. She just got her period the other day, writing off its lateness to stress. The funny thing was: being almost pregnant made her even more stressed, which probably continued to prevent her stupid period from coming.

            “Fuck, I’m still technically unemployed.” She grumbled as she fell back against her mattress. That was also stressing her out. The board loved her and Curtis’s idea and promised to get back to them with a promotion as soon as they could. Again, it had been a week and while she could have used the time off, it was tough to relax without assurance that anything was going to be okay from any angle.

            Her phone rang and she answered immediately when she noticed it was Curtis.

            “Hello?”

            “Felicity?” He sounded insanely out of breath.

            “You’re the one who called me, Curtis.”

            “Yeah, I know. Why the hell was I just chased down about twenty blocks?”

            “Is this one of those brain teasers you’re always trying to rope me into?”

            “No, I mean I was physically chased by this crazed blonde woman wielding a very sharp knife. She was grunting and- Oh fuck it, I’m coming over.”

            “Um… Are you okay?”

            “I will be. Just make some damn coffee, alright?”

            “Yeah, sure thing.” She crawled out of bed and padded into her kitchen. “I guess you weren’t a fan of tag as a kid.”

            “I don’t know what kind of elementary school you were going to, but I never played tag with knives.”

            It didn’t take Curtis very long to arrive, probably on account that the man had been running so hurriedly and just continued on pure adrenaline. He flopped onto one of her stools and gratefully took a cup of coffee and a bottle of water.

            “You’re lucky. Coffee is just about the only thing I can make.”

            “Lucky is not the word to describe me today, Felicity.” He groaned. “Do you know what it feels like to be hunted like prey? I could have died!”

            “Did you call the police?”

            “No, I called you.”

            “Why? I mean, not that you can’t trust me or that I don’t consider us friends, but I’m not exactly bodyguard material nor do I possess superpowers.”

            “This blonde woman kept screaming about how I wronged you.”

            “Me?”

            “I don’t know a lot of other Felicity’s and I doubt she does either. What the hell is that about?”

            Felicity opened her mouth to disagree, but snapped it shut when a realization dawned on her.

            “What’d she look like? She was blonde.”

            “Short, muscular, bright angry eyes…”

            “Oh my God, Sara.”

            “So you _do_ know this girl.”

            “Oh no… Curtis I am so sorry.” She put her head in her hands in absolute shame. She’d forgotten all about her little cover-up story from months ago. She didn’t ever think it would catch up to her, but that was pretty naïve of her to assume now wasn’t it?

            “Felicity. What’s going on?”

            “A few months ago when I was out with my friends, they were pestering me about the fact that I must be getting laid because I looked so calm and relaxed. As you know, I have been, but I didn’t want to tell them who it was because they all know him. But they just kept bothering me…”

            “You said _I_ was your fuck-buddy?” He stood up incredulously.

            “I’m sorry! You were the first name that they didn’t know that came to my mind and I figured I wouldn’t have to worry about you trying to spin this around so we do hook up, because you’re gay. I meant to tell you, but I completely forgot! That was a really weird night.”

            “I’ll say! Did it ever occur to you that one of your crazy friends would stumble upon me and my _husband_? That maniac tried to kill me, because she thought I was using you as the other woman or some bullshit.”

            “She probably thinks you’re bi.”

            “I’m not bi.”

            “She is, but that’s not important right now. Did she seem hyped up on drugs?”

            “She’s a drug addict too? Damn Felicity what kind of people are you running around with when you’re off the clock. Then again, you look pretty drugged up yourself right now.”

            “I just woke up, thank you.”

            “Is it that Vertigo nonsense?”

            “I don’t know.” Felicity shrugged. “But I do know that though she’s obviously gone off the walls, she probably would have chased you high or sober.”

            “That’s comforting. I can’t tell whether she’s insane or a good friend?”

            “Both. Definitely both. I’m the one who’s not a very good friend. I never should have used you like that.”

            “Hey, you’ve had a lot on your plate. I would like to be aware that a crazy person could be out for my blood next time.”

            “Absolutely. And don’t worry about Sara. I’m going to set her straight when I see her next.”

            A loud pounding came at the front door and Sara’s booming voice wasn’t far behind it.

            “I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE WITH HER YOU SCUMMY PIECE OF ASSHOLE SCUM.”

            “Sara?” Felicity raised her voice. Curtis ducked beneath the counter with the fear of death in his eyes.

            “I’m very much worrying about Sara, Felicity. VERY MUCH!”

            “YOU BETTER WORRY ABOUT ME, SHITFACE! YOU’RE THE LOWEST TRASH ON THE EARTH, ROPING MY FRIEND INTO YOUR SCHEME OF DECEIT. I’M GOING TO BEAT YOU SO HARD YOUR TONGUE STICKS OUT OF YOUR ASSHOLE.”

            “Sara, it’s not what you think!” Felicity responded. She sure as hell wasn’t opening the door until it was confirmed that Curtis wouldn’t become blended meat the second she did.

            “NOT WHAT I THINK? GO ON AND TELL HER, JERKOFF! TELL HER ABOUT HOW YOU’RE CHEATING ON YOUR _HUSBAND_ OF FIVE YEARS. TALK A LITTLE ABOUT HOW YOU DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HUMAN EMOTION OR DECENCY. SHE’LL LOVE THAT.”

            “Sara, I know he’s gay. He’s not cheating on his husband.”

            After a long pause of silence, Sara voiced her confusion. “What?”

            “I LOVE MY HUSBAND!” Curtis cried.

            “He’s not my fuck-buddy.” She stated. “I lied.”

            “Open the door.”

            “Um, are you going to hurt Curtis?”

            “I think judging by his voice he peed his pants, which is more damage than he deserves.”

            “I did. A little.”

            “Are you going to hurt me?” Felicity called.

            “Maybe. That depends who you’re sleeping with.”

            “Um, I think it’s best we keep this closed then.”

            “Felicity, I’m one of your best friends and I don’t feel like I know you anymore. You are literally shutting me out.”

            “Me? Sara, Nyssa and I have been worried sick that you’ve become a drug addict for the past couple months. You’re not showing up to hang out, not coming home, acting out in violence. I know you’ve always been strong and more of a loner, but this isn’t you. None of this is.”

            “Well, open the door and I’ll explain if you do.”

            “And I’ll get my ass home.” Curtis slowly rose to his feet.

            Felicity sighed and slowly unlocked the door. Sara didn’t look like someone that could tear you to pieces, but she never doubted it. She cared more about the answers her friend was offering her than the penalty she’d receive for the life she’d been living. In a way, both were leading some kind of scandalous double life of secrecy. Though they both looked at each other and recognized the familiar face of their long-term friend, they didn’t really know this other side of each other. Felicity longed that more than anything else, because even if she didn’t approve, Sara would understand. She just hoped her friend understood that that went likewise.

            Curtis passed the two women and nodded awkwardly at Sara.

            “Thanks for being so understanding.” Sara smiled weakly.

            “Thanks for the cardio?” He suggested and gave a “good luck” shrug to Felicity, who genuinely smiled at her friend.

            Sara shut the door behind him and turned back to her.

            “Should I go first or should you?”

            “You go. Considering you almost killed my friend today, I’d say that’s a bit more lethal, wouldn’t you?”

            “I guess that’s fair.” She shrugged and took a seat on the couch as if they were getting ready to swap theories regarding the next _Star Wars_ movie and not talk life or death.

            “I know you’re aware that Vertigo is back… Or at least, that’s what people _think_ is back.”

            “You mean, it’s not Vertigo.”

            “No. Not at all.” Sara shook her head. “This new drug enhances the strength and physical capability of its user by about 200%. It makes them self-healing, basically indestructible unless by explosive or being impaled by something sturdy enough to break the surface of their skin.”

            “Sara…”

            “Let me finish. I’m not on drugs. This drug is called Mirakuru and while it gives the body great strength, it reduces the mind to sludge and basically leaves only the most vile and destructively driven emotions and thought processes.”

            “So it makes people evil.”

            “Exactly, which accompanied with practical invincibility it’s an incredibly dangerous combination.”

            “How do you know all of this exactly if you’re not a user?”

            “I’m working undercover for my dad.”

            “With Ray?”

            “They have him on the inside too, yeah.”

            “What about Slade?”

            Sara shook her head. “Word on the street is Slade had a hand in creating this shit, something about trying to make a bigger and better steroid.”

            Felicity took her friend’s hands in her own. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

            “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you about it. Nyssa knows now, because she was about to leave me a couple weeks ago if I didn’t tell her straight up what was going on.”

            “I didn’t even know you were a cop.”

            “I’m actually training to go into the FBI, hence the secrecy.”

            “That makes sense. I’m really sorry I doubted you.”

            “I didn’t give you any reason not to doubt me, Felicity.”

            “Any word on how they’re going to stop it.”

            “I’m getting in close to try and corner Slade into admitting he created the Mirakuru and then we’ve got him.”

            “I heard Ray was possibly partially responsible for making it.”

            “The initial version, yeah. He was working with Slade to create a better steroid, but after the failed experiment and how fucked up Slade ended up, Ray wouldn’t continue with it any further, not that that makes him a good guy or anything, just a smart businessman.”

            “I know.”

            “You know?”

            “Ray’s not a good person. That’s pretty evident, but you _are_ a good person and I am so proud of you and all you’ve become. You’ve come so far from that 15 year old I had to drive to the ER on prom night.”

            “Yeah, I can hold my alcohol way better than that little twerp.”

            “And you’re way more badass. Though, I’ve always thought you to be that way.”

            “Speaking of badass, how about the way I chased your friend down today?”

            “Did you have to use a knife? Jeeze, where did you even keep that? Does it ever accidentally cut you-”

            “-That’s classified.”

            “It’s totally cut you before.”

            “Once or twice, but it wouldn’t have happened if you’d been honest about who you were sleeping with.”

            “Maybe I was afraid you’d knife him?”

            Sara snorted.

            “Okay, bad choice of words, but what else is new? I just didn’t want you going all detective mode, which makes a lot more sense now that I know you’re a cop, on him or me. I wanted to feel a little crazy for once in my life. I thought the secrecy of the affair is what made it good and exciting… Of course that is not the case at all since it seems a lot of people know now.”

            “Who knows?”

            “Well, Curtis, his friends from work, my mother, his mother, his sister, Laurel…”

            “Laurel? Why the hell would you tell Laurel and not me? You don’t even like Laurel anymore! I know I’ve been distant, but come on-”

            “-It’s Oliver.” Felicity blurted out.

            Sara’s eyes widened for a moment, but though she gasped, she returned to normal not long later. Apparently, this wasn’t the most shocking information ever. It was hard to read Sara’s emotions in general, but right now she could be interpreted by a long scale of emotions and Felicity decided it was best to go straight for the explanation.

            “Felicity-”

            “I know, I know, Laurel dated him and I was apparently very visibly in love with him in high school and I shouldn’t be getting mixed up with anymore people from my past especially people I had feelings for, because that leaves a lot of room for me to blur the lines and get myself hurt even worse than I was when I found out Ray was cheating on me with the entire Western seaboard!”

            “Whoa, whoa, breathe, Felicity. _Breathe._ ” She placed encouraging hands on her shoulders. “Take a minute.”

            “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” She murmured after a few moments of quiet breathing.

            “I get it.” Sara shrugged. “I had the biggest crush on Oliver all throughout high school. I just thought he was the hottest guy ever and I envied Laurel for being with him. I think everyone did. You two were such good friends after high school and with all this drama with Ray, it’s hard not to fall on something so… promising.”

            “You’re not mad?”

            “No! In fact, if it weren’t for the deterrent you provided with Curtis, I would have totally suspected Ollie. He’d just broken up with someone, you’d just broken up with someone, there’s trust there, and it seems safe.”

            “I guess _seems_ is the key word here, huh?”

            “Yeah.” Sara gently placed a stray hair behind Felicity’s ear. “I’m not going to tell you what to do. I’ve made enough mistakes in my life to kind of eliminate my right to judge you for this, but can I offer you some advice?”

            “Sure.”

            “Break it off the second you start to fall in love with him.”

            Felicity shifted in her seat.

            “Felicity.”

            “Hm?”

            “You don’t love him do you?”

            “I… I don’t _love_ him.”

            “But you might.”

            “I don’t know anything right now… Last week, Oliver and I had a pregnancy scare and it really, well, scared me. I was so terrified that my life was set in stone and I wasn’t going to achieve any of the things I wanted, but more than any of that, I was afraid I was going to lose him. It shouldn’t be that way, right? I shouldn’t feel that way.”

            “But you do.”

            “I know! And then the test was negative obviously, but we just sat around and talked about life and what we wanted. For the first time in my life, I kind of liked the idea of maybe having kids someday.”

            “With him?”

            “Jesus, I don’t know.”

            “See, that should be a _no_.”

            “Sara, I know a lot of things should be _no’s_ and maybe a lot of things should be _yes’s_ too, but the lines are so beyond blurred right now and I don’t know where to start. I had rules! I had rules and so many of them were broken.”

            “What were the rules?”

            “Number 10 was “No dates”, but we’ve met for coffee, watched movies together, gone out to get pizza together, hell, I even went to a family party with him.”

            “You’re going backwards.”

            “It adds dramatic effect! Number 9 was “No sleepovers”, which I can tell you lasted for like four seconds, because I had him at my place for a whole week and we’ve literally had sleepovers ever since.”

            “You had him stay with you? How long ago was this?”

            “Too long. Number 8: “No New Introductions” for God’s sakes we met both of our mothers. I tried to write it off because we’ve technically met each other’s parents before, but nope, not like that.”

            “This is bad.”

            “I know! Number 7: “Safe sex”, well, the pregnancy test threw that out the window didn’t it?”

            “I’d say so.”

            “Number 6: “No displays of affection”. I’ve kissed that man so many times I’ve lost track.”

            “Were you keeping track?”

            “… Anyway, number 5: “Both must come”… Okay, we kept that one.”

            “Did you ever give him head?”

            “…”

            “Well, I’m guessing you weren’t bursting at the seams while he was unloading.”

            “It sounds really gross when you phrase it that way. He took care of me too, FYI.”

            “Thank God. Is he good at it? I’d never ask when my sister was dating him, because _ew_ , but I’ve always wondered.”

            “As you know my experience is limited-”

            “-Not so much anymore, apparently.”

            “… He’s mind-blowingly good at it.”

            “Excellent. Get yours.”

            “Number 4: “Meetings must take place after sundown”. Okay, I have to say, this one was fairly abided by.”

            “Wow, you managed to not go at it at three in the afternoon. Kudos.”

            “And the last three are basically “friendship comes first”, “end it when feelings happen”, and “no love”. As you know, I’m pretty screwed over there.”

            “And you’re the one who made them.” Sara snorted.

            “Because I think I knew deep down that if anyone were to… you know, become emotionally attached, it would be me.”

            “Do you think he is too?”

            “Last week I definitely got a glimpse that he was.” Felicity sighed. “Why did I do this? Oh, God, why couldn’t I have just shut my legs and harbored my sadness with exuberant amounts of Netflix and alcohol like I’d already planned?”

            “Because that would be pathetic?”

            “I’d be over it by now!”

            “Are you over Ray?”

            “Yes.”

            “Are you really?”

            “Um, yes?”

            “Because how do you know these feelings you may or may not be noticing you have for Oliver isn’t just you wanting to be in a long-term relationship again? You don’t know. You could be projecting all your past feelings for Ray onto Oliver, which isn’t fair to either of you. Hell, does he seem over Laurel?”

            Her mouth went dry. “He seemed really distraught when we ran into her at CVS.”

            “Laurel saw you with the pregnancy test?”

            “Yep.”

            “Wow, your luck sucks.”

            “I know.”

            “But he seemed upset.”

            “Well, yeah. She was being a, no offense to you, total bitch about the whole being engaged to Tommy thing and how she and him had a fake pregnancy scare the year before. She basically told him she was relieved she never had kids with him, because that’d just be the worst thing ever.”

            “Laurel’s a bitch.” Sara shook her head in annoyance. “She hasn’t always been this way… Mom and Dad’s divorce morphed her into some she-witch.”

            “I think she just felt threatened by me in that moment, which was weird, because I’m me and she’s herself. Anyway, yeah, Oliver seemed upset by that, but he kind of shoved that away given the fact that we were in a worse predicament.”

            “Felicity, you’re treading a very dangerous line here. All I want for you is to be happy and hey, if somewhere along the line you and Ollie straighten your shit up and realize you’ll find that in each other, so be it, you have my blessing. But the damage that this could all cause, the damage that this _is_ causing by your silence and internalizing, is going to be way worse than losing Ray. I know you were hurt, but I also know that you believe in love and honest commitment. You may or may not want kids but you don’t want to be alone. You want something permanent. Don’t sacrifice that, because you’re afraid to let go of something easy.”

            Felicity smiled and nodded. “Thank you, Sara.”


	28. Taking Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First dates are overrated.

            “Are you coming over to Mom’s for dinner?” Thea asked. “She’s been dying to have another get together with you and Felicity.”

            Oliver tightened his grip on the steering wheel and tried to shield the tension from Thea, who would spitfire a million questions at once that he didn’t know the answers to.

            “Mom never likes the girls I bring home. Except Laurel.”

            “I think she’s finally come around on that debacle. The whole proposal situation snapped her back into reality. She hates her now.”

            “That doesn’t really do anything for me.”

            “Do you hate her?”

            Oliver shrugged. “I was mad, but I’ve had bigger things to worry about than what Laurel Lance has been doing with her time. Or Tommy, for that matter.”

            “I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Oliver Queen is finally over Laurel Lance. I never thought I’d see that day.”

            “Is that your way of saying congratulations?”

            “What do you love most about her?”

            Oliver wrinkled his brow. “Laurel?”

            “No! Felicity, of course. I see how you look at her. You’re not fooling anyone no matter how lowkey you’re trying to play it.”

            “Speedy…”

            “I’ll tell you what I love most about Roy if you want.”

            “I don’t want.”

            “C’mon, Ollie. I want nothing more than to see you happy. I haven’t seen you since the two of you stormed out of the gala like some sort of power couple. I think I deserve some kind of vetting process as your one and only sister.”

            “Why can’t we just talk about how your day of school was?”

            When the stern look Thea offered him told him she wasn’t budging, Oliver relented. The last thing he needed was yet another reason to jog up his budding (or perhaps surfacing) feelings for Felicity. However, he wasn’t going to completely and utterly deny them like an idiot.

            “I love… I love a lot of things about her, Speedy. I can’t just pinpoint one. That’s like asking your all-time favorite song.”

            “Tell me…” Thea wanted to hear about her brother’s happiness, if not for him than for her, because she’d witnessed nearly zero successful examples of love in her short life and she’d be damned if she was going to let Oliver mess up his chance at achieving it. If emotionally damaged Oliver Queen could get a grasp on love, then surely Thea could too. Surely there was a chance for her yet.

            Oliver sighed and his face melted from stern determination to a pensive softness. He looked almost like a completely different man and in the few seconds of action she’d seen between them before Tommy and Laurel made everything go to hell, Thea saw the face her brother naturally wore when he was next to Felicity at the party.

            “I love the way she says whatever’s on her mind: good, bad, embarrassing. She never holds back and although sometimes the most ill-phrased and hilariously humiliating word structures flow from her perfectly shaped lips, I love how unfiltered she is as a human being. I love how she constantly changes her nail polish to match her outfits and how she can’t even cook omelets, but she’ll try until she uses up an entire carton. I love her humor and her wit. Most of all, I think I love how loyal she is, how she’ll never leave anyone’s side, because she’s the best person I know.”

            “And you just love her. You capital “L” love her, which in case you were wondering, is some serious shit right there.”

            “It’s definitely unlike anything I’ve experienced with anyone else.” Oliver honestly answered in the least suspicious voice he could muster.

            “So?”

            “So what?”

            “Oh come on, Ollie. What are you afraid of?”

            “Who said anything about being afraid?”

            “The second you bring Felicity over for a private family gathering, aka not a party, your relationship becomes real. Then you need to face how you feel instead of ranting off to me on the car-ride home.”

            “Thea, I’m at a weird place in my life right now and so is she…”

            “How do you expect to get out of a weird place in your life if you don’t make the active decision to do so? You can’t just sit around and wait for the universe to magically fix everything.”

            “I just don’t know if I’m ready for anything serious.”

            “No, you don’t want to be ready for anything serious.”

            “Isn’t that a key sign that I’m not?”

            “It’s a key sign your head is ever-so deeply buried in denial that you haven’t seen the light of day.”

            “Nice.”

            “Alright, fine, I’ll stop bugging you. I just don’t want to see you make the same mistakes…”

            Oliver looked sharply at her. “Me? I was the one cheated on, you know.”

            “I’m aware and that was wrong. So wrong, but you can’t honestly tell me that you were the picture-perfect boyfriend. You’ve had some distance from your relationship with Laurel now. You can look back and see the faults. She wasn’t perfect and neither were you. You sat on your ass, forgot birthdays/dates/anniversaries, partied too much. It was like you were eternally 17 years old.”

            “Hey-”

            “-It’s like you wanted the relationship to eventually end.”

            “It’s not that…”

            “Okay, then what is it? Because I am _sick_ of seeing you getting in your own way. Do you have any idea how hard that is to watch?”

            “Can we chill with the therapy session here?”

            “You refuse to let anyone in. In fact, I don’t even think you ever really let Laurel in. You convinced yourself you did and yeah, you loved her, but you didn’t grow with her. Do you even want to be happy?”

            Oliver slammed on the brakes as they approached Robert Queen’s manor. He tightened his hold on the steering wheel, feeling fire burn through his core, releasing a secret pain he’d felt for as long as he could remember, dating passed his relationship with Laurel.

            “Of course I want to be happy, Thea!” He practically yelled. When he noticed the fear in her wide-eyes, he loosened himself and steadied his breathing a bit.

            “I just…” He swallowed. “I don’t think I can.”

            Her gaze flickered from fear to sadness and he wasn’t sure which he hated seeing more in her. He knew she looked up to him, despite her cockiness. She wanted him to do great and fall in love so she knew she could too. She had to understand that she was so much stronger, much more deserving than he ever was. She’d find a way through her own determination while he stubbornly tripped over his own feet.

            He looked away from her and straight towards his childhood home. The word “home” didn’t quite suit it. In fact, he couldn’t put an image to the word and be sincere in doing so. Instead, he pictured people who mattered to him. He’d be remiss if he said Felicity didn’t come to mind.

            He knew love existed and for a little while he thought it existed for him, but even before he’d broken up with Laurel, he saw the similarities between he and his father. He feared he’d make the same mistakes and as he did. Instead, he went out of his way to make his own and prevent that. If someone could love him for them, that was the true miracle.

            “Because of dad?”

            Oliver sighed. “I’ll see you later, Speedy.”

            “Please bring Felicity to dinner sometime. Mom and I would really like it.”

            He didn’t answer her and just waited until she got safely inside. When he pulled away, he released a tight puff of air. He wanted to be happy. His time with Felicity had been the only bright spot of this entire journey. Why would he let something like that go? He didn’t want to be the guy that ruined life for himself. He didn’t want to be his father.

 

* * *

 

            Felicity didn’t know why she was surprised to see Oliver Queen on her doorstep. In fact, Oliver Queen looked pretty surprised to be on her doorstep. She was 50-50 on whether she’d ever see him again after the pregnancy that could have been. Unsurprisingly, she was relieved he turned up, no matter how sheepish and shy the man seemed. A man like Oliver and the word “shy” really shouldn’t mesh, but it looked rather cute on him. She didn’t even know what he had to be shy about. She’d seen every square inch of him and there was nothing to be shameful of.

            “Hey there.” She smiled. “I’d be lying if I said I was sure I’d see you here so soon.”

            “I’d never ditch you like that. You’re my friend.”

            “With benefits.” She added rather cheekily. “Or… Are we? I don’t think we ever even discussed the details of which our relationship was currently-”

            “-Do you want to go on a date with me?”

            She tilted her head. “Your mom holding another party?”

            “No!” He answered quickly. “Um… I was thinking more along the lines of the two of us, dressed nicely, not that you don’t usually dress nice, but uh… What I’m trying to say is I’d like to take you to dinner. Just dinner, not a sex-game thing or anything of the sort. Well, it can be I guess if it goes well enough…”

            “Hey, Oliver?” She cut him off, a smirk on her lips. “I’m supposed to be the babbling one. This date isn’t going to work if we both can’t get a proper sentence out.”

            He grinned. “So that’s a yes?”

            “Oh hell yes.” She nodded. “I wouldn’t pass up the chance to see you in a suit again.”

            “I’ll pick you up at 6.” He smiled. “Friday?”

            “Friday.”

 

* * *

 

            Friday came a lot quicker than either had expected. Of course Felicity had not-so-coyly mentioned the occasion to her mother, who simply squealed at range that only dogs had the pleasure of hearing. She tried to play it cool, but Felicity couldn’t deny the fact that she was pretty nervous. She’d hung out with Oliver countless times (and she’s already seen him naked… a lot), but that’s what scared her more. The very fact that they already knew so much about each other gave a “25th date and serious” kind of vibe. It removed the layer of ambiguity, which was good and bad. Either way, her excitement weighed out the possible negatives.

            Oliver took off that night and was trying not to seem nervous or juvenile as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. The key was to not seem overly calm or nervous. He needed to find a happy medium and instead he looked like a high school girl trying to talk herself into going all the way after prom. No, if they were going all the way he’d be feeling a lot less anxious. That was a department he excelled at and Felicity was one of his best reviewers.

            He texted her to let her know he was on his way and drove the familiar path to her place. It gave him a familiar warm and fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

            “Calm the hell down, Oliver.” He gritted.

            He hadn’t had a real date since Laurel. He was choosing not to include the disastrous double date between he, Iris, Felicity, and Barry. That became more of a competition than anything.

            It didn’t take him long to arrive at her doorstop and he suddenly had a streak of confidence flow through his veins. This was Felicity. It was just like they were hanging out but with a different label on it. They were friends taking a different step. It didn’t have to be weird. In fact, Oliver secretly hoped it would be the last first date he ever experienced.

            To say she looked beautiful was an understatement. He knew she was pretty, but in the dim yet illuminating streetlight, she looked like an angel. Her dress was scarlet and her lips and fingernails matched to a T. Her hair fell down in soft wavy tendrils that sloped past her shoulders. He breathed heavily as the well-fitted dress caught his eye at every magical curve he had the pleasure of touching with his own two hands. His eyes met hers again and they twinkled with a conglomerate of anticipation, nervousness, excitement, and laughter. She was always touched with laughter and it infected every part of his being, soaking through him, giving him warmth.

            Felicity ignored the rules and the distant fears about jumping into something that could destroy their friendship. She ignored it all and instead took his hand and let him guide her to his car. On the way, she silently prayed she didn’t do something stupid like trip over her feet and crack her tooth. She hadn’t been on a first date since Ray and since that one didn’t go smoothly, her track record wasn’t great.

            “I knew it.” She sighed and he looked over at her before putting the key in the ignition.

            “Knew what? Besides everything, probably.” He smirked and God, that smile did things to her. Did that smile always do things to her like that? Or was she finally letting herself notice all things Oliver Queen and enjoy them?

            “The suit. You never let me down.”

            He turned his head to hide a developing blush and she reached out to poke her index finger into one of his prominent dimples on his cheek.

            “And humble too? Wow, this is something else.”

            “You act like you don’t look like a million bucks.”

            “I can’t even deny it, because you know what that looks like.” She teased. “Not that I want to talk about money at all, because truthfully I don’t care about it. I just care about… This.”

            “This?”

            “You and me, no matter what we may be.”

            He linked their hands and smiled softly. “Me too.”

            “Where are we going?”

            “Do you like Italian? Everyone loves Italian, right?”

            “I do.” She laughed. “I think it’s a rule that everyone has to like Italian. Pasta is a godsend during lent, after all.”

            “Felicity, you’re Jewish.”

            “I mean, not for me! I’m not _everyone_.”

            _You are to me._

            Oliver’s phone broke the silence.

            “It’s your mom.” Felicity said.

            Oliver scrambled for the phone. “I didn’t even tell her about this. She does already think we’re dating. I didn’t think it was-”

            “-Hey, it’s okay. Answer it.” She smiled.

            He sighed and clicked the green button. “Hello?”

            A breathy voice responded. “`Liver.”

            “Mom?”

            “I…” Now it sounded like she was distant. “Not much time…”

            “Are you okay?”

            “This… Isn’t him… This isn’t him…”

            “Isn’t who? Mom, you’re freaking me out. What’s going on?”

            “OLLIE!” Thea’s sharp scream came into the background.

            “Thea? Where are you?”

            “Come and get ‘em, Ollie old boy.” A disguised and garbled voice cut her off. “Come and get them before its too late.”

            “What the fuck is going on?” He yelled.

            “Come to the park where it all started. Come to the place where hell first broke loose. Come by midnight or I kill them both.”

            “I’m going to fucking kill whoever you are-”

            The line went dead and Oliver felt like he was floating or maybe sinking. In fact, he didn’t remember pulling over, asking Felicity to drive them to the police, or even giving his statement. Before he knew it, he was at the precinct, next to Felicity, head in hands, regretting everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Family drama has kept me from writing, but now that I'm back, I'm back in full swing.


	29. Midnight Rush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s hard for anything involving the Queen’s to stay quiet. Oliver spirals as leads and news fall silent while Felicity just tries to keep him sane.

The world swallowed him whole and spit him out as he went through waves of questioning from several sets of detectives that he’d never remember the names of. All they seemed to have were questions, questions Oliver couldn’t answer. Every time he regretfully had to shake his head in ignorance, he bit down on his tongue until he felt blood soaking through his mouth like a sponge. It kept him alert, reminded him he was alive and despite the circumstances, quite necessary to finding Thea and his mother. His eyes kept flickering to the seemingly rapid hands that spun around he clock a mile a minute and his heart burst with every minute lost.

            “All the vending machine had were bugles… and I’m pretty sure they’re stale.” A familiar, but comforting voice approached him. Felicity had been sitting with him at the station all night, keeping him company in between various interrogations he had to endure. Mostly, he didn’t really listen to what she was saying, but just absorbed how she was saying everything. She was trying desperately hard to hold out hope and to keep him from drowning in his inner psyche.

            _Well, that was bound to happen at some point anyway._

“I have to say, I have had worse meals on a first date.” She offers after seconds… minutes… hours… days?

            Whatever the interval, it brought a smile to Oliver’s face. Or at least, he thought he was smiling. By the concerned expression she was returning, it was entirely possible that he was just intensely grimacing.

            “Like what?” He gripped her lifeline, willing to take this conversation as far from his own internal destruction as she could take him.

            “Well, I got food poisoning on my first date with Ray.” In retrospect, there were a lot of negative signs she willingly overlooked in the name of hope. It amazed her how such a story could be comedic now.

            “And then he had an allergic reaction.”

            Oliver stuck his hand in the bag and retrieved a hard cone. “At least he paid.”

            “Nah, the staff did. I think they just felt really sorry for us. I ruined their best toilet there.”

            “I feel like any place that has a “best toilet” isn’t a great place.”

            “This place doesn’t even have a good one.”

            “I’ll be sure to take you to a finer establishment on the second date.”

            She didn’t allow herself any excitement over his joke, because after all, they were in the middle of a police investigation trying to uncover who was currently holding his sister and mother hostage and threatening to kill them by the stroke of midnight. It wasn’t the time for schoolgirl butterflies and frankly, she was terrified for Thea and Moira as well.

            “I’m really-” Oh God, apparently she’d gone silent for too long, because the man was beginning to apologize because they had to go to the SCPD to help rescue his mother and sister, who were currently in a life or death situation. Bless him, he thought everything in the whole world was his fault and she wasn’t sure how or when he got like that, but it was simultaneously the most frustrating and admirable quality about him.

            “-Please don’t finish that sentence.” She winced. “Oliver, there was no way to predict… None of this is your fault.”

            “I know.” It was very clear he didn’t know.

            “We’re going to find them.”

            “They tried every park.” Oliver massaged his temples. “They tried every damn park in the entire city. And neighboring suburbs. I don’t even know what started, anyway. His voice keeps ringing through my ears and I don’t know who it is.”

            “Did you get ahold of your dad?”

            “He’s on his way. When he gets here you can go if you-”

            “-Again, let’s not complete ridiculous suggestions, okay Oliver? I’m staying and I want to be here.”

            He nodded slowly. “Right.”

She gently placed a hand on his back and moved in soothing circles. What do you do when your (more than a) friend’s family is kidnapped with no signs of survival? Talking wasn’t exactly her strongest suit. Well, she loved to talk and she did it all the time, but in times of strife she feared she’d say the wrong thing and instead decided to be silently present.

            Suddenly, a text from an unknown number lit up his screen.

            “Oliver?” With shaky hands, Felicity raised the phone to his attention.

            Both gazed in horror at a closeup of a beat up, gagged Robert Queen staring back through fearful eyes. Below it, there was a message.

            _Come join the family reunion._

 

* * *

 

            The station buzzed with fervent energy, phones ringing and voices unevenly clattering on top of one another in an attempt to gain some semblance of control over the hysteria that was the press, the people, and the leads they so desperately needed. The truth about Mirakuru had broke and John Diggle and Sara Lance stood side-by-side as they watched it all unfold. They’d enjoyed being partners over the past few months and thought their team had come to an end at the capture of ringleader Slade Wilson, but it was the opposite of the case apparently. Now, the kidnapping of the A-listing Queen family was terrorizing the entire city and everything was falling apart.

            “Something’s wrong here, Sara.” Diggle muttered as they locked themselves away in an empty interrogation room.

            “I know. Someone on the inside called the press, made sure hell would break loose just so it would look like we’re busy.”

            “Someone doesn’t want these Queen’s found.”

            “I can think of someone that definitely does.”

            “Two someone’s. I saw them in the hallway.” He nodded. “It’s all coming back to Oliver Queen. He was close with Slade, targeted a while back, and now his family is kidnapped? That can’t be a coincidence.”

            “Ollie would never do this. He looked like a mess out there.”

            “Careful, Lance. I don’t want to see your emotions get the best of you like your old man.”

            “Don’t tell me you didn’t start to care for him too, John. I know you were undercover, but you seemed pretty annoyed that he wasn’t asking Felicity out.”

            “He’s whipping around a good girl. I’m not inhuman.”

            “Really?”

            “Funny.”

            “Look, I’ll agree with you that this somehow does surround Oliver Queen, but maybe we’re not thinking about this the right way. Who would want him to suffer?”

            “Maybe your sister?”

            “Does everyone know that drama?”

            “Oliver’s mentioned it a time or two.”

            “Right. You’re workout buddies.”

            “We are not buddies.”

            “Mhmm. Felicity’s ex-fiancé wouldn’t exactly love the fact that his high school rival is now somewhat with his high school sweetheart.”

            “Palmer? Wasn’t he trying to help us for a little while?”

            “Not until after he was caught being somewhat involved in the beginning phases.” Sara scrunched her nose. “Wait, nevermind, Ray is at some rehab facility to sort out his anger issues. He’s not even allowed access to technology or visitation until next week.”

            “Don’t you know your stuff.”

            “I try.”

            “Hey, come quick, there’s been a new text sent to Oliver!” A cop distantly called.

            “What should I file it as?” Another asked.

            “Don’t.”

            Sara and John exchanged worried glances. Corruption was happening within their own precinct, corruption both had suspected ever since working together on the Vertigo (soon to be titled “Mirakuru”) case. Shifting positions in superiors along with a significant increase of police brutality, lack of paperwork, and less restriction on organized crime.

            “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think we need to work outside the badge to nab these motherfuckers.”

            “You’re too close to this. If someone’s gonna do it, it’s me. And why can’t you believe you’re saying this? You’re practically a vigilante cop.”

            “Hey, easy on the v-word, the boys are sensitive.” She smirked before taking the lead towards the other mass of officers. “Besides, you act like you’re a shining beacon of police honesty.”

            “At least I never pretended to be a stripper.”

 

* * *

 

            A tall, dark man emerged through the double doors and walked towards them with purpose. She recognized him as Oliver’s friend from the gym who was at Wintergreen’s when they bumped into each other during book club. She gently nudged Oliver from his blank stare at the wall and he looked up and over at the large man.

            “John?”

            “I heard about your family. I’m so sorry. Hi, Felicity.” John nodded towards her and she smiled weakly. She wrinkled her brow in confusion at his badge. She was under the impression that he was a trainer at the gym. Hell, he looked built enough to take down seven Felicity’s but that wasn’t the point. She’d ask questions when Thea and Moira were both rescued safely. She kept telling herself that for her own sanity and refusal to believe they were caught in the middle of a _Taken_ movie.

            “Thank you. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t heard anything in over an hour from any of the other cops. Are they still chasing leads?”

            “That’s what I’m here to talk to you about. They’re not finding anything.”

            Oliver lowered his head to his hands and Felicity resumed stroking his back while looking up at the sympathetic officer.

            “I think uh… I think any chance we have of finding them comes from you.”

            “I told them everything I know, John.”

            “I believe you man, but those people in there…” He looked down the hall as if it were a million miles away and he was ahead of the pack. “They’re not doing much. I don’t know why, but they’re not.”

            “What are you suggesting, Mr…?” Felicity started.

            “-Diggle. And I’m just saying. If you wanted to nail this son of a bitch to a cross tonight and save your family, I suggest you meet me for some fresh air in about 5 minutes.”

            Oliver looked at the clock. 11:30.

            Diggle knew something that he wasn’t share with his comrades. In fact, Diggle didn’t seem like he trusted those guys at all. Something was definitely off, but he would take any chance he got at saving his family.

            “Do you trust him?” Felicity asked after he disappeared down the hall.

            “I think I have to.” He sighed and got to his feet. “I don’t know what I’m going to run into out there…”

            “Me neither.” She met him, heels in hand, and tilting her head back to look deeply into his eyes. “Which is why I’m coming.”

            “I’d say you long passed the whole “ride or die” test.”

            “Oliver, I’m not just going to let you go alone into a warzone.”

            “I won’t be alone. You’ve seen Diggle.”

            “Yeah and you might need someone who can trace phone calls or hack tracking devices. C’mon, I’ll even let you have shotgun.”

            “Fine, but you stay in the car.”

            She forced herself not to roll her eyes. It was sweet that he was looking out for her even in the midst of crisis, but she didn’t need to be babysat. In fact, she felt the roles were quite reversed if babysitting were at question.

            “Okay.” She followed him through a side exit. “It’s going to look shady that we’re leaving so soon before midnight. Just letting you know.”

            “That’s a risk I’m willing to take to get answers.”

            John was waiting by his car and didn’t even question Felicity’s presence. Instead, they all slid into the cop car and raced from the parking lot. John turned his scanner on and created distance between his car and the station.

            “Alright, so were there any parks of significance to you? Maybe you and your sister liked to play at one in particular?”

            “We’re not trusting the previous search?”

            “Let’s just say my faith in my precinct isn’t so high right now.”

            Oliver sat up. “There was this one near the docks called “Bayside Park” and that was where I met Ray Palmer. He was getting picked on by a bunch of assholes and I helped him out. Do you think that could be something?”

            “Ray is being held for anger management at a clinic, so I’m not sure how much he could have to do with this, but we’ll definitely check that out.”

            “Wait, what?” Felicity squeaked from the back.

            “He’s had several outbursts and needs to be appropriately treated.”

            The park was, as Diggle suspected, completely empty. Oliver sighed as he smacked his phone. Felicity resisted the urge to smack him for abusing technology, but was more interested in what his frustrations were.

            “What?”

            “He keeps texting me.”

            “Who?” Diggle and Felicity both asked.

            “Who ever this is. Who ever is doing all of this.”

            “What’s it say?”

            _“Think childhood, Ollie. Midnight.”_

            “How many times did he send it?” Diggle asked.

            “…11?”

            “Not only is that super excessive, but that’s got to have relevance, right?” She asked. “Any memories from age 11?”

“Or from 11 years ago?”

            Oliver pursed his lips. “I don’t… I haven’t been to a park since I was like 10.”

            “You’re trying to tell me you weren’t the kid who made out with girls on the sliding board or anything along those lines?”

            Diggle snorted. “It is kind of hard to believe you haven’t been to a park in 14 years.”

            “I mean, aside from parties or whatever.”

            “A party? What party?”

            11:50 was screaming in his ears. 10 minutes. He had 10 minutes to save his family and the police were doing almost nothing. He shoved away thoughts of a scared Moira, broken Robert and helpless Speedy. She was too good for this world. God, if he could, he’d replace their circumstances in a heartbeat.

            “My graduation party was across town at Arco park. My dad got in a pretty big fight with one of his colleagues that day. I was so mad at him for keeping up that persona… For never letting it go even just once. He was always the businessman and _then_ a father, maybe.”

            “That doesn’t have anything to do with your being 11, though?”

            “It was my fifth grade graduation party.”

            “I forget you’re rich as shit sometimes.” Diggle muttered as he hit the gas with everything he had.

            “It’s quiet.” Felicity whispered when they stopped about 9 minutes later. Oliver had been cursing and kicking the dashboard while Diggle and Felicity pretended they couldn’t hear the approaching tears in his voice.

            He shoved himself out of the car, patience be damned and began shouting into open darkness. Felicity stayed in the car and watched the muted version on display as Diggle slowly turned him away from the nothing he was worked up over. She watched her phone change to midnight and the second it did, she got out of the car and joined Diggle beside Oliver on the ground.

            “I’m really sorry, man. I thought… I thought there was a chance… Apparently they did search all these parks.”

            “I just- I was so mad at my dad. I was annoyed with my mom. The last conversation I had with Thea was about how I didn’t want to come over for dinner. If I had-”

            “-You’d be with them.” Felicity gently massaged his shoulder. “And I, along with many other people, am glad you’re not.”

            “We’re gonna get them.” Diggle affirmed. “That I’m sure of.”

            Oliver wiped harsh tears that snuck from his eyes and clutched his knees with all his might, turning his face down.

            “Need a moment?” She asked softly and he nodded ever so slightly.

            “We’ll be in the car if you need us.” Diggle hopped to his feet and got in the front seat as Felicity climbed in the back.

            “I’m sorry, Dad. I’m sorry I wasn’t everything you wanted me to be. I’m sorry I was too stubborn to even try.” He sniffled. “And mom, I made everything that much more difficult for you. I never acknowledged your struggles and your strength… I was weak. I am weak.”

            He had to wipe his drenched face before allowing the thought of Thea’s bright smile to cross his face.

            “Speedy…” It came out like a whisper. “I promised, the moment you were born, that I’d be the best big brother ever… That I’d protect you. Instead, I failed you. I am so… I am so sorry.”

            Diggle and Felicity averted their eyes as the man shook with an overwhelming onslaught of emotions. It took everything in her not to kick open the car door and drape her entire being over him. Maybe she would later, but right now, when his moment was clearly needed, she had to stay off.

            “I haven’t seen any reports of violence nearby.” She murmured.

            “No gunshots?”

            “No.”

            “Kidnapping?”

            “None.”

            “Screams?”

            “Nope.”

            “That’s weird. He said meet him by midnight and it’s 12:05. Dude hasn’t even texted Oliver yet and believe me, he strikes me as the taunting type.”

            “OH MY GOD!” She yelled, causing Diggle to jump and bump his head on the roof of the car.

            “God dammit, Felicity, don’t you know not to scare a police officer?”

            “Dig, John, Officer Diggle, I think the Queen’s are still alive.”

            “What’s going on?” A red-faced Oliver peaked into the car.

            “I can’t believe I haven’t thought of it.” Felicity zoomed in on a video camera she’d attached to the satellite she captured occasional control over (nothing this intense usually; she just liked watching falling stars up close).

            “What?”

            “Come by midnight.”

            “Yeah, I know, Felicity.”

            “Well, there’s still time.”

            “What? Because daylight savings or...?”

            “No, because Midnight is a _street_ not a time. And what’s one block from Midnight boulevard?”

            “The old Queen amusement park.” Oliver and Diggle both finished.


	30. Twilight of the Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver expected his life to change that evening, but not like this.

            They stopped about a block away from the amusement park, wary of getting too close and being spotted. The rest would have to be accomplished on foot. It didn’t matter to Oliver. It was only more time for him to process what he was going to do to the son of a bitch that had his family.

            “Why here? What started here?” Felicity wondered aloud.

            “Years back, Robert Queen funded an amusement park chain. It was supposed to be efficient and environmentally friendly, but the rides were unsound and some kids died on the wooden rollercoaster.”

            “I remember.” Oliver said tersely and as he thought harder on it, his anger simmered into simple fear. “I was there that day. He was my friend. It was the day I decided never to follow in my father’s footsteps. He cut so many corners… Ruined lives.”

            “The park had to close and the Queen’s lost millions over the law settlements. Your dad should have-”

            “-Went to jail, I know. It was all Merlyn’s idea. He set my dad up so that this would fail and Merlyn’s company would be top of the food chain.”

            “Do you think that’s who’s behind all of this?” Felicity asked.

            “No. He’s been dead for years. Besides, this has to be someone who’s out for blood against my family.”

            “You mean…”

            “Yeah, this is Jimmy Cameron’s family’s doing.” Oliver ran a hand over his face.

“He was a friend of Tommy and mine, someone we’d known since we were kids. We went on the rollercoaster and sat behind Tommy and me. The harnesses weren’t fastened properly and he was done after the first loop.”

            “I’m so sorry… You never…” Felicity trailed off. “It wasn’t your fault and you don’t deserve this. I can’t imagine what kind of pain his family went through, but that does _not_ make any of this okay. Oliver, are you hearing me?”

            Oh, if she only knew. Would she see him differently? Maybe not, but he wasn’t going to lose her tonight. Not like this.

            “I hear you, but that doesn’t mean I can just let them hold my family hostage.”

“Oliver, man, you realize I’m going to have to call for backup, right?”

            “You could get suspended.” Oliver’s voice was hollow and truthfully, he refused to put Diggle’s life at risk for his own past mistakes, for his own family’s mistakes.

            “Lives are on the line. That’s a risk I’m willing to take. Point is, I can’t let you go in there by yourself. More importantly, I can’t let you go in there by yourself, unarmed, and unprotected.” Diggle was an honorable man. Oliver wasn’t sure how he didn’t see through the façade that he could ever simply be a trainer at a gym. The man practically wore loyalty and courage around his neck. He deserved better than to allow himself to get entangled with a family as corrupt as Oliver’s was.

            “I have to save my family, Diggle. Besides, I can protect myself.”

            “Really? Because the way those Mirakuru freaks took you down a while back says otherwise, now doesn’t it?”

            Oliver only scowled and swung the car door open and stepped out into the cool night. He was right. Maybe he wouldn’t walk away from this an alive man, but the past could only stay that way for so long and tonight was the climax of the repressed.

            “Really? You left the doors unlocked?” Felicity frowned, but wasted no time in climbing out to hurry after him.

            “Felic-” Diggle started and groaned as he, too, had to step out into the lethal night. First, he radioed for assistance and reported their location. He was not about to let Oliver Queen go down due to stupidity.

            “Hey!” Felicity reached out and grabbed his arm and turned him towards her. “I know you’re upset, but that doesn’t mean you get to go play vigilante justice and try to go head-to-head against criminals.”

            “Upset? Upset would be if I lost my job. Upset would be if my girlfriend cheated on me and as a result I lost my best friend in life too. Upset would be if I got shot and then had to witness said ex and best friend’s engagement before my eyes. But my family? Felicity, my fucking family could be dead! Don’t patronize me with your moral codes!”

            His assault of woes didn’t seem to faze her in the slightest.

            “No, Oliver. Your going in there recklessly could get them killed, because you would be giving him everything he wants! It’s giving up. You need to stop giving up.”

            “Everyone has been quitting on me! Everything has been quitting on me. How is reclaiming what’s mine giving up? It sounds like you want me to give up.”

            “I have not quit on you! Diggle has not quit on you!” She pointed to the police officer. “Moira and Thea haven’t quit on you. Yeah, your life is different now, but getting yourself killed isn’t going to change any of the shitty things that have happened!”

            He looked down at her sadly. “And when he kills them when the police arrive? Felicity, there isn’t any other way. As much as you want there to be there just isn’t. I need to atone for my father’s mistakes and if that means saving my family than so be it. You can’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same thing if it were your mother.”

            “I’d like to think I would take a second to think and not just go into something blind and without any help!” She could feel herself losing the battle set before them. He was going to do what he wanted and neither she or Diggle could stop him. She knew what he was trying to do was probably noble, but there was a fine line between bravery and stupidity and the greater part of her felt it was the ladder.

            “Please don’t do this.” She tried one last time whilst also praying it wouldn’t be the last time she talked him out of something. For some reason, senior week rushed through her mind when a drunk Oliver and Tommy were balancing on the ledge of a bridge and Felicity broke down crying, begging them to come down before they got themselves killed.

            He looked to Diggle. “I know you’ve contacted the police. If I’m not back in 20 then come in for me.”

            His gaze turned back to a teary eyed Felicity. “I want you safe out here.”

            “I want you safe too.” She sniffled, but indignation filled her voice as well, because if she couldn’t demand his safety than he sure as hell couldn’t promise hers.

            “I know.” He nodded and before he could turn away, she quickly grabbed his face and brought their mouths together. Instinctually, he wrapped his arms around her waist and she could feel the despair in her own trembling lips, but wondered if any of the sadness came from him. If he was going to go through with this, she couldn’t stop him. For if he didn’t, Oliver would carry the intense guilt of having not done anything and live a life of torment. She didn’t like it, but she had to let him fight his own battles.

            She was shocked to feel familiar yet foreign words bubble to her lips. Instead of saying them, she repressed in fear of only saying them because it was life or death. Even the thought of those three words shocked her core. Sure, there’d been a lot of rising feelings over the past few months, but the word “love” hadn’t crossed its way into her conscious thought. There were underlying signs, but she was sure she wasn’t anywhere near the admission stage. She struggled with the idea of living without him ever knowing, but she refused to destroy the sanctity of the words in the name of death and sadness.

            Oliver looked at her with the same reverence, as if he was having an internal debate as well. Despite the world falling apart all around him, she was here in front of him. That spoke volumes.

            “Come back to me.” She said instead and he only nodded.

            “I will.” It sounded hopeful but empty at the same time.

            And before either could take a moment to relish in the epitome of emotions, Oliver turned and disappeared into the night, leaving a crying Felicity to Diggle’s arms. The police would arrive soon enough, but for now, the only thing his two friends could do was wait.

 

* * *

 

            Millions of memories of only a day flushed over Oliver’s mind as if he was reliving it to the fullest degree. He almost couldn’t see right in front of him, because he was so blinded by the past. Perhaps that was a reoccurring behavior for him, because Felicity seemed to think the past crippled Oliver into becoming what he could. She might have been right, but drowning in the past was easier than swimming forward. Besides, submerging himself would save the ones he loved and he tried to use that as good reason for continuing this lifestyle.

            The mixture of the blurry image of Jimmy Cameron’s lifeless body against the rough cement, the head rush of the instable rollercoaster as it came down from its first loop, and the mix of gasps and screams that haunted the air was sensory overload for him. Familiar guilt found its way back to the center of his chest in a way he’d long forgotten since he was young. Not only did Jimmy never get to see his father again, but Oliver’s relationship with his own was never repaired. Sure, Robert Queen rushed production instead of going through the necessary means of checking for security, but Oliver and his friends had been stupid. The boys dared each other to unclick their seatbelts after the ride set off, relying only on the overlapping shoulder bars. They thought they were badasses and certainly paid the price for it. Well, at least Jimmy did.

            Oliver closed his eyes and forced that awful carnival music from his head and instead found the miserable tone of his father’s voice. After the scandal and after the prank had been revealed, it could be argued that that was the moment the Queen family tore apart, along with Moira and Robert’s marriage. With age, each of them grew resentful of one another, with the exception of Thea.

            Thea.

            Thea was nothing but an innocent bystander in all of this madness. She wasn’t perfect, but she was his baby sister and he’d be damned if he didn’t fulfill the promise he made when he was but 9 years old and holding a baby girl in his arms. He would protect her to the ends of the earth and that promise wouldn’t waver tonight. He’d do just about anything.

            Lights flickered on around him and for the first time in about a decade, music blared through out the empty wonderland. It truly illuminated the once forgotten nightmares that Oliver left in a few rather progressive sets of therapy sessions that he’d never told a soul about. He felt like he was exploring his own greatest fears and glanced up at the deadly rollercoaster. At the top, where the ride began, three shrouded figures waited. Two were inside one of the carts and it was easy to predict who those two were.

            Without hesitation, Oliver made his way to the ride entrance and climbed up the rickety winding steps. The years decayed the entire setting of the park and added an unmistakable hue of grayness all around, sucking all the potential color and joy out of what Oliver used to think was a pipe dream. Instead, it was a money-fueled nightmare that festered on pain and suffering. If there was ever a man Oliver hated more than his father it was Malcolm Merlyn.

            He met the top without loss of breath, but still felt a punch in the stomach at the sight of the alive and tied up Moira and Thea. Neither looked so terrified in their lives and Oliver bit back blame and guilt for the time being. The only man truly responsible was the man in front of him, but for some reason, knowing it was the mourning and pained father took away some of the blow.

            “Alright, Mr. Cameron.” He fell into old habits as he warily observed the area. Thea and Moira were tied up, but not to the ride. Neither had seatbelts or overhead safety bars on. The ride was clearly revved up and it was apparent what kind of fate their kidnapper had in store for them.

            “Ollie!” Thea tried to speak out against the gag that prevented coherent speech.

            “It’s okay, Speedy. Mr. Cameron is going to let you go.”

            Moira mumbled something in a shriek-like tone that Oliver could understand for the life of him.

            “I know you’ve got me surrounded.” Oliver nodded at the hidden gunmen displayed in every nook and cranny of the plateau. “I thought we were doing this alone.”

            “No, you’re all alone.” A modulated voice echoed while a man dressed in a green hood arose from the shadows.

            “I know you miss your son. I miss him too. I’m so sorry… I can’t… I can’t imagine what its like to lose someone the way you did.”

            There was a pregnant pause and for a moment, Oliver believed he’d gotten to him, but instead the man slowly pulled down the hood in the depths of the shadows, still cascaded in darkness where Oliver couldn’t see his grief or ensure identification.

            “I did lose my son that day. And it was your fault, but I’m not who you think I am.”

            “You’re a father.” Oliver swallowed. “A father who’s son would be very disappointed him right now.”

            “Oh, would he now?” And suddenly the voice was gone and so was the masquerade. Looking back at Oliver through sharp daggers and smeared green paint was none other than his own father.

            So taken back in surprise, Oliver doubled backwards until he felt the cold tip of a gun pressed into his back. His mouth fell open and he could probably guess that his entire being was shaking with fear.

            A wicked smile spread across Robert Queen’s lips. Thea and Moira were now sobbing at the rough revelation that Oliver had to endure the same as them.

            “Dad?”

            “We had it all.” He clenched his first. “And you crushed it.”

            “Me?” Oliver couldn’t find a proper place of speech and was still leaning against the gunman behind him as a service of unorthodox support.

            “My possibility of an empire, my relationship with your mother, you and Thea’s love… It was all gone because you decided to play a prank and chance death. You took everything from me and then went ahead and blamed me for it all!”

            “You’re insane, Robert.” How Moira got her gag off was beyond Oliver, but he was glad she found the strength he couldn’t and was speaking directly at the man they once knew and loved.

            “Am I? I’ve been spending the past few years trying to right my wrongs and save this city, expecting and receiving no gratification, but it didn’t work. I didn’t get anything back! All I got was an empty mansion, estranged children, and a divorce attorney.”

            “And you think _this_ will help? You think putting the mother of your children and your baby girl in danger will make your son love you again? You think it’ll get you back the old success of the company? You think I’ll renew my vows with you?”

            “Shut the fuck up, Moira! Don’t play me like I’m the only villain. Tell Ollie who Thea’s father really is. Tell him who took you to bed 18 years ago!”

            Oliver helplessly looked to his mother for denial, for more venomous words that derailed Robert’s entire stance. He looked for support, for guidance, and for trust. Instead, he found guilt in her tearful eyes.

            “Mom?”

            “I’m so sorry, baby.” Whether she was talking to him or Thea was to be left for interpretation, but without saying a single thing, Oliver somehow knew just who her affair was with.

            “No.”

            “That’s right!” Robert almost cheered. “Malcolm Merlyn. If I hadn’t already killed him than he’d be right here alongside your mother and Thea. All of the mistakes I’ve made. The biggest I ever made was believing I could be happy.”

            “So what? You’re going to kill them, because of what you’ve done wrong?”

            “No. I’m going to kill them to kill my past. It seems you and I have a lot in common, because you won’t let go either. I refuse to be that man anymore. I refuse to be someone that lets their past dictate them. In order to do that, I need to eliminate the memories… For good.”

            “You said if I came, they’d live. Take me instead.” Oliver begged through a rush of tears.

            “No!” Moira cried.

            “I said if you didn’t come, I’d kill them _both_. Say what you want, Ollie, but I’m a man of my word. Technically, I only need one of them dead for now. So, choose.”

            “Choose.”

            “I recommend choosing the one who means the most to you, because otherwise, that would fall rather flat.”

            “I’m going to kill you!” He shouted, but when tried to rush forward, guns surrounded him.

            “Try anything and you all go.” He spat. “Besides, if you killed me, that wouldn’t make us very different now would it?”

            Oliver stared intently at the man who raised him and could barely register that it was actually him. For some reason, his eyes set on his father’s and could only see blackness along with remnants of blood around them.

            “Mirakuru.” He muttered. “Were you injected with Mirakuru?”

            “That’s-”

            “-This isn’t you.” Oliver begged. “Dad, this isn’t you. You’re under the influence of a drug that inhibits all chances of normality and logic and instead amplifies your worst emotions. Disappointment becomes resentment, anger becomes fury, and heartbreak becomes bitterness. There’s no good in it. It makes you act irrationally.”

            “Why do you think I asked Mr. Palmer to be his test subject? I needed the edge to help fight the scum of this city, but it became more than that. It turned into a fight for what I deserve.”

            “If you think your wants are bigger than this city’s than you never were saving anyone!”

            “And neither are you if you keep talking.”

            “Wait!” Moira cried. “I won’t let this guilt destroy my son.”

            “Mom-”

            “-I won’t let my daughter fall for me-” She slowly stood up and made direct fiery eye contact with her husband. “And I won’t let you win. I love you both.”

            “What are you doing?” Thea shrieked as she was torn from the car and dropped to the floor beside Oliver, who only pulled her tightly into the crook of his neck.

            “How honorable.” Robert deadpanned. “I guess I married you for a reason.”

            The button was pressed and Oliver was knocked out as he tried to move forward and rescue his mother as well. Before completely losing consciousness, all he heard was a shrill scream and police sirens flood the scene accompanied by gunshots.

           


	31. Lost Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver thought his life had bottomed out 6 months ago when he’d broken up with Laurel and lost his job. Now, with the guilt and despair over losing both his parents, he doesn’t know where he is or where he’s supposed to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

            _“Where is dad always going at night?”_

_“What do you mean, Oliver?”_

_“He used to come home for dinner every night. Remember? He seemed… He seemed happy here.”_

_“He is happy here, sweetie.”_

_“You seemed happy too.”_

_“As long as I have you and Thea, I am happy.”_

* * *

 

            “There wasn’t a woman like my mother. Hell, there wasn’t a single person like my mother. She was calculative, shrewd, and relentless while also caring, passionate, and brave. She made way more sacrifices than I’ll ever even understand… or deserve.” Oliver cleared his dry throat and looked out at the group of familiar faces, all dressed in black, as they huddled under umbrellas of the same shade. He couldn’t make out many of them as a result of the rain that cloaked them as well as his own despair blinding him. It was cold for May, but it was never too dreary for Starling City. He didn’t accept an umbrella when offered to him and instead spoke out through the cool pounding against his skin and suit. It gave him semblance of what it was like to feel again, because the past week he’d felt numb and incognizant.

            “It’s so sad that we often don’t notice at what great lengths the people who love us go to until they’re gone, because we’re all too busy looking from our own perspective. We’re too concerned with seeing how the world hurt us, how we were wronged and how no one did enough to prevent us from feeling such pain. The truth of the matter is my mom did her damn best to shield Thea and I from sorrow, but I was too blind to see that. She didn’t even care. She didn’t care that she never got a thank you for the sacrifices she made, because that isn’t what she was about. She was about getting the job done regardless of if’s, and’s, or but’s. She loved us through and through and it didn’t matter what we thought of her, because it couldn’t strip away all she’d done and how she felt. I wish I had the vitality of my mom. I’m sure we all do, because God, we could use it to get through life without her. When I see her again, the first thing I’m going to tell her, after “I love you”, is to thank her.”

* * *

 

_“Mom… I have to tell you something.”_

_“You know you can always talk to me, baby.”_

_“This isn’t… This isn’t going to be something you want to hear and I’m gonna be honest. I contemplated on never telling you, because… Well, I don’t want you to get hurt.”_

_“What is it?”_

_“Sit down.”_

_“Oliver.”_

_“Dad’s cheating on you.”_

_“…”_

_“You don’t look surprised.”_

_“Please don’t tell Thea, Oliver.”_

_“You knew?”_

* * *

 

            He could feel pained eyes upon him, but he turned around and looked down at the freshly dug grave that was already being drowned by the unfortunate weather that attacked. In neat and elegant letters, Moira Queen’s name was engraved in the gray stone. She would have liked it, if it were even possible to really be all that crazy about gravestones. Carrying her casket out through the sloppy mud was still one of the worst feelings he’d ever experienced. He had help, but somehow it still felt like he was bearing the entire weight upon his shoulders and it took him back to when he started working out in sophomore year of high school and kept trying to pick his mother up for demonstration of strength. She never let him, but that didn’t mean he never succeeded. He snorted at the memory of the expression she gave him; followed by the fact that she chased him around the lower level with a dishrag after that. The bright spots only ever seemed illuminating in times of darkness, but he wouldn’t trade them away anyway.

            Beside her, was an empty plot ready for Robert Queen whenever the police were done using his body for evidence. Oliver and Thea had done their best to try and separate the two graves, considering they were separated when they died… Oh, and Robert was the one that killed Moira. However, because the plots were purchased in both their names and the funds that Thea and Oliver acquired were still temporarily frozen, that wasn’t going to happen.

 

* * *

 

            _“Why do you even stay with him?”_

_“Because it’s the right thing to do?”_

_“Why? Because you don’t have a job? Because you don’t have his money? You don’t have to live with that creep. He cheats on you, mom!”_

_“We’re getting through it.”_

_“No, you are. He doesn’t give a damn about you and you’re just sitting in your fake fantasy, pretending we live happily ever after in the hampton’s. Newsflash: we don’t.”_

_“If you had a little girl and a boy in high school, you’d understand.”_

_“What kind of example is this supposed to set for Thea? Stay by your man and let him do whatever the hell he wants just so you can have a nice shallow life of fake happiness?”_

_“You are not the parent here, Oliver. I am, and I know what I’m doing. This is not your burden to bear.”_

_“You’re just making us all sit in this empty, hollow house so you can go on a shopping spree every so often.”_

_“Oli-”_

_“-You’re the worst parents ever.”_

 

* * *

 

            He hadn’t even noticed the small-framed young woman approach him, one hand barely noticeable on his back.

            “I think its okay.” Thea swallowed. Wet hair framed her small face, which to him, barely changed since they were small. How was she being so strong? Here she was, 16 years old and she’d lost both her parents on the same night. She seemed unbreakable while he was breaking in several halves at once.

            “What’s okay?”

            “The fact that they’re gonna be together.” People still stood behind them expectantly, but respectfully waited for the two to have their moment.

            He didn’t answer, because he sharply disagreed. However, if Thea somehow found peace, he’d allow her to have it.

            “Because the Robert Queen we knew, the one that raised us, loved us, and cherished us, didn’t do this. A drugged maniac did. Now the real parents we knew are going to be reunited. I don’t think mom would have it any other way.”

            Oliver clenched his fists, refusing himself to argue and upset her, because honestly? What was the point in bringing up the fact that Robert’s drug-induced self was just an exaggerated version of himself. The drugs gave him the courage to do what he’d always wanted, to become who he always wanted. He broke his family and then blamed the very people he hurt for reacting. In that, he decided to kill, to permanently erase his mistakes. Oliver pulled Thea to him to remind himself that he hadn’t completely won.

 

* * *

 

_“How could you?”_

_“Hello, son! How was my 16 hour flight? Just fine, thanks for asking. Thanks for putting bread on the table and supporting you despite the fact that you refuse to cut your hair or try at math? You’re very welcome-”_

_“-Cut the bullshit.”_

_“Watch your mouth.”_

_“Maybe you should watch yours first!”_

_“… Where’d you get those?”_

_“You didn’t exactly hide them. I guess you forgot to bring them to your little mistress in Japan. It was smart, having an international girlfriend. This way you could completely lead a double life without the fear of your two women bumping into each other.”_

_“It’s not what you think.”_

_“Really? So she’s just bent this way because she’s taking naked yoga?”_

_“Put them down!”_

_“How could you do this to mom? To Thea and I? Don’t you even care?”_

_“Of course I care, son, but sometimes guys like us can’t just settle for one good thing. We were put on this earth to do many things, accomplish every goal. When you take over the company someday, you’ll see that some guys have cake, some guys just eat, and other guys get to eat the cake and still have love.”_

 

* * *

 

            “Okay.” Was all he said. Thea just needed her big brother. Oliver just didn’t have the heart to rip on the girl’s dad, or at least the image she created in her head to cope with the death of both her parents. No, he’d let her live in a world where Robert succumbed to drugs and lost himself in the high, not the one where evil simply absorbed him. He’d rather bear that burden alone than force her to walk beside him through that darkness. She deserved peace of mind.

            It didn’t take long for everyone to disperse and make their way to the luncheon if they decided to attend. Oliver found himself going through the same motions with every single mourner: thanking them for coming, listening to some drawn out story about his mother and how she affected them, answering the question of what was going to happen to Thea, thanking them for offering to help, and politely excusing himself to go continue the cycle with another.

            He could tell Thea was going through the same thing, but since she was still a kid, she was spared of some of the more gruesome talk about Robert, but Oliver didn’t have the luxury of shielding out such conversation. Namely Moira’s side of the family bitterly referenced the man with disdain, promising Oliver he was nothing like him even though he hadn’t asked.

            The monotony was interrupted when Tommy Merlyn cautiously approached him.

            “I’m just here to pay my respects.” He said quietly. “Your mom was like a second mother to me when we were kids.”

            Oliver was just too exhausted to be mad at him right now, to be bitter. Honestly, this tragedy was bigger than him and he didn’t see fit that he cooperate with drama at his own mother’s funeral. It just wasn’t right. He reached out and shook his hand.

            “She did ground us both when we were in seventh grade and tried to take turns hanging each other up the middle school flagpole.”

            He smiled. “I’d say we deserved it.”

            “I’d say you’re right.”

            There was a beat before he shuffled his feet awkwardly. “Look man, I really am-”

            “-Tommy.” Oliver held up a hand and closed his eyes.

            “… Right. This isn’t the place to try and right my wrongs.”

            “Where is Laurel?”

            “She broke down when she heard about your mom. She’s trying to work through the case actually with the police. You know, end it as smoothly as possible.”

            It was hard to imagine that wasn’t possible, considering it was an extremely open and shut case. It wasn’t like anyone was going to have to do any jail time. Robert tried to attack the police and one gunshot brought him down. At least, that’s the story Diggle told Oliver after he’d regained consciousness at the police department. It was entirely possible that it was more gruesome, but he decided to spare graphic details out of sympathy for Oliver.

            “I appreciate it. She’s always trying to save the world, isn’t she?”

            “Yeah.” Tommy nodded. “It’s admirable.”

 

* * *

 

            _“I’m sorry I said all that to you earlier.”_

_“It’s okay.”_

_“No, Mom, it’s not okay. You can’t just… You can’t just let people walk all over you. You don’t have to. If you divorced Dad, you’d get money.”_

_“Is that what you think this is about?”_

_“Isn’t it?”_

_“I wouldn’t get as much as I would if I stayed.”_

_“But you might be happy… Find real love.”_

_“Oh Oliver, “real” love doesn’t exist. It’s impossible not to hurt the people you claim to love, to fall out of love, or to lose your prospects. Love is a fairytale my dear, and living in a story is no way to live. You have to do your best to find the closest thing to happiness and make sacrifices to do so.”_

_“How can you say that?”_

_“You have to make yourself happy. You can’t let anyone else be that for you, because that’s what love is. Love is supposed to be giving all of yourself and having it eat you up until there’s nothing left of you and expecting you to be happy about it. Unless you’re a masochist and enjoy being hurt over and over again then it isn’t real. You can try to find something close and boring, but nothing will ever entice you as much as constant heartbreak. And how is breaking someone’s heart a sign that you love them? We Queen’s are damned.”_

 

* * *

 

            “Hey.” A soft voice came from behind him. He’d been sitting at the bar for about twenty minutes, staring into his class in disdain. It killed him to think how right his mother was. It killed him to feel any remnants of his hopes being washed away.

            He turned around to see Felicity in a dress with long sleeves and dark stockings to match. She plopped down beside him and ordered herself a drink and he nodded weakly at the gesture of accompanying him.

            “That was some eulogy.” He’d forgotten she was there, but then again, she rode with him to the graveyard. He’d been floating through life lately, hardly paying attention to his surroundings.

            “Thanks.”

            “You don’t blame yourself, do you?”

            He sighed. “Of course I do. Had I listened to you and Dig-”

            “-Then that means you wouldn’t have tried. You made the right call. You saw how that place was rigged.”

            “Somehow not being at fault really doesn’t make me feel any better. The only man I can blame is dead which leaves me with no closure whatsoever. Life just doesn’t give you the kind of endings you want.”

            “She sacrificed herself for you and Thea, because she wanted you to get the endings you want, or at least to try for them.”

            A part of him knew she was right, somewhat because Felicity was typically right, but also because that sounded like a reason his mother would have. Even so, Oliver wanted to sit on his own guilt for a while, give himself an answer to the madness of it all. It was actually better than drowning in confusion and being unable to pinpoint a living problem. He supposed he could be like Thea and strive to push for Mirakuru to get off the streets, give himself a purpose, but he really didn’t feel like he had any that would work out for him.

            “You know what I keep thinking about?” He asked after several minutes of silent drinking. Had he been in a better state of mind, he’d wonder how she made it so long without talking.

            “Hmm?”

            “I keep thinking about the day I found out my Dad was cheating on my Mom.”

            “How’d you find out?”

            “I found some naked pictures of one of his international girlfriends. See, my Dad was constantly travelling because of the business and would be away for weeks at a time. So, instead of sending letters or video calling like he used to, he found his warmth and comfort in various reliable women all over the world.”

            “Oh, Oliver… Were you young when you found them?”

            “15… Had it been any other context I might have been excited to find them. I don’t know if it happened before that. Neither was too keen on telling me. We all just lived this life of denial and ignorance. I was the only one who ever pointed it out for what it was.”

            “That must have been… cold.”

            “I’m almost surprised we didn’t freeze over.” Oliver shook his head. “You know what my Dad told me when I called him out for it?”

            “What?”

            “He told me that guys like us were designed for everything in terms of “more”. We deserved more money, more happiness, more love. It was a matter of being created differently to him and he didn’t care that it was crushing everything he had to be proud of.”

            “So why’d your Mom stay?”

            “Because of us.” He sighed. “All these years I thought it was selfish spending or a means of tricking herself into convincing her she was happy, but when she gave herself up for Thea I realized the woman had never been selfish. She did her best to keep it together for all of us. Thea takes after that strength.”

            “You’re strong too.” She gently rubbed his back. “Oliver, you are currently going through hell and you’re still putting on a brave face.”

            “Is it convincing?”

            “Well, I just know you really well.” She smiled faintly and he followed suit.

            “One of the reasons my Mom did a pretty good job at staying with my Dad was she convinced herself that true love didn’t actually exist, not for us anyway. The Queen’s are apparently damned, because we can’t resist the call of heartbreak. Apparently everything else fails in comparison.”

            Felicity stared at him intently. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”

            “We _do_ seem pretty damned.”

            “It’s been a bad year, but that doesn’t mean this is your infinity. It can only be that way if you let it.”

            “Felicity, I just feel like my head is spinning in every direction and I… I just don’t know where I’m at with anything…” She knew he was telling her that he wasn’t ready for a relationship, which was fine considering his mother and father just passed away in a very unfortunate manner. It was life changing, but she was terrified that it would change him for worse.

            “I just don’t want you to drown.” She took his hand. “You’re my friend above anything else and even though you’ve probably heard this overworked sentence about a million times today, if there’s anything you need, I’m here for you.”

            He squeezed her hand in return. “Thank you.”

            She leaned over and kissed his cheek and with that, left him to his drink in peace.

            Said peace didn’t last too long though, because it wasn’t long before more relatives and family friends found and cornered him into discussing a combination of depressing stories and more disclaimers about him being anything like his father.

            “You do look like _him_ , but…”

            “Wow, you do sound like _him,_ but…”

            “You know, you do act like _him_ sometimes, but…”

            “You’re running a business of sorts _too_ now, huh?”

            Of course, as much as the comparisons were painful stabs of buried insecurities, the constant questioning was a lot worse.

            “Do you know anything about raising a teenage girl?”

            “What are you going to do with your parents money?”

            “Is there going to be a funeral for _him_ too?”

            “Why was it closed casket?”

            “How’d he do it?”

            “When are you going to get your life more… together?”

            “How’s Laurel doing?”

            God, he would jump out the nearest window if the entire restaurant wasn’t on the ground floor and at worst he would suffer from a scrape and a potential bruise. It seemed everyone was multiplying and the stress and anxiety from the past week was hitting him all at once like a big blast of PTSD. Suddenly, everything was overwhelming and overflowing with darkness and frantic panic. There was no way out and he was doomed to fail. He was going to let Thea down, ruin his mother’s legacy, continue fucking up his life, and all around just getting more lost.

            He excused himself and pushed past the determined crowd and found his way to the doorway where Felicity was putting her coat on.

            “I’m heading out… I’ll call you tomorrow to see… Oliver?”

            “I can’t… I see… I need…”

            “Hey, c’mere.” She pulled him into a tight hug and for the first time in so long, he let himself be held. If he didn’t, he doubt he would be able to stand properly. In fact, he could feel her small frame bending beneath his large build.

            “You’re burning up. Let’s cool you off.” She pulled him into the ladies bathroom and propped him against the sink before wetting a paper towel. He felt like he awoke from a trance when she placed the cool substance on his forehead. He wasn’t sure what it was about water, but it had a way of waking him up, revitalizing him. Sure, he felt the heavy weight of grief and bitterness, but he was seeing clear again and heat built up in his core at the thought of every step he had to make after this day. It would all be different since effectively almost everything he had was now lost to him. He knew he had to find his way back in some way, but for now, he wanted to wallow. He wanted to hurt and he wanted to grieve without question or pests. However, he didn’t want to be alone either.

            “Better?” Felicity asked and gently stroked his face.

            In a swift motion, Oliver stood up and took her face in his hands and establishing bruising contact between their mouths. She didn’t protest, hands moving up to his chest and cooperating with his rough tongue’s entrance into her own. She dug her nails into the back of his neck and he returned the favor by running his hands down to her ass, wasting no time in palming her tightly. She gasped in his mouth and he moved them backwards so they slammed against the bathroom door, messily attempting to get leverage over each other. She reached up and behind her to switch the lock on the door, which she found to be increasingly difficult with his mouth vigorously sucking at a sweet spot on her neck.

            Once clicked, she forcefully grabbed his face and pushed her mouth against his, biting at his lower lip and earning a rumbly groan from his throat. Oliver had been in an understandably dazed phase all week, barely blinking, moving or living for that matter. There was no spark in his eyes and no semblance of desire to accomplish or do anything. This was the first moment she’d seen anything besides sorrow in him. Sure, it was still evident, but so was the lust he felt for her. It controlled him and honestly, she’d rather have him pour all his grief into her physically than get lost in his own thoughts. She wanted him to feel good. She wanted him to feel.

            It felt like fire was coursing between them against the cool door, hearts racing as quickly as their hands searched upon each other, taking no moments to savor and just ravishing every second. It was a picture-perfect “world ending” moment, swallowing breaths and pushing themselves to get to the point without missing out on the agonizing pleasure of building up.

            He angled one of legs up so she was slanted against his groin. She groaned as she could feel him hard through his pants against her thigh. She pulled herself seemingly impossibly closer and thrust up and down fiercely against him. It was his turn to audibly react, but it was more of a murmur by the time she twisted her tongue against his.

            He ran a calloused hand up her leg, the smooth, but pesky texture of her stockings sharply contrasted the appeal his hands gave.

            “Fucking stockings.” He muttered, but evidently it wasn’t too much trouble for him, because soon his hand was under her dress and inside her stockings. Instead of caressing and massaging her as he normally moved, he frantically pressed against her clit, each time jolting her as his momentum increased. She grasped for his shoulders to keep her balance, but she was still shaking from the way he moved her. His hand worked almost in intense vibrations against her, making her throw her head back against the door with a “thud”. He took the opportunity to attack her neck again. He continues his frenzied movements, but slides so his palm rests against her clits and his fingers enter her heat. She doesn’t have him to silence her gasps thanks to the work he does on her neck. She feels herself leaving her mouth open, digging her fingers deeper into his shoulder blades and their strength sends her even more helpless to his touch, to the way he pushed her to the edge.

            The slight restriction of her stocking grew too frustrating for the man and he pulled them and her underwear down and off and threw them behind him. She swatted his hand away and practically ripped the button of his pants as he reached forward. As they had countless times before, she stuck her hand into his pants and retrieved him and like he had with her, wasted no time. She gave his length a few quick pumps, making him gasp in frustration before leading him over to her.

            Without much effort at all, Oliver lifted her so her legs were on either side of him, bare feet pushing against his ass. Her wet center rubbed against him in expression of desire and Oliver reached down to position himself before pushing into her. As he entered her, despite the euphoria it gave him, it brought out the animalistic emotions he felt all week: the anger, hate, fear, confusion, and sadness. It erupted from every one of his pores as he slammed into a welcoming Felicity. For a moment he just stared at her through icy eyes and she could see the many shades of pain that enveloped him as he pushed in and out of her with intensified vigor. He filled her with heat and passion and she felt truly connected to his grief, her own fit of emotions coming over her and increasing her thrusts against him. A hand slipped between them and rubbed her clit and she releases a guttural moan and he’s not playing around as he fucks her hard. His hips are magic despite their sloppy rhythm and his fingers are swirling around her clit just the way she likes. Neither could really breathe properly while they just consumed each other and nothing else. She swore she almost tastes blood against his mouth and despite his deep and forceful thrusts, she could feel his undoing beneath her. He slowed himself down just enough to apply more ample pressure to her clit and his swirling motion causes a sequence of pulsating waves to cycle through her. She gasps his name and the second she does brings him his undoing. Before long, they’re just in the same position, gasping and cooling down, letting the events wash over them.

           

 


	32. Backpedaling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regression is often a huge part of the grieving process.

Oliver watched as the moving men hauled his few things into the gigantic mansion that towered over him and Thea. Thea had her head held high as she always did and was appropriately attending therapy twice a week. She didn’t want to lose her mind in the process of losing her parents. That’s another reason Oliver deemed it fit that they move back into their childhood home. Sure, the memories were somewhat sullied given the events of the past few weeks, but it was the closest place either ever had to a home. Besides, now that their funds were unfrozen, both Oliver and Thea were filthy rich again. Oliver didn’t have any plans on what to do with the unnecessary amount of what he considered dirty money just yet, but he knew his conscience would bother him until he’d done something with it.

            “We should build a tree-house.” Thea murmured.

            “Hmm?” Oliver turned to her. Their conversations were limited despite spending more time together for the past few weeks than they had in ages, but it felt like there were oceans between them at this point.

            “We always wanted one, but Dad would never budge. I think he was afraid you’d climb too high and break your neck.”

            Ironic how Robert Queen feared losing his son to a broken neck, but would eventually hold a gun to his head in years to come. Normally, the memory would warm Oliver, but it left him frozen.

            For Thea’s sake, he nodded, but even he could feel the lack of conviction in his movements. He was operating like some kind of robot and didn’t want to interact with or see anyone for extensive periods of time.

            “Do you go back to work this week?” The oceans weren’t mutual, because Thea was doing her best to pull Oliver out of the darkness that clocked him. She recommended he pencil therapy into his not-so-busy schedule, but Oliver solemnly declined her suggestion. He didn’t give a reason and he didn’t fight her. He was like an unmovable statue. She just hoped she wouldn’t lose him for good either.

            “I think I’m quitting.”

            “What? Ollie, I know we don’t exactly need to work, but you’ll go insane with nothing to do and all day ever day to do it.”

            “So I should dedicate that time to wiping sweat off of hairy assholes?”

            “I thought you did more than that. I thought you liked training people and-”

            “-It’s been different there ever since Slade got locked up for selling that Mirakuru bullshit.”

            “What about your friends? I think I’m going with Roy and a bunch of other people to the mountains this weekend if you want to come.”

            “Thea, I’m not desperate enough where I’m going to hang out with a bunch of high school kids. And I’m definitely not buying you booze.”

            “Thanks, but staying away from it.” She shrugged and placed a hand on his arm. “Ollie, we are at a very slippery slope right now… It’s not a good idea to do anything that’ll worsen what little stability we have left.”

            “You’re like a 60 year old trapped in the body of a 17 year old.” He faintly smiled. “But we all have our means of getting to the other side.”

            “Just as long as you get there.” With that, she disappeared into the mansion and Oliver didn’t dare to follow her. His legs felt heavier lately and the entire scape of the world had a gray hue that lacked luster or motivation. He knew these were signs of depression, but he felt he had every right to be depressed.

            After a number of brooding-filled moments, he forced himself to turn and enter the house. As suspected, a wave of hurt flooded over him as memories stabbed his brain and kicked his heart. Everything was _her_ and the second a happy memory appeared; _he_ dissolved it with violence and evil. Oliver couldn’t even bring himself to walk all the way up the stairs. Instead, he sat down about halfway up and massaged his temples.

            He wasn’t sure how long he stayed like that, but a knock at the door shook him from his paralysis. He got up and answered the door to see John Diggle on the other side. He was seeing the man, as he never had before. He wasn’t in uniform nor was he dressed like a trainer at the gym. Instead, John wore slacks and a t-shirt.

            “Hey, Oliver. I heard you were moving back into this old place and I figured I’d stop by and see how you’re doing.”

            “Oh, great!”

            Diggle cocked an eyebrow and it was clear he didn’t buy the act one bit. He’d seen a lot on the force and denial and acting were just a couple examples.

            “Oh really? Because I heard you put in your notice at the gym. And of course, by notice I mean you called and left a message at 3 am saying you wouldn’t be working today or ever.”

            Oliver shrugged. “It’s just not the right career path for me. So?”

            “So, don’t you know not to burn bridges? Or to make any rash decisions at 3 am?”

            “And yet here it is 4 pm and I still stand beside it.”

            “Look man, I know you saw a lot that night… Too much. I feel a weight of guilt myself for not going in with you-”

            “-You would have been-”

            “-Killed. I know the consequences of these types of situations, Oliver, and you’ve got to believe me when I say you can make it a lot worse.”

            “I don’t see how that’s possible.”

            “You’re under the delusion that you can just stop. Financially you’re great so you think you don’t have responsibilities, but you do. You have a responsibility to yourself and honoring your mother.”

            “Don’t talk about my mother.”

            “I won’t, but you need to.” Diggle all but begged. “See someone, talk to someone, find something to do. You need purpose, man. People are like sharks. They can’t stop or they die.”

            “Why do you care so much about what happens to me?”

            “Because despite how much you whined about your love life at the gym, I’d consider us friends.”

            Oliver smiled lightly and then after a moment cleared his throat. “Okay, yeah, I’ll think about it.”

            “That’s all I ask. Really think about it.”

            “I will.”

 

* * *

 

            Later that night, when Thea was asleep, Oliver decided he’d pondered enough about what Diggle had been telling him earlier. He would sign up to see someone for a session and see how he liked it. However, he’d also come to another decision.

            He needed a drink.

            So, he wandered his way into town and stopped at a dive bar unrecognizable to him. He almost turned around when he saw Laurel Lance sitting at the bar, staring venomously at a full shot glass. However, she’d seen him before his slow reflexes could scurry out. He nodded at her and sat at the end of the bar and ordered a drink.

            Beer tasted sour in the aftermath of tragedy but hard liquor gave him false hope and warmth, which though dangerous felt extremely satisfying given his current situation.

            “I’m sorry about your mom.” He didn’t turn to respond to the voice. Instead, he sipped his whiskey and let it burn for a moment before deciding whether or not to answer her. She didn’t deserve it, but he was lonely and despite his silence, wanted to say something to someone.

            “I heard you were working the case.”

            Laurel’s face relaxed when he said something to her. “Yeah, uh… I just wanted to make sure the fact that it was… Well, that it was your father, didn’t damage your chances at getting the money.”

            “Thank you.” He kept his eyes trained ahead.

            “I love your family, Oliver. Regardless what happened between us, they will always be important to me. You will always be important to me.”

            Oliver let her words simmer over him for a while, processing like a machine Felicity would babble on about. It amazed him that words that he’d hang onto months ago left a whole different taste in his mouth now. Now, he saw questions and speculations, all the reactions that are warranted after being deceived time and time again. He’d become jaded, but he liked the feel of it. He liked not being tricked and feeling closed to the pain, closed to the world.

            “Why are you here, Laurel?” He didn’t sound bitter nor angry, but genuinely curious. He knew she quit drinking at fear of becoming an alcoholic like her father, but he also knew this clearly spelled out a “weak point” for her. It didn’t bring him any satisfaction, but disappointment.

            “Tommy and I broke up and I… Well, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”

            “Thinking or drinking?”

            She glanced down to the glass in front of her. “I haven’t drank yet.”

            “Yet?”

            “I don’t know… I’m still contemplating.”

            “It doesn’t get to be written off as a loss of control if you’re this controlled about it.”

            “You’re probably loving this, aren’t you?” She sniffled. “I mean, we betrayed you in the worst ways possible. We went behind your back claiming in the name of love, but it wasn’t. It was lust and thrill.”

            “Tommy loved you.” Oliver sighed. “He did and I think you loved him. I thought you two fucked me up for a while there, but I’ve learned a few things since then.”

            “Like what?”

            “That there are things that can fuck you up much worse. For instance, watching your father kill your mother or trying to kill yourself out of loss of love.”

            “You didn’t…?”

            “I didn’t.” Oliver finally turned to face her and nodded at her glass. “But we both know that one sip of that will send you spiraling down a road you can’t come back from. You’ll regret it and you know it and if that’s not fucked up then I’m not sure what is.”

            Through teary eyes, Laurel gently picked up the shot glass and dumped its contents down the drain. She breathed heavily as she placed the glass down and looked over at Oliver with tear-stained cheeks.

            “I’m so sorry.”

            “I know.” He watched as she moved over to sit in next to him.

            “No, I mean, I’m sorry for hurting you so bad that you needed to find something worse to stop thinking about it.”

            But, Oliver’s newfound tragedy isn’t what stopped his thinking about Laurel and Tommy. No, the distracting intimacy he shared with Felicity pulled him away from that turmoil. That safe zone where nothing could happen too intensely for it to hurt. It was a shield from the outside world. It was a shield he needed to carry on.

            “Do you believe in love still?” He wasn’t sure why he asked, but he did. “After your parents divorce, our falling out, and now Tommy and you?”

            “I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Kind of makes it difficult doesn’t it?”

            “I just think the idea of giving our all into something puts us at too much risk for failure.”

            “And because humans are instinctively flawed, we’re almost doomed for it.”

            “But what I don’t understand is how there are so many happy people out there. What are they doing that we aren’t?”

            Laurel shrugged. “Not intentionally sabotaging every good thing that comes their way?”

            “Or maybe they’re faking it.”

            She pondered that. “I don’t think I could fake it.”

            “Me neither.” Oliver shook his head.

            “Maybe we should quit.”

            “Quit?”

            “Yeah. If we’re right and everyone else is faking themselves into believing in such a delusion and you and I are the kinds of people that suck at faking it, then maybe we should just stop.”

            “Stop and do what though? There’s got to be a void there.”

            “Stop and go for the next best thing.” And unfortunately for the two of them, they were each thinking about two different “next best things”. Laurel was thinking of Oliver and Oliver wasn’t thinking of “next best” in the realms of a person, but of a concept. Relationships were pointless. The next best thing wouldn’t contain the risks a real relationship had. It wouldn’t contain the pitfalls, obstacles, and horrors. It wouldn’t be life-ending, but it would be fun and meaningful. It was what he already had before.

            “I’ve got to go.” Oliver stood up just as Laurel was leaning towards him.

            “Go where?”

            “I’ve already got the next best thing.”

            Again, different thought processes, because while Oliver was going to tell Felicity that he just wanted to be sex-buddies again, Laurel somehow conjured the delusion that Oliver meant that Felicity _was_ his next best thing, meaning the best was her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that I'm done school I'll have loads of more time to post frequently again so prepare yourselves. I'd say we're at the last lap of the story, but there's gonna be a few chapters and an epilogue left for you all to sink your teeth into. As usual, thank you so much for enjoying my story and for your graceful patience. You guys are the best!


	33. Threshold Confrontations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver shares his new revelation with Felicity, but not before someone else does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to clear a few things up, since I've been getting a ton of messages concerning the validity of Oliver's feelings for Felicity and their relationship in this story. Some think the last chapter was setting our characters (particularly Oliver) about 50 steps back and I suppose in a way, yes, it does set them back. This chapter puts them back further, but make no mistake, Oliver does not view his relationship with Felicity or Felicity as the "next best thing" in comparison to Laurel or anyone else. No, Oliver's afraid of falling in love again due to the trials and tribulations he's both experienced and seen in his parents. He doesn't really think it exists at this point. No, what he's thinking is if he can't let himself fall over the edge again, he should just stay where he's at. Thus, making their situation "the next best thing". 
> 
> Is he being selfish? Yeah, because he's not at all considering what Felicity is going to say to this and thinks she should agree with him. However, Oliver is not a perfect man, a quality the show and my story have shown time and time again. He's going through a tremendous amount of grief and self-loathing where I'd say he deserves a bit of leeway. Not enough for Felicity to just excuse his actions or to go along with his every whim, but for sympathy, because he's coming from a place that's hurting. It's wrong, but it's true. 
> 
> I tried avoiding confusion and the responses I received, but if I didn't convey that properly than that's on me. Anyway, thank you for continuing to read and I apologize in advance for the angst ahead, in both this chapter and the upcoming.
> 
> -Q

            “No way? How is this possible?”

            “It seems your ex-fiancé has gone completely off the wall crazy and his board of directors don’t trust him with the company anymore.”

            “It’s really mine.”

            “Yes, ma’am. Turns out, they were really impressed with that bio-stimulant presentation.”

            She had to take a moment to sit down and absorb the information that her quick-talking friend had recently dropped on her. Then, a flash of warmth spread through her chest.

            “Curtis, if anyone deserves this seat, its you.”

            “Felicity, you had just as much to do with it as I did. Besides, I wasn’t the one without a job.”

            “Well, would you like a better, higher-paying job?”

            “Uh, always?”

            “Be my VP.”

            “You’re serious.”

            “Come on. I couldn’t have done this without you. Also, it’s kind of the least I can do. If the board loved me, they have to love you. You’re like male-me.”

            “Let’s be real, we have your insane ex to thank for this.”

            “I’ll make a note to send him flowers.”

            “I heard he’s been sent away for anger management. Apparently, he punched his last secretary in the jaw because she triggered some source of anger in him that got him out of seeing jail time.”

            Felicity sighed. Her interest in Ray had dwindled down to just wishing he’d get his act together and be okay, not for her, but for himself and apparently the wellbeing of those around him. He had issues that needed to be worked out, desperately.

            “They’re gonna change the name of the building and everything.”

            Felicity thought she was riding cloud nine. She felt a little bad how amazing of a turn her life had just taken when Oliver was up to the gutters in sadness. She hadn’t talked to him since the funeral, and even then it could be argued that the majority of their encounter didn’t involve talking, but she still worried for him. She couldn’t let the recent storm that took over the Queen’s drag her down, because her dream career was becoming reality and that was nothing to sneeze at.

            “Smoak Solutions.”

            “Brilliant.”

            A knock at the door interrupted her internal (and external actually) celebration. She told Curtis she’d call him back and went to answer it. She looked through the peephole to see Laurel Lance standing in her hallway. Okay, there were a lot of possibilities with this one, but none that really made any sense other than the small chance that she was looking for Oliver. However, that idea just put fear in Felicity. She was always afraid Oliver would backslide, especially at such a delicate time in his life.

            “Maybe she’s here for Sara?” Felicity mumbled to herself. Again, that scared her too, because how desperate would Laurel be to find either of them if she was willing to look here?

            Regardless, she opened the door and plastered the most convincing smile she could on her face. She supposed she had to improve that skill, because she was now a CEO of her own company. God, would that get old? No.

            “Hey Laurel?” She still couldn’t help the question in her tone, which was normal. It asked “why are you here?”, “is something wrong?”, and “how do you know where I live?” all in one sweep.

            “Hey, sorry for just dropping in like this, but I just think that as a former friend of yours, and someone who truly doesn’t want to see you getting hurt, that it was my duty to do so.”

            Okay, she was pulling all the stops. “Duty” and everything. Felicity’s guard was up and it was up high. Yeah, they were friends, but things change and people change. Neither of them were exactly the same person they were in high school. Felicity wasn’t the nerdy new girl in need of rescuing and Laurel wasn’t a gorgeous, cheerleading mercenary that did the saving. She was still gorgeous, but that wasn’t the point. She’d hurt Oliver and manipulated him in the same way Ray had with her, only more deceitful and tricky.

            “Is this city being attacked or something?” She attempted a joke, because the air was still and it haunted her. Not to mention the fact that there was this awkward “should I let her in” ringing through her head. She decided it’d be less awkward if she did and moved aside for Laurel to walk past her, but it never happened and everything suddenly got more uncomfortable.

            “I don’t think you’ll want me in there.”

            Was she going to kill her or something if she was?

            “Are you going to kill me or something?” Damn, she didn’t mean to say that out loud.

            “No! Of course not, but you may want to kill me.”

            Oh God, what did she do to him? She wasn’t sure what else Laurel could take from him considering his parents had both just died, but she was sure the woman before her would find a way. Felicity would be remiss if she said she didn’t notice the lack of ring on Laurel’s finger, but she chose to ignore it for the time being.

            “Why?”

            “I just got back from being with Oliver.”

            Felicity wrinkled her brow. “What?”

            “I know you and him were involved and I just wanted to do the decent thing in both sparing him and you the painful awkwardness of ending this.”

            She really had a way of making herself out to be some kind of saint, didn’t she? You would think she’d just lifted a building off of Felicity or something by the amount of self-praise in her tone.

            However, Felicity couldn’t quite get on board with what she was trying to say. Oliver was with Laurel? What kind of “with”? Sure, they weren’t together or anything but sleeping with your first true love who broke your heart into a million pieces was a big deal and definitely something that needed to be discussed. She refused to give Laurel the satisfaction of asking though, because something told Felicity that the statement was meant to leave her wondering no matter how potentially innocent this “meeting” could have been. It still made her skin crawl.

“Let me ask again, considering my question was never quite addressed: what?”

Laurel smiled a little like she was trying to be sympathetic. The fakeness of it all was what really killed her. She just had to prepare herself to eat a ton of bullshit in the next few minutes.

            “Felicity, you’re a smart girl, you had to know this was eventually going to happen. We got drinks and really hashed out our whole perspective on love. One thing led to another and we were back on the same wavelength. Riding the same wavelength.”

            She eyed her carefully, waiting for a reaction out of the slightly smaller blonde, but there wasn’t one to be found. Felicity held her armor up high, besides, she was unsure how much of this she could actually believe.

            “What about Tommy?” She played along.

            A flicker of sorrow crossed Laurel’s face, a moment of genuineness in all the theatrics she displayed.

            “He couldn’t do it anymore.”

            She didn’t know whether to feel bad for her or praise Tommy for finally realizing his wrongs, but she fell somewhere in the middle. It was a little hard to feel sorry for someone that was currently trying to sabotage whatever potential affiliation you had to someone else, to someone they wanted.

            “I thought I was supposed to be with Tommy, but sometimes life shows you the truth in the most mysterious ways. Ollie thinks he’s doomed for a life of unhappiness and wants something stable and familiar that’ll keep him safe. Unfortunately, this “trial by error” situation with you, just isn’t that.”

            “You do realize what you’re describing is “settling”, right? That’s not how it’s supposed to work. You go for what you love- for _who_ you love, not for the easiest thing available. Why would anyone want to be that?”

            “I can’t even believe you believe what you’re saying after all you’ve been through. I thought you were supposed to be the logical one.”

            “I am, but I’m not dumb enough to think love doesn’t exist.”

            “Love exists, but it doesn’t ever end well, now does it? Who would ever want to go through something that bad so many times? For it to be all for nothing in the end?”

            “It’s not “all for nothing” if you love the person with everything you’ve got.”

            “And you think that’s you? You think you’re this great love for him?”

            “I didn’t say that. We haven’t even made it through a whole date let alone addressed that playing field. I don’t know much about where we are, but I do know that I want him to be happy and frankly, Laurel, I don’t see him ever being really happy with you.”

            Laurel pursed her lips for a moment in retraction to the blow. “He could learn to be happy with me. We certainly had a bunch of happy times before. Sometimes love and happy endings aren’t about epic, passionate, fortifying star-crossed lovers, but are about two lonely people that just need someone to lean on.”

            “That still doesn’t sound like you. You weren’t there for him! You put him through living hell. People who love or even just care about each other don’t do that.”

            “I know you think you comforted him and helped him become a better man, but… And I don’t know how to put this nicely; you were his rebound, Felicity. You were just a warm pair of legs to fall between when I wasn’t around. That’s not being a shoulder to cry on. That’s being desperate.”

            “I’m desperate? I can separate my feelings about Oliver for this, because he just had a loss so great, Laurel, that I don’t really know where his heads at. I’m not scheming to be with him. My life doesn’t revolve around whether or not I’m ever going to really be with him. I just care about him. Whether it be as a friend or more, it’s kind of one in the same right now. You, on the other hand, solely have your own agenda at mind. The second Tommy breaks up with you, you go running back to him, expecting him to pick up the pieces!”

            “As if you didn’t hop on Oliver the second you got the chance to when Ray cheated on you. You ran back to high school, hoping it would turn out differently, that you would get the guy and I’d be the one left to watch.”

            “Oh my God… It’s not a competition… Where even is Oliver?”

            “Probably on his way over to tell you a similar story.”

            “You’re lying.”

            Really, though. Felicity had a hard time believing much of any of what she was being fed, but was also mightily conflicted. Laurel was convincing and despite what she led on, her words and their undercuts stung. She felt like she was being picked on by popular girls in high school again. Only this time, the woman who used to defend her was now her opponent. How did this even happen? Where did time go and what type of karma was this? Someone was definitely laughing out there.

            “Felicity, he doesn’t care about you. I’ll leave, but you will see that I’m right. Oliver just wants his cake and to eat it too. If you don’t want to get hurt, even though I know you promised yourself you wouldn’t, I’d step back.”

            “So you came all this way over here, to throw whatever fake ending you’ve conjured up in my face, under the false pretense you were doing me a favor? Laurel, you were nicer than this.”

            “And you were smarter than to let some guy consume you to the point where you couldn’t even see when you’re being played.”

            “For the last time, my feelings for Oliver are not controlling me. The only controlling that’s going on around here is what you’re trying to do to him. He’s some safety net to you. It’s like he’s not even a person, but you’ve still convinced yourself that you’re what’s best for him.”

            “Yeah and your “friends-with-benefits”, “no-strings-attached”, “fuck-buddy” relationship is really the breeding grounds for a healthy relationship. If anything, you were the one who drove him away from wanting a relationship. Now that he thinks he can have this obstacle-free, simple satisfaction, he doesn’t see the point in an actual meaningful relationship. Say I fucked him up all you want, Felicity Smoak, but you did not help him. You confused, changed, and weakened him. If he’d just recovered on his own, he might have entered another healthy relationship down the road. No, instead he was too busy worrying about crossing lines and enjoying responsibility-less sex. He’s devolved because of you. ”

            Felicity’s shoulders deflated. She was tired of this back and forth in her doorway. Not only would neighbors eventually catch on if it escalated, but because she could only take so many more attacks from Laurel Lance. She didn’t want to make this fight last all night. They were on opposing sides and for the first time in a while, that in itself really hurt.

            “We used to be friends.” Felicity said quietly. “Best friends, I thought.”

            For a moment, the other woman’s eyes flicked to the ground and then returned with less vigor and ice in their depths.

            “Yeah, we were.”

            “What even happened?”

            “You sided with him.”

            Right. That was absolutely true, too. It was hard to believe that she and Laurel were friends before she and Oliver, because ultimately that was not the final outcome. Laurel and Felicity were best friends in high school, but she and Oliver grew closer afterwards, especially in the turmoil that was their dividing friend group.

            “Oh yeah.” She said stupidly.

            “Years ago, we said we’d never let a boy get between us.”

            “Oliver’s a friend, who just happens to be a boy.” Felicity shook her head. “And you cheated on him. I couldn’t just turn my back on him.”

            Laurel nodded. “Yeah, well… Goodnight, Felicity.”

            “Goodnight.”

            On that note, she turned and left, leaving Felicity to stare ahead in shock that the previous conversation just happened. She couldn’t believe her. Well, no, actually, she could. This was what she became and it shouldn’t shock her that she was intimidated by whatever Oliver and Felicity had going on right now.

            Speak of the devil, Oliver knocked on the door a few minutes later and he appeared a little lighter than he had at the funeral, which was both a relief and a mystery. She found herself smiling weakly at him anyway when she opened the door, not wanting to seem to eager to fire off about fifty questions.

            “Come on in.” Unlike Laurel, he listened and crossed the threshold to her apartment as he had so many times before.

            “Hey.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek, which she’d be lying if she said it didn’t send a shiver down her spine or a little mental “fuck you” to Laurel. Before going on to say what he was clearly thinking. He furrowed his brow at her expression.

            “You look like you’d just been gut-punched. Is everything okay?”

            “Oh? Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just a little frazzled to see you so… Happy? Is that a smile on your face?”

            “It is indeed.”

            “What’s the occasion?”

            “I realized what I want. For the first time in a while, it makes sense. It feels right to me.”

            “And that is… A better sushi restaurant downtown?”

            “Yes and no. Felicity, you’ll never guess who I just talked to.”

            “Laurel?”

            “Lau- wait! How’d you guess?”

            “I did graduate top of my class.” She shrugged. “Go on.”

            “Okay… Well, we were talking about love and how all the instances of love in our lives have failed tremendously.”

_Some for good reason._

            “Yeah?”

            “And I realized: why bother?”

            “Hmm?” Felicity couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

            “Why bother with all that? Name one person in your life who’s had a “successful” marriage or a “successful” relationship that in the end, made them truly happy. Besides movie endings and mythological tales, it just doesn’t happen.”

            “Oliver-”

            “-You know what deems a successful relationship? Marriage and dying before divorce. The divorce rate is 50% and of the remaining 50% a significant amount of those people are just hanging on until death. They’re not even happy! Why would I want to subject myself to officially being with someone, even if I think I love them, if it means I’m going to end up hating them? Why not just preserve whatever we’ve got and just plateau. If we’re up high, why do we need to try and go higher?”

            “Oliver, I know what happened with your parents really messed you up and rightfully so-”

            “-It didn’t mess me up. It set me straight. I was delusional before to think that I could have it all. Instead, I’m making the conscious choice to be happy. And to be happy, marriage, relationships, all of that is just poison.”

            “You can’t really believe that…”

            “How can’t you? How can you, after everything you’ve been through, after all you’ve seen, hold up this false hope that it’s going to happen and it’s going to work?”

            “Because as much as love is a feeling, it’s also a choice.” She insisted. “And yeah, in the beginning after what happened with Ray, I was unsure about letting myself get to that place with anyone else, because God, it does hurt when it doesn’t work, but that wasn’t at any fault of my own. If both people choose to stay and choose to keep loving each other then it’s okay. It’s not supposed to be easy, but it’s simple and it’s always going to be okay.”

            Oliver shook his head. “You can’t make someone choose, Felicity. And life happens. Not everything is okay.”

            Suddenly there were tears in her eyes. “No, I guess you can’t.”

            He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

            She sniffled and looked away. “Laurel stopped over.”

            “Laurel?” He frowned. “What would she possibly have to tell you?”

            “A lot of mean things, but I can handle those, because they’re generally lies. Or at least… I thought they were. In summation, I guess she wasn’t lying, but I was.”

            His confused look only increased while he waited for her to continue.

            “I get it, you’re hurting, and if we can chalk all this up to that, then I can live with that. But if you really and truly believe that settling is the best option for you, well, you’ve changed and I can’t be involved with someone that doesn’t see themselves going anywhere outside of acceptance.”

            “Felicity-”

            “-She hurt you! A million times over and you’re just going to let her crawl into your head and destroy everything you’ve built from that loss? As your friend, which is the only thing I can be for you if you’re going to let her back into your life, it’s awful to see you backslide like this. It’s… heartbreaking, Oliver.”

            “So that’s it? You just want to be friends? After everything?”

            “I’m not the one choosing to go backwards.”


	34. Darkest Before Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were misunderstandings afoot, but sometimes the truth isn’t enough to set things straight.

            Oliver sat in his car, staring straight ahead in bewilderment at the previous events. Of all the emotions that were coursing through him, the most prevalent was confusion. Why did Laurel think it was her job to go to Felicity’s place? Knowing her, whatever she said couldn’t have been good and was likely astray from the truth. Without giving it much more thought, Oliver found himself driving to Laurel’s place. Showing up on her doorstep didn’t give him the same sense of familiarity and warmth as it had before. Instead, he felt ice and bitterness, like Laurel had gone out of her way to take away the last good thing he had going for him. Perhaps, the best thing he had going for him.

            She answered the door moments after he’d knocked, like she’d been expecting him. He followed her inside, but didn’t stray from the narrow hallway near her front door.

            “What are you-”

            “-What did you say to Felicity?” He came right out with it, no reservations and no bullshit, because he wouldn’t get on her level.

            “She told you I stopped by.”

            “Obviously! Laurel, what did you tell her?”

            “Only what you said to me! That you were looking for the next best thing, and how that was going to be you and I ending up together.”

            Oliver wrinkled his brow. “You and- What? I never said that.”

            “You didn’t have to. I knew what you meant.”

            “Evidently not. I meant staying as friends with benefits with Felicity, because that’s the second best.”

            “To me? Because, Oliver, you can still have me. Come on, after all this grief, all this heartache, you can still have me. I know you’re scrambled and hurt from everything that happened with your mom, but I’ve known you and I’ll always know you unlike anyone else ever has or can. Don’t trick yourself into believing your little sex games with Felicity is anything more than that.”

            “Felicity isn’t second place to anyone.” He said bitterly. “Especially not you.”

            “How can you even say that? You love me.”

            “No I don’t.”

            “And what? You’re in love with her now? You don’t even know what love is. Neither of you do. You’re just trying to replace the void.”

            “Even if that were true, how does that make you any different? Tommy dumped you and you’re crawling back to me, letting me know I’m your second choice, and trying to sabotage what I’ve got going.”

            “Seems like you’re doing a bang up job of doing that yourself. As always.”

            “Look, I can’t be with anyone. I can’t… I can’t let myself get hurt the way you hurt me ever again. I can’t be my mom or my dad. I won’t.”

            “And you think Felicity is going to settle for some in between with you? The girl has been in love with you since we were 16.”

            “She’s not...”

            “Just because you and I have given up on love doesn’t mean everyone else has too. It’s not fair for her if you go with her, Ollie. You’ll never be able to give her what I can.”

            “Again, you’re being a hypocrite, because you keep saying you can give me more but you’re the one who betrayed me and somehow you’ve convinced yourself you’re my first choice.”

            “I am.”

            “I’m not yours, Laurel. I’m not yours to manipulate and control anymore. I don’t even love you anymore… Not even a little. And that’s all because of her.”

            “You had to replace me, really?”

            “I wasn’t looking to replace you, not completely. I just wanted to feel better and it started that way but it became so whole. It became a complete thing that I looked forward to and built my life around to an extent.”

            Laurel actually looked bewildered, as if she was waking up. “She’s not just a fuck-buddy is she?”

            “Of course not! How can you ever be just anything with her? I haven’t been this happy with someone in… ever, not even with you. And the crazy thing is? It’s always sort of been there. I’ve never felt so connected to someone. When I’m with her, I can forget about all the hurt and the pain that’s been going on lately. It’s like I’m hanging out with my best friend, but more. She makes me feel hope and kindness and forgiveness to a degree that I’m not even sure I deserve. In fact, I am so terrified to lose her that I’m standing on your doorstep for whatever reason, hoping to God you’re the one who fucked this up for me.”

            Laurel sighed. “Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out.”

            “If I did, I wouldn’t be here.”

            “What do you want me to say, Ollie? I’m just finding out that the boy who told me he’d love me forever at age 17 decided forever had a limit.”

            “I’m not going to apologize for moving on from you.”

            “But standing here expecting me to right your wrongs? Where is your head at? What do you want from me? Do you still believe in love and all that? Do you even love her? What about-”

            “Yes.” He interrupted in a burst, like it’d been fighting its way to the surface for centuries and perhaps it had, because once it was said, a sense of relief covered his entire chest region. “I love her.”

            After a moment of studying Laurel’s blank face, he rubbed a hand over his face in frustration. There went the final rule.

            “But I can’t be with her.”

            “Makes sense.” Her voice was dry.

            “I don’t even know myself or have an ounce of my life together.”

            “Doesn’t sound like she’d care very much, you know. If she loves you as much as I think she does.”

            “Really?”

            “Ollie, I think we can both agree that we’re pretty messed up. I messed a lot up in your life and yeah, you can find me to blame for a lot of this, but you can’t blame me for this. You need to fix this in whatever way you know how because as much as I find myself doubting the prospect of love, you deserve happiness. I mean that. It doesn’t sound at all like that’s with me.”

            “You think I should tell her?”

            “I do.”

            “She’s pretty mad.”

            “Yeah and so will you if you miss your chance because you were too afraid to take the right steps.”

            “… Thank you, Laurel.”

 

* * *

 

            “Felicity… Is there a reason you’ve brought me to Ray’s old building at midnight?” Sara asked warily.

            The two girls sat on the hood of Felicity’s car in the parking lot across the street, looking up at the flickering lights that bled “Palmer Tech” into the dark sky. A bottle of wine was between them, but neither were tipsy in the slightest, sobered by distant thoughts and fears that the other couldn’t guess about.

            “Because it’s going to be mine.”

            “Really?”

            “Yeah. Ray lost the company.” She grinned and despite the smile, Sara could tell her friend was both tired and sad about something or maybe a million different somethings. Then again, it was impossible to question one’s state of happiness when they swing by unexpectedly with a bottle of wine asking if you wanted to go out. This wasn’t the normal person’s definition of “out”, but Sara would take all the time she could with her friend.

            “You deserve it, Felicity. You deserve it more than anyone.”

            “I’m making Curtis my VP.”

            “You’re fake fuck buddy?”

            “The very same. He’s a lot better of a scientist than fake fuck buddy.”

            “Okay, so it’s not the career or Ray that’s bothering you. Is it your semi-boyfriend?”

            “He’s not my boyfriend.”

            “Hence the “semi” in front.”

            “Yeah, your sister stopped by today.”

            “Lovely.”

            “And she fed me a bunch of bullshit about how she and Oliver are going to end up together and how Oliver doesn’t really care about me or believes in love.”

            “What a surprise. Her and Tommy just broke up. Or shall I say: he dumped her. I don’t think he could take the guilt of what he did to Ollie any longer.”

            “Yeah she basically said that in her own creative words too.”

            “You didn’t actually believe her right?”

            “Not until Oliver came to my door not too long later kind of proving her point… Well, maybe everything but her and him being together. Oliver is on this kick where he doesn’t think love is a real thing.”

            “That’s crazy.”

            “Right?”

            “He’s totally in love with you.”

            “I- Wait, no he isn’t.”

            “Felicity, are you kidding me? I’ve never seen anyone look at anyone the way he looks at you.”

            “Then you’ve never seen the way Nyssa looks at you.”

            “The point is, he lights up when you walk into the room. Even if he’s not willing to admit it, he continues to make excuses for breaking these “rules” the same way you have. He’s just so mixed up that he can’t see straight, but in spite of everything, he still wants to be with you and just you in some capacity. You honestly can’t tell me you don’t feel some type of way when you’re with him.”

            “He’s amazing.” Felicity gushed, not looking at Sara. “It’s weird, hooking up with him kind of started as a safety net and I do feel safe. I’ve never felt safer than when I’m with him, but I also feel like I’m having a heart attack when he touches or looks at me. Then, it feels normal, it feels like something new, but also like I’m at home.”

            “Love is a mass of contradictions. It doesn’t make any sense and its scary to lose. I know you’re afraid to and so is Ollie.”

            “I just don’t want him to give up.”

            “On you or on love?”

            “I want him to be happy, but I want to be happy too.”

            “Can’t you two idiots just be happy together?”

            “I don’t know.” Felicity said, her voice hollow and her eyes glanced back up to the red name in the sky.

            “What are you thinking?”

            “I’m thinking about the first time I met Oliver Queen. I’m pretty sure I was in love with him from the moment he helped me pick up my stuff. You know, when a cute boy is nice to you when you’re in high school, the world stops and your heart drops to your feet.”

            Sara snorted. “You’re a dork.”

            She nodded. “I never saw myself as someone he’d like that way… It was always Oliver and Laurel and I never expected anything else. Then, I found Ray and the universe seemed balanced. When all that went to hell months ago, my world was shaken and I didn’t know what to believe. Oliver lost Laurel and we found each other. I was so afraid I would fall in love with him and be susceptible to that kind of hurt, because in my eyes I was the only one who was at risk for that.”

            “You’re very lovable.”

            She smirked. “And like an idiot, I tried to set up all these barriers to keep that from happening, because I knew the second Oliver Queen crawled under my skin and broke the distance between us, it would be impossible to keep him out of my heart.”

            “So?”

            “So I love him.” She shrugged and it was simple as that.

            A big smile flashed across Sara’s face. “Yeah, everyone in a 5 mile radius of you two knows that.”

 

* * *

 

            Felicity didn’t know how she knew Oliver would stop by later that night, but around 2 am, he was at the doorstep to her apartment. She met him downstairs and it reminded her of months ago when she’d found him there in a pile of broken dreams. Now he stood, weakened but not destroyed, a stronger man.

            “Hey.” He said quietly. Clearly, he was nervous about something.

            “Hi.” So was she.

            “Felicity, I’m sorry.”

            “Me too.” She said weakly. “I’m sorry to have let it get this far.”

            “Yeah… Wait, what?”

            She shook her head, a look of clear sadness in her eyes. “We were playing with fire this whole time and the thing is, I knew we were even while it was happening. I lamely tried to stop it with stupid rules to keep us in some kind of order, but we couldn’t even do that.”

            “Yeah, because… Well, maybe there’s a reason for that, Felicity.”

            “Because of love? You aren’t even sure if you believe in it and what? Now that I won’t go back to being just friends with benefits, you’ll comply and be in a relationship with me? I won’t be with someone who’s with me out of favor or half asses it. I know I’ve had a lot of security issues lately, but I know I deserve more than that.”

            “It’s not like that. You know my head’s been turned upside down lately.”

            “I get that, Oliver, and for good reason, but the entire point of what you and I had was to help each other move on and move forward and yet you’re trying to regress and take me with you.”

            _“I want to be with you!”_ He _should_ have said. _“The idea of not being with you tears me up in ways that my heart can’t take. You’re it for me.”_

            “I’m not trying to! I haven’t felt as right unless I’m with you.”

            “Which is all good and great until we’re holding each other back from being happy.”

            _“You’re my happiness.”_ He should have said.

            “I thought we cared about each other.”

            “We do, but I don’t know if we’re in love.”

            Oliver felt his heart shattering into a million pieces. It must have been evident across his face, because Felicity stepped closer to him and it was easier to see tears burning her eyes.

            “I mean, I know we think we love each other, but how could we really know, Oliver? We started our thing in love with two other people, trying to patch each other up with tear soaked rags because its all we had and we fell into a comfortable and confusing situation that is very easy to read as love. And I’m so sorry to have pretended it wouldn’t happen, Oliver. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.”

            “How is anything supposed to be? You’re the one telling me to stop regressing and here you are doing the same thing.”

            “I want you to meet someone that makes you so happy. I want you to meet someone that makes you as happy as you’ve made me for the past six months.”

            “Felicity, come on, you don’t have to do this.”

            “Look, you really were the only person that could pull me out of that funk and maybe I was the same to you, but we’ve dug ourselves too deep, because in the end, it wouldn’t have mattered if we broke every rule except the most important.”

            He only answered with the pained reaction on his face and God, it killed her that she was the one causing it. She kept reassuring herself and her budding anxiety that this was for the best. She told herself she wouldn’t fall in love with him and she did. Maybe he loved her too, but both their true affections for each other were lost in the mayhem and craze that was the ride of the last few months. They had to let each other go to move on and it killed every part of her, but she knew she had to do what’s best before they jumped into a relationship they weren’t ready for.

            “The one about messing up our friendship.” Tears were flowing now. “Because in hindsight, all I wanted was my best friend.”

            “I didn’t want to hurt you.” Oliver said softly and he forced himself not to reach out to her. “I don’t want to lose you.”

            “I don’t want to lose you either.” She looked down. “But we aren’t ready to be in a relationship and we can’t stay where we are… Nor can we go back.”

            He swallowed a lump in his throat. “Just for the record, I do love you. You can tell me I don’t and that it’s hard to tell otherwise, but I do. I’ve always have, even if I didn’t know better.”

            “I love you too.” She said softly. “Goodnight, Oliver.”

            “Goodnight, Felicity.”

            With that, he turned to leave and it wasn’t until he was around the corner did Oliver let himself start to allow tears to run down his cheeks. There was a hollow feeling in his chest, but he wouldn’t let it get him down. In fact, he was sick of falling and sick of sinking. Instead, he would rise up and he would better himself. Because Felicity was right. His faith in love and happiness was minute right now. As much as they grew together, it was time to grow on their own.

            It didn’t stop him from going to the late night pizza place that had somehow become theirs not too long ago. It didn’t stop him from putting on _Star Wars_ that night and not feeling the same without her lengthy commentary. It didn’t stop him from missing the soft scent of lavender as he drifted into a tireless slumber.

            He had to redeem himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have hope, dear readers.


	35. Love Thyself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somewhere along the line, between all the fooling around and terrible decision making, actual emotional growth somehow soaked in. Even if it did take a couple months.

Felicity was avidly moving boxes into her _new executive office_. Every time she walked through her own set of glass doors (yeah, she doesn’t get the point of them either), she felt like she was meeting with an authoritative figure. In a sense, she was, because the office belonged to her now and she did, indeed, have a massive amount of authority.

            Curtis helped her with her last box of equipment and set it with the rest on her desk. He was more than happy to take a job with her, along with some of the other poorly treated members of Kord Industries, and even more happy to be named Vice President of her new company.

            “Thank you for helping me settle in.” She smiled. “I never actually realized how much stuff I had until I had to move it.”

            “You like ferns, don’t you?”

            “I wanted to have a little greenery to spruce up the place.” She shrugged. “Plus, they require practically zero maintenance, which if you ever gardened with me, you’d realize that is a very good thing.”

            “It’s better than when I helped Mr. Kord move up to his office. He was too handsy.”

            “Ted is gay?”

            “Bisexual, I believe.”

            “Oh, well regardless I feel sorry for whoever he goes home to.” She grumbled, thinking back on various nights where he called her in because the system went down. In reality, she was fairly sure he was harassing her so he could see her bent over the wiring, but that was neither here nor there.

            “So, Madame CEO, what’s going to be _Smoak Solution’s_ first big movement?”

            “I was thinking we try and get behind a foundation that supports equipping needy families with internet. Everything is done at the click of a button, it puts a lot of kids at disadvantage in school. We certainly have the spare tech.”

            Curtis grinned. “I think that’s a great idea, boss. I’m actually going to go see if the guys in IT have any specific donations in mind.”

            As the man exited, she leaned against her oak desk to relish this particular moment of success. She took a breath in and closed her eyes. She’d worked tirelessly to arrive here, to be able to make a difference. She had so many ideas that she needed to slow her brain down and truly begin thinking like a CEO, not a kid in a candy store. Still, it was hard not to become increasingly giddy as she could hear the men on the roof putting her name in lights.

            She smiled as she realized that silver linings truly could transform into sunny days, but not without struggle. The struggle made everything all the more worth it. She was a stronger person now. She had to be. She was a boss and needed to act accordingly along with doing whatever she could to keep her status from going to her head. Felicity silently swore to stay true to herself, to do great things, but not sacrifice her morals or her humanity to achieve them.

            She’d been so lost in her moment in the sun, that she completely missed the sound of her office door opening and closing. In her defense, glass barely made any noise if you were careful.

            She jumped back as she saw none other than Ray Palmer standing in her doorway. Or at least, she thought it was Ray Palmer. This man didn’t look anything like the Ray Palmer that cheated on her and stalked her. This didn’t look like the man she fell in love with nor did he look like the villain he transformed into.

            He looked like a stranger.

            “Hi, Felicity.” His voice was still the same, without the usual overconfidence and attempted suaveness, but the same nonetheless.

            “Hey… Paul Bunyan?” She wrinkled her brow at his appearance. It was an accurate comparison, because his hair was grown to a more unruly length, a thick, black beard covered a majority of his face, and he even wore red and black flannel that was tucked into a pair of jeans with brown boots. She was just wondering where the axe was.

            He looked down to his clothing choice and absently stroked his beard. A laugh echoed through her office and she couldn’t think of the last time she’d ever heard him earnestly laugh. It seemed, upon reflection, that over the tail end of their relationship, he developed a plastic laugh. He became the kind of person who was hard to tell when they were actually laughing or just faking it. She used to think she could read between the differences, because she felt she loved and knew him, but she didn’t and that was the cold truth.

            “I should go to comic con and cosplay!” His words were animated, but his eyes were still steely and hardened, not at the same intensity as she remembered, but they weren’t exactly warm or inviting as high school Ray’s. Even looking back now, they weren’t all that appealing. Then again, she was a bit jaded when it came to her outlook on Ray Palmer. She tried her best to say they had good times and that was that, but it was still difficult to see the good parts without them feeling tainted.

            “I heard about your company. I’m sorry to hear about that.” She offered. It was awkward to say the least considering his company was now hers. She just hated the silence that lingered between them. She also wanted to know exactly why he thought popping in would be a good idea.

            He waved his hand. “I think it’s probably for the best. Money made me… Money made me crazy. It changed me. My mom dying also really got to me. I… I needed to grow up and away from that.”

            Was he trying to apologize, excuse his wrongdoings, or win her back? He was doing an awful job at all three, but it was still confusing where this conversation was supposed to go.

            “You changed before the money and before your mom.” She finally decided to say. If he wanted to attempt any of those choices with at least honest effort, he might as well get better perspective.

            She put distance between them by standing behind her desk. She didn’t fear him, but she absently gave the hint that she, by no means, wanted him anywhere near her.

            “You changed the second you joined that “gentleman’ fraternity” at school.”

            “That was only two years into our relationship.” He communed. “You stayed with me for five years after that.”

            “It was a slow process and I barely noticed it then, but that’s when it started. You became increasingly distant with our friends, started holding yourself to higher regards than them and everyone else, thus breaking your friendship with them, and concocted the thought process that money was contingent with success and happiness, so that became everything. Then your mother died and you started slowly leaving me.” Her words weren’t bitter in the slightest, merely factual.

            She’d had a lot of time to ponder this situation that so deeply marred her soul. She’d been over the trail of events in her head more times than she’d like to admit. She hadn’t thought about it recently. In fact, she hadn’t thought about it in months.

            “You always knew me better than I knew myself.” He declared. Again, she was unsure what his prerogative was, because his voice didn’t give much notification of anything she’d recognize. She really didn’t know him anymore.

            She nodded. “I did.”

            “You still do.” He moved forward and she stepped back despite the great distance that stood between them. Her office was so roomy.

            “No I don’t.” She shook her head. “I knew the boy I loved in high school and I knew the jerk he turned into. I don’t know who’s standing in front of me now.”

            “Do you want to?”

            “Okay, wait a minute.” She huffed out a laugh. “It’s been, what, 10 months since we broke up-”

            “-Ten months, two weeks, and ten days.”

            “… Okay, but regardless, are you really trying to get back together with me after everything you’ve done? Do you seriously see something here that can be salvaged in the wake of your own dismemberment?”

            “Felicity, I’m sorry. I’m seeing a therapist and he said that if I want to get my life on track, I need to make right all the wrongs I committed. You’re the first person I’ve come to, because even though you stood by me and supported me through all my struggles, I completely took advantage of your open and unconditional love.”

            “Are you actually here for my forgiveness or are you here to get me back, because you lost everything else?”

            “I need you. I love you. I was stupid to think I could any of this without you in my life.”

            “I don’t know exactly when or how, but I’ve been completely cured of you. I look at you right now and I… I just feel bad for you. If you want to make right by me, at least understand that though you completely destroyed any kind of foundation of love we had, you outright disrespected me as a person.”

            “Well-”

            “You stalked me! You literally sent people undercover to keep a watchful eye on me and for what? You were the one that ruined this relationship. I let that madness go on with stupid ignorance for far too long, but I wanted to have a life with you. You sent people after me to make sure my self-esteem was low enough so that I would let you crawl back to me when you were finished with your playmates. How is any of that excusable?”

            “How long?” He asked plainly.

            She caught her breath from her rant and stared at his blank face in confusion.

            “Excuse me?”

            “Oliver. You are sleeping with him. How long has it been going on for?”

            “I’m not sleeping with Oliver.” Which was an honest statement _now_. “But if I was, that would be none of your business.”

            “Don’t lie to me.” He gritted as though he hadn’t burned their relationship down while sitting on a throne of lies. “I don’t blame you. He got everything I wanted… Eventually. He always won.”

            “Let me be clear with you: I am not something to be won. I’m not a prize and this isn’t high school anymore. Anything Oliver Queen has gotten is because he’s damn well deserved it. You’re not this victim just because you don’t get what you want. He’s ten times the man you are and he always has been.”

            Anger began boiling to the surface. It seemed his therapist would be having a field day with him this week.

            “Don’t forget, sweetheart, that I know you the same way you know me. You slept with him. You may not be now, but you have. I can see it in your eyes. You fell in love with him. You don’t get over your first love without falling in love with someone else.”

            “You’re right.”

            “I know I am.” He growled. “I knew you always had eyes for him-”

            “Oh, not about Oliver.” She winced at the fact that he could tell she was lying. “I mean, I did have sex with Oliver… A lot . And yes, because I know deep down you’re wondering, he is better than you so I guess that’s another tally mark for the metaphorical scorecard you’re keeping in your head. That’s another point for Queen.”

            He punched a fresh hole in her wall. She was pretty thankful he didn’t have that axe she’d thought of earlier. Truthfully, she was riding too high on adrenaline and confidence to let appropriate fear set in.

            “You spiteful bitch.”

            Her finger was already on the security button as she calmly shook her head. People had gathered outside her office to watch the charade and perhaps that was part of her logic of remaining so sane and still pressing him.

            “I did fall in love with someone, but I’m not talking about Oliver.” She fell in love with Oliver, but that was another wound for another day.

            “Who the fuck is he?” He demanded, ready to kill.

            “Me.” She pointed at herself for emphasis. “Frankly, Ray Palmer, I love myself too much to ever go near you ever again so if you will, kindly get out of _my_ office and my life for good. I will call security if I have to.”

            She had to.

            He was dragged out kicking and screaming by her newly hired, macho security men. The police were called and it was suggested that she get a restraining order against him. She should have been riled up, worried, concerned for her wellbeing, but all she could do was smile. Her coworkers stared in horror, as she seemed completely unmoved by the confrontation. Their boss was not one to be reckoned with.

            She was over him, completely and utterly rid of all things Ray Palmer. She felt more pride now than she did when she’d acquired the company. It truly was a new day.

* * *

 

            “So, do you guys make it impossible to quit just like every other gym in existence?” A familiar voice asked and Oliver turned around to see Tommy Merlyn standing in front of the desk, hands in his pockets, and a sheepish look on his face.

            “Hey man.” He shrugged weakly.

            “Hey.” Oliver said.

            A moment of silence passed between them and Oliver briefly wondered how the only time he wasn’t being bustled with questions or phone calls was when his former best friend stopped by.

            “What brings you by?”

            “Well, I heard Flecha was under new ownership and I figured it was only right to stop by and offer my services.”

            “Co-owning your father’s business isn’t enough for you?” He asked.

            “Inheriting your parent’s money wasn’t enough for you?”

            “I needed a hobby. I figured I’d do something I’m good at, what with Slade in jail. Besides, some of my parent’s money is going into the place.” Oliver nodded at the advanced equipment along with the new wave of trainers. In the far corner, John Diggle worked out. He got a free membership.

            “Right… Look, Oliver, I just wanted to say I’m sorry. Laurel and I-”

            “-She told me.”

            “Oh.” Tommy’s face went blank. “You guys…”

            “No!” Oliver shook his head and laughed a little. “Never again.”

            “I thought you loved her.”

            “I thought _you_ loved her.”

            “Not to sound girly, but I loved having you as my best friend more.” Tommy averted his eyes. “I couldn’t take the guilt anymore… The loneliness… It kind of made me resent her in a way.”

            “You’re right.”

            “What?”

            “That did sound girly.”

            Tommy chuckled. “I know I can’t fix the damage I’ve caused. I really do. I was an asshole and I don’t have any valid excuses for my behavior. You’ve been through hell and could probably really use a friend… Even if I’ve been a pretty shitty one.”

            Oliver paused. He was tired of the animosity between the two of them. He missed the façade of the old days where the three of them were best friends, but he’d accepted and became accustomed to the new age they’d entered. It would be nice to have Tommy back, even if things could never be the same. He was done living in the past anyway.

            Oliver grabbed a towel and stuck out his hand. “You’re more than welcome to stick around and wipe the sweat off the machines.”

            Tommy looked at his hand and then up at Oliver before smirking and taking the towel. “Right. I gotta work my way up.”

            “Well, yeah, but I also really don’t want to do it.”

            “Thank you, Oliver.”

            “We might not ever be like we were before, in fact I don’t really have any interest in letting Laurel back into my life… But I’d be willing to try again. I’ve learned lately that I have a habit of letting my past hinder my faith in the future. That’s something I need to work on.”

            “You and Felicity on the rocks?”

            “There isn’t a “me and Felicity” right now.”

            “Right now?”

            “Yeah. I don’t deserve her right now.”

            “Oliver…”

            “Look, Tommy, I’d say you and I aren’t really on a “relationship rant” kind of level yet. So, if you don’t mind, I’ve got work to do.”

            “You really like her, huh?”

            “You know, the longer I am away from her… The more I realize how much I do.” Oliver sighed. “But I can’t rely on other people to be happy anymore.”

            “Don’t give up, man.”

            Oliver looked over his shoulder. “Who said anything about giving up?”


	36. Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The CEO of Smoak Solutions gets another unexpected visit.

            “Do you want me to cancel all of your appointments for today?” Caitlin asked cautiously. “Because I can certainly do that for you… If it’s all too much for you.”

            “What? Is the city being raided by an army or something?” Felicity snorted as they stood in the elevator. Then, she shifted and her eyes widened. “Shit, who died on _Game of Thrones_ last night? Wait, don’t tell me! Okay, tell me… No, don’t… Just please tell me Arya is safe. And Khaleesi. And Tyrion. And-”

            “-Ms. Smoak-”

            “-I asked you to call me _Felicity_ , Caitlin. Formalities make me uncomfortable. I mean, we live-text most primetime television with each other. I think we can be-”

            “-Felicity!” She snapped. When that earned her a look of surprise, her face softened. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know how to tell him no. He was just SO cute and sweet and I know you said you were done, but I think you should really hear him out-”

            “Caitlin…” Felicity’s voice heightened in pitch. If she went much higher, she was about to start sounding like Minnie Mouse. “Please tell me Ray Palmer isn’t in my office.”

            It wasn’t the fear of backsliding that made her dread the idea of her ex-fiance standing in her executive office. It was more of how unstable he could be. For God’s sakes, the last time she spoke to him, he had a full-grown beard and was attending anger management classes, which hadn’t done much given he was dragged out by security. So, yeah. She wasn’t really into being alone in a confined room with him.

            “Ray Palmer is not in your office.” Caitlin sounded like she was about to throw a hard “but” Felicity’s way.

            “But-” Yep, there it was. “Oliver Queen is.”

            Before Felicity could audibly respond, Caitlin whisked herself out of arm’s reach of her boss and was in the mix of too-perfectly busy workers that were all conveniently in the vicinity of Felicity’s office, which had glass doors, mind you. Curtis was among them and motioned for her to smooth her dress. She absently did so and he winked in response.

            Having Oliver standing in her office was a whole different story. It had been six months since they put an end to whatever they were and they’d led fairly unconnected lives ever since. Through the grape vine, she’d heard he was doing great for himself. He now owned the gym he was working at, creating various fitness regimes that became status quo for professional athletes. His news of success truly brought a warm glow to her heart when she’d heard it, because she wanted more than anything for him to be happy.

            Whatever crazy spell they’d mixed together, it had worked, no matter how unconventional. She was now CEO of her own technological empire, philanthropist, and proudly capable of going on casual dates without having panic attacks. She still wasn’t a hookup kind of girl, but after a few dates and the right series of moments, she could pull it off. Sara almost cried tears of joy when she’d found out that Felicity Smoak has officially slept with 5 different people in her lifetime.

            Regardless, now they were two independent people that didn’t need a relationship of any sort to define who they were. He showed her how to be comfortable with herself in life’s big changes, how to stand on her own two fight, and how to have fun again. They could be whomever they wanted and be ready for what life threw their way. She didn’t regret the results of the relationship at all.

            Well, most of them.

            She still regretted the final look on his face right before she turned to leave him for the final time. She didn’t regret leaving, because that was honestly for the best and despite the splintering ache she felt in her chest, it was the kind of pain that inspired you to work through it. She’d been broken hearted and messy before and was determined to never feel that way again. So, she still hurt, immensely. It killed her that she hurt more from him than she ever did from Ray, but this time she didn’t let it slow her down.

            She regretted rebounding off him and allowing herself to confuse friendship and love. The lines were blurred and they were always damned to be blurred, but she was supposed to be smart and in this case it didn’t show. She didn’t regret the fling itself, because while the sex was a goal she’d yet to achieve with anyone else, it was an experience where she grew alongside him and it was humbling and rewarding all in the same breath.

            She regretted that in the midst of all the passion, comfort, love, and heartache, she’d lost what she initially needed more than anything. She lost her friend and the hardest part of walking away from him that night was the knowledge of that needing to happen for her to truly find herself.

            She didn’t regret loving him. Not even a little.

            That didn’t mean she was about to drop her panties at the sight of him, no matter how _good_ he looked dressed in dark jeans and a blue collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up. She had her time in the sun as far as whimsical behavior went and she was thoroughly sunburnt in that department.

            Thank God he was facing away from her, because she would have died a little bit if he saw the way she had to physically and emotionally prepare herself before going in and speaking to him.

            He turned immediately when she entered through the door. She really did wonder what the purpose of clear doors were, given that she always felt like she was in a fishbowl, but she had blinds installed, which took away some of the glaring lack of privacy. She could literally hear her co-workers groan as the blinds drooped down. Yeah, no. She was not going to broadcast her unwelcome reunion with _another_ ex. Oliver technically wasn’t an ex, but he felt like one.

            “Well, you did it.” Oliver spoke first, which was a surprising change in pace, considering he was definitely not the talker of the two of them. His hands were in his pockets and he was still impossible to read by the way he gazed around her room in awe.

            She felt a swell of pride. “Yes, yes I did.”

            “I knew you could.”

            He still wasn’t looking at her, but she still smiled knowingly. “I know you did.”

            There was a moment of silence that could only be described as awkward before Felicity found it in her to speak.

            “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you aren’t here to complain about our newest model of watches, are you?”

            His eyes finally fluttered to hers and he smiled before shaking his head. “I’m sorry to say, but I am not an owner of such a thing.”

            “Ah, that’s right. You’re the only workout junkie that doesn’t believe in time.”

            “I have a-”

            “-phone, yeah. I should be impressed given your determination to remain in the stone ages.”

            He laughed again and for a moment the air felt dangerously like old times, but by the way he bit back, she could tell there was something brewing inside him. He’d come with a purpose and though unclear, she was immensely curious how she fit into this equation.

            “So, what does bring you to _Smoak Solutions?_ ” She leaned against her desk for support, trying to portray calmness.

            He shifted his feet and cleared his throat. “Do you remember why Laurel and I almost broke up our junior year of college?”

            Okay, so apparently she was going to have to guess. Bringing up his ex beforehand seemed to be bad news. She prayed he hadn’t backslid after coming so far away from that pit. Why would he be telling her if he did?

            “Laurel?” She couldn’t help herself. “Are you… Are you back together?”

            “No!” He answered quickly. “God, no. I haven’t… I’m not seeing anyone.”

            She shrugged. “Me neither. I mean, there have been someone’s…”

            “Yeah?” It was obvious he was curious, but he didn’t press the subject.

            “You forgot your anniversary, right? Or her birthday? Something like that. We all sort of stopped hanging out for like two weeks because of it.”

            “I was _always_ forgetting. I don’t know why, but dates just couldn’t stick in my head for some reason. I always felt bad and I tried to make it up to her, but it was one of the many ways I’d failed her.”

            “I told you to get a calendar.”

            “I don’t think I really wanted to remember. If I did, I would have done just that. But Felicity, do you know what was the first thing I did today?”

            “You… bought a calendar?”

            “I remembered the date.”

            “What date?”

            “Today’s date.”

            “Well, that’s good, because that is called living.” She quipped and she marveled at how easily they fell into a quick and flowing banter no matter how confusing and out of the blue.

            “Today is March 12th.”

            “Yes, and?”

            “ _And-_ ” He stood tall now, confidence coming from an invisible well within him as he raised his index finger for emphasis about whatever he was about to say.

            “And one year ago today, I slept with my best friend for the first time.”

            Her face instantly morphed from confusion to that of realization, then again to astonishment. Felicity swore her heart was going to burst from her chest cavity as her throat became increasingly dry. Was she breathing? She didn’t think she was breathing and if she was, it did nothing to combat the lightheadedness that swelled over her. Her grip on her desk only tightened.

            “Oh.” Her lips formed a perfect “o” as she stared at the man before her in surprise. His gaze tore right through her like hot lasers and she could feel it unraveling her entire demeanor. Her brain was on an absolute overdrive and she did everything she could to keep herself from shaking.

            “We convinced ourselves it was just a means to get over who we once believed were the loves of our lives. And it was how it started, but then somewhere in between the hookups, unofficial dates, jealousy, pregnancy scare, death, and stupidity, it became much more.”

            “What…” She stumbled through her jumbled thoughts. “What exactly are you doing here, Oliver?”

            “I’m finding my way back.” He said softly and suddenly she was taken to a cold night on her front doorstep, with a completely disparate tone and meaning. It was a night where they were both broken and it felt like centuries ago. Now, he was in front of her with an aura of wisdom and growth along with sincere and pleading eyes that made her heart skip.

            “At first, I thought getting myself together would be a way to deem myself worthy of you, but then I realized I needed to do it for myself. When I did, it still didn’t mean I missed you any less.”

            She opened her mouth to answer a couple of times, but how does one truly respond to that without betraying every step of improvement one has made over the past six months? The past year, even? She told Ray she was never looking back and she intended on keeping that promise.

            “I thought love wasn’t real and the only thing we can get is second place.”

            “I was wrong.” Oliver Queen rarely admitted when he was wrong. The man was intuitively stubborn by nature in spite of his good intentions. No matter how winded she was by his reappearance, the words still furthered her interest.

            “I was wrong to say that.”

            She doesn’t say anything, but her face is so expressive, it’s like she didn’t have to.

            “The reason I didn’t want to be in a relationship was because I had everything I ever wanted with you. I didn’t want to sacrifice that by going off and being with someone else. I didn’t want to sacrifice what we had by putting a label on it.”

            “I said I wouldn’t regress.” The memory stung.

            “You said you thought you were in love with me, but you could never really be sure, because we’d started messing around while we still loved other people. If we did love each other, we couldn’t tell where our past love ended and current love began. It was all intersected.”

            “It wasn’t fair to either of us.”

            “You wanted more than what I could give you. Than what I wanted to give you.”

            “You didn’t know what you wanted and I couldn’t be whipped around like a feeling-less mop.”

“I’m not trying to come up with excuses, but I’ve never really had a great example at what good love is, but I was thinking… Well, that could be us. I want that to be us. I know you wanted that too, deep inside.”

            “I still do.” She barely whispered. The wound was reopened and the floodgate of emotions was broken into pieces. “I can’t go back, Oliver. Too much has happened and we are both different, probably better, people now.”

            “I’m not asking you to.” He promised. “You were right to walk away from me, because we needed to be on our own, no matter how much it broke me that I didn’t have you to lean on when I was ruined.”

            “Ruined?”

            “Yeah.” He huffed on a little breathy chuckle. “You messed me up in the best way possible, Felicity Smoak. You took me by surprise and when I thought I had a hold on things, you continued to shake me, dig beneath my exterior and set up camp. I moved forward with life, because that’s what we do. We move forward, but I realized that there is no forward without you.”

            She swallowed thickly at the way his eyes filled up. Oliver rarely cried and it wasn’t a brute or manly thing, but just the way he was. When he did, it resembled a kicked puppy and could draw gut-wrenching sadness out of the sourest of individuals. Here, he looked cleansed.

            “I don’t want to do that anymore.”

            “What do you want?” Her eyes searched his desperately in the way she had months ago, having a feeling that she was going to get a delivery different than the one before.

            “Everything.” He moved towards her, determined to keep the tears that threatened her eyes from falling.

            “Yeah?” Her neck craned to look up at him.

            “I want to hold hands when we’re in public until our hands get sweaty and our fingers are cramped. I want dates at normal times, probably a little earlier so you can take impossibly long to decide what you want to order. I want to fight over stupid and real stuff to the point where we’re pink in the face at 2 am, because you’re persistent and I’m impossible. I want to spend the early hours of the morning making up with you on every flat surface in sight. I want to hold you at night so you don’t have to wear socks to bed and can just stick your icy little feet between my legs. I want to hear your entire analyzed commentary front to back of the entire _Lord of the Rings_ franchise even though I think they are the most boring movies in all of existence, but you make them interesting when you light up like Christmas.”

            The tears that were in danger of trickling down her face were now falling full speed ahead, streaking her cheeks repeatedly. She could taste the salt through her smile and for once it didn’t feel bitter.

            His hands cupped her face in a familiar manner, calloused thumbs swiping away the tears from her cheeks.

            “I want to tell you I love you every day for as many days as you’ll have me, because I do. I love you and I want to prove that to you.”

            He removed his hands from her face and slowly slid down to one knee. Her eyes bugged out as a singular tear fell completely to the floor. Felicity swore she felt like she was swallowing an egg and suffering from a heart attack all at once.

            He took her hand in his and God, was time moving at an exceptionally slow rate? Every hair on her body was standing up and she could feel her heart soaring and breaking at the same time. What the hell was happening?

            “Felicity Smoak… Will you be my date this Friday night?”

            Her breath caught and she paused to look at him in disorientation before shaking herself back to reality. The second she did, a huge bubble popped and she was now both laughing and crying at the same time.

            “Oh my God, stop doing that!” She took her hand from his and covered her mouth, eyes shining in a fit of emotion.

            “Never.” He grinned and she felt the implications behind his response and it only heightened the indescribable sensation going through her.

            “You’re insufferable.”

            “Does that mean…”

            “I love you. Yes.” She giggled. “Now get up and kiss me.”

            Oliver rose to his feet and the second he did, she took his face in her hands and pulled him into a searing kiss. His hands automatically pulled her against him as they both leaned against her desk. She could feel him smiling against her mouth and the feeling was so contagious, that they were almost completely unable to properly kiss, an issue neither ever experienced before.

            “You better enjoy this while you still can.”

            “Why’s that?” He nuzzled her nose with his.

            “Because I never kiss on the first date.”

            He laughed and locked their mouths together again, arms tightening, tongues tangling, and hearts beating in sync.

            Caitlin did end up having to cancel all of Felicity’s meetings for the rest of the day.


End file.
